- for round one of The houses competition on FF.net-

House - Ravenclaw
Subject - Muggle Studies
Category - Drabble
Prompt [object] - Motorbike
Word Count - 992
Disclaimers/triggers - Mild Language

"Oh, you can't be serious."

"But I am Si—" Sirius began, smirking cheekily at Remus, pearly-white teeth on display for the whole group to see. Remus tried not to audibly sigh, and James looked like he was about to piss himself from all the excitement. Peter was apparently more invested in what Marlene McKinnon was doing, as she and Dorcas were sneaking around the opposite side of the motorbike, wands in hand, up to no good.

"It's almost like you're asking to get hurt," Lily sighed, and Remus nodded in agreement, arms crossed sternly and feeling awfully like McGonagall, Remus just hoped that he wasn't going to turn into a cat anytime soon. He figured that the werewolf within him wouldn't have appreciated that.

Sirius scoffed and picked up his helmet from the ground, (which had been lovingly vandalised by James, who had drawn some amazingly detailed female anatomy on the top of the helmet with a permanent sticking spell.)

"Nice helmet," James smirked, clearly proud of his handiwork.
"Nice haircut," Sirius quipped and James immediately grabbed his hair protectively, a look of pure anxiety splashing across his face whilst Lily tried not to snort at him.

"What about my haircut? You said you liked it!" His eyes darted to Lily beside him, "Lily, don't laugh, you're supposed to be on my side!" James whined, his girlfriend now failing to contain her giggles.

"I never said I was on your side, being your girlfriend doesn't mean I have to like you," Lily said teasingly, flipping her auburn hair over her shoulder with a sassy smirk.
"That's like, the whole point of you being my girlfriend!" James exclaimed, arms flailing wildly as Lily smiled in victory, always happy to wind up James.
"Right, Prongs, we've established that your girlfriend doesn't like you—" Sirius began.
"Oh shut up, you leather-wearing loser!" James said pathetically, and Remus shook his head at the two, too busy worrying about the deathtrap in front of them.

"Pads you are not riding that motorbike," Remus said sternly, interrupting the group's bickering.
"Good thing that I'm flying the bike then," Sirius answered smartly, clipping the vandalised helmet onto his head. Remus felt faint. Fly?
"Fly?" Remus voiced aloud nervously, watching Sirius swing his leg around the bike, gripping the bars, his brand new leather gloves protecting his aristocratic hands. He knew that Sirius was mental. However, Remus had to draw the line at flying motorbikes, he just had to.

"Fly? Can I come, Sirius? Oh pretty please. pleaseeee!" James said, practically jumping for joy, reminding Remus of an overexcited puppy.
"James Fleamont Potter, you are going absolutely nowhere near that thing," Lily reprimanded, grabbing James by the collar and pulling him back. James's shoulders sank but a cocky smile quickly appeared on his face.
"I knew it, you do like me!" James smiled, kissing Lily on the cheek. Lily smiled despite herself and shrugged her shoulders, "Isn't that the whole point of being your girlfriend?" Lily teased, reiterating James's own words back to him.

Peter, (who had been suspiciously quiet during this whole charade) started to speak.
"Pads, I think—"
"Sirius get off of that motorbike, you aren't flying it," Remus barged in, suddenly panicked at the sound of the bike's engine being magically turned on with Sirius's wand.
"Sorry Moons, I can't hear you over the engine," Sirius lied, shouting comically loud whilst pulling on the handlebars and letting the motorbike give out a satisfying roar as it came to life. If Remus hadn't been so mad at Sirius, he would've appreciated how beautiful he looked. Wearing his ridiculously well-worn jacket and matching gloves, helmet on and looking too good to be true. Even so, he would have never admitted this aloud.

"Pads, I wouldn't—" Peter began again, pointing to the side of the motorbike that wasn't facing the group, as he watched Marlene and Dorcas sneak off, giggling like two schoolgirls at a Weird Sisters concert.
"Can't hear you, Pete, I'm too badass," Sirius said, winking at Remus before pulling down the visor of the helmet and kicking the motorbike into action. Remus's stomach lurched as he watched Sirius head onto the make-shift runway, the magically adjusted motorbike looking majestic as it sped along the dirt track, heading towards the trees.

Lily (who looked just as sick as Remus felt), grabbed Remus's clammy hand and gripped it, muttering to Remus and saying, "Holy mother of God, Rem, he's going to crash."
Remus felt utterly frozen as he watched Sirius and his noble steed sped towards the end of the track, his imminent crash into the thick trees sending Remus's mind spiralling. He gripped Lily's hand and sent a haphazard prayer to whatever god was listening.

However, to the surprise (and relief) of everyone, the bike started to ascend, roaring up and off of the ground, skimming the tops of the trees with its thick tires as Sirius was brought higher and higher into the air. Everyone on the ground cheered, Remus hollering and jumping up and down with Lily as James went utterly crazy, yelling victoriously at his brother in the sky.
"He did it! The idiot actually did it!" James screamed.

Sirius was clearly over pleased with himself, zooming around in the air happily, not noticing anything amiss as he turned the bike around, showing the opposite side of the motorbike in the air. Everyone started to cackle with laughter, seeing that the left side was now a glittery pink, the large sparkly letters spelling:

Sirius Black, The most arrogant tosser in the sky!

So when Sirius descended, feeling rather chuffed as he perfected his landing, pulling off his helmet, he was extremely shocked to see all of his friends laughing at him.

"What'd I miss?" Sirius asked obliviously.
"Why don't we ask you, Mr Tosser of the sky?" Lily smiled, and Sirius checked the side of his motorbike, seeing white as he read the text.

"MARLENEEE!"