another curse word lmao

sorry for the curse words down there, I removed the vowels ofc

well, some of it

BEFORE YOU READ.

PLEASE BE REMINDED THAT WE ALL LOVE JOSHUA HONG, OK?

-chiro (I have so many nicknames for myself istg)
__________

"TODAY IS THE FREAKING DAY THAT I'M GOING TO SEE A RETARDED SLUTTY CRAYON-EATING PENCIL NECK COUGAR OMG I'M SO READY," Seungkwan stared at the full body mirror in my room.

Joshua's been discharged already, and the two boys said they'd visit him at home, since it's a holiday today.

Daein is...of course, with Joshua. And since Josh is my neighbor, Woozi and Boo stayed in my house for a while

we were inside my bedroom. Seungkwan, Woozi and I, the so called "Roast wizards"

Seungkwan hurriedly pulled out a long ass list from his bag

"What the hell is that?" Jihoon hissed

"A long checklist, can you read it loud for me, Minseul so I can check if i'm ready,"

"Oh....sure," I grabbed it and started reading. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped to the ground, "What the hell?"

"Just do it," he said, checking himself out on the mirror

"Toothbrush,"

"Check!"

"A bottle of...holy water?"

"Check!" he raised the bottle up

"Hand sanitizer with...strawberry scent,"

"Got it!"

"air freshener!?"

"here!" he smiled as he showed it to me

"Gloves and three rolls of tissue,"

"Check!"

"Extra clothes and curling iron. What do you need these for!?" I chuckled at his craziness, "lucky charm,"

"Check!"

"face mask,"

"Check!"

"sunblock?"

"Check!"

The list went on and I swear it's all the crazy stuff Seungkwan could think of. It's just a freaking visit!

"Last, Ouija board....WHAT DO YOU NEED THIS FOR?"

"Shush Minseul I know what i'm doing,"

Seungkwan was all dressed up in black, Woozi and I were dressed well, but not much

It's just a "visit"

"Why all black though?" Woozi asked

"Because today will be her funeral. I SPOKES TO DA DEAD," he shouted in english

"Your english is horrible," Jihoon laughed at him

"You, Jihoon? did you bring anything?" I questioned the other boy

"Just my guitar, nothing else," he shrugged. Jihoon is so chill. I like it

"WOOOOOH!" Seungkwan danced excitedly

"Don't get too hyped, there's nothing good about seeing her today," Jihoon kept strumming his precious guitar

"Yeah, we're all going there to visit Josh, not Daein," I told them

"Of course checking up on hyung is my priority!" Seungkwan defended himself

"You're too excited about Daein, you might fall for her," Jihoon told the cheeky boy

"Excuse me? low quality and high quality?" he started speaking in english again, making me laugh my lungs out my system

"Stop speaking english!" Jihoon looked annoyed

"I'm going to sing Slutty U for her," Seungkwan smiled, "Hyung we gotta be a duo!"

"KwanZi!" Seungkwan posed

"Sounds like gaysht," Jihoon rolled his eyes

"Infinite H!" he suggested

"How original,"

"Twoteen?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" I laughed so hard I almost died

"Sometimes I question myself if you're an educated son of a gun," Jihoon facepalmed

"I was joking, I got that from seok," he winked

"Are we going to visit them or not?" Jihoon asked me. I lay down on my bed

"Just go, I'm too lazy and i'm sick of Daein's face,"

"Come on seul! It'll be fun!" Seungkwan jumped excitedly

"Actually, it won't," Jihoon hissed before smiling, "IT'LL BE SUPER FUN!" they did a high five and started singing 'Slutty U'

"Joshua and Daein might hear you guys, they're just in the next house," I laughed

"But we're just singing, it's her fault if she's a butthurt cougar," Seungkwan reasoned out

they are literally the two meanest meanies in the entire universe

"What does she look like?" Seungkwan asked

"Ain't gonna spoil it for you," Jihoon smiled at the boy

"Let's just go," I grabbed their ears and dragged them out the room

___________

"JOSHUA HYUNG JOSHUA HYUNG LET DOWN YOUR HAIR!" Seungkwan shouted, looking up at Joshua's bedroom window

"He ain't Jeonghan hyung," Woozi shrugged

As soon as Seungkwan checked his shoes for a bit, Daein looked out from the window.

"Daein," I muttered

"WHERE!?" Seungkwan looked up, and the girl was gone already

"Where's your btch sensor now?" Woozi laughed

The front door flew open, revealing the girl we've all been waiting for

Joshua's mom

"Good day Mrs. Hong!" Jihoon greeted

"Oh hello, children!" she looked happy to see us, "Come in, Joshua's resting upstairs with Daein,"

As soon as we reached Joshua's room, Jihoon lightly knocked on the door

"Hello!" Daein cheered as soon as the door flew open. Seungkwan just coughed out loud and wore his face mask

"Oh Jihoon op-" Daein wasn't able to finish because Jihoon just walked straight in without greeting

"Hi Minseul unnie! And Seungkwan oppa, are you sick?" she tried to put her hand on Boo's forehead to check his temperature

but Seungkwan sprayed air freshener on her face

I was so damn surprised

"My eyes!" Daein shrieked and covered her eyes. Boo started his acting skills

"I'm sorry!!"

"My eyes hurt!"

"Sorry! that's how we greet people in Jeju!" Boo held my wrist and barged right in, smiling like there's no tomorrow

I saw Jihoon smirking. He was exchanging devilish smiles with Boo. Joshua was asleep, so the boys thought they could do everything

"It smells like btch in here!" Seungkwan started spraying air freshener everywhere

"Smells like what?" Daein asked

"Fish!"

Seungkwan almost emptied the spray can, and it was annoying the girl so much that she kept sneezing

"Oppa that's enough!" she coughed

"He's a clean freak," I shrugged "Just so you know,"

Daein sneezed again

"Geez can't you be clean for once?" Seungkwan rolled his eyes

"Oppa, Minseul unnie said you were dying to meet me," Daein smiled, I saw the disgust in Seungkwan's expression

"I'd rather die than meet you," Seungkwan told her.

"Joke," he added and let out a fake smile at the girl. Daein looked offended, but of course she has to stay sweet

"Just add a joke and it's all okay," Jihoon muttered, laughing

"Yes I did want to meet you," Boo nodded, making the girl smile

"So what do you do often?"

"I roast a lot," Seungkwan answered, making Jihoon and I prevent ourselves from laughing

"You like eating?"

"Ye-"

"No, she doesn't," I cut her off "She said it leads to obesity, and boys hate fat girls," I added

"Is that so?" Seungkwan asked

"Of course unnie was kidding, you're so funny min-"

"I wasn't joking," I shrugged

The girl stared at me, looking like she'll blow up any second now

"Excuse me," She stood up and left the room. The three of us started laughing silently

"How does she look?" I asked Seungkwan

"Her face resolution is so low it's just 144p!" Boo answered

"Level one is completed," Jihoon chuckled

"If she comes back i'll roast her crusty ass more," Seungkwan hissed

"Won't hyung hear us?"

"Does it matter?" Seungkwan snapped his fingers "We're just being friendly with his future main hoe,"

"Hyung is so unlucky," Woozi sat back

"Shit happens," I hissed "I mean, just look at Daein's face and you'll understand,"

the door opened once again and and Daein walked in like a model, Jihoon coughed out loud once she sat down

"Daein do you like our Pretty U performance?" Seungkwan interviewed

"Yes, Minseul unnie said you guys performed it for her,"

"We did," Jihoon spat back "The whole song was for Minseul,"

"Oh....really?"

"Yes, it contains all the words Soonyoung hyung wanted to tell her, all bottled up in a song," Seungkwan bragged

these boys, really

Daein's grip on the pillow she was holding is getting tighter and tighter.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked

"Yes unnie I just feel butterflies in my stomach,"

"It's not healthy to eat caterpillars," Seungkwan shook his head. I laughed out loud but then I covered my face

"You're so dumb it's funny" Daein just snapped at Seungkwan

"There's an app called sense of humor, I think you should download it," Jihoon intervened

these boys are slaying her so much, I love it

"Excuse me? Will you stop acting like douchebags for once?" She started to become annoyed

"We're just being friendly,"

"Friendly your face, it's obvious that you guys are trying to insult me, trust me, I know everything,"

"We're not trying to throw insults at tou, you're just catching them yourself," I told her. She rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers

"Kill yourself, Minslut,"

"I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it! Continue while I take down notes," I was about to grab a paper when she threw her shoe, hitting my hand

Jihoon suddenly spoke, "How dare you, btch?"

"Wow oppa chill," Daein winked at her, "You're so hot when you're mad, especially when you curse," she licked her lips

"Do I look like I give a sht about what the fck you think about me?" Jihoon blew up "Since you said that you know everything, you should know when to shut the fck up!"

"Jihoon!" Joshua was awake already

"Oppa!" Daein ran to his bed, "Jihoon oppa is very very scary!" she started crying

"Ssshhh it's okay," The boy comforted, our eyes met and he just got angrier

"Why are you here?" Joshua asked me

"Me?"

"I don't need any of Soonyoung's trash in my room," he gritted his teeth

"What happened to you, Jisoo?" I questioned

"If you hate this so called Soonyoung trash, hyung I'm afraid you'll lose every member of seventeen," Jihoon defended, "We're all fanboys of that talented boy, so that makes us trash too,"

"Hyung, forgive me but you know that jerk store across town? I think they're running out of Joshua Hongs in there," Seungkwan told him

"Get out of my house," Joshua gritted his teeth and stood up"GET OUT YOU USELESS PIECES OF TRASH!"

"Joshua hyung you define bullsht!" Jihoon shouted and he suddenly got punched by the older one, making me run and slap Joshua myself

"You're horrible," I told him, but then he got up and hit my face

"HEY!" Seungkwan yelled and shoved his hyung, kicking him "I swear, this time, you're going down with your hoe,"

"JUST GET OUT!" Daein intervened and pushed Seungkwan away

"Don't fcking touch me!" Seungkwan sprayed air freshener on her face again "Geez you have more issues than Vogue magazine," he hissed as all of us left the room

"What a dck," Jihoon looked annoyed asf. I examined his face and it's already bruised

"I'll fcking wait for Hoshi hyung to beat that asshole up,"

____________

sorry if it was lame hoho

WE STILL LOVE JISOO <3 WE ALL LOVE HIM

kbyeilu

-jiweo