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A few minutes later, the boys went back to the third floor, to have dinner. I told them I wasn't hungry. And I'm actually glad they didn't force me to head downstairs this time.

"Hoshi," I called

"Yes?"

"I don't want to grow up, ever," I spoke, "I want everything to stay this way,"

"But you know that's impossible, right?"

I nodded my head as a response and looked up again, admiring the beauty of the night.

"I want to live," I muttered, earning a glare from the boy beside me

"Aren't you alive right now?"

"No, I want to live and not simply exist,"

"Then run away with me," he smiled and ran his fingers through my hair, undoing the strings Jun tied to fix my hair

"Hey Jun did that for me," I whined

"I can do better than that," he shrugged, "I know this may sound crazy, or even cheesy, but I can be your lost boy," he said. And in that moment, our eyes met.

"Huh?"

"Forget it," he chuckled, "Just the silly thoughts of an airhead," he hit his head lightly before laughing again, making his eyes look smaller than their actual size

Hoshi's impact on my life is just so massive, I couldn't even put the exact words together to explain how much I would've loved it if he entered my life earlier.

But as they say, people come and go. I just hope he's not one of those.

"You think a lot," he mumbled, causing me to fix my eyes at him

"How come?"

"I don't know, you tend to pause a lot and stare at empty spaces," he shrugged, "That probably means you're thinking of something. Are you bothered?"

"No, but you're right, I do think a lot about everything," I let out a deep sigh

"Let yourself live the moment, silly," he knocked lightly on my head. I took another deep breath and closed my eyes, "Don't worry about what'll happen soon. Just make sure every second counts and you'll be fine,"

"Do you really think so?"

"Oh I know so," he nodded and burst out laughing. I couldn't help but smile whenever his expression lits up like that

"Hey, you two!" Seungcheol called. Both of us turned our heads to look at him

"You're not going home!?" he yelled

"Give us a little more time!" The boy next to me yelled back

"Do you still need me to accompany you home?" Hoshi whispered to me

"I can go home with Joshua," I answered. The boy pouted and looked disappointed. I know how much he wanted me to say 'yes' but I ended up telling him the opposite

"You have to stay safe, okay?" he assured, "Stay close to him all the time. But not as close at this," he moved closer, making an inch of empty space between us

"You get that?"

"Okay boss,"

He stood up and helped me get up as well. When I did, I looked up one more time at the night sky.

"You made my night better," he cupped my face with his hands, "You have to go straight home, and no ditching, okay?"

"I sure will,"

"Good girl," he chuckled

"Only for you?" I hesitated to say. It made him burst out laughing again

"Your flirting level is still too low, Minseul," he said, giggling

What does he know about flirting tho? I don't even think he's an expert with it.

"Because I'm not a flirt," I stuck my tongue out, "Unlike you,"

"That's rude," he pinched my nose and stepped closer, placing his mouth near my left ear

"I want you, Minseul,"

His voice literally sent chills to run down my spine. I felt electrocuted for bit, hearing his voice turn slightly different. A bit deeper, I think.

".....Soonyoung what the hell are you talking about?" I playfully punched him

"Oh I'm sorry, did that make you want me more?" he grinned like an idiot, "See? That's what I call flirting. Soonyoung style,"

"I call it harassment," I crossed my arms

"Because it's so amazing you almost thought it was real stuff," he blabbed nonstop, "Admit it, you liked it hmm?"

"Why would I like harassment?"

"It's not harassment!" he stomped his foot like a kid, "Do you want me to do it again?"

"No thanks, I don't want to throw up," I answered, walking away from him. He caught up, stopping me

"What do you want now?" I questioned

"You,"

I rolled my eyes and let go of him.

"Heeey don't let go, let me hold your hand!"

"Hoshi, you're not Lee Hi, so please shut up,"

We headed downstairs, where the boys are.

"Minseul, will you go home with me?" Joshua interrogated. I nodded my head as a response

Hoshi squished my cheeks before I was able to leave the house,

"Goodnight," he smiled

"Sure, goodnight,"

I walked with Joshua all the way from Seungcheol's house to the bus stop. The air was filled with awkward silence because we decided to keep our mouths shut for the moment.

I was quite surprised when he broke the silence

"I'm sorry,"  he mumbled, but it was loud enough for me to hear what he said.

"No, i'm actually the one who needs to say sorry,"

"Let's never do that again," he huffed and looked down as we walked

"No arguments?"

"Yes, no arguments,"

Silence took over the two of us again. This time, it was less awkward. I have to get used to this kind of buttoned up atmosphere. the whist air between us, just because Joshua is a little tight-lipped boy.

unlike Hoshi, the slick and chatty type.

I fixed my eyes on the coming bus. I sure hope it's roomy enough for us. When it stopped, both of us hopped in and took our seats.

Nothing changed, Joshua is still silent as ever.

"Josh, are you mad?"

"No,"

"Okay,"

It makes me feel bad that he doesn't talk much this time. I don't like it when one of those boys is down.

I love them all. Yes, love is a very strong word. A word that most people act like they know about it. Are they not aware that love fears being understood?

People think a lot about love, and their obsession with it is getting out of hand. It's not just about growing up and looking forward to who your partner will be. We don't live in a society just to make our minds pinned to the thought that love is a necessity in life. Because it's not.

I'd rather have those thirteen boys with me than get stuck, believing that love is the most powerful thing on earth.

It's a different kind of love that i have with all thirteen of them, and I like it better than the kind of feeling people fascinate about.

It's definitely something that a strong bond of friendship has.

Sometimes, the greatest love stories aren't just about two people and their unbroken ties. It's about a bunch of people enjoying every drop of time they have together.

I turned my head to look over the boy, seeing him staring out the window with his lonely eyes which struck mine with guilt.

I feel so sorry, and guilty

"As long as he takes care of you, it's fine with me," he muttered

"What does that even mean?"

"I'm letting go," he looked at me, "It may take some time to move on, but don't blame yourself,"

"Letting go?"

[A/N: lowkey promoting day6 here. listen to letting go :') especially when you're sad, it's a good emo song pfft]

"Yes, I let go. So you won't end up thinking too much about me," he smiled

"But that'll just make me blame myself more!"

"Then don't blame yourself. Because it makes me sad. Let's be happy for each other,"

"But...."

"I'll still teach you math, don't worry,"

"Is this about Soonyoung again?"

"Everything about this is about Soonyoung too," he replied, "Just go ahead and answer him already,"

"But he's not even trying to court me or anything,"

"He will, soon," Joshua nodded, "Trust me. I know how a boy acts,"

you're a saint tho. ugh how am I supposed to deal with this?

"Oh, I haven't greeted you yet," I scratched my head, "Congratulations on your first win as seventeen,"

"Congratulations too," he grinned

"For what?"

"For getting reunited with Seungkwan," he chuckled, "You guys were so loud that night, shouting and shouting. I couldn't sleep,"

"I'm sorry," I covered my face

"It was cute though," he looked away, "You guys are definitely friendship goals. I'm sure everyone would get envious of that kind of bond,"

"Not you and the others though,"

we ended up telling each other some random stories while we were on the way home. it was a bit relaxing, knowing that Joshua is quite okay now

when we reached the stop, we jumped off and headed to our own homes, waving at each other.

he said he would go to school early tomorrow, and that if I wanted to go with him, I should send him a message.

I don't even feel like going to school tomorrow, it sure is tiring. But there's a school program, for sure. and the boys will perform again for those who failed to watch the competition today.

and that's when I remembered, Dongyeol.

Geez, Up10tion must be so mad at me right now. It's not my fault if Seventeen's performance was better!

[A/N: i'm not trying to bash Up10tion okaaay? I love them all sgsksvamavsnvsnsjs]

Plus, if they didn't show me their dance practice, it would be more exciting to watch it in the competition.

They ranked second though, I think that's okay. For the audience's choice, they won first. But on the judges' grading sheet, Seventeen is first.

Close fight.

I love the judges now agdjsvmavsmdhsm

I threw myself on the bed and watched their performance again on the camera. The whole stage is seriously bright. And the colors of their clothes match a bit.

I miss Jihoon's strawberry look. But he's still cute as ever.

I still think Hansol looks best in the performance. He definitely looked like he just aged backwards and i'm digging his new hairstyle.

Halfway through the performance, my camera shut down

"That was Seungcheol's rap part!" I whined and shook my camera. Whatever, it's not like it'll listen to me anyway.

I placed it on my desk, leaving it to charge.

ugh man, I wonder when will those boys bring the sofa back

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