Warning:
                 There are self-harming ahead, beware. Read at your own risk. I'm warning you guys again if you are not comfortable then don't read it.

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Jennie's P.O.V

I entered my room and slammed the door shut. I jumped in my bed and screamed in my pillow as if a volcano just erupted out of me.

I feel bad for lying to Taehyung but I had to get out of there or else I would have gone insane.

What Jimin said hurt me but for some reason, Taehyung's words hurt me more. I felt like crying, my heart is aching.

What is this feeling?

I place my hand against my chest. It is so agonizing that I just want to scream out my pain.

A tear left my eye but I quickly wiped it.

I won't let their words weaken me!

But the tears won't stop, they keep betraying me and kept falling, I tried to stop them but it didn't work.

I punched my chest, trying to get rid of this pain but to no avail.

'I don't like her'

These words kept repeating in my head like a broken record.

There were a lot of things that Jimin said but Taehyung's words hit me the most.

I know what I did was wrong, so wrong and I want to redeem my mistake, God knows how much I want to apologize to Rosé and Jimin, I have realized my mistake and I will do anything to make it right, but I'm afraid of their reaction, afraid that they won't accept my apology.

I just laid their tears still falling from my eyes and the ache in my heart won't stop.

Am I falling for him?

Is that why I don't like the idea of him with another girl, is that why I want to spend time with him, is that why I want to see that boxy smile of his that makes my day, is that why I'm always the happiest when I'm around him, the list goes on and on.

I just realized that I have fallen hard for him and I don't regret it a single bit.

When I was little, my parents used to pamper and spoil me too much but then they suddenly stopped because they thought that I could take care of myself.

I became a rebel just to get their attention but they never noticed. They still gave me enough money that I could buy whatever I want and that's how I was used to getting whatever I want, I wasn't used to hearing no.

And then I saw Jimin on the first day of high school, I had a crush on him, that's it, nothing more.

I know I acted like I was obsessed with him but I couldn't help it, I was always used to get what I wanted but he rejected me, and that hurt my pride.

I did the stupidest thing ever, hurt Rosé physically. I totally regret doing it and I really really want to apologize to her.

And then I met Taehyung, even if everyone was cold to me, he stayed beside me. I know that he was obliged to tutor me that's why he had stayed beside me but he could have ignored me or gave me a cold shoulder like others, but didn't.

I'm not surprised if he hates me for treating Rosé like I did and I also didn't give a good first impression to him. He even once saved Rosé from my attack.

Does that mean he likes her?

Just thinking about broke me completely, I choked on my tear. Of course, he'll like her, she's smart, tall, well mannered. She has everything a guy wants.

I stood up from my bed.

I can't take this pain anymore.

I walked to my bathroom and opened the cabinet, I thought after meeting Taehyung I'll never have to use this again but here I am.

I looked at the sharp object then slowly brought it towards my wrist and slide it across my skin, over and over again. I didn't stop until I was satisfied.

I stopped crying like I wanted to but there was still that dull ache in my heart, I feel like dying.

Somebody, please take this pain away from me, please. I beg you.

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The next day when I went to school, Rosé was there. Everyone was surprised by seeing her, rumors had spread that she left the school because of me but here she is. I felt hope, I so badly wanted to just go and apologize to her but I couldn't.

First, I didn't know what to say, words seem to be stuck at the tip of my tongue, I couldn't move, I would always freeze.

Second, Jimin won't leave her sight, he was like attached to her hip. I wanted to talk to her alone but it was impossible because Jimin made sure no one approached her.

What should I do now?

I feel so hopeless.

Just when I want to make things right, everything is going against me.

That just made me feel even worse. I started cutting daily after school, I barely eat, just taking a bite of something makes me want to throw up, I couldn't sleep because I kept having nightmares.

I couldn't concentrate on my lessons, whether it was in the library or his house, I would just blankly look at the paper, my mind somewhere else while he would teach me, I felt bad for wasting his time but I just can't help myself.

I'm useless.

Taehyung has also noticed my behavior but I would always make excuses which he seems to buy them.

A week has past and all of this was taking a toll on me. There are dark circles under my eyes, I have gotten thinner.

As I was walking towards his living room, my eyesight got blurred and I blinked a few times to clear my vision but nothing happened, I couldn't see anything so I stumbled, my head started spinning and I cradled my head with my hand.

"Jennie!" Before I could fall, Taehyung caught me. I kept my eyes close for a few seconds and when I opened them, my vision was clear, though I still felt lightheaded. "Are you okay?" He asked, worry lacing his tune. I would have smiled at his concern but I could barely focus on myself at the moment.

I shook my head, there was no denying that I wasn't okay. His arm wrapped around my waist while his other arm was wrapped under my knees, before I knew it, he was already carrying me somewhere.

Shocked at the sudden movement, I gasped, but I was just too tired to argue.

I placed my head on his shoulder and didn't protest. To be honest, I felt safe in his arms, safe from the world's cruelty, safe from the demons inside me, he was like my savior.

He is my savior.

I was placed on something soft and soon the warmth left me, making me open my eyes.

He stood up and turned to leave, before I know it, I mumbled unconscious, "Stay." I tugged at his sleeve, he turned and looked at me. "I'm not leaving anywhere, just rest," he said with a soft smile and sat beside me, with that said, I fell asleep knowing I'm somewhere safe.

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I fluttered my eyes open then blinked a few times to adjust my vision. I look around and saw as he was still sitting beside me in the same place.

He was holding my cold hand in his warm one's. I slowly sat up and he held my hand tighter like I would go away any moment. He looked at me dead in the eyes and the emotion in his eyes had me confused, they were sad, hurt, and......disappointment?

What he did next had my heart sinking.

He rolled my sleeve up which showed my old and new scars.

"You did this to yourself......from the start, didn't you?" I quickly looked away, I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"I deserve it," I say quietly and didn't look at him once. He grabbed my chin and asked, "Who said that?"

"I did, I deserve it!" I said a bit loud, breathing a bit heavily.

"No, you don—" I cut him off by shaking my head, "No, you don't understand, I deserve this! I heard everything that day when Jimin came, he is right, I don't deserve you.

"I know what I did was wrong, so wrong of me, and now I want to redeem my mistake, I want to apologize to Rosé but I don't know how, I'm scared, Tae. I won't be surprised if you also hate me, you should hate me, I'm not the person you should be hanging out with, everything I do causes trouble, I...I..... j-just can't do this anymore...." My voice cracked at the end.

While I was talking Taehyung just sat there with a shocked expression and when I stopped speaking, his eyes softened and his thumb brushed against my cheek.

I'm crying?

I didn't even realize it, I quickly wiped my tears but they won't stop. No one has ever seen me crying but here he is, he saw me.

"Y-You d-don't have t-to continue this session, I-I understand if y—" I was cut off by him wrapping his hand behind my head and pulling it against his chest.

I tried to push him because I didn't want to appear weak in front of him, but he only tightened his grip, one arm around my waist and the other behind my head. My attempts failed and I let him because honestly, this is what I really wanted.

This is the comfort that I always wanted, I didn't feel lonely anymore, I felt safe and warm like home.

I have been bottling up my emotions and not crying had taken a toll on me, the tears just won't stop flowing, I cried hard while clenching his shirt.

"Just let it out, don't hold back." And I did what he said, I let out all my emotions, sorrow, anger, annoyance, regret, heartache.

Once I calmed down, we remained in the same position for a while until my sniffles calmed down.

He pulled back a bit and cupped my face, wiping my tears then made me look at him, "I don't hate you, I can never hate you and don't worry, I will help you apologize to Rosé, you're not alone in this, you have me, I will be there with you."

Tears formed in my eyes but this time it was happy tears, I'm happy that I met Taehyung, if it wasn't for him I don't know what I would have done.

"But one condition," He said, making me look at him curiously.

"You won't ever do this again."

I gulped and he gave me pleading eyes, "Please." Now he sounds desperate and I can't help but nod.

"If you need someone to talk to, I'm always here."

I didn't know if it was possible to fall this hard.

I suddenly jumped on him, wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. It seems that he was shocked by my sudden action but soon after he wrapped his arms around me, making me close my eyes in content.

I felt him lightly kiss my hair and I melted.

I don't want this moment to end.

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Hello guys!

So, what do you guys think about this chapter?

Jennie admitted to herself that she is falling for Tae.

What do you think about Jennie after this chapter?

I hope you enjoyed it.

Thanks for reading.