Tense Relaxation

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."   -Miss Piggy

I rolled over onto my right side. I could feel my brain firing off neurons in an attempt to jumpstart my system, but I wasn't quite ready to begin my day. Today was day four of my façade, but I was not in the mood to think about that. Denial and I had a long, lasting relationship. I inhaled the lovely laundry scent of my pillow and noticed the faint scent of syrup that didn't belong to my room. Like a dog, I lifted my head and followed my nose. I traveled down the stairs and into the kitchen. I noticed that the syrup smell was accompanied by the sizzling of bacon and sausage. I had to admit, I drooled a bit. Hell, if I had a tail, I would have been wagging it.

My stomach gurgled loudly.

"Oh, Lily, finally, I was just going to come wake you up."

I sat down at my usual seat, the one on the right side of the table that was the closest to the counter. "Mmm," I replied vaguely as I scooted my wooden chair forward.

"Actually," she continued as she sipped her tea conversationally. "I was planning on forcing your sister to do it. You're really rather hostile in the morning, Lily."

I crossed my arms and pulled my knees into my chest. "I am not!" I argued.

"You have a tendency to growl," my mum insisted with a mocking grin. "And even though you always seem to conveniently forget about it, you flail your limbs out and try to hit everything in a two meter radius of you."

"I do not flail my limbs," I told my mother with the utmost seriousness.

"James?" Mum appealed as he sat down in the chair beside me.

"Yes, James," I said as I rounded on him. "Do answer the question carefully."

James laughed cheerfully and ruffled his hair. "I know better than to admit to anything. You can't fool me into coming between two Evans women."

Dissatisfied with my fake boyfriend, who was bloody supposed to take my side, I huffed and pouted in my chair.

James, who apparently noticed everything about me, smiled amiably at me and rested his arm around the back of my chair. He leaned forward just enough that I could smell his lovely boy scent as his lips nearly grazed my ear as he whispered to me. "She is right, though. There's a reason why you should never tickle a sleeping dragon."

He laughed at my scowling face as he kissed my cheek before pulling back.

I gave him my death glare.

However, he did not seem to notice that I was mentally sending curses at him because he continued to smile pleasantly while his fingers played with the frizzy mess that was my bedhead. His fingers traveled down and played with the strap of my tank top against my bare shoulder. I raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously and tilted my head warningly. The corners of his mouth perking up, James nodded to my mother and then put a tanned finger up to his red lips seductively. I was rather mesmerized by the movement, and he seemed to notice the glazed look in my eyes. He winked at me. I folded my arms across my chest and huffed childishly. Git.

A few seconds later, a plate of waffles, arranged into a smiley face with the bacon and sausage, was placed in front of me. I looked up to see my dad.

"Thanks, daddy!" I told him as I wrapped my arms around his torso. "You're the only one around here who's nice to me."

"What about Tuney?" he reminded me.

I gave him a doubtful look.

He shrugged and kissed the top of my head. "Morning, Lils."

"Good morning, daddy."

He sat down next to Mum, and I started to tuck into my waffles, my favorite of all breakfast delicacies, excepting, on occasion, French toast. Though, simple bread could not be designed to grin at you, so I supposed waffles really did have an edge.

My parents talked between themselves while I ate my food. James seemed perfectly content with rubbing my shoulder and humming quietly to himself. I couldn't really hear him, but there was definitely a soft melody coming from the back of his throat, though I was fairly sure he was doing it unconsciously.

"So, Lily, I can only assume you're all packed for today," Mum said to me as I wiped all traces of my waffles off with my napkin.

"Huh?" I asked as my eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Packed for what?"

"Didn't Petunia tell you? I told her to tell you last night."

"We never got the message," I heard James say as he hid his smirk with the back of his hand. "We were busy."

I wanted to smack my head repeatedly on the table when he said that, though, I settled for kicking James deftly in the shin under the table. Not caring about his pain, I focused on my own embarrassment. I thought my face would positively burn off from the heat from my blush. My dad pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger as he waited, most likely, for the urge to strangle my boyfriend to pass. I silently hoped it wouldn't. Of course, James was completely unabashed and calmly rocking his chair back a bit.

Mum's eyes flashed with intuition. "Well, I'm taking you and your sister out for some girl time. You'll be leaving in a week or so for school, and Petunia is always off with Vernon. I thought it would be nice for just us girls to spend some time together."

I pretended to smile at the idea. On the inside, however, I could not think of anything less pleasant. Okay, I supposed I could. Still, at least cleaning slime off of awards in the Trophy Room didn't require me to talk to Petunia. "Where are we going?" I asked with a feeble attempt to keep the weariness out of my voice.

"The spa!" Mum exclaimed excitedly.

Ahh, somebody Avada Kedavra me. I groaned. "The spa?" I repeated with disgust. "Really, Mum?"

"Lily," my dad threatened.

Her face fell. "Was that not a good idea? I've already booked the hotel and our appointments. I just wanted to spend some time with you, sweetie. It's only one weekend, and then you can get back to your life." Her big blue eyes stared at me sadly.

I bit my lip. Great, now I had made my Mum upset. "No, it'll be fine," I pacified her. "Yay for mother-daughter time," I cheered as enthusiastically as I could manage. I even swung my finger in a circle for emphasis.

She didn't seem too convinced. "You don't really want to come," she said dolefully.

My mother sure knew how to make someone feel guilty. You would have thought I had just drowned a kitten, or something. "Yes, I do, Mum. I can't think of a better way to spend my Saturday," I told her earnestly.

"You're sure you wouldn't rather stay home with James?" she asked doubtfully.

"Completely sure," I said truthfully as I grinned playfully at James, who narrowed his eyes at me in the same teasing manner. I shoved his chest. "He's annoying anyway," I added. "Besides! I can't leave you alone and defenseless with Petunia. You might never make it out alive!"

"Lily!" Mum, trying to hide her amusement, scolded.

"Sorry, Mum," I apologized quickly.

"Valid point," my dad agreed quietly.

"Henry!" Mum exclaimed with even more volume.

My dad shrugged innocently at her and then winked at me. I smiled secretly at him.

"When did our darling eldest daughter say she was getting home, dear?" my dad asked Mum.

"She went over to Vernon's house to say goodbye. I think he's bringing her back here in about fifteen or so minutes."

"Aww, we have to see him again?" I whined.

"Well, at least he calms your sister down," Mum replied quietly while daintily wrinkling her noise. "So you better get packing, Lily. We have to leave as soon as she gets here, or we're going to miss our nail appointment."

I wrinkled my noise. "Joy," I muttered under my breath.

"What was that?" she called.

"I said, 'Yay!'" I lied. "Now, if you excuse me," I said as I gathered up my plate and put it into the dishwasher. "I apparently need to go pack."

"Don't forget your toothbrush!" Mum reminded me as I exited the kitchen.

"And earplugs!" Daddy added conspiratorially. "Petunia!"

"Henry!"

I chuckled in amusement as I walked up the stairs. I heard footsteps follow me up. Not bothering to turn around to check who it was, I grinned to myself. "Planning to pick out my clothes for me, James?"

He grabbed my hand and stopped me from climbing up the stairs. I was ashamed to admit that as my weight counteracted and I swung into his chest, my heart rate had increased so rapidly that my body was rushing blood like a marathoner after the last kilometer. Apparently, the mere knowledge of knowing what was underneath his soft, gray t-shirt was enough to send my hormones flying. Damn, boy pheromones!

"Would you even let me, love?" he asked.

I stepped down a stair so that our eyes were even. I stared at him for a second or two and licked my lips teasingly. I watched his eyes follow my mouth. I leaned forward so that my lips were right near his ear. "No."

Then I sprinted up the stairs and locked myself in my room without bothering to check his expression. I knew him so well I could already imitate the dull, blank boy stare anyway. Merlin, boys were so predictable. I guess I couldn't really blame them. The only had enough blood to run one organ at a time while girls, unfortunately, had blood to spare.

I tossed a pair of capris and a t-shirt, the first one I could find, into the overnight bag I kept in the back of my closet along with a pair of flip-flops. Then, I walked across the hall and took a quick shower. Thankfully, my boyfriend had traveled down the stairs and I did not have any awkward encounters as I walked back to my room in my towel.

"Petunia's here, Lily!"

Damn. She was early. Of course, the one time I could actually use her perpetual lateness and inconsiderateness, and she was finally prudent. Figures.

I threw on a pale yellow tank top and the first bottoms I could find. I groaned when I realized that the white fabric was a skirt, but I didn't have time to change so I buttoned it up. I quickly grabbed my bag, slipped into a pair of white flip-flops, and raced to the bathroom to chuck my toothbrush and a brush into my bag.

"Crap!" I exclaimed as I ran back into my room. I tripped over my own two feet and stumbled down. "Bloody hell!" I grumbled loudly as I grabbed my desk for support to pull myself back up.

"Lily!" I heard my mum's voice call from downstairs. "Now's not the time to be entertaining elephants!"

"Funny," I muttered. I clicked my tongue in my mouth in annoyance as I navigated to my dresser. I fiddled around blindly in the drawer and pulled out the first pair of knickers I touched and then did the same for a bra. As I nearly ran past my desk, I reached out and snatched my eyeliner and mascara to cure my lifelong disease of red eyelashes. Shoving everything into my bag, I zipped it shut, grabbed my wand, and then sprinted down the stairs.

Everyone was waiting for me in the hallway.

"I'm here," I said while I tried to regain control of my heavy breathing.

"Took you long enough," Petunia commented rudely next to the whale, I mean, Vernon.

"I'm sorry, Tuney. Would you have preferred if I had-"

"Girls, play nice," my dad interrupted me.

I sighed. Thank Merlin for my father. I didn't know how I was going to finish that one. I couldn't let Petunia know that I was too frazzled to outthink her. She might have felt superior. Well, more than she normally deluded herself into believing.

"Ready for pampering and relaxation?" Mum asked as she strode forward with James trailing behind her with her small suitcase in hand.

I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and realized how tense I had been lately. I didn't think I could have felt less relaxed than if someone told me I had to go skipping through the Forbidden Forest alone and covered in snausages, created especially for werewolves.

"Lily?" my mum asked when I didn't say anything.

"Uh, yeah, sure, Mum," I responded vaguely as I followed everyone out the door and into the driveway.

"Bye, dear, don't burn down the house or order Indian food. You know how much it stinks up the house," my mum warned my dad.

"Yes, April," my dad said with defeat. "We will try not to do anything you wouldn't want us to."

They started bickering about his use of the word "try," and like a true grammar nerd, my father was attempting to avoid an argument by explaining to her the insignificance of his slightly more passive verb. Meanwhile, Petunia and Vernon were speaking in hushed tones and glancing around furtively. I rolled my eyes. We weren't aliens; we were wizards. The police weren't going to show up with sirens blaring and abduct us. James, shoving his hands into his pockets, which made his broad shoulders hunch over, and looking down at his trainers, shuffled over to me.

"Well, I'll see you," I said since I didn't know what else to say.

"Later," he finished for me.

"Yeah," I agreed with a slight smile. "Later," I echoed softly.

I peeked over my shoulder and watched my dad and mum pecking and Petunia and Vernon doing something so completely nauseating with their tongues that I couldn't dare to even try to describe it.

Still, that didn't mean James and I had to act all lovely dovey just to keep up with everyone else.

I stuck out my hand for a handshake. "Well, goodbye, James," I said cordially. What Would James's Girlfriend Do be damned!

He laughed at my hand and lifted it up into the air. Hesitantly, he laced his fingers through mine. I watched him curiously and waited for what he was going to do next. He leaned down slowly and kissed me lightly. It was soft and gentle. I barely allowed his lips to continue because I took my unoccupied hand and pushed his chest back softly to make him stop.

When I pulled away, I noticed that his eyes were still closed. He brought his nose to my hair and inhaled deeply before opening his eyes begrudgingly and removing his hand from my lower back. "Bye, Lily," he replied tenderly.

I walked over to the car and settled into the back seat. Normally, I would have fought with Petunia over the front, but she was already seated and jiggling her foot impatiently.

I peered out the window as the car pulled out of the driveway. James caught my eye and blew me a kiss. I rolled my eyes and turned back in my seat.

"Lily, why are you smiling so widely?"

"I'm just happy to get away, Mum," I answered brightly with only a bit of a lie.

The car ride passed slowly. Petunia has a tendency to pick the worst radio stations and then sing along. Very badly, I might add. It was a relief to finally feel the car stop.

I staggered out of the car. "I felt like that would never end," I groaned as I ambled to the back of the car.

My mum swatted my arm playfully. She grabbed her suitcase while I reached into the trunk to get my bag. "That ride took only forty-five minutes, Miss Magic Girl who can just poof anywhere she likes," she corrected me.

"It's a lot more complicated than poofing, Mum, and besides, my ears would have appreciated a shorter trip," I told her.

My mum glanced over her shoulder furtively. "Here," she said as she handed me a small package. "Your father told me to give these to you."

I looked down at the plastic. Earplugs. Excellent.

"What are you two whispering about?" Petunia demanded as we met up with her and her bulky, designer bag, most likely filled with cosmetics.

"Nothing," my mum avoided easily. "Let's go check in!"

I looked around the spa as my mum dealt with the registration and sleeping arrangements since the spa was connected to a hotel. Petunia popped her gum for the third time, and I physically cringed. More than any person, or creature, or thing, really, I had ever known, including James Potter, Petunia annoyed me. I did not know it was humanly possible to have every single thing about someone irritate you, down from the way they slurped their beverages so loudly you could hear the liquid hit their stomach to the way the way they would just stare disdainfully at you for minutes at a time and not say anything at all. My older sister was quite impressive.

A young bellhop took our bags to our hotel room for us so that we did not have to wait any longer to start our wonderful beautifying experience. Yay! Fifteen minutes really would have been too much to spare.

Smiling widely, a perfect-looking woman, without a single hair out of place and dressed in all white, took us to the nail salon. Once inside, Mum and Petunia eagerly skipped off to pick out their nail polish color. Feeling obligated, I followed them with reluctant footsteps. As they compared colors and vocalized pros and cons of different brands, I picked out the least offensive colors: clear and light pink.

"Lily," Petunia sneered. "You have to pick out something less bland than that. Why even bother having your nails painted at all?"

That was a good question. Unwillingly, I put the clear bottle back on the shelf and picked out a bright red one. I guess I could make my toes stand out a bit more. I did not want it on my fingers, though. It would just seem too obnoxious for me.

"Evans?" a man called.

"Which one?" my mum asked.

"All three of you, mum," the man answered with a courteous smile I knew he had practiced for customers.

"Oh, that's great!" Mum replied happily as she began to follow the man, who was also clad entirely in white. Apparently, spas wanted you to feel very sterile, that, or very virginal.

Bottles of polish in hand, I filed into the back of the line and followed everyone out of the reception area before sitting down into my designated chair. I took off my flip-flops and then immersed my feet into the blue water sink attached to my chair, which was vibrating. Silently, I hoped that it was just a foot thing and not a batch of Mrs. Scower's Magical Mess Remover. Though, my feet might have needed it. I picked one out of the water. My feet weren't dirty and my toenails, though they were not pretty, weren't revolting, but I could not imagine anyone wanting to handle my feet for too long. Feet were just gross as a rule.

"Ready?" a young woman asked me. Her straight smile was just as blindingly white as her outfit.

"Yeah, I guess," I said hesitantly.

She nodded and then placed my left foot on a towel before attacking it with something that resembled a hairbrush but had something that felt like sandpaper on it. I bit my lip as she tried, as far as I could see, to rip off all of the skin on my heel.

I leaned over to my mum and whispered, "Is it supposed to hurt?"

She shrugged. "Beauty is pain," she replied simply as she closed her eyes.

I crossed my arms across my chest in dissatisfaction as the woman placed my foot back in the blue water and grabbed my right one.

I glanced over to my left and looked at Petunia, who was reading a fashion magazine. Somehow, it was the perfect image. Now I knew why this place made me feel more freaked out than the Forbidden Forest: Petunia liked it

Feeling a sharp pinch on my big toe, I turned my attention back to the eerily perfect woman doing my feet. She was attacking my nails with a shiny metal object with a look of concentration on her face.

"They need that much work, huh? Guess I should have bought a new pair on my way here," I joked lamely in an attempt to break the tension.

The woman, without looking at me, nodded and continued her work silently.

Uncomfortable, I looked around the room and observed that no one getting a pedicure was actually talking to their technician. I bit my lip and tried to settle into my chair. The vibrating had changed, and now I could feel the mechanisms in the chair roll up and down my back painfully as the gears attempted to massage me.

My back bounced back and forth as the woman, whose name I realized I didn't know, gripped my foot tighter to hold it steady as she painted my groomed toes the bright red color.

"Don't you just feel yourself become less tense, Lily?" Mum asked.

The chair jostled my body forward again. "Yeah, no tension here."

When the torture of my pedicure was over, a new woman, just as disturbingly ideal, steered me over to the manicure desk. I felt the urge to apologize for the black ink stains covering my right hand, but I didn't know how to explain them. Describing your entire lifestyle as a witch who used a quill seemed a bit like overkill, so I just kept my mouth shut while she scrubbed. As she forcefully began to file my fingernails into flat, perfect boards after I had informed her that under no circumstances was I going to get fake nails, I vaguely wondered how much trouble I would get in if I just apparated out of this scary, utopian place with its modern art and uncomfortable furniture. Since I knew it would be a lot, I sat as still as possible and let the blonde in front of me "tsk" at my cuticles in horror as though I had just told her I had never highlighted my hair.

A conditioning lotion, base coat, two coats of color, a tiny silver design thing, and some finishing gunk later, I was finally released from polish prison. Thank Merlin.

With the least amount of sarcasm or bitterness I could manage, I thanked the woman who had wordlessly transformed my normal nails into a mass of pink and sparkles. Wanting to sprint out the doors and head to the nearest bookstore to try to regain my brain, which I think was forced to go up to the hotel with the bellhop, I headed to the door.

"Lily, God, where are you going?" Petunia asked.

Rio. Canada. Germany. Hell, I'd even go to a Chinese prison.

"You have to wait for your nails to dry before you can go anywhere."

I was sure the universe hated me.

Unenthusiastically, I scuffled to a chair and sat down next to her.

"How long does it take?" I asked wearily.

Petunia examined her fire red fingernails that were obviously fake, seeing as they were about an inch longer than her normal nails had been, as I secretly hid my grin. I figured she would get something really obnoxious like that. I knew my sister all too well.

"About fifteen minutes," she said casually as she blew on her fingertips.

My jaw dropped. No way in hell was I going to spend one more minute in this place than I had to. The fumes were making me feel nauseous.

"No way," I refused. I got up out of my chair, and Petunia, making sure to not ruin her nails, smacked me with her elbow.

"You're going to mess up the paint."

"Fine," I huffed. "But I'm not just going to sit here."

I used my elbow to lift up my shirt and carefully pulled my wand out from my pocket.

"You can't take that out here!" Petunia shrieked before realizing we were in public and dropping her voice down to a menacing whisper. "There are normal people here!"

I wasn't entirely sure that was the case. This place screamed of Veela more than I cared to say. "Relax, Tuney," I told her as I fumbled with my wand with the palms of my hand. "It's just a Swedish nail filer," I teased her.

As I struggled to grab the handle of my wand without the use of my fingers, Petunia eyed me evilly.

"Lily, I swear to God, if you use that I will-"

Tuning Tuney out, I muttered the incantation softly and felt heat hit my nails. Then I leaned over and did the same to my toes.

"Much better," I sighed. Then I held out my wand to her. "Can I interest you?" I asked her politely.

Petunia closed her mouth angrily, crossed her legs, and looked away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my Mum wave hugely to me with a large smile plastered to her face. There was my wonderful mum who just wanted to spend quality time with her two daughters and hope that there were no murders in the process. Sighing, I sat back down next to Petunia. The dramatic escape plan would have to wait. Curse my mum for guilting me into this.

"So, red, huh?" I started as I motioned to Petunia's nails.

Her sneer told me she wasn't really in the mood to talk to me, but I was sick of the bizarre quiet of this place. Almost shocking to admit, if it was between the picturesque, robotic employees and Petunia, I'd choose my sister's disdain any day.

"What's with the pink?" she countered. "You're supposed to actually be able to notice that there's a color, little sister," Petunia counseled condescendingly.

"I guess I just don't have your savvy nail knowledge, big sister," I told her with a cheeky smile.

Petunia opened her mouth to fire back, but Mum interrupted her.

"Ready for facials, girls?"

I grinded my teeth together and wouldn't let the inordinate amount of profanities leave my mouth. My dad would be so proud. He was always telling me to filter. I always reminded him that tact was just not saying the truth. So yes, with propriety in mind, I was ready to get a bloody facial. Oh, that sounded a tad gross. Mentally, I changed the adjective to ruddy.

However, forty-five minutes later, I decided bloody was a more accurate modifier. I didn't care about my pores. Any more exfoliation and my face was going to fall off! I could not understand why people would pay money to be abused.

My red hair trapped in a fluffy towel, my face covered in green gunk, and my body outfitted in one of the spa's white robes, I fingered my cucumber slices wearily.

"Mum, my eyes are green enough already," I argued.

"But, Lily, it's all a part of the process," she rebuffed.

"I feel rejuvenated enough," I argued.

"You obviously don't know anything about cosmetics then," Petunia commented.

I smiled sassily at her. "We all can't be the Wicked Witch of the Spa," I said sweetly as I eyed her green face.

"Mum!" Petunia protested loudly. "She called me a you-know-what!"

"Oh, come on!" I argued. "You know that's not what I meant."

"You always have an agenda," Petunia said. "Everything you say is always with a smirk like you're making fun of me."

Well, that was only because I usually was. "It was just an expression. I was joking," I explained exasperatedly.

"That's hardly a laughing matter!"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, right now your face is!"

"Shut up, freak!"

"Girls!" Mum yelled before lowering her voice to hiss at us angrily. "Stop it right now. You're behaving like six-year-olds. Petunia, she didn't mean it like that. Lily, stop constantly antagonizing your sister. Now, we are going to have a good time today if I have to duck tape your mouths shut to force you two to be civil to one another. Like it or not, you two are sisters, and I am your mother, and I demand some damn bonding!"

Woah, Mum was getting a pretty wild-eyed, and she had even cursed! Now I really had no choice. I eyed Petunia angrily. "Fine," I sulked.

"Whatever," voiced Petunia.

"Now, Lily, put your cucumbers on," Mum demanded.

Petunia and I plastered smiles onto our faces and spoke politely about the weather and whatever other safe topics Mum chose to discuss as we got our massages. Personally, even if I had to lie through my teeth and pretend Petunia and I were the best of friends, I welcomed the distraction. My head forced in a tiny hole, clad only in a tiny towel that hid my rear end from view, and some complete stranger rubbing oil all over me was not how I wanted to spend my Saturday. It was ridiculously awkward. It hurt more than it helped. I didn't know how fingers jabbing into your spine were supposed to make you feel good. Plus, the guy, of course it had to be a guy, had really ugly shoes, which was the only part of him I could see.

Finally, the agony ended. I was allowed to put my robe back on and sit up in a chair.

"So, Lily," Mum said conversationally as she and Petunia joined me in the Spa's dining room. "How do you think James is faring without you?"

"I'm sure he's just fine, Mum," I muttered offhandedly. To be honest, I had barely given James a second thought. It had been nice. Almost like I had completely forgotten about my now habitual state of panic and anxiety that someone would find out my deep, dark secret. Even more of a relief from that, I had gotten away from James, himself.

It wasn't that I hated him anymore. Frankly, once he wasn't off gallivanting with his friends, pranking everything that moved, and asking me out every chance he got, James was pretty decent company. However, since he no longer needed to do the latter, James, or at least his tongue, had shown me what it was like to say "yes." And the scary thing was, I wasn't quite sure anymore why I needed to say "no."

Of course, I didn't actually have feelings for James. He was just this annoying prat whom I went to school with and would not see after graduation. My legs would turn to jello from any bloke who kissed that well or looked at me with that secret glance he always gave me when no one else was looking. I was in complete control of the situation. This was just a ploy, and I was just pretending.

I was in control.

Somewhere in the middle of my musings, the food arrived. Suddenly famished, I picked up my fork eagerly. Merlin, cleansing and pampering made me hungry. My stomach even growled in anticipation. However, my jaw dropped when I saw what was on my plate.

"More cucumbers?" I exclaimed in shock as I picked up a tiny bit of wheat bread with green in between.

"They're cucumber sandwiches," Petunia corrected me haughtily.

"No way," I objected. "That's not real food."

"They have kelp salad too," Mum offered.

Yeah, like that made a difference. "As in seaweed? Seriously? Come on, Mum! This is ridiculous!" My stomach burbled again for emphasis.

Mum examined her own plate with disinterest. "Well, since we are done with all of our appointments, I guess we could always head back to the hotel and order in room service."

I could have kissed her if my mouth wasn't so already full with drool. I settled for vigorously nodding my head until it almost fell off my neck. I would be the perfect anti-spa bobblehead doll.

"Petunia?" Mum asked.

"Fine," she agreed. I was surprised, but I tried not to let my face show it. Petunia loved to eat green healthy things with more grams of fiber than calories! Maybe she just wanted to do something nice for a change. I smiled genuinely at her. The corners of her mouth itched, but then she looked away. Then again, maybe she was just sick of dieting.

After the thirty treacherously long minutes it took for the food to arrive, I took a bite of the greasiest, cheesiest, most delicious cheeseburger I have ever had. I swore I would have married that burger, or maybe that was just the hunger talking.

My appetite finally satiated, I was able to think clearly again. The hotel room was what I had expected: clean and with all furniture facing a television. Nevertheless, I took advantage of the never-ending supply of hot water with a thirty-minute shower. Scalding hot water running down my back and the scent strawberry shampoo filling the room, I was finally able to relax after my long, stressful day of relaxation.

When I exited the steam-filled bathroom, I opened my bag to fish out my pajamas. However, they were nowhere to be found. Belatedly, I realized that in my morning haste, I had never packed them.

I sat on the side of the bed that I would be sharing with my mum, seeing as both of us knew better than to even ask Petunia to share. I looked over at the nightstand to check the time quickly. Yes, it was definitely time for sleep to undo all of this beauty.

"Mum?" I asked her. "Do you have any extra—"

"Oh, I know what you want," she cut me off as she sat down next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "Since I wanted to speak to your father anyway, you can call James up—but only for a few minutes. Phone rates are pretty pricy, so keep the sweet nothings to a minimum."

My face flushed. "That's not what I—" I tried to correct her as I pulled away from her embrace, but she held up a hand to interrupt me.

"I was once young and in love, too," she assured me. "I wasn't born a Mum with wrinkles and two teenage girls who can't seem to get along. I know what it's like to be separated from the fellow you love. Petunia ran downstairs to see if she could get more pillows for her back because apparently four aren't enough. I'll go find her and give you some privacy so you can call him."

"Oh, umm, thanks, Mum."

She winked at me and then left the room. Realizing it was a necessary evil, I took a deep breath.

What would James's girlfriend do?

Sighing, I picked up the hotel phone, followed the instructions for outside calls, and then dialed the house phone number.

"Hello?" a male voice answered.

"Hello?" I inquired. "It's Lily."

"Hello, Lily, it's the man who helped make you."

I grinned. "Hi, daddy! How are you?"

"Good, Lils. It's always nice to be able to order Indian food. I miss my girls, though. It's less fun without you all around talking my ears off all the time."

I laughed. "I assure you that you're having more fun. I almost had to eat a cucumber sandwich."

"Ahh, that does sound dangerous. Do you want me to come rescue you?" he offered.

"No," I replied, though it did sound appealing. "Hey, dad, would it be okay if I talked to James?" I asked.

There was a palpable silence.

"Oh," he said with a noticeable sadness in his voice. "Yeah, sure, baby girl. I'll get him."

I bit my lip. "Thanks, Dad. I'll talk to you soon!" I added with a cheerful tone.

"Goodnight, Lils," he replied.

Feeling unspeakably guilty, I waited for James to pick up the phone.

"LILY?" a voice yelled into my ear.

"Merlin, James, you don't need to shout, I can hear you!" I exclaimed.

"Really?" he said in a less booming, but still vociferous tone. "How can you hear me from so many kilometers away? Is there a Sonorus charm involved?"

I shook my head. Really, how did this boy tie his own shoes without magic? I realized with a laugh that he probably didn't. "Speak at a normal volume, James. It's a muggle invention. Electricity is sent through telephone wires."

"Blimey," James whispered. "I'll never get used to this. It's so much faster than owls. Muggles really have it so much better."

"Except that they can't do magic," I reminded.

"Ahh, right," he agreed. "So why are you calling me?"

I sighed. "Apparently, it's girlfriend etiquette for one to call her boyfriend before she goes to bed."

"So that she can describe what she's wearing?" he asked hopefully.

I didn't need to see him to know that he was smirking.

"No!" I replied back.

"Then why?"

"I dunno, to tell him how much she loves him and wishes she was with him right now, or something of that revolting nature?"

"So do you love me, Lily?" he prompted.

"No," I replied cheerfully.

"Aww," he whined playfully. "Well, then will you at least tell me what you're wearing?"

"James!" I screeched as I listened to his laughter in my ear.

"What? It's just pajamas."

I frowned. "If you must know, I left mine at home." Before I could give him a chance to say anything after that, I continued quickly. "I'm wearing one of the hotel's robes."

I couldn't quite make out what he said next, but it sounded like "lucky robe." I rolled my eyes and laid my stomach down onto the bed.

"What did you and my father do today?" I asked to change subjects.

"Nothing too exciting," he answered. "Vermin stayed over, much to our delight. He didn't say it, but I think your sister threatened him to guard her room. Apparently, I can't be trusted."

I smiled. He sounded completely giddy at the thought.

"I hope you treated him as a welcome guest," I said with mock civility.

"Marauders' honor, love," he promised.

"Ahh, and I know that all Marauders are the epitome of virtue," I teased.

"Chivalry is our one true goal, Mademoiselle," he replied. "Of course, when we're not courting pretty damsels, such as yourself, into our less courteous and more snogworthy broom closets.

I laughed loudly. Even though I knew the space was necessary because he was still the scourge of the underworld and a giant, egotistical prick, for inexplicable reasons it felt good to be talking with James again. It was like I was back home even in this nondescript hotel room.

"So when are you coming home?" he asked.

"I dunno," I replied. "Apart from the Cruciatus curse, I don't think these spa people can torture me in any more ways."

"You're kidding."

"No, James, I'm not. You remember that time in Care of Magical Creatures when you were attacked by a grindylow?"

"I was not attacked! I was merely allowing the class to observe the dangers—"

"Like I was saying, it's about fifty billion times worse than that."

"Like being sorted into Slytherin?" he asked with a fearfully reverent tone.

I chuckled. "Yes, James, like being sorted into Slytherin. There's even green, slimy stuff everywhere!"

"Oh, my poor baby," he teased.

I grinned despite myself as my fingers absentmindedly played with the telephone's cord.

The door opened, and I looked up. My mum entered followed by Petunia and her pillows.

"Ahh, James, we are no longer alone."

"A baby already, Lils? I thought we were waiting. What kind of spa is that?" he accused teasingly.

"Shush," I warned him as I bit back my laughter.

"Lily?" Mum called. "Ahh, look at you all sweet on the phone. Quick, tell James you love him and then give me the phone so I can talk to your father."

"James," I said into the phone.

"Yes, Lily?"

"I've been ordered by my mother to tell you that I love you and then to give the phone away."

He laughed. "Well, it's nice to know that you'd only utter such sentiments under orders." He paused. "Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

"My dad's listening over your shoulder, isn't he?"

"Sure," he replied.

"Well, bye, then."

"Bye, Lily."

I handed the phone to my mum. As she started chatting away, I turned to Petunia. "Got enough pillows?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes.

Once my mum had finished and Petunia, in an entirely necessary 47-minute long endeavor, called Vermin, which I am disgusted to say involved a fake argument over who should hang up first, I turned off the light and settled into my sheets.

"Mum?" I called softly.

"Yeah, Lily?" she replied with the sound muffled by her pillow.

"Thanks for taking me with you and Petunia."

"Mhmm, you're welcome."

I fell asleep shortly after that in the middle of longing for my own bed. After what felt like only a few hours, I felt cool air on my neck.

"Lily, wake up" a voice whispered into my ear.

"It's not morning yet," I groaned as I peeked an eye open to gage that it was still pitch black in the room.

"Lily, love, it's James," the voice said so closely to my ear that I felt warm lips graze my skin.

I opened my eyes slowly. "James?" I asked softly.

I watched his hand move red hair out of my face. When his fingers strayed too long before retreating, I realized that this was not a dream. Not that I normally dreamt about James Potter, of course.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed. I looked over my shoulder to make sure that my mum was still sleeping. I already knew Petunia was; she snored....loudly.

He opened his mouth to start his, I'm sure, very reasonable explanation, but I kicked off my covers, grabbed him by the elbow, and dragged him into the bathroom.

"Well, if you wanted me alone, you could have just asked," he said.

"James," I threatened.

"Be gentle with me, darling. It's my first time," he teased.

"James!"

All teasing aside, he wiped away his grin and pleaded to me with wide, innocent eyes. "Lily, don't be mad. I actually have a good reason for coming."

I flicked on the bathroom light. "You have ten seconds. Go."

"Well, you mentioned that you forgot your pajamas, and I wanted you to be comfortable. So I thought I'd get them for you, but then I knew you'd Bat-Bogey Hex me, or something, if I ever went into your room without your explicit permission, so I brought you one of my shirts. Here," finished James, thoroughly out of breath as he handed me a scarlet mass of fabric.

Shocked, I unfolded it. It was his Quidditch jersey, complete with his name on the back. I was slightly touched. "Thank you," I said, but since the words sounded too tender coming out of my mouth in such a quiet tone, I loudly added, "I guess."

He smiled at me with a carefree shrug of his shoulders. "No problem." He smirked and then messed up his hair. "I guess."

I stiffened up. "Though, you could have just owled it to me," I accused.

He grinned sheepishly. "Well, I admit, I kind of wanted to see you."

A part of me really wanted to tell him that I was glad he came, that I had missed him too, that I was looking forward to returning to him tomorrow. But that, of course, was not me. I was Lily Evans, and I was in control of this boyfriend nonsense. I wasn't going to let this pretense get to me, no matter how many stupidly sweet stunts James pulled.

"You'll see me tomorrow," I reminded him pointedly. "Today, actually," I corrected as I vaguely wondered what awful hour it must have been.

"Oh, Lily, just cut the standoffish crap and tell me you're glad to see me."

I half-smiled at him. "James," I said slowly. "It was so good of you to come. Now, please, exit the bathroom."

"Why?" he asked.

"So that I can put on your shirt."

"Why am I leaving again?" he asked impishly.

Rolling my eyes, I shoved his chest towards the door. He raised his eyebrow at me naughtily, but I opened the door and then promptly pushed him out.

Once alone in the bathroom, I lifted his shirt up to my nose and inhaled. Merlin, it smelled heavenly. No cologne was ever quite able to capture the smell of warm teenage boy. My eyes fluttered as I let my nostrils enjoy the ecstasy. Then I took off my robe and slipped the shirt over my head. The sleeves reached far past my elbows and the length revealed quite a bit of leg, but it was soft. With just a quick glance in the mirror to check my hair and to make sure there wasn't any dried drool on my face, I shut off the light and walked back into the hotel room.

James was waiting for me by the window. His eyes scanned me up and down as I tiptoed over to him.

"You look really nice in my shirt," he whispered to me as his fingers traced down my arm, leaving goosebumps everywhere he touched.

"James, it's late," I said softly. "You should go."

He nodded. The moonlight played tricks on his face. It was a contrast with dark and white that highlighted his eyes behind the reflection of his glasses and the whiteness of his teeth underneath his parted lips. "I should."

His fingers traveled back up my arm and over my collarbone that was exposed by the V-neck of his jersey.

"And my mum and Petunia are right here sleeping," I said quietly as his fingers moved to caress the back of my neck.

"And we don't want to wake them," he finished for me.

"So you need to leave," I whispered as my hands subconsciously found his torso.

"Need to, have to, should already be gone by now," he breathed.

"So I guess this is goodbye then," I said, even though I was actually inching towards him.

"But I should make it a proper one because we're not alone."

"But they're sleeping," I said. "It's not necessary."

"No, not necessary," he sighed.

"But they might wake up," I offered quietly.

"So it's completely necessary."

"Necessary," I breathed.

All speech was silenced as he rubbed his thumb slowly across my cheek and let his fingers massage my hair.

"Mmm," he moaned softly into my ear. I was so close that I could feel the vibrations in his chest. "Your cheek is so soft."

His other hand rose to my face as well, and with the light of the moon I watched his lips meet mine. He kissed me gently with the most feather light of touches. My body molded softly into his with my hands still pressed against his chest. My eyes fluttered close, and I lost myself in his tenderness. Very slowly, his lips stopped moving until he pulled away.

"Goodnight, Lily," he whispered before his hands slowly left my face and he stepped back.

As I watched him pick up his broom, open the window, and turn back to smile at me one last time before he flew away, I realized something very important.

I was so not in control.

Story credits to Molly Raesly