I don't know what this story will have base on story line that's is, all I know is that I'm writing angst so prepare yourselves for another round of Angst!

This story will most likely or will have the following
Homophobic
Physical abuse
Mental abuse
Bullying
Cutting
Suicide thoughts
Depression
Pain Attacks
The "f" slur
possibly rape idk

If you do not like or able to read this with the warnings then I advised you to get out of here and still have a heart before it's broken into tiny pieces....

Enjoy~

Jeremy's P.O.V

Have you ever done something so stupid that you swollowed a drug pill, gone out with a bunch of girls that you don't even like just admire from afar, ignore your best friend, pretty much almost rape you  could say, leaving your best friend at a party in a bathroom, escaping a fire not caring about anyone else but yourself, yell at your father, and almost turning everybody at your school into zombies.

No? Well I had and it was the stupidest thing I have every done in my entire life! I apologized to everyone and they forgave me easily, well almost...not fully but they're getting there. My friend Michael forgave me first but I still can't help but feel this is all my fault, because all of this would be avoided if I wasn't  so selfish...this is my fault.

Michael says it's not but at the party that was me without the Squip...I hurt Michael in more the one way.... Michael and I been friends for forever!

Let me explain more clearly

Michael and I go way back like preschool time or something. He been there for me for 12 years, he is a really great guy!

With his soft, short black hair, his gorgeous brown eyes shinning into the light of the sun or a simple light bulb, wearing his red Hoodie that I gave him freshman year, with different patches on each side his sleeves, My favorite is his Pac-Man and Pride patch....His hands are soft but warm also, fits perfectly with my hand like a puzzle finding there match, Sometimes I just want to hold him and give him kisses-
Ahem....

I'm getting carried away. Anyways, That is pretty much what Michael is to me...No Homo though, but I like him a tiny bit, before and after the Squipcident.
If he knew I like him he would disown me like my mom did but my dad and I don't talk about her.

Present day❤️

It's 4am in the morning and I'm trying to sleep but failing to...Stuff is on my mind...

"Your the reason he hates you!"
It's your fault your uncool! It's your fault you called him a loser!
It's your fault being a nobody!
It's your fault for being terrible!
It's your fault that your mom left you and your dad!"  I clenched my head and close my eyes

"Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Stop, Stop!" I yelled but not too loud so I won't wake my dad up

"I have to make the Voices stop, I need to stop make them stop talking, I need-" I look around and stood up from my bed and walk to my drawer grabbing a tiny razor.
"I Need to them to stop, I need to remind myself of the fucked up things I did, I need to show myself that I'm a fuck up"
I gently hover the razor over my wrist that has already have some cuts that we're healing. I press gently on my wrist and press on it.

I didn't see blood so I press harder until I see a stream of blood on my wrist dripping onto the floor. I look at my wrist and cut again above my already bleeding wrist...I cut again and again until I am satisfied...

"What am I doing to myself" I mumbled to myself as I wipe the bloody razor with a dirty shirt of mine. I put the razor back in my drawer and pull out bandages. I'm not surprise of what I did. I've been doing this since the Squipcident, so naturally I'm use to the pain and blood.

I finished wrapping my wrists and head straight to my bed.
"I need to tell somebody about this"

After that I fell alseep....

Time skipty Skip Skip 💛

I woke up and cover my eyes from the sunlight. I groan and sat up "I hate school" I mumbled angerly. I stood up and stretch, while popping my back.

I walk to my drawer and pull out my usual clothing and stripe shirt, a navy blue cardigan to cover my scars of course, blue jeans, and shoes. Nothing I'm not use to, I grab my bag and phone then walk out of my room.

I walk downstairs and find it weird that my dad has an actual job, to go to and leave in the early morning. I head to the front door not bothering to eat, anything for breakfast.
I walk down the street to a place called hell! Aka school...yay!

To school~♥️

I arrive at school and smile at myself. I look around the school's ground to find my friends

"Hey! Jeremy!" I look in front of me and see Christine, running towards me. We dated before bit after a week of us together we broke up...both of us understand why, but we're good friends
"Hey Chris! Have you seen Michael?" Christine giggled

"He's talking to Rich and Jake in side the school, why" I nervously fidget with my sleeves "I just want to talk to my best friend is that such a Problem" Christine shook her head

"No, not at all it's really cute seeing you guys together" I blush and fidget more with my sleeves "R-Really?" I stammered
"Yes really! Wait- you like him don't you!" I blush more and nodded. Christine let out a Fangirl squeal.
I didn't want to want to go death so I ran off while she fangirl.

I run inside the school out of breath and stood up from my stance and spot Michael and them
I walk up to them
"Hey, guys what you talking about?" Rich was of course the first to answer

"We're talking about how Michael is totally gay for you" I blush and saw Michael laughing
"Rich I told you I'm not gay for him" I look at him with hurt but went with it "Me neither, no homo bro" I chuckled nervously
"Dude you okay? You seem out if it" I look at Jake and smile

"I'm good, just don't want to be Heere" I did finger guns and silence was in the air. I put my hand in my pockets
"Anyways, we should get to class before we get exspell for missing class, seya!" Rich and Jake walk off to there class
That leaves me and Michael alone. Besides the students in the hallway

"So, you want to come to my house after school and play Apocalypse of the Damn?" I smiled and nodded "Yeah sure"
"Great!" The bell ring for class

"Shit we better get going, bye Jeremy!" Michael ran off

"Bye" I say quietly and walk off to my class.....

Bye~😘

Not very good but still~