Chapter 39

February 15, 20xx

"Well, it has to be eaten, young lady. Don't waste your food." One thing is for sure, she's way scarier than my mom.

Or maybe it's because I'm sitting between two people who I never thought I'll sit with.

I shouldn't be here.

Dapat nasa school ako o nasa Art Stuff o kasama si bebs ngayon at sine-celebrate ang 19th birthday niya. That's how it should be. But no. Andito ako dahil sa isang invitation na hindi ko na ikinagulat nung nakita ko sya sa may tapat ng apartment namin. What I'm not expecting is we have someone to tag along. Someone I'm not prepared to deal with.

"If I were you, I'll do whatever she says." monotone niyang sinabi sakin. "And I'll be a good girl and I wouldn't dare to steal someone's boyfriend or my son's father."

Si Lovely.

Napatungo ako sa sinabi niya. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na hindi ko ninakaw si Gatorade o inagaw siya dito o kahit ang katagang 'hindi anak ni Gatorade si Andrei' pero mas pinili kong wag nalang.

Hindi ito ang eksaktong naisip kung paano ko kakausapin si Madam, ang nanay ni Gatorade.

"Ano po bang kelangan—"

"Get out of our life." Napaurong ako sa sandalan ng upuan ko nung biglang sumagot si Lovely. "Easy, right?"

But it's not easy.

"Lovely, your manners please." Mahinahon na pinunasan ni Madam ang bibig niya at tumingin sakin. "Alexa, eat."

Tumingin ako sa pagkain ko. I lost my appetite.

"Madam,"

"Eat." she cut me. At pakiramdam ko may kung anong bumara sa lalamunan ko nung tumingin siya ulit sakin. "And please, you're not one of my employees to call me Madam. I'm Loreyn Zamora. Nice to meet you."

Sinubukan kong tumingin kay Lovely pero inirapan niya lang ako. She really hates me and she has all the reasons to be. Ang hindi ko lang maintindihan ay bakit kasama ni Madam si Lovely at andito ako para kausapin nila?

"I think I met your parents before." Bigla akong kinabahan sa sunod na sinabi ni Madam, "I wonder if they know about you dating my son."

Alam ni Papa pero si Mama...

"Gusto niyo bang lumayo ako kay Gatorade?"

"Buti alam mo pero hindi mo pa rin ginawa.." singit ni Lovely.

"Desisyon ni Gatorade ang—"

"Kung hindi ka pumasok sa buhay namin, walang ganito." Matalas akong tiningnan ni Lovely. "Naisip mo na dahil mahal mo siya, it's enough to take away something... take away somebody's happiness."

"Wala akong plano akong manakit ng tao."

"But you did." Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin. Kita ko ang maghigpit na pagtikom niya sa kamay niya. "Look at the consequences you've made just to make a fool of yourself that there's magic when you fall in love."

Just to make a fool of myself...

"You're happy now? Well, just to let you know Ms. Delos Reyes, for your happiness, I have a child crying almost everyday because he misses his dad."

Pareho kaming nagulat nung padabog na ibinagsak ni Madam ang baso niya sa lamesa. Nakita ko sa mata ni Lovely ang takot, "Don't try me, girls. Don't let me put you back to grade school just to teach you good manners and right conduct."

"I'm sorry," Nawala agad an inis ni Lovely. " Please understand."

"Understand?" Tumingin sakin si Madam. Weird dahil si Lovely anng kinakausap niya, "You actually want me to understand? Pagkatapos nang ginawa mo sa kambal ko?"

"Lance and Lean agreed to this."

"And you took advantage of it." hindi ako si Lovely pero alam kong mas dobleng kabog sa dibdib ko ang mararamdaman ko kung ako siya dahil sa seryosong tingin ni Madam sakin.

Sa kanya namana ni Gatorade ang mga matang yun.

I'm sure because I love staring at Gatorade's eyes.

"Andrei is your grandson. Kahit hindi si Lance ang ama, Lean is—"

"Lovely," she shifted her eyes to Lovely, "stop using my twins."

"I'm not using—"

"Maswerte ka dahil nasa side mo ang asawa ko. Thanks to your wealthy name. I was hoping this will be a good chitchat with the two of you since kayo lang ang nakikita kong malapit sa kambal. But I changed my mind." Seryoso siyang tinginan si Lovely. "Can you please leave now, Ms. Alicaway?"

"What?! Akala ko po ba gusto niyong malaman kung anong ginawa ng babaeng to sa anak niyo? Now you want me to leave?!"

"Did you just raise your voice on me?"

"I..I..."

"Hinayaan kitang mawalan ng manners sa harapan ko at kung ako sayo, hindi ko hahayaang mawala ang sakin." She sweetly smiled at Lovely, "Leave."

Making her leave means kaming dalawa nalang ang matitira dito. Oo, I thought that it would be a bad idea to have Lovely around pero after seeing and knowing how scary and strict she is...I think it's worse if she leaves.

Pipigilan ko ba siya? Anong alibi? Nataranta ako nung biglang tumayo si Lovely. May alinlangan sa mukha niya na parang ayaw niyang umalis dun pero andun din ang pag-aalala na gusto niyang umalis dahil sa takot niya kay Madam.

"Please Tita, she made Andre—"

"Don't call me Tita, you're not a relative." Tumingin siya sakin at ngumiti, "Alexa, please eat."

Inalok niya ako na parang instant na nawala si Lovely sa paligid namin. Nakita ko ang inis sa mukha ni Lovely bago siya umalis. I'm aware na kelangan kong sundin ang sasabihin niya. Kumain na ako at sinunod siya. And there was relief nung nakita kong ngumiti siya sa ginawa ko.

What's next? What do I have to do next?

"I really hate it when she's around." Bumalik na din siya sa pagkain. Alam kong ilang beses ko ng nasasabi 'to sa utak ko at napakajudgmental ako... pero nandun na naman yung weirdness. "So you're dating Lance, oh ano ngang ginagamit niyang pangalan?"

Like within a snap of a finger, she turned into another person, "Gatorade."

"For 20 years, hindi ko man lang nalaman na may weird nickname ang anak ko." Bipolar like Gatorade. "So tell me, when did you meet my son?"

Should I be honest to her? Pero bakit naman ako magsisinungaling? "Ah—sa mall po, July. Free demo."

"So you're one of his client?"

Masakit aminin pero tumango ako. "I...was."

Gusto kong paniwalain ang sarili ko na katulad din siya ni Gatorade na mabilis magshift ng moods pero kinakabahan pa din ako dahil anytime she could snap at magiging strict na naman siya tulad ni Mama. "Oh, so you're really 'really' dating him?"

Am I really dating Gatorade?. Kahit ako naguguluhan sa set up namin. Ang sabi lang din sakin ni bebs, it's 'Live-in Part 2'. Walang statements like: "Tayo nalang ulit?" o "Pede bang ibalik sa dati?" Or kung meron man, weird dahil parang sinabi na rin namin na bumalik kami sa set up namin na maging in a relationship by contract.

Malabo.

And there's Russ.

"Hindi ko po talaga alam kung anong meron sa aming dalawa," pero alam kong meron. "Does it matter?"

"You have a point." Tumango siya na parang naintindihan niya ang sinabi ko. "Ako alam ko na asawa ko si Anthony pero papel nalang 'yon."

Gusto kong malaman kung bakit niya talaga ako kelangang makausap.

"Ano po bang kelangan niyo sakin?"

"Am I not allowed to meet my son's, hmmm, 'hindi ko po talaga alam kung anong meron sa aming dalawa' partner?" There's amusement on her tone. Alam kong hindi ako dapat ngumiti pero hindi ko mapigilan. "Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry." I stoop down, "Kaparehong kapareho niyo po kasi si Gatorade."

"Talaga?" I nodded. "I thought he's always like his dad."

Hindi ko pa nakikita o nakakausap ang tatay ni Gatorade pero I really see resemblance, "You have the same eyes."

I met her gaze. All the strictness is totally gone. Hindi ako makapaniwala pero ramdam ko na nawala yun nung sinabi ko yun sa kanya dahil hindi niya inaasahan na sasabihin ko yun sa kanya. Pero mabilis niyang tinanggal ang amusement sa mata at bumalik yun sa dati, "Mahal mo ba ang anak ko?"

At yun ang hindi ko inaasahan.

"Po?"

"Mahal mo ba ang anak ko?"

I..I was never vocal about my feelings. Now that I think about it, hindi ko maalala na sinabi ko man lang yun kay Gatorade. Kahit si Gatorade. Pareho kami.. Pero hindi ibig sabihin nun, wala kaming nararamdaman. Na there's none existing between us.

"Opo."

"Hundred percent sure?"

"Ma'am,"

"Because I won't give him to you." Biglang sumikip ang dibdib ko. "Lance is one of BFC's boyfriends then Lean teamed up with his father kahit alam kong he's still keeping in touch with me. Lance is all I have."

"But I'm not taking him away from you."

"How can I be sure that he won't leave me? That you won't take him away from me?"

Wala akong plano na agawin ang kung sino. I never planned to get Gatorade away from Lovely nor Andrei. Kung tutuusin, ayoko. Ayokong may maiwan o may masaktan.

"Do you know how it feels to lose a child? Alam mo ba kung anong nararamdaman ni Lance nung sabihin niya kay Andrei na hindi niya ito anak? It's easy kung hindi tinuturing ni Lance na anak niya si Andrei but no.. anak ang turing niya kay Andrei."

And I took Andrei away from Lance.

Oo, madalas kong isipin kung anong nararamdaman ni Gatorade nung ginawa niya yun para makasama ako pero hindi na namin yun pinagusapan. I was locked up of thinking how much pain I will cost and made but I didn't even try of knowing the real deal.

"How are you sure that you really love him?"

"Gusto niyo ba na lumayo ako kay Gatorade?"

"Will you?"

Kaya ko ba?

Iniisip ko ang selfishness ko tuwing kelangan kong sabihin kay Russ na itigil na ang lahat. Pero kaya ko ba kung kay Gatorade na?

Just the thought of it...

"Hindi...hindi ko po kaya."

"I won't give him to you."

"Hindi ko po kaya."

"So you'll be selfish and take him away from me?"

"No. I won't take him away from you but yes. I will be selfish just like you being selfish of not letting me have him." Just the thought of it hurts me.. "Hindi ko po kaya. I can self-proclaimed it na madamot akong tao pagdating sa mga taong mahahalaga sakin. Na kahit ako po, ayaw ko ang ganitong ugali sa sarili ko. Ayaw ko silang mawala sakin na kahit kelangan ko silang ipagtabuyan, hindi ko kaya."

"Halata sayo na hindi ka nagdalawang isip na sabihin yan sakin kahit ako ang nanay ni Lance." Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. It's true. Siya ang nanay ni Gatorade and it's like I don't give a damn about it. Naguluhan ako nung kinuha niya yung champagne glass niya at ngumiti sakin. Ginesture niya na kunin niya din yung sakin, "Please Alexa. Let's have a toast."

Inubos niya yung champagne sa baso niya kahit sinabi niya yun. Mas lumapad ang ngiti niya at saka ulit tumingin sakin. This is really weird. Nung una, naguguluhan at ako hindi maintindihan ang sinabi niya pero later I did. Naintindihan ko na.

"And please, call me Tita."

"But I'm not a relative."

Ngumiti siya. Like the way how Gatorade pull off a smile, "I believe sooner or later, you will be."

Did I just get my approval?

"And Alexa, ilang beses ko pa ba sasabihin na kumain ka?" Napatigin ako sa plato ko. I just barely touched it. "Please continue. You're in the right path towards impressing me."

I think.. I just did.

********

"San ka nanggaling?"

Isang nagtatampo at nakangusong best friend ko ang sumalubong sa akin pagdating ko sa bahay. Oh! Hindi lang siya. Maya maya, sumulpot sa likod niya si Gatorade. Isang nagpe-pretend na nagtatampo at trying his best to pull off a pout (na nagawa naman niya) na blue head guy.

I really hate puppy eyed looks. Not this kind of looks please.

Did I include this before on my weakness list? Should note it.

"I'll explain."

"Di na kelangan." tinaas ni Gatorade ang phone niya. Idinikit niya yun sa tenga niya, "Next time, sabihin niyo sa akin kung kikidnapin niyo siya."

"May informed kidnapping ba?" di ko mapigilang matawa sa sinabi ni bebs. She has a point. "At may kidnapping ba na hindi humihingi ng ransom?"

Another point.

"San ka pupunta?" pumunta na si Gatorade sa kwarto at alam kong si Ma-Tita Loreyn ang kausap niya. (This 'please call me Tita Loreyn' is really awkward.) Dumiretso ako sa sofa at umupo.

"Family date. "

"Si Marcus?"

"Hm, bawal siya." Tumalon bigla sa lap ko si Laelle. I played with his fur, "Bakit?"

"Ex' issue. He's dating Mica."

"So you're still not okay?"

"Technically."

"Just flirting with him?" Natawa ako nung biglang binato sakin ni bebs yung bag niya. "What?"

"So you're just flirting with Gatorade too?"

"Do I really have to flirt with him pa?"

I bit my lip para pigilan ang pagtawa ko. "Ang conceited mo na!"

Or maybe I'm just in my goody moody shoes. Alam ko, bago ako umalis dito sa apartment, wala ako sa mood at kinakabahan ako. Pero after that 'lunch date', I feel better. It's nice knowing na para din talaga siya si Mama. There's always a soft spot inside a strict mom or kahit hindi strict. It's always there.

"Ex issue. Hindi okay dun si Kuya Viniel?" Umupo si bebs sa tabi ko.

"Ina-assume ko lang. Hindi ko din alam pero ayokong i-take risk." Nakakatwa dahil halos paeho na naman kami ng situation ni bebs. Sabay kaming nagkaroon ng contract boyfriend. Sabay silang nawala. Halos sabay na naging "okay" ang lahat. At sabay na pinagdadaanan ang isang "illegal" relationship.

"Paano si Mica?"

"Hindi ko alam. And I don't care. Patapos na ang kontrata nila."

"And you thought na she'll just let it slip?"

"Bebs, don't ruin my birthday please." she pouted. "But I can't stop thinking bebs. She won't let go of us that easy."

From Mica Takashima

Having fun, Delos Santos? Well you should. Enjoy it while you can. I'll let you have Marcus now but in the end, tatakbo siya pabalik sakin. M

"Anong ibig sabihin niya dito?"

"Hindi ko alam. But I'll take her advice." Kinuha niya yung phone niya sakin at bumuntong hininga. "In the end, tatakbo naman talaga si Marcus sa taong gusto niyang puntahan."

Tumayo na si bebs at iniabot sakin si Laelle.

"Puntahan ko na sina Mama."

Tumango ako, "Happy birthday, bebs."

Pinanuod kong maglakad si bebs palabas ng apartment. Inaaccept niya lang lahat ng pedeng mangyare. Dahil atleast, she enjoyed it. Pero anong ibig sabihin nun? Na tatakbo siya pabalik sakin?

Dalawang beses na naging client ni Marcus si Mica. Kung si Marcus ang dahilan kung bakit nag-break si Kuya Viniel at Mica, sigurado na galit si Kuya Viniel dito. Pero nung nagkita kami dati sa mall ni Marcus at kasama niya si Mica noon, walang reaksyon si Kuya Viniel. He's the same old same old.

Why?

Kung tutuusin, hindi na kami client nina Gatorade o Marcus. Wala ng BFC rules annd regulations. There's no more hindrances. Pede na silang magsabi ng totoo. There can be no more lies dahil wala naman silang susuwayin na rules.

Napatingin ako sa pintuan nung lumabas si Gatorade. Kakababa niya nung phone at inilagay niya yun sa bulsa niya. He met my eyes. He boringly looked at me at umupo siya sa tabi ko.

"Bakit kayo naging boyfriends ng BFC?"

Gusto kong malaman. Kita ko ang pagkagulat sa kanya pero nawala agad yun nung tumunog ang phone ko, "May natawag sayo."

Si Mama. Pero binaba na niya agad nung ia-accept ko yung tawag.

"Do you really have to know?"

"Bawal ba malaman ng baby mo?"

And there it was.

His playful smile.

"So baby na talaga kita?"