i'd write longer than this but uhm.. 2018 started quite bad for me and i'm honestly so pissed off but it's okay.

just a thing for this chap:

pulmonary edema -  condition caused by excess fluid in the lungs. this fluid collects in the numerous air sacs in the lungs, making it difficult to breathe.

strangulation symptoms may be an early indication of an internal injury such as swelling, bleeding, fractured larynx or hyoid bone, seizures, pulmonary edema or death within 36 hours due to progressive internal injuries and/or complications.

source: Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research

-j
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"i'm staying backstage," seungkwan told me "what about you?"

"i'll watch from the audience, as always," i answered. boo and i walked to the science lab room again where the hip hop unit is preparing. the others are there too. the moment we entered, we were welcomed by a song playing out loud. wow, it was like a party.

"hey, you guys are here!" seokmin greeted "hola mi amigos!"

i waved back with a smile and stepped in to drop my bag on the nearest table, where joshua was. he looked at me for a split second before breaking the contact to focus on his phone again.

"hi josh."
"hello."

we didn't really talk much. maybe because it's awkward? ugh i don't know. i sat down on one of the chairs and just observed the boys do their thing. hansol was constantly complaining about why his outfit differs from the other members in the unit while they just laughed at him. seokmin and boo were taking selfies with the skeleton model, jihoon was asleep and joshua was busy playing bible games.

it felt quite empty because five members were missing.

as i browsed on instagram, daein's new ig story caught my attention. (yes, we hate each other but we follow each other too) i tapped her icon and i was surprised to see her selfie with jennie with the text 'guess who wanted to take a picture with me omg' what a liar. i doubt jennie would want a picture with her.

next was seokmin's ig story and i burst out laughing when i saw his selfie with the skeleton model with the same text daein has on her selfie with the blackpink member.

a few minutes later, hip hop unit was already practicing their performance. jihoon finally woke up, only to make his way next to me and ask if i could massage his hand so he could sleep again.

"yay thanks," jihoon muttered as he rested his head on his left arm to sleep. i grabbed the hand cream he gave me and used it to smoothly rub circles on his palm. the thing is, i don't really know how to massage stuff. but wow, jihoon's hand cream smells like strawberries, it's so adorable. although he has black hair now, i still refer to him as strawberry from time to time. never gets old.

"umm minseul," joshua called

"yeah?"

"about yesterday..."

"oh, i'm sorry about that," i uttered "maybe we should just uhm, forget?"

"yeah, yeah....exactly," joshua nervously chuckled "hosh almost killed me."

"he gets triggered easily," i replied with a smile "i'm sorry for that too."

"it's okay."

the conversation left an awkward silence between us. i didn't know what to do next so i just faced the sleeping jihoon again to continue my task. joshua was still facing me though. but after a few seconds, he finally turned to the other direction and i was finally able to breathe well.

i gasped upon receiving a message from doyoung. he texted me something about dino going through a process of checking his lungs for any sign of pulmonary edema later. obviously, i didn't know what the hell that is so i decided to check it out.

knowing that the boys would worry a lot if i announce it before hip hop unit's performance, i decided to just let them know about it after all the activity.

7:30am. all of us made our way to the auditorium. hansol was telling me something about how different their stage is going to be. and of course, i was looking forward to it even though i already know that these boys are going to slay the performance. seungcheol wasn't really having it though. he hasn't been sleeping well for the past nights because of stress and excessive worrying. but he told all of us that he'll be giving his all for the supporters they have so far, and for seventeen, especially the youngest member.

again, i was seated at the usual spot. daein was beside me again and we waited for the show to start. this time, she was seated next to jeonghan and trust me, it was awkward as hell.

"how's soonyoung?" she asked

"great, he's great," i answered "your plan didn't work, i'm sorry."

she just had a shocked expression printed on her face before flipping her hair and shutting her mouth. as always, we watched several performances before seventeen but this time, i wasn't really enjoying because:

1.) daein and jeonghan are near me
2.) chan's condition is all over my mind

when blackpink started to perform again, daein moved closer to me and whispered "i can't believe they know me." "they know me too, so shut up," i replied. for real though, i have met them once but we never really hit each other up. all i know is that they're adorable people and that they know me as that girl who's friends with seventeen.

at least i'm not a nasty liar like shin daein.

in the middle of the girls' 'so hot' performance, i believe i received another message because my phone vibrated, but i was too focused on the stage to check. then a few minutes later when the song was ending, i fished the phone out my pocket to read the message.

from: doctor kim✨

hello again, dino is currently having a checkup on more visible injuries. we have only seen the light sub dermal hemorrhage he has just below the eyes so far, but don't worry too much, it is very minor and does not cause any notable long term effects. he will be having his chest x-ray and pulse oximetry in two hours. i hope to see you and the boys later before the patient's electrocardiogram, if it turns to be necessary for him.

i am extremely thankful that doyoung updates me about the maknae's condition from time to time but at the same time, it gets me real worried about what could happen. before seventeen's performance started, i quickly glanced at jeonghan and was surprised to see him looking all tired. what the hell happened?

daein wasn't cheering at all when trauma started to play. probably because jeonghan was beside her. the boys finally appeared and started doing their thing. i was lightly bopping my head to the beats i made as the boys gave their all in the performance.

also, they performed in a different stage, it was quite small, more like a box to give more emphasis on the meaning of their song.

the two minute performance was fully packed with feels and seriousness. i could feel their pain as they rap to the flow of the song. it wasn't like the other performances the other groups did for the day. it has a different vibe to it.

three more groups followed before i finally hastened to the backstage to see the boys and tell them about dino. but before all of that, i congratulated the unit and reminded them of how great they did on stage.

"i was nervous," hansol told everyone "i thought i'd faint."

everybody then assured him that he did a really good job.

"should we visit dino now?" seokmin questioned

"we definitely should," i answered "doyoung told me that he looks forward to seeing us there soon."

i sat beside boo as we waited for the four boys to change clothes and fix their stuff. when we were about to go, we met jeonghan along the way.

"can i visit chan as well?" he asked us, who exchanged stares with each other

"ask our manager," boo replied and pushed me in front.

"i'm not your manager!" i whisper-yelled, if that even makes sense. seungcheol moved close to me and muttered, "well you're the manager for now."

jeonghan glared at me like i'm the most hated person on the fucking planet. i awkwardly smiled at him and turned my head to the boys again.

"okay so..." i started "it would be okay for you to visit him but now is not really the right time."

"are you saying that i'm not allowed to see my friend?"

"back off, jeonghan," jihoon intervened "you still think that dino thinks of you as a friend after you tried to kill him? i think the fuck not."

"i wasn't talking to you," jeonghan replied

"well, let's just say that chan doesn't want to see you nor talk to you," i added "give him some space because it's not going to be easy for him to forgive you right away."

jeonghan just shook his head before leaving, purposely bumping into jihoon so the boy could fall down.

"what a bitch," jihoon grouched as he stood up and fixed himself. we decided to get some food first before making our way to the hospital so the boys there would have something to eat.

"hello!" seokmin greeted once we entered the room, but we were surprised when we found the bed empty. only minghao was inside, sleeping. as quietly as possible, we put the food packages down on the small table and waited for the others to come back.

"ah, there you are," doyoung welcomed us. he fixed his stethoscope first before telling us everything that we need to know about chan's condition.

"i'll have you know that lee chan has a mild larynx injury which means that he's not allowed to talk much. please refrain from making him laugh or just talk in general. i assure you that everything will be okay as long as it doesn't turn develop badly into laryngeal trauma," he said

"what?" seokmin asked

"don't worry because there's a very little chance of developing the potentially deadly injury. just give the patient some rest and we'll do our best to treat him," the doctor told us "he's currently out for his chest x-ray. if we are able to confirm the diagnosis of pulmonary edema, then he will likely have to undergo a lot of processes. but if those processes refuse to reveal the reason for the condition, dino will have a small catheter enter his vein to inflate and deflate a small balloon inside to provide pressure readings."

"sounds painful," wonwoo muttered "will he be okay though?"

"of course, he will definitely be fine in no time especially if we don't find any serious sign of fluid inside his lungs."

"do you have a chapel here?" josh asked "i will pray for him."

"yes, second floor near the drug testing area," doyoung replied and stood up "well, that's all i have to tell for now. please wait for the patient to return and i repeat, give his larynx a rest."

all of us let out a sigh once doyoung left the room. damn, dino must be going through a lot of painful things.

"hey what about dino's parents?" i asked seungcheol

"his father knows about the condition, but not about jeonghan," he told me "i told him that we're watching over and taking care of him like we always do."

"will he come back to korea?"

"unfortunately, he can't. but he calls me to check on his son from time to time."

"good thing he trusts seungcheol hyung a lot," mingyu told me "if not, then dino would obviously be forced to leave seventeen."

"what about the bills though?" i questioned

"soonyoung wanted to help the maknae's family so he said he'll pay for everything," cheol answered "but we're off to give something too. we don't want him to pay for all that. it's expensive."

a few minutes later, dino finally showed up on a wheelchair as soonyoung pushed him. the young boy immediately smiled and gave us a thumbs up. junhui then followed with a brown envelope. when dino was finally back on the hospital bed, soonyoung sat beside me and buried his face in my shoulder

"i'm tired," he uttered

"go home and get some sleep," i said, but he shook his head

"i'll only go home if you're gonna go home too."

i didn't want to go home yet, but i agreed to do so. soonyoung kissed dino and minghao's foreheads before leaving.

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less boring chaps soon don't worry

kbyeilysm
-jiro