don't eat tide pods if y'all don't wanna end up in a hospital like me. jk. take care of your respiratory system and stay hydrated. dw about me, i'm fine, this happened before.

getting sent to a hospital is completely normal for me. i get sent to one whenever kwon soonyoung breathes which is like, all the fucking time and i got no problem with that.

for real though, take care of yourself.
and warning: very long and lame chapter ahead.

-jeero
_____________

i couldn't sleep well. just like what happened at the hospital, i kept waking up even though there's nothing to wake up to. soonyoung slept on the futon on the ground beside the bed and yet he gets sleep better than i do. i turn my back and buried my face on the pillow and that's when i heard a knock. i grabbed the clock on the side table. what the hell? it's only 3 in the morning! seungkwan told me we'll meet at 4am.

"minseul can you get the door please?" soonyoung mumbled as he slept. i sighed and rolled off the covers. i grabbed whoever's coat was hanging on the door and slipped into it as i walked to the front door.

"hello!" seungkwan greeted. i let out a deep sigh once i heard his voice. beside him was a sleepy jihoon who could barely keep his eyes open. i turned on the lights to the living room and lay down the couch.

"what happened to 4 in the morning?" i muttered

"well, i figured out that we should watch you practice how to make the bomb for later!"

"what bomb?"

"the plan!!!" boo cheered and i groaned again

"isn't it too early for this?"

"nothing's too early for dry ice bombs, minseul. let's go!" he skipped to the kitchen where all the dry ice was kept while jihoon went straight to the bedroom to sleep on my bed. it's okay though, i don't really mind. i lazily walked like a zombie towards boo who just placed the dry ice on the counter. then he took a hammer out of his bag and started smashing the ice.

"woah woah woah!" i stopped him "it's too early for noises, soonyoung already received a noise complaint from his neighbors that one time seokmin did karaoke in here!"

"oh did he?" boo asked

"yes, now chill with the noise. and why do you have a hammer in your bag?"

"i'm always ready, minseul, ready to smash daein's face with a hammer," he replied "where's wooji though?"

"bedroom."

"that little bitch. i told him to stay awake."

seungkwan and i went to the back part of the house where i demonstrated the preparation of the dry ice bomb. i don't even know what for, and i'm surely not gonna do it in soonyoung's house because dry ice bombs can be really dangerous and loud as fuck. after assuring him that i know how to do it, we went back to the living room to talk about the plan. he showed me the map again.

"at 8am, the venue will be filled with students," he told me "then around 9:15, it will be seventeen's turn to perform. after that, two more groups will follow. while the rest of the groups are on stage, all of us must be where we are on this map."

"what are the shapes for?"

"the purple triangles are the spots where guards will be. then the green circles are the loudest speakers nearest to the venue," he explained "all the dry ice will be kept near the trees by the pool. we're gonna drop it there early. once we're all out, i'm going to stay by the sound system room and talk to the guard there while hansol and jihoon distract the others so you and wonwoo will be able to sneak the dry ice into the pool area."

"why are we doing this again?" i asked

"to get rid of daein, to make jeonghan realize that his life is not gonna be any better with that slut around and to get our revenge for what he did to poor chan," boo answered and pointed on the map again "all of this will happen once the winner is announced."

"but, if seventeen wins, don't you think they'll take the award away from you if they figure out who did this?"

"good point. but minseul, no one's going to find out if we carry the plan out well," he told me "we just have to be really sneaky!"

"boo," i sighed "wonwoo and i's task is risky as hell. we're not even sure how to enter that small gate by the pool area!"

"easy, tiger," he smiled at me and showed me a padlock "mingyu is a part of the swimming team. he told me that the padlock for that door is similar to this one. this is our old house gate lock, for your information. and what you're gonna do know is to practice picking the lock!"

"are you serious? we could just do the bomb by the trees and not in the pool area, you know."

"that area is just across the sound control room. I might get caught."

"ugh fine," I gave up. i'm still not sure about this plan because it feels bad "but what if we get expulsion huh?"

"we go back to the previous school!"

"seungkwan, the principal of that school hates us! remember when you sprayed something on his bald head!?"

"what's wrong? at least he has hair now! he should be thankful!!"

I gave up and sat back down on that sofa. I told him that this is the last time I'll be doing something crazy that's gonna get me kicked out of the school. and while I was thinking of something, I received a message.

_______
哥哥💕
online

-hey it's minghao, not junhui.
he left his phone with me and
it's all I can use.

-can I come over? q u i c k

like, right now?-

-yes right now

are you gonna be with junhui or-

-just me. i'm alone. i got into
a bad situation

oh shit okay I'll wait. boo and-
jihoon are here too btw

-thank you minseul!!!

_______

"minghao is coming over," I announced "poor boy got into a bad situation."

seungkwan continued to talk to me about the plan until minghao finally came. when I opened the door, he hugged me in an instant although he was soaked because it's raining outside. "hey what happened?" I was worried. I let him step inside while boo took a towel for the boy.

"I was on my way home from the nightshift korean classes that I have," minghao talked. he was shivering "then I went with junhui to a coffee shop and stay for hours to study but then after, we parted ways."

"then?"

"I almost got robbed. almost," he muttered "thank goodness I have my nunchucks. if I didn't, I would be doomed."

"awww," boo and I cooed. we let him stay and rest after he changed into soonyoung's clothes.

"you know, we could use minghao with his nunchucks power," seungkwan whispered to me

"boo, no. we're not gonna hurt people."

at 4am, I woke jihoon up on the bed beside soonyoung but they looked so cute, I had to take pictures first. when jihoon was awake, wonwoo finally came over in his uniform to wait until we leave the house. seungkwan double checked everything to make sure that we won't fail.

"you, and wonwoo," he pointed "since you're both the science nerds and you're good at experiments, surely, you'll be doing good with the bomb."

when everyone was awake, I prepared breakfast and we ate up. then fast forward to when we have to leave the house now because this is taking forever. "okay, let's go!" soonyoung put his sunglasses on, played some loud ass classical music and started to drive. jihoon, minghao, wonwoo and boo tried to fit themselves at the backseat.

"why are we here? just to suffer," jihoon sighed

"you know, jihoon, if you're having a hard time trying to squeeze yourself into this tight space, you can always go to the car trunk," boo replied "you will fit there."

"no one's putting jihoon in the trunk," soonyoung announced.

when we arrived at school, wonwoo, boo and i hid the ice box somewhere in the tree area. while the others started to dress up for today's performance. and before we went to the lab, seungkwan observed the sound control room first. 8am. hooray, the show is starting in the open area venue. because the boys are going to perform, I was seated next to daein again. I couldn't wait until it was finally their time to shine.

and the writer controlled the time so it's seventeen's performance now!!

the boys were in blue outfits when they stepped on stage. then the music started and guess what? daein started to scream again. yep, what an asshole.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

(a/n: their faces on the thumbnail tho im screaming soonyoung is so cute wow i hate him jk what who said that)

as usual, they slayed. do I have to say more?

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HANNIE!!!!" daein screamed and threw finger hearts at the boys, trying to be cute as fuck. not cool, daein. not cool. at the end of the performance, she told me that soonyoung is so talented. like yeah, bitch, I know. you don't have to remind me.

"remember when I told you that I'm going to destroy seventeen?" she suddenly asked

"yeah why?"

she didn't answer. she just flashed a smirk and turned her head away while I prepared to leave the venue. I met hansol and wonwoo by the border of the main event place then I saw the guard seungkwan was talking about. "let's go," wonwoo whispered then we ran to where we hid the ice box. it had the materials in there as well to make the bomb. I heard the next group's song on the speaker. great, one more song left and the winner's finally gonna be revealed.

across from where we were, seungkwan was laughing with the guard near the entrance of the sound control room. wonwoo and I put our safety gloves on and then carried the polar insulated chest to the back entrance to the pool area. I picked the lock. fortunately, it was the very similar to the one boo gave me. we quietly entered the restricted place and put the chest down, that's when I heard the performance from the last group. we waited for two minutes more before we started on the bomb. what we had was a 2 liter pop bottle waiting to be filled with the dry ice.

"we have gloves but it burns," I muttered
"of course, it's negative 78.5 degrees celsius, minseul."

when the song was about to end, we were done putting all the dry ice into the container.

"do we put water?" I asked
"why put water? it can just explode on its own," wonwoo replied
"if we accelerate the sublimation, pressure will build faster," I explained, then we agreed to add the liquid.

"and the group who received ten points for the performance teaser with perfect score for creativity and uniqueness......"

"wait wait wait fuck don't pour water yet!" I stopped wonwoo and we listened to the host first.

"SEVENTEEN!"

"AA-" I almost screamed but then wonwoo covered my mouth.

"why did we win though? that video received a lot of hate."

"and a lot of views as well."

wonwoo quickly poured water on the container and did what he had to do. loosening the cap to a small amount, we both threw it to the pool before running away, carrying the materials with us.

it'll be exploding any time. wonwoo and I dropped the box to where we hid it and hastened back to the venue with jihoon, who was done talking to the guard. catching our breaths, we saw the boys on stage, delivering their thank you speech for receiving the first rank for that video teaser that reached over 20 thousand views.

next was the announcement for the performers who will be hailed as the group of the year. the crowd was screaming different group names while I yelled for seventeen. meanwhile, wonwoo, jihoon and hansol returned backstage.

"SEVENTEEN!!!!"

the moment they were called, there was a huge explosion at the pool area causing alarms to go on. it was loud as fuck, everything was stopped for a moment and guards came running to check the place. that was seungkwan's chance to sneak into the technical room. i was chill until the nervousness started to kick in as I watched seungcheol accept the trophy with both hands and deliver a speech to the quiet crowd.

"ah, we're so thankful to accept this award!! we really can't believe it though. it's all thanks to jihoon who pushed us to join this performance, to soonyoung who worked hard for the choreographies. to everyone who made this happen. to minseul who arranged our songs, wherever she is, thank you so much and we love you! to all our supporters here, wow we're so lucky to have you and we love you so so so-"

faster than light, seungkwan sprinted to the stage to grab the microphone from seungcheol.

"AND SHIN DAEIN, THE GODDESS HERE IN SCHOOL, THE GIRL EVERY GUY DREAMS OF. WOW! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TRYING TO TEAR SEVENTEEN APART. YOU DID WELL AND I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO HAVE YOUR OWN SPOTLIGHT!"

the crowd was in shock about the diva's unexpected speech. the other boys didn't know how to react either. soon after, everyone started to regret that they have ears because daein's recorded voices of jacking off to soonyoung's name dominated the whole school.

"WELCOME TO ROAST A HOE!" seungkwan announced like a host "WHERE YOU DISCOVER THE DARKEST SECRETS OF THE HOES IN SCHOOL! REMEMBER, YOU SPANK IT, WE ROAST IT!"

some of the audience went laughing and some didn't really get it.

"oh shit soonyoung i really love you. do you know how much i've been waiting for you to be mine? joshua was nothing, jeonghan is nothing and i don't really care about seventeen. i just want you, soonyoung," daein's voice covered the campus. people were getting disgusted and from where i am, i could see soonyoung cringing on stage with his red ears.

"oh my god what is that!?" the girl next to me shouted "it's disgusting!"

"is that really shin daein's voice? like, THE shin daein? omg!!!"

"TODAY'S VERY SPECIAL GUEST HOE, WE HAVE SHIN DAEIN!" seungkwan announced again as the record kept blasting from the speakers

"and and i love you so much, you can use me for anything that will make you the happiest person alive! i will kill your friends if i have to! i will do everything just so we can be together and nothing could stop us or tear us apart! i would give you all my money, i will pay for your eye surgery, i will pay for whatever you want!" the speakers went on as the students freaked out.

i decided to run to the front of the stage where i was stopped by the devil herself. then she planted a huge slap on my face. the crowd gasped because it was projected on the two screens. ouch.

"hey don't touch her!" soonyoung shouted "it's roast a hoe, not slap my girlfriend!"

"oh it's time," i muttered

"hey shin daein, i like your short dress," seungkwan spoke with a low voice on the microphone "did it come with a pole?"

the audience went "OOOOOHHHHH" at seungkwan's question. daein was straight up speechless. if we only embarrassed her to over a hundred thousand students in the previous school, here, it's over eight hundred thousand plus the school board members. the girl went on stage and grabbed the microphone from the host "you bitch, boo seungkwan!" daein shouted "what the hell did i do for you to do this to me! i do not do nasty things, that's not my voice! and i would never do that to soonyoung because i am not a slut and i have self respect!

"so if you're not a slut, what are you? a volunteer prostitute?" hansol asked

"oh no no, hyung, she's not a slut. BUT SHE HAD MORE COCKS THAN EVERY FARM IN THE ENTIRE STATE OF TEXAS" lee chan intervened "COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO, BITCH!"

"LEE CHAN YOU'RE A SON OF A BITCH!" daein insulted

"sorry but my mother is definitely nothing like you!" the boy spat back "IF SANTA LOST HIS BAG, HE COULD JUST USE YOUR LEGS TO CARRY ALL THE PRESENTS"

at this point, the crowd was hyped. everyone was cheering and some have their phones out to record the public roasting session. when soonyoung grabbed my hands to pull me up on stage, daein screamed and covered her ears because the voice record was still playing. then she started to speak again

"that's not me! i don't like soonyoung, i'm not obsessed with him! i never even liked him!!! that's minseul's voice!"

"hey listen, i don't speak whore," i told her

"and she wouldn't tell soonyoung to go get a fucking eye surgery because he already looks hella fine with his eyes," jihoon added

"and uhh, i checked my receipt," soonyoung replied "turns out i didn't buy any of your bullshit. i could go on forever, just talking about your obsession for me but i'd rather tell everyone about this new paint color which was inspired by you, shin daein! it's called WHORE RED. and no, it's not as red as my hair because first, it's not bright. second, it's very cheap and really easy to spread. LIKE YOUR FUCKING LEGS."

"YOU ASSHOLE!" daein was about to attack but stepped back when minghao whipped out his nunchucks "YOU SHOULD REALLY WEAR A CONDOM ON YOUR HEAD BECAUSE IF YOU'RE GOING TO ACT LIKE A DICK, YOU MIGHT AS WELL DRESS LIKE ONE!"

"see? i told you, minghao's skills is useful," boo whispered to me

"what's that?" soonyoung cutely put his hand near his left ear "oh you talk too much shit, i don't know if i should offer you a breath mint or some toilet paper."

"fuck you kwon soonyoung, if i was your mother i'd poison your milk!"

"fuck me? oh you wish," soonyoung laughed "and if i became your child i'd definitely drink the poisoned milk."

"KWON SOONYOUNG! KWON SOONYOUNG!" seokmin and i chanted, until the whole crowd started saying his name as well.

"do you hear that daein?" soonyoung asked "i'd rather hear my name repeated like that instead of hearing it from your filthy mouth through a nasty phone call as you think of fucking me when you're literally on the bed beside another boy." he glared at jeonghan, who looked down in an instant

"so daein, whatcha gonna do? sit there looking pretty?" boo stepped up

"at least i'm pretty," the girl replied

"i bet i could remove all that beauty with one wet Kleenex, you hoe." jihoon told her "clearly, you're covering shit up with makeup. and what's your favorite shade of lipstick again? oh right, it's cock."

"OOOOHHHHH!!!" the crowd taunted.

"daein, did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on your way down?" mingyu asked "and don't you dare tell me that you're a pure one because unfortunately, there's no 'clear history' button for all the guys that you fucked."

"and you, kim mingyu, do you really think you're handsome?" daein questioned "you think you're everyone's knight in shining armor when in real life you're just a retard in a tin foil. but guess what? everyone is seventeen is a retard. you talentless motherfuckers."

"talentless? where?" minghao chuckled "listen, anything you can do, i can do better. unless it's being a whore, then you win. hands down to that. obviously, you've been on more wieners than a heinz ketchup."

"step aside, you ching chong bastard. everything about you is fake. your plastic surgery. that even your own country denies that they made you."

"i'll tell you what. your presence is so bad that sometimes i wish the chinese exclusion act happened in korea just so i wouldn't meet a whore like you," minghao seriously spoke to her "oh wait, you probably don't know what i'm talking about, considering that you failed your history class. remember when you didn't know what countries were in the axis powers?"

"stop bringing old shit up!" daein freaked out "that was in another school!"

"yeah and now we're in a different school. i think it's time for them to know that the only reason why you topped your class here is because number 1, you top your teacher. number 2, your sister does all the school work for you," minghao announced "who's the fake one now?"

"exactly what i thought, daein, you really are that type of girl a guy should show off," wonwoo told her "for show and tell in a psychology class, you pitiful crazy racist bitch. i hope you could see through everyone else's eyes so you could see what a piece of shit you are."

"aww daein, sorry that our statements are borderline inappropriate," junhui added "and by sorry, i mean you're welcome. you obviously need it as a slap across your fucking face."

daein couldn't take it anymore, she was so angry that she was about to cry. "OKAY FINE!" she shouted "I'M ALWAYS THE BAD ONE HERE, THAT'S ALL YOU WANTED TO HEAR RIGHT?! THAT'S WHAT YOUR REVENGE IS FOR EVEN WHEN I'M ACTUALLY THE FUCKING VICTIM. I DON'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS BULLSHIT. ah, my throat hurts."

"and your knees hurt too, don't they?" seungcheol asked

"you whore!" daein reached for me to grab my hair "stop taking soonyoung away from me!"

minghao stepped up to push daein while soonyoung pulled me away from her. "wow you're so good at playing the victim," jihoon nodded and clapped his hands "i'm surprised that you don't carry around your own body chalk. be careful with your drama production because it might fail any time soon, just like your father's protection."

"and excuse you, revenge is not in our plan. we know you'll fuck yourself on your own," seokmin chuckled and did a high five with chan

"daein, are you still going to defend yourself?" seungcheol asked her "and why do you keep going for my members? clearly, you're not our cup of tea. mainly because we don't like huge pieces of shit in our tea, thanks."

boo walked around daein and started spraying air freshener around her. "daein, honey, you might want to step away from the sunlight, we hate the smell of burning plastic."

"get away, fatty."

"i suppose you get offended with the things we say," hansol started "well, just imagine the things we hold back."

"jeonghan, joshua, aren't you gonna say something for me?!" daein asked. joshua raised his eyebrows and pointed at himself. "yes, you, joshua hong."

"ummm..." joshua muttered "....it's scary to think that people like you are allowed to um...breed?"

"OH MY GOSH, JOSHUA TRIED TO ROAST OH MY GOSH!" seokmin started screaming "THIS IS A MIRACLE!" the audience started laughing and cheering again. daein just chuckled as she wiped her tears off.

"and you, yoon jeonghan?"

"........"

"okay then," daein smiled "good bye, seventeen. good fucking bye." she dropped the microphone and stormed off the stage

"omg wait, come back! you forgot some of your bullshit!" seokmin yelled, but the girl didn't care.

"woah okay," the host nervously chuckled "that was an unexpected moment and uhh we're closing the program now. this has been performance week. give it up for seventeen as group of the year! thank you!"

"ROAST A HOE! ROAST A HOE! ROAST A HOE!" the crowd kept cheering

"boo seungkwan, choi seungcheol, chwe hansol, hong jisoo, jeon wonwoo, kim mingyu, kwon soonyoung, lee jihoon, lee chan, lee seokmin, nam minseul, shin daein, wen junhui, xu minghao and yoon jeonghan. please report to the headmaster's office."

"oh well, here we go again," seungcheol shook his head

"was that arranged in terms of sassiness because i definitely heard my name first," boo chuckled

"no, idiot. it's alphabetical," wonwoo answered

______________________

this was bad omg. sorry for not updating yesterday tho.... i had to rest, and this is kind of uhhh two updates in one, considering how long it is. this is by far the longest chapter in this book. well at least it's not short.

like jihoon lmao jk i'm shorter than him.

kbyeilysm, stay hydrated!!!!!!
-jiro