Chapter 64 

Lacey

Coach Calloway's standing in the doorway of the team bus screaming at me to hustle up before he leaves me stranded in the school parking lot.

I reach the bus door, panicked and exhausted only for him to give me a stern "ball games before boyfriends" stare as I step inside. I expect Coach to follow me inside and signal our less-than-chipper driver to hit the road as fast as legally possible, but he stays put, eyes fixed outside on the space behind me.

"Wilcox! Let's go! If you want pictures of soon-to-be champions you better run like one, you hear me?!"

"Sorry Coach! Yearbook meeting went a little late. Won't happen again."

I freeze up at the sound of Maddie's voice. All of us do. The whole team stares up at her in shock as she steps on the bus like she never left. The girls erupt into welcome back cheers as she makes her way down the aisle.

"Good to have you back Mads. Love the new look," our pitcher, Sarah says with all of the sincerity in the world.

Maddie thanks her and winks in her direction, but it seems forced--just like her appearance. The Maddie I know used to wear clashing colors and zany outfits just to declare to the world that she didn't care about fashion. Maddie was loud and lovably rebellious in all the right ways. Now she's dressed in tight black short-shorts, knee highs, and a low cut v-neck that shows more skin than she ever used to.

I don't know what yearbook did to her, but spending time with Cassie and the other girls who may or may not be the secret writers of the Daily G has definitely left an impression. The new look does suit her, she's a pretty girl so anything would suit her really. I just wish she still felt like the friend she used to be.

Maddie makes her rounds and slaps high fives to her former teammates as she walks down the bus aisle. The closer she gets to where I'm standing the more desperate I become to find the first free seat next to someone else. Anyone else.

I dart further toward the back of the bus and eventually find myself next to the only free space available. The seat's totally unoccupied which I figure I can remedy by shoving my sports bag into the place where a second person should be. I settle in quickly and scramble to untangle my duffle bag straps from my arms as fast as humanly possible but they stay stuck.

"Need a hand?"

Maddie acts before I can answer and eases my bag off my arms without batting an eyelash. I used to like this about her. She was someone who could anticipate and solve problems faster than anyone. The only problem she was ever wrong about was my relationship with Elias.

"I guess I do. Thanks, Mads."

Her nickname slips out of my mouth before I can stop it. Maddie smiles and for split second the old versions of the both of us are finally standing face to face.

"No problem. Is this seat open?" She asks.

Guilt rises in my throat at the thought of how badly I wanted to block her out moments before, but I swallow it before she catches on.

"Sure. Let me just--"

"I got it."

Maddie takes my duffle bag and stuffs it into the storage rack overhead. She slides into the space next to me and the two of us sit in silence for a second or two as the bus pulls out of the parking lot. It's hard to know where to start with her now. The last time we spoke we fought. Neither of us made an effort to solve it because me dating Elias wasn't something to be solved. Last year, I thought Maddie of all people would be able to be happy for me, but she wasn't. I don't know if she ever was going to be.

I wring my hands together and force myself to hold back on old feelings from old fights that shouldn't matter anymore. I don't want anything to matter between us anymore, I just want my friend back.

"Hey, Lacey?"

"Yeah?"

"When did we get this awkward?"

Maddie asks and melts months worth of uncomfortable silence in seconds. The two of us laugh in unison and I finally let myself relax around her the way I used to.

"I don't know but I'm so sorry, Mads. Last year, with everything that happened with me and Elias, I didn't mean to push you away or make you feel like I didn't value you anymore I just-"

"Forget it. It's in the past, right? Besides you two are like the envy of the whole school now. It must be wild, right? Dating the most talked about guy on campus?"

Maddie stares at me with the same wide eyes that she used to, but something's different about them now. She used to be comfortable to be around. Warm and gregarious and kind. Now, there's a unsteadiness that didn't exist in her eyes before.

"I don't--really think about it that way. Elias is just Elias to me."

"I think he's a lot of things to a lot of people, Lacey. Doesn't that bother you?"

"Not really. I mean, everyone means different things to different people."

"You're right. It's just, some girls are weird about him, you know? I heard stories around about people who--are just too invested, you know?"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. I don't know. People are just crazy these days, I guess."

Maddie shifts her gaze away from mine and redirects it down to her phone. She furiously types out a text message to someone and sends it lightning fast.

"Boy trouble?" I ask hoping to change the subject.

"I wish. Girl-drama actually. I'm in a frenemie situation right now, but hey life sucks and then your friends stab you in the back, so what can you do?"

I place hand on Maddie's shoulder and hope I'm not crossing a line in comforting her.

"I'm so sorry, Mads. Do you--wanna talk about it?"

"Not really. Let's talk about light and happy stuff instead."

"Okay, so how are things with yearbook and the school paper?"

Maddie blows a loose strand of hair away from her eyes and tangles it around her finger.

"It's okay. I'm pretty good at it I guess. One of my ex-friends got me into photography so that's a new hobby."

"I've seen some of your pictures. You're really talented, Maddie."

"Not as talented as you are at life and love and pretty much everything."

Maddie's voice comes out broken and hollow. Night and day different from the way I usually know it to be.

"What do you mean?"

The bus lurches to a stop and Coach Calloway shouts at us to get off the bus. I stay in my seat waiting on Maddie's words.

"Lacey, listen. This is probably gonna sound crazy, but you have something so many people want--and you got it without even trying. It's like the whole world's watching you and you don't even take advantage of the attention. You just--make everything you do seem effortless. And everyone at school should love you for it, but there are so many jealous stupid people out there and honestly, I was one of them. But I don't want to be anymore. I don't want to be like the people who--you know what? Sorry, I'm not making any sense. I don't even know why I started this conversation."

Maddie stands up out of her seat and frantically starts grabbing her camera gear off the floor. She's agitated and chaotic in a way that she's never been before so I reach out and stop her from leaving in that state before I can't.

"Maddie, hold on. Please. Finish what you were saying."

"But you won't understand."

"Understand what?"

A series of fresh tears skim down the sides of her cheeks but she's quick to wipe them away.

"Why I we stopped being friends. It was all on me Lacey."

"That whole situation--wasn't just your fault. You were right--about a lot of things --"

"No, I wasn't. I was jealous of you, Lacey--and it was so, so stupid. I ended things because I thought that if I had enough space from you that I'd stop wanting everything you had. But I didn't. Honestly, in a lot of ways I still do. But I don't want to be that way anymore and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Lacey. I guess that's what I came here to say. And maybe all of this coming way too late but I wanted you to hear it before the school year ends. I even switched places with another photographer so I could see you today and say this in person. I'm just really--"

I pull Maddie into the kind of hug that says I miss you and I love you and I forgive you all at once. It takes her a minute, but Maddie softens up like the teddy bear I know she is and cries into my jersey.

"You know you're still my favorite person, right?" I say.

Maddie snorts a little too loudly for her own good and nods.

"And you're like--my penultimate person. I'm so sorry for being a jerk. I'm sorry for starting off this conversation sounding like a jerk. It's just--I've been hanging out with people lately who are jerky and crazy and obsessive  and I'm so--over it. You don't even understand."

"I think I do. From what it sounds like, you missed me, huh?"

Maddie laughs through her tears.

"I did. Everyday. Listen, I know I screwed up this year by being jealous and lame and stupid, but can we start over maybe? Like if you're not too busy with Elias this summer, can we hang out again?"

I ease away from Maddie just enough to be able to ruffle her hair back into its old familiar mess.

"Absolutely. We're way overdue for another Lace-face and Mads adventure. We'll keep it, girls only!"

"Speaking of girls, you two better get off the bus before I bench the both of you for life!"

Coach Calloway pops his head into the aisle and threatens us the way he used to when Maddie was still on the team. It's alarming and endearing all at once.

"Coming, Coach!"

Maddie and I chime in in unison which teases a smile out of Mr. Calloway despite how nervous he is.

"Hurry it up then. You can reunion all you want after the game!"

Maddie shoots me a knowing smile and I send it right back.

"Well, you heard the man. Hurry up get this game over with Lacey so we can catch up afterwards."

Maddie starts down the aisle and I sprint to catch up with her.

"Actually, me and Elias have plans tonight."

Maddie whips around and lifts a suspicious eyebrow.

"What kind of plans?"

"The I'm-too-embarrassed-to talk-about them kind?"

Maddie's eyes grow to the size of softballs.

"Wait--for real? As in bow-shicka-wow-wow plans?"

I don't answer her. My face catches fire instead. And then Maddie loses her mind. Completely. She squeals like madwoman and then does a little Maddie dance next to the bus driver who's totally unamused.

"Shhh! You can't tell anyone, okay? This is a big deal for me, Mads."

"It's a big deal for me too! How did--when did you guys decide to finally--you know?!"

She waggles her eyebrows at me which doesn't help ease the embarrassment I'm already drowning in.

"Like, today. I mean we've wanted to for a while but Elias wanted me to be 100% sure--and I guess I am."

Maddie's eyes well up all over again.

"I'm so proud of you. I mean if your dad ever finds out he's going to murder you both but I will happily hold him at bay if/when that happens. Scouts honor."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

The two of us step off the bus arm-in-arm and strut towards Cardinal's softball stadium slower than Coach Calloway would probably like us to. But we're making up for lost time. Time I have 

every intention of getting back all summer long. 

Once we reach the locker room door, Maddie's a blubbering dramatic mess all over again.

"Do you have to play today? Can't you skip the whole championship thing and girl talk in the stands with me until your prince comes to get you?"

I break out into the kind of carefree laugh only Maddie is capable of bringing out of me.

"I would love that. But I made a commitment. Ever since you left the team I've become the official bench warming support system for the other girls."

"You're still a benchie?!"

"Kind of. Coach let's me pinch hit sometimes and he's had me in the battle cages lately to help me improve overall. Who knows? I might surprise everybody today and hit a home run."

Maddie smirks at me like a hobgoblin.

"Yeah, you will. And I better get all the dirty deets after it all goes down. I might be a recently reinstated best friend, but I still am entitled to your secrets."

"True. But honestly, Mads no one can find out. Elias and I are actually planning on sticking around school after the game so--if anyone you know tries to go back to campus, can you discourage them for me? We'd really appreciate it."

Maddie straightens up and throws me a crooked salute.

"You've got it, Lace-face. I'm the queen of keeping secrets. I couldn't work for a certain school tabloid otherwise."

It takes me a second or two to process everything Maddie's saying, but when it hits me I gasp loudly enough to startle a pair of students passing by.

"You work for the Daily G? Are you serious?"

"See? You're not the only one living a double life."

"I knew you'd be perfect for the job! Which posts are yours?!"

"SANDERS, LOCKER ROOM NOW!"

Coach Calloway's voice comes booming from behind the locker room door and startles the both of us. Maddie whisper-mocks Coach Calloway and then pulls me into a parting hug.

"You should go. I don't want you running death laps on my account. Let's catch up tomorrow, okay? I'll bring all the gossipy good stuff along for the ride. But you owe me a sexcapade play-by-play in return, okay?!"

I squeeze the life out of Maddie and silently thank God for giving me my best friend back.

"Scouts honor. I'll call you first thing tomorrow morning, deal?"

"Deal. Knock em' dead out there slugger!" Maddie says and we gradually let each other go.

"Will do."

I wave her off and start down the stairs towards the locker room when she calls out to me again.

"By the way, if loads of people paparazzify you and Elias at the game today that's kind of my fault. I may or may not have instructed the entire school to photograph you so everyone will remember how great you guys are together. But if anybody asks, you didn't hear this from me. Good luck out there, Lace-face. I'll be rooting for you!"

Maddie takes off toward the stands, camera bag flopping at her side, hair flying in the wind long before I can try to thank her. But I don't need to today. Because we'll have tomorrow.

And the day after.

And every summer until we graduate to fall in love with our friendship all over again.

***

Thank you guys so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to share the next one! 

#REALTALKQUESTIONOFTHEWEEK

1. Do you think Maddie can be trusted? If so, why? If not, why not?