A thousand thoughts ran rampant in my mind.

We had been wandering across the bustling hallways for a little. Ethan had given up on small talk for the time being. Each time he opened his mouth, the crowd's many voices would effortlessly drown out his own.

I, however, was not troubled by my fellow classmates' rants.

No, I was lost in a sea of despairing thoughts. Each and all were ominous. They all displayed potential ways Ethan would respond once he heard the same fucked-up lie the school took for truth.

Despite not knowing him well or being able to call him a friend: he was one of the few kind souls left on these rotten grounds.

My mind strayed back to my rash decision, albeit for a second.

I noticed we passed by the canteen; people stood in long lines before the vending machines; others dwelled around the standing tables near the far corners. It was a mess, just like the year before.

I wondered when they would finally settle on expanding the cafeteria.

Then, I looked over at Ethan; all the noises had dimmed down a bit. I opened my mouth, held it agape for a second, and then closed it without ushering a word. My thoughts regarding him swayed back to the forefront. I was unsure why I had given in to my sudden urge to accompany him.

I felt weak-willed, holding faith in a simple temptation, a fantasy of better times.

It was pathetic.

"Hey, uh, Xavier?" Ethan glanced at me, halting in his track.

I tried my heart out to feign a gentle smile. However, my mind's reigning, dark thoughts would not permit it. The moment seemed to last forever. I attempted to force a joyful expression onto my face - but my body rejected my commands - it was futile.

"Shouldn't we head inside?"

"Uh," I stumbled over my words, "F-Feel free to. I still need to, well, check up on someone."

Ethan frowned, "Oh," his voice carried a profound sense of disappointment. However, he swiftly altered his tone. "All good, see you around," mumbled Ethan. Despite the change to his voice, he still furrowed his brows.

It felt like I had made yet another grave mistake. I wanted to reply - set things right, but not a sound managed to escape my mouth.

I turned around, mocking my inability to express myself.

Ethan's eyes were digging into my back.

Momentarily freezing up, I shut my eyes firmly.

I began to pace to the other side of the hallway, staring at Ethan's reflection in the glass wall. He was turning away slowly. Perhaps my subconsciousness was right; the friendly affair was of no use. Sooner or later, Ethan, too, would turn his back on me, like most who came before.

No.

That wasn't right.

He stood up for me when Nelly-

"Shit."

I jerked my head to the side, looking over my shoulder. Ethan wasn't there anymore. Fuck, I messed up. I wondered what thoughts came to his mind. Whether my unresponsiveness even bothered him or not. Damn it, I should have replied, even if it was just with a small gesture.

The realisation was frustrating, to say the least.

I shook my head in an attempt to omit the thoughts. I wasn't sure why it felt the way it did. It was odd. I didn't even know Ethan, yet something inside stung when I walked out on him.

And fiercely it did.

I wandered off to the building's foyer, a few steps at a time. I approached the reception desk. It was one of the few safe havens within the school complex. Truth be told, I had spent a lot of time behind the desk, waiting until Mum returned the phone calls and gave permission to go back home sick. And so, I instinctively spoke up, "Good morning, Mrs Angeloff,"

"Mrs Angeloff?" A voice answered, "Oh, hello, Xavier,"

I was taken aback. I had not expected to see Mrs Dhelia, our librarian, sitting behind the desk. Her appearance and Mrs Angeloff's carried striking resemblances, from the shoulder-length, frizzy tendrils draping down her garments to the thin glasses she had always worn.

"Uh, oh," I mumbled like a fool. "I had expected to see Mrs Angeloff-"

Mrs Dhelia chuckled, dimples appearing on her dark cheeks. "Ah, I'm afraid Katerina-" She realised she called her colleague by her first name, "I'm afraid Mrs Angeloff quit her job over the summer."

"Awh," I answered, my bitter mood now soured too.

I had grown accustomed to seeing Mrs Angeloff behind the desk. Last year, despite never having interacted before, we still confided in one another several times. Though irregularly - once upon a blue moon, in fact. Oddly enough, we weren't friends. We didn't even know each other. I suppose that was the beauty of the whole ordeal. A listening ear devoid of all contexts, only focused on what trouble rests on your mind.

I was curious about what happened to Mrs Angeloff, adding, "Really? Do you know what she's doing now?"

Mrs Dhelia tilted her face, "Mhm," she finished typing something out. "Mrs Angeloff moved abroad. I believe she decided to re-educate herself in the psychology field."

I nodded, "I see. I'd say it's a perfect choice for her."

She acquiesced, "I suppose. I don't fully agree. I would have deemed her rashness-" Mrs Dhelia pressed her lips together. Her eyes revealed she had nearly mentioned something that was not meant for anyone else to hear.

I held back a peal of faint laughter, "I'll be off, Mrs."

She ran her fingers through the back of her hair, "Have a good one!" Mrs Dhelia waved me goodbye as I walked off.

It took a little while before I ran into Jess near the lockers. My eyes widened upon the first sight of her red face in anger. I was momentarily overwhelmed, dreading the moment Jess would stand before me and speak up. However, then, I saw a whole lipstick streak running from the edge of her lip up to her right ear.

She looked... Well, her lack of artistic finesse showed through and through.

I tried to hold it together; my lips remained joined together, but still. My cheeks bloated up as a grin crawled onto my face.

Sighting my undesired response, Jess yelled at the top of her lungs, "XAVIER!" her voice cracking like a whip.

"Jess!" I shouted back - but in comparison, my voice was no more than a whisper in the wind.

She stormed toward me.

The ground below my feet seemed to shake.

Jess halted before me, the close proximity highlighting the... odd makeup decision. Her eyes were narrowed down into a bone-chilling glare. Again, I felt the anger bleed into the air. Despite her attempt to control herself, I noted the trembling in her hands; the unsteady stance of her legs. I concluded that something had triggered Jess's ire. I was convinced it had something to do with the lipstick streak.

"I. Hate. People." Exclaimed Jess with a growling sneer. Disdain oozed from the edges of her words.

I snorted, "Noted. What's new?"

She rolled her eyes, grabbing hold of my shoulders and violently shaking me around.

Then she stopped, pointing at the red dash on her cheek, yelling, "Some fucking kid," pausing as she fought off her imminent anger outburst, "Ran into me and caused this mess."

Jess let go of my shoulders with her leftover hand, then moved to the lockers.

She slammed her fist onto the metal door; the poor quality showed as a single strike left a deep dent.

The sight startled us both.

Jess, wide-eyed, jerked her head toward me slowly, raising her hand and pointing her finger through gently. "If anyone asks," muttered the girl, "It wasn't me..." She added, an awkward, reserved smile taking shape.

We laughed the moment off, and then Jess continued, "By the way, Xave." A teasing tone had been woven in between her words. She poked my side, forcing a chuckle on my face. "Rumour has it you were hanging out with someone? The new boy, what was his name? Ethan Deen, wasn't it?" Jess smirked.

"Cut it out!" I whined, turning away on the spot.

Jess laughed, "Awh, your cheeks are all red. You're so easily flustered, Xave." Her eyes were fixed on mine as she leaned in, "Y'know, you two look adorable together."

A pout reigned dominant on my face. I felt my body spontaneously heat up, "Y-You haven't even seen him before!"

Jess dramatically blinked, "Excuse you. Oh, right, sorry, I forgot, you never heard of social media before, so I'll pardon this absolutely ridiculous accusation. Ethan is actually pretty popular; he, well..." She trailed off topic, "Actually," she chirped, "I'll let you figure out why on your own, Xave."

I shook my head, staring blankly, "You callous bitch-"

Jess was unfazed as she took her first step away from me, "I love you too, buddy." She turned around, walking backwards as she snarkily added, "Sorry not sorry for forcing social media upon you."

Before I could reply, the bell rang, and classes - sadly enough, resumed. 

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- 09/10/'22