CHAPTER 63

Lacey 

When mom was still here, she used to wax poetic about bits and pieces of my future. 

Whenever we'd take long drives on the freeway, she'd spend long stretches on the 5 North pre-picking out my dresses for junior and senior prom. I wasn't very good at playing along. Not because I didn't like imagining those things, but because they felt impossible and impossibly far off.

Out of reach.

Like Mom would eventually be.

But as awkward and skeptical as I was during all those conversations, my favorite part was listening to Mom's predictions about who'd take me to my first dance, who'd give me my first kiss, who'd steal my heart for the first time.

Unsurprisingly enough, the future boyfriend she always had in mind for me was a sandy blonde Mission Bay athlete—aka a modern rendition of my father. I'd call her out on her more than obvious Dad-bias and cringe at her comments through the rearview.

I remember telling her that I'd never fall for a Mission Bay boy just to prove a point. To be different. To show her that I'd eventually be capable of some tiny form of rebellion once I breezed past thirteen.

But as much as I expected to prove her wrong, her predictions proved to be partially right today.

Did I fall for a sandy blonde athlete? Not at all.

But the boy who's leading me out toward the ocean with his kind and careful hand in mine, is mine because of Mission Bay. A school I desperately didn't want to go to. One with a legacy in my family I didn't want to inherit or repeat. But despite all of its flaws, I'm thankful that it brought me to him. That it gave Elias and I the space to find and lose each other in the middle of all of its chaos.

As hard as so many of our days there have been, all of them were worth it for this one.

"Eyes closed, Lacey! If I catch you peeking, I'll throw you in the water without thinking twice about it."

"I promise I won't look until you say so."

"Atta girl."

"Just don't drown me, okay?"

"Roger that!"

I stumble after Elias, trying not to trip over my feet as I follow his lead through the warm sand. I've been loosely blindfolded since we left Kyle and Ava's beach shop under Elias's very strict orders. During the car ride over, he blasted every last one of the Foo Fighter's greatest hits so I wouldn't hear where we were going. But that's the thing about San Diego, the ocean's always within earshot, always lulling somewhere in the background.

Despite Elias's efforts, the closer we got to the shoreline, the easier it was to partially figure out his final surprise. I don't know where he's taking me or if I'll end up in the water whether I decide to peek through this blindfold or not, but right now I'm choosing to trust him. All the way through the dark.

Elias suddenly releases my hand and leaves me standing on my own without saying another word. I tense up as seconds stretch out far enough to feel like minutes and the only sound I hear is the ocean.

I call out to Elias as a slow panic rises in my throat. I wait for the calming reassurance of his voice, the rush of his steady breaths, or the sound of his laughter to ripple out into the beachside breeze and put my fears to rest. But this time, relief finds me through the soft brush of his fingertips along the edge of my bare shoulders.

In less than seconds, Elias goes from seeming nearly invisible to being incredibly close. So close that the heat from his body spreads across mine like wildfire. He embraces me from behind and moves in close enough for me to feel the smooth curves of his lean torso against my back.

His bare skin is as dizzyingly warm as his breaths are steady, and for just a second, I lose myself in him. In the wildness of his heartbeat pulsing in and out of time with me. In the strength of his arms as he holds me. In the mix of ocean calm and hurricane wildness that's buzzing through his veins.

For a moment, I exist wholly and completely in him.

And it leaves me breathless.

And grateful.

And desperate for more of this feeling.

More of him.

But I keep those wants secret. For now.

"¿Estás listo?" (Are you ready?)

I nod as Elias gently tugs at the knot at the back of my blindfold and gradually pulls it away.

"Surprise, Lace."

Stretched out in front of me is a blue and white tie-dyed beach blanket, covered with Spanish-serving dishes filled with Maria's home cooking. The scent of her world-famous paella dances across the breeze and steals the air right out of my lungs.

I remember the first dinner I had at Elias's house. His mother's warmth and unending kindness completely overwhelmed me back then the same way it is now. Maria's dishes are as beautifully presented as the beach-themed decor surrounding them.

The wood pallet table placed in the center of the picnic blanket is surrounded by pastel-colored pillows and matching candle-filled lanterns. My dad always used to say that loving someone was as simple as taking the time to make them realize how important they are. Back then, I didn't understand what he meant.

But now that I'm standing here, fighting back tears over a gesture that I don't feel like I deserve, I understand what my Dad was talking about.

Because for the first time in my life, I feel important to someone.

And that someone means everything to me.

"Elias, this is—"

"Amazing, I know. But it's not totally my work. I gotta give credit where it's due."

Elias steps in front of me, lifts his fingers to his lips, and whistles into the air. By the time I turn around to see just who it is he's calling over, Caleigh and Tanner are already close enough to scoop me into their arms.

I'm immediately caught up in a cloud of their infectious warmth and laughter and somewhere in the middle of the moment, I commit this feeling to memory. Not just because I'm overwhelmed by a kind of happiness I didn't think I'd find again, but because I'm finally remembering how to smile.

My lips lift up at the corners purposefully, earnestly, and honestly and I let them. I don't allow myself to hold back. I don't allow myself to feel guilty. Because after spending years feeling like a girl made of shadows, I'm letting myself take in the light.

"What are you guys doing here? Don't you have class?" I ask, but Caleigh's quick to wave off the question.

"Well, we were told by a certain someone that it was incredibly important for us to be here today, but I'm not gonna name names."

Caleigh nods in Elias's direction which embarrasses him enough for the redness in his cheeks to show through his tan. Tanner catches Elias's reaction, struts over to him, and pulls him into a loving headlock.

"Yeah, this little squirt's been accosting us with his big-time romantic plans for you for weeks. I'm talking midnight calls. Non-stop texts. Being sworn to secrecy. It was nuts, Lacey. If he wasn't dating you, I probably would've reported him."

Elias squirms out of Tanner's grip and shoots daggers at Tanner with a single look.

"You know that my girlfriend is standing right there, right?"

Tanner slips into the kind of lazy knowing smile that's tailor made to set Elias off the deep end.

"That I do, hermano. Look, don't get mad, I'm just keeping it honest. She should know how much you care about her. It's cute in an extreme kinda way."

Elias runs an exasperated hand through his wind-swept hair, glances over at me—totally helpless.

"Lacey, it wasn't—like that. I—"

"Sure it was. I have desperate voicemails to prove it. Wanna hear?"

Tanner whips out his phone and all the color drains out of Elias's face. He panics and scrambles to grab a hold of Tanner's hand, but he's still a few inches shorter than his brother and no match for him in a game of keep away. Tanner taps his screen and Elias freezes when the sound of his voice floats out of Tanner's speaker.

"Hey, loser. Sorry, I'm calling so late, but I just wanted to make sure you and Caleigh are still on for tomorrow. And yeah, I know this is like the 8th time I've checked in today, but I guess I just—want everything to be great for Lacey tomorrow. Man, I don't know what I'm gonna do if she doesn't like what I planned—but even if that happens, please still come. I think if we're all there for her in some way, it'll make the day a little easier. If it were me, I'd need people, you know? Good people, and you guys are pretty decent. At least, Caleigh is. But anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I hope the three of us can make her smile for a little bit. Sounds like it's not a big deal, but sometimes small things are big things, and if we manage that, I'll owe you big time. Just try not to be a dick when you drive down, okay? I love this girl, so I'd actually like to look cool in front of her without you screwing it up, comprende? Aight, I got an early start so, I'll let you go. Later, man."

Elias's face disappears behind his unsteady fingers while the echo of his voicemail hangs in the air. I watch the weight of the moment settle on his broad, tawny shoulders, and the slow rise of his breaths roll through his chest. And in that moment, I quietly decide that this boy, the one who's heart is tattooed on his sleeve, is completely and wholly beautiful to me. I love that despite who people assume he is, that he still allows himself to be vulnerable.

In front of his family. In front of me. He is still the boy who's embarrassed by his older brother, still caring enough to continue to put me first, still romantic enough to spend weeks planning for a single smile.

So I give it to him.

I cross the small stretch of sand standing between us, peel his hands away from his face, and place them onto mine. Elias's stares back at me wide-eyed, red faced, and unsure of how to read my reaction.

So I fill in the blanks. 

I softly press my lips against his and smile so he can feel it. I say a thousand thank-yous without speaking a word. And he hears me. He takes me into his arms, lifts me off the ground, and kisses me. 

With everything he has and everything he is.

And it's more than enough. 

***

Thank you all so much for reading! I love romantic moments and I certainly hope you enjoyed this one! Next update will be in two weeks as per usual unless I make any changes :).  

PS: I'm thrilled to announce that Cheater, Faker, Troublemaker is now out on Yonder! So feel free to check out the series there if you like :). 

#RealTalkQuestionoftheWeek

1. After everything Elias and Lacey have gone through at this point, do you think the two of them are right for each other? 

2. Do you think Lacey is in the right place for a relationship at this stage in her life?