cheol got more votes. so here you go

-jiro
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as policemen barged in the room, i ran out to get to the rooftop. the last thing i heard was soonyoung calling my name. my feet took me all the way upstairs until i reached for the rooftop door and busted it open. cold wind started to brush through my skin as i stepped out, and there at the edge, i saw a girl standing.

"JIWOO!"

she looked back, and started to wipe her tears off. i walked a little closer to her, telling her to not do anything suddenly. and as i told her to be calm, my heart was almost pumping out of its system. i held out my hand to reach her, thinking that she would take it and safely get back down.

"no, thank you," she muttered

"jiwoo, i know you did a lot to me that really fucked things up but time can heal all that!" i replied "don't do this!"

she continued to cry, "if i live, would you love me? would anyone do? no, right?"

"we didn't see the bigger picture before, jiwoo," i sighed "we can't blame you for what you were shaped into. you're just a victim, like all of us."

"remember what seungkwan said? i dug the hole. i should bury myself in it."

"he didn't—"

"remember what jihoon said? that i'm a mistake?"

"please don't—"

"minseul, you and your friends think that just speaking shit could drive one person away, and then it'll all be okay," she said "have you ever thought about the aftermath? there's not always a happy ending. most especially is you try to solve things in an unpleasant way."

a familiar voice called me, and i quickly look back. it was soonyoung. "hold on! jiwoo don't kill yourself!" he shouted, out of breath while running towards us. "your dad is caught! it can all be solved now. we'll get you into therapy, we'll help you recover!"

the girl laughed, "you're all suddenly so kind to me. why? because you feel bad?"

"listen," soonyoung answered "we all did something we regret, said words that made everything worse, but hey, in the end we still have room for forgiveness!"

"i don't," jiwoo took a step back "i can't even forgive myself, day by day. how do i learn to forgive others?"

"well..." soonyoung ran out of words to say. and to be honest i got nothing to answer as well. but jarring a person's mind for a moment may buy me more time to react and prevent her from following through with a jump. i have to say something. "jiwoo, at least give yourself a good time, please," i told her "you've been through a lot and you don't deserve this!"

jiwoo stopped crying, and face started to become calm. which is a sign that she had already decided, and that she's ready to jump off.

"you will jump and there are 25% chances of survival with brain damage and paralysed body parts. jiwoo, you don't want that. do you, honey?" i cried "you have to think and choose between going down from there to get hope and saved or a live paralyzed and still afraid. hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

"...minseul."

"there are people who care, even strangers who care enough. do you see the people down there? they're hoping and praying for you to be saved. you just need to step back from and think through what you are doing," i told her "and if you're scared to get down from there, i will help."

"you know chan, right?" i added, wiping my tears off, "i dealt with him for two times. no matter how much he wanted to give up, i just told him that It's okay to cry, scream, pour his heart out. same goes for you. it will help you grow but once you stop, stop forever. you need to find new things to cry about and not waste tears on statements that don't define who you are. this moment is nowhere near okay but do you feel me letting you go?

she shook her head

"even if I encounter a part of you that I cannot possibly understand, jiwoo, i won't let go."

"but i have made myself clear," she muttered "i want to die."

soonyoung shut his eyes and hugged me tight when jiwoo slowly turned around to jump. "i will miss 2ji," she bitterly chuckled "even if you didn't really like that name."

she takes a step

and another

and another

"wait!!" i shouted. the girl craned her neck to my direction, looking at me worryingly. i was stuttering, but i continued to go on with the last things i wanted to say, "d-do you remember y-your movie reviews, jiwoo?"

her expression softened, and she nodded

"big fish...life is beautiful, the pursuit of happyness," i closed my eyes and cried, trying to enumerate whatever i can remember from her favorite movies, "up, after the storm— all the movies you reviewed, and all the movies fifteen year old jiwoo would just go ahead and watch whenever she feels sad and lonely. do you remember those? the movies that make you feel alive?"

she nodded and started to cry again

"can you talk to me about life is beautiful for the last time before you end everything?"

"the father and his son, joshua are loaded into a train, and the dad tries to turn the whole holocaust into a game to comfort his son. he makes an elaborate fiction to protect joshua. he hides the him from the camp guards, with rules of the game to have the kid crouch on a high sleeping platform and remain absolutely still so no one would see," she muttered "like what my review said, it is not about the nazis, but mainly about the human spirit. about rescuing whatever is good and hopeful from the wreckage of dreams......about hope for the future, the necessary human conviction, or delusion, that things will be better for everyone."

jiwoo continued to shed tears, and she covered her face as she tried to crouch down and sit on the ledge. i untangled soonyoung's arms around me and walked close to jiwoo again to help her get down from there.

and surprisingly, she caught my hand.

the girl was shaking in so much fear as i held her tightly in my arms. minghao and the others, along with two policemen came to check up on us. the boys all looked extremely tired and worried. even seungkwan was in tears. we were accompanied back to the ground floor, and jiwoo didn't let go of me. she was still shaking and crying once we reached the ambulance.

wonwoo placed his hand on my shoulder, "great job with the psychological trick you used back there."

"y-yeah, it took me a while to think of it though."

"no worries, i'm sure it was pressuring. you were both brave," he muttered "seungcheol and mingyu are in the hospital. they're okay, according to joshua. jeonghan barged in there, worried sick and crying as soon as chan texted him about what happened. things went a bit rough though. if jiwoo did die, the two members might have died as well."

"is that how the voodoo works?"

"yes. you didn't just save a life. you saved three."

i noticed that jiwoo was weakly reaching out to the hamster plush toy that wonwoo was holding. "let me just do something please," she muttered, and held bongbongie for a bit, trying to find something inside it. when she felt something, she pulled it out and it was quite a huge needle stuck inside the plush. she handed it back to wonwoo and the boy thanked him.

"i'm sorry," she apologized to me "i'm never going to do such things again. i'll get into therapy, right? there's hope?"

"after your medications and therapy sessions," i muttered "how does 2ji sound?"

the girl's facial expression changed into a brighter one, and she nodded, "thank you. and tell seungkwan that i'm not getting trycoxagain during the sessions!" she joked.

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yall got played with the cheol or mingyu thing HAHAHAHA it was fun to see yall freaking out. don't hate me. cheol having more votes means jiwoo would be saved. if mingyu had more, jiwoo would die. that's just it. nothing's gonna happen to the two, i just wanted yall to freak out HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU

also, as someone who had suicide attempts before, this made me emo lmhao. i just wish there was someone who could tell me all the things minseul told jiwoo. those were the things i wanted to hear, (and i can't lie, i still feel the need to hear those) at times when i'm "on edge" and even if like, i'm okay at the moment. it's dangerous because honestly, the thought of killing myself is still there. to those who feel like it's the end, your problems and suicidal thoughts don't make you weak. it's a symptom of an illness, just like chest pains for heart disease. jennifer sladden says, when we experience symptoms, it's time to seek help, regardless of the disease. y'all know i have heart problems, and chest pains don't make a heart patient weak or bad, so neither do any of your thoughts. live!! on!! i love you uwu

sincerely,
jiro