Note: Whether you're a new listener or familiar face, make sure to check out kaelking12's awesome audiobook recording of this chapter! Featuring Conor Maynard & William Singe's mash-up cover of Star Boy.

https://youtu.be/KZ5ciTYM6hE

CHAPTER 3

Elias

I don't know if I'm seeing things, or hearing things, or losing my mind all together, but Trish doesn't hesitate when she reaches down and slides her hand onto the inside thigh of my jeans. 

I freeze and warm up at the same time. My mind darts back to Josh, the only person in my corner, the guy I said I'd never snake a girl from, and I snap myself out of the moment.

"Trish. Please. Stop. Josh'll be back soon, I don't think we should--"

"I saw your Facebook post earlier by the way. This is my response. Don't worry about Josh. Until he officially asks me out, I'm just as commitment free as you are."

"But I--"

The words dry up in my mouth as Trish moves her fingers higher up the length of my jeans like she didn't hear me at all. She keeps going until I'm 100% sure she can feel how badly my body wants exactly what it shouldn't have.

It takes her ten seconds to unbutton the top of my jeans and less than five for me to experience a completely new version of what a girl's lips can feel like. 

I stop thinking, stop breathing, and completely lose myself to a feeling. 

To a girl I shouldn't even be touching, but she's making me greedy. 

I run my unsteady hands through her perfectly soft hair as she picks up her pace. I try to focus on something to keep me grounded--like the front door of the liquor shop where Josh could pop out of any minute, but my eyes haze over as Trish pushes me over the edge.

A new kind of rush explodes in my veins and leaves me weak, breathless, and desperate for her in a way I haven't been for anyone before. Trish lifts herself away from me a little too fast and her warmth follows her. 

I don't want her to stop. 

I don't want this to stop. 

Not the high. 

Not the buzz. 

But the loud ring of the door bell as Josh exits the liquor store sends guilt crashing into me like a freight train.

I move as far away from Trish as humanly possible, button up my jeans, and force myself out of the car right as Josh sidles up to it. I jet over to him and take the two boxes of beer out of his hands like they don't weigh a thing.

"I got it. Where should I put these?" I ask, sounding a little too wired for him to not notice.

"Both up front, just cover them up with my jacket. Oh and uh--can I talk to you about something real quick--"

Shit. Shit. Shit. He saw.

"Yeah, sure," I say, trying my best not to blurt out the truth and ruin the night and our friendship all at once.

Josh throws his arm around me and turns us both around so we're not facing the car.

"Look, I know you're in an anti-relationship thing right now, and I respect that, man. But if I like--started dating Trish, would you be cool? I've been low-key seeing her on and off for the last couple weeks and I'm into her so, I figured I'd ask you before I ask her--you know? You're my best friend, I wanna know what you think first," he says and every part of me wishes he hadn't.

My stomach just about bottoms out of my chest. I don't know what to say. He should know what she said. What we did. What I did. But no matter how badly I want to do the right thing, my mind flips my intentions upside down and takes me back to the rush. 

The thrill of a secret. 

The way my problems disappeared in light of a little bit of danger and a whole lotta risk. 

I should be a better person. I used to be. Back when I believed in fairy tales like good girls and happy marriages. I just don't believe in anything good anymore. Except maybe best friends. But I'm struggling with that too.

I should help my buddy dodge an obvious bullet.

But I can't tell him.

Not right now.

"Go for it, man. Just don't leave me hanging, okay?"

Josh pulls me into a grateful hug that I absolutely don't deserve. It's long enough for the guilt to sink in. The weight of this situation is just so much of too much to deal with right now that I let go first. He pulls away, all smiles, not even catching a glimpse of the truth.

"Don't worry, E. I'll get you your girl. Brothers for life, man, right?"

He turns away from me and heads back to the car and leans in through the back window to talk to Trish.

I stare at him for a couple seconds, thinking about how up until this point, the person that's gotten me through everything since middle school has always been Josh.

It's been J and E.

Him and me.

Me after him. Always.

Everything I know about girls, I learned from him.

He's had my back. Given me advice.

And I followed everything. From how to act. What to say. And he's had his share of chicks and a few years head start when it came to them, so why did it have to be this one?

I love the dude. I do.

But I can't follow him here.

The road's splitting between the two of us with Trish being the reason for the rift.

She's the problem. What kind of girl messes around with best friends that are closer than brothers.

Acting one way with him. And, another way with me.

Hiding her intentions. Twisting the truth. Justifying it. Just to get what she wants.

But--

--then again.

At the same time...

...the scary thing is--

--that's starting to sound a lot like me.

And, at this point, I don't know how far I'd go--

To feel the rush.

To reach a high.

Just to get what I want.

###

Thank you guys so much for reading & listening! A bit of a shorter chapter this time because it's been a busy week recovering from feeling under the weather. Cold/flu season is here (sadly)! Next update will be sometime next week (most likely FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 27!) 

UPDATE SCHEDULE:

The way updates will work from now on is like this...While we always aim to update on a Wednesday and/or a Friday, sometimes there might be slight delays or just one update per week because we want to bring the best work that we can to you guys. We both have full time jobs and we don't want writing & uploading  to become stressful the way it did during Find Her, Keep Her. We're not too sure how many of you guys know this, but both Kristen and myself hit a huge point of burnout last year upon finishing FHKH. 

Writing, recording, and editing are extremely time consuming and we got to a point where each person was sacrificing almost all of their free time to keep updates on a two-a-week basis. We always want to tell you guys these stories in the best possible way we can and not risk quality simply to reach a posting deadline. As artists, our art and your enjoyment of the story takes priority so please understand if over the course of this novel there's a potential delay or an update pops up on Saturday or Sunday instead of Friday etc.

We hope you understand and thank all of you guys for coming along for the ride for this book! We will absolutely let you know if there are any delays coming up so you're not left hanging!

Thank you again!

-Jenny & Kristen