NOTE: Check out this week's fabulous audiobook reading by kaelking12! Intensity and trouble's picking up so you won't wanna miss out! 

https://youtu.be/KGOiGnzR8s8

CHAPTER 16

Elias

Fifteen minutes before kick off, Josh texts Tanner saying he'll meet us outside of the stadium. The parking lot's totally packed as we drive in--a jungle of tricked out cars with mobs of Mission Bay and Cardinal football fans getting their last couple minutes of pre-gaming in before the teams take the field. There's girls everywhere. Half of them walking around snuggled up to guys who are barely sober enough to hold themselves steady.

Every couple we pass snags my attention in all the best and worst ways. I'm half hoping that maybe, by some miracle, me and Lacey will end up like that. Walking around together after the game--getting lost in conversation and eventually getting lost in the night. But then reality reminds me of the moment when I watched her run into someone else's arms, and my confidence crumbles. A little piece at a time.

 Lacey's still someone who could easily turn out to be completely out of reach, off limits, or out of my league. And if that's the case,me being here is a complete waste of time.

I press my face against the back seat window and squint at every face in the crowd, praying that I'll see Lacey walking around on her own instead of attached to some guy from Cardinal. But I can't spot her anywhere, and the worst part is, even if she was standing ten feet in front of me I probably couldn't see her anyway. 

My contacts are still sitting on the edge of my bathroom sink thanks to Tanner rushing me out the door earlier.

Do I have back-up glasses? Yes.

Would I ever be caught wearing them in front of another human being? Absolutely not.

If I have to stumble my way around this stadium and track down Lacey by the sound of her voice so be it. I'd rather take a chance not finding her than actually running into her wearing the kind of prescription that's strong enough to bend the time space continuum.

I glance up into the rearview---the one mirror that's actually close enough for me to see, and immediately start regretting my decision to let Tanner style my hair. It's not that it looks bad, I just look--like him, in that try-hard, too-cool for school kinda way. 

I run my fingers through my overly coiffed bangs and rough them up a little so people don't tag me as my brother's clone. Caleigh catches me in the act and motions me to stop before I can un-Tanner myself completely.

"Hey, what's the rule, E?" She coos.

I couldn't ignore that voice even if I wanted to.

"Don't touch the hair."

"That's right. You look great. Lacey's gonna love it."

If I was a cooler guy, I'd play off her compliment like it didn't just make my heart beat out of my chest a little. But since I'm me, heat spreads out across my body and expands to the point where my whole face catches fire. I don't even realize I'm smiling like an idiot until Tanner start's laughing at me from the passenger's seat.

"Careful, Caleigh. If you keep talking like that, Eli's gonna float out the back window and disappear on cloud nine."

I flatten my mouth into a straight line, ball up my fist, and clock Tanner in his good arm.

"Can you stop? Please. I'm wired enough as it is, and I don't need you making things worse," I say. He keeps on smirking at me regardless.

"Relax, Eli. If she doesn't dig your look today, you can always change it up on the first date," Tanner says.

My look? I'm not the one who suggested that I wear a polo and khaki dress pants to a football game. This outfit would make sense if I was trying out for Model UN, but clearly, I'm not. I feel like an idiot. 

I don't like collars or button-ups or anything that makes me feel like a sardine. Put me in a t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of Vans and I'm good to go. I should've just gone with my gut feeling instead of letting Tanner take over my wardrobe--but now we're here, parking, and there's nothing I can do about it.

Maybe I'll stay in the car.

"Tanner, I'm not gonna get a first date if she mistakes me for a banker. If I get rejected tonight, I'm blaming you," I say.

Tanner half-ignores me and turns his attention out the window.

"You won't know until she shows up. Wait---isn't that her?"

He rolls down the window and points over to a crowd of Cardinal girls headed towards the ticket line. I practically rip off my seat belt and slide across the back seat to get a closer look. A tall, tawny group of blondes are weaving their their way through the lines of parked cars arm in arm. None of them look even close to Lacey--at least until I see the girl Tanner's pointing at. 

Standing at the far end of the group is a brunette wearing an orange and blue sports bra and daisy dukes, smiling into her phone like she's talking to someone special. Her face is half-hidden underneath a baseball cap, and no matter how badly I don't want this to be Lacey, I keep staring until I'm sure. She tilts her head back when the person on the other end of the phone makes her laugh, and the wild panic in my chest settles a little bit.

It's not her.

It's not---

"Psyche!"

"What the hell, man? You know I can't see when I'm like this! I genuinely thought it was Lacey!"

"And----that's exactly why it was priceless. You went full on gringo when you looked out that window, Eli! This is great."

Tanner bursts out laughing and it takes everything I have not to climb into the front seat and knock his jaw backwards. This is exactly why I've never wanted to be around him buzzed, drunk, or anything in between. As soon as we got to Caleigh's place, he handed her the car keys and started his own personal pre-gaming party before we hit the road. She tried to warn me about the guy Tanner turns into at Homecoming on the drive over. 

She's seen my brother act like this for three years straight, so I guess it doesn't bother her anymore. But it bothers me.

Tanner barely drinks. Sure, the occasional beer or two at his friend's kickbacks, but I've never seen him anywhere close to wasted. But then again, he's an athlete. He likes football games and school spirit and everything I don't, so I guess this night actually means something to him. Caleigh made no promises about getting me back home after the game.

Apparently, people split off and walk to the house parties that are close to campus, so no one has to drive. If things with Lacey don't pan out, I'll probably end up tagging along with them---which I have zero desire to do. Ever. Especially if they're both drunk and hornier than they already are when they're sober. Yeah. No thanks.

I lean into the front seat, flip Tanner the bird with one hand, and grip Caleigh's shoulder with the other.

"I can't stand him anymore, so--I'm gonna go find Josh. Text me if you need anything. And don't let him get too sloshed, okay? He'll lose all his friends," I say.

She ruffles my hair and shoots me one of her million dollar smiles.

"Roger that. Good luck tonight. I wanna hear all about Lacey when you get back."

And just like that I'm hoping again.

"I will. I promise. Got any last minute tips for me, Ms. California?"

Caleigh narrows her Pacific blue eyes for a couple seconds and then settles her gaze on me.

"Be this guy," she says.

"What?"

"Be the guy who's in front of me right now. The cute, shy, heart-on-your sleeve smiling kid, who's a little unsure of everything."

"Why would I want to do that? She's not gonna wanna date a loser, Caleigh."

"Is that really how you see yourself?"

I don't answer her. I don't have to for her to hear me.

"You know, the first time I met you--you were this wide-eyed, cherub-faced kid, with the biggest heart who acted like his only job in life was to take care of everyone around him. Especially his big brother--"

"True facts!" Tanner says. Caleigh shushes him quiet.

"--you weren't worried about being popular at school or coming off any different than who you were--and that's why it was so easy to like you. You're a lover, E. You pour your heart into the people you care about and that doesn't make you a loser, that makes you a man."

"You think so?"

"I know so. Just go out there and be the you I know, okay? That's all the wisdom I got."

And that's all the wisdom I need.

###

I step outside of Caleigh's car and the air's electric--alive in ways that I've never felt walking through the school halls day to day. After Tanner's accident, just trying to force myself to get up in the morning was hard enough. I didn't wanna be in class or around anyone on campus any longer than I had to. But tonight's different. 

Maybe it's Homecoming. Maybe it's the idea of seeing Lacey. But even though I'm walking through a crowd of people I've spent two weeks avoiding, right now, I'm okay with being here.

And I think that's a good thing.

A clique of letterman wearing Mission Bay football goons shove past me from behind and nearly break their necks turning backwards to stare me down. Probably Trevor's ex-crowd. Whatever. I'm not here to make friends. 

I slow my pace until they're a ways ahead of me and wait until they eventually disappear into the flood of sport fans streaming toward the stadium. Everywhere I look, people are wearing some version of the Mission Bay Warriors' famous red and whites. Jerseys, tank tops, face paint--the works.

I wish loving this team was that easy. That I could just get caught up in "school spirit" and go running into the football stands like sports actually mattered me. But any hope of living out a normal freshman year went out the window when Trevor put my brother in the hospital. 

No matter how many weeks it's been, every time I see school colors, all I think about is that locker room. The blood red streaks running down Tanner's face instead of the Warrior paint on the wall. The sound he made when Trevor twisted his arm backwards. The way him and Marcus's bodies looked sprawled out on those pristine white tile floors.

Ninth grade hasn't started off with the kind of memories I'm interested in keeping. But I'm hoping I'll change some of that tonight.

"He lives!"

A couple steps away from the stadium entrance, Josh comes stumbling through the crowd right toward me--eyes glazed and focused on nothing in particular. He throws his arms out and traps me in the kind of bear hug that could crack a guy's ribcage if he put his mind to it.

"Easy, J. I missed you too, but you're killing me, man. I know you're bummed about your parents keeping you off the field tonight but, don't get too crazy," I say, and Josh eventually loosens his grip.

"Too late!"

He backs away from me and lets out a sloppy laugh that doesn't sound anything like him.

I've known the guy long enough to recognize when he's blitzed out of his mind. But, tonight, he's on a whole different level. I mean, I get it. His parents pulled him and Marcus out of homecoming 'cause they were worried about the heat off Trevor's case causing problems on the team--problems as in--Trevor's boys not covering either of the Morales brothers on the field.

Coach can stop the guys from acting out off the field, but when they're on the green, taking out grudges is easy to hide. Accidents aren't accidents if they're caused on purpose.

But even knowing all that, Josh is still having a hard time not being with the boys tonight. He's just trying his best to hide it behind a buzz.

He pulls a multi-colored can out of his pocket and throws back a mouthful of 4 Loko which sets off more than a few alarm bells.

Sure, Josh likes to party, but he's careful about what he messes with. He rolls his own blunts, only takes drinks from Ricky or other people he knows, and never really goes off the rails. He knows how to have fun--but not the kind that comes with 4 Loko. 

Tanner was the one who warned me about that drink, said it was like taking a Redbull, mixing it with ten beers, and smashing it into a single can. I don't know how many Josh knocked back before I got here, but it's barely even kick off, he's way past his limit, and I don't even have to ask to know the reason why.

Trish appears at Josh's side, equally trashed, and offers me a can with a double-edged smile. She's wearing less than she ever has in public which makes me wonder who she's putting on a show for. Her see-through tank top only draws more attention to the bright red bra she's wearing underneath the fabric. 

It's weird thinking that I would've been totally into this look on her a couple weeks ago. Some stupid part of me still is, so I stop looking at her before I regret anything more about this girl than I already do.

"Wow. Someone dressed up. Is there a reception after the game I don't know about?" She says and then goes right back to chewing her beer-soaked bubble gum loud enough to get under my skin.

"I'm meeting a girl actually. You know how it is, T. Special clothes for a special occasion."

Trish balks at me but is quick to recover when Josh nearly catches her losing her cool.

"That's sweet. I didn't know a hit and quit counted as a special occasion when it came to you. What number is she again?"

I force out a laugh and blow off the comment like I'm not seconds away from losing control. She's begging me to. Testing me into giving her an excuse to air out our secrets. But I'm not bending that easy. I mold the corners of my mouth into a smile, cock my head to the side, and stare down at Trish until she feels as small and petty as she is.

"Like I said, she's better than that. I guess it takes meeting the right person to know the difference."

Trish's face contorts itself out of shape, and if it weren't for Josh stepping in between the two of us, she might've actually been the one to snap first.

"Hey, relax, you two. Make love, not war. Am I right?" He says, and then kisses the top of Trish's head to calm her down. She grabs Josh by the waist and kisses him back, but there's nothing but anger behind it. No part of this relationship is about him. It never has been. And I've gotta tell him before she breaks his heart.

Josh unsticks himself from his girlfriend, throws an arm over my shoulder, and then pulls me back into the same old trio situation that I can't stand.

"So, what's this I'm hearing about a girl, E? You disappear for two weeks, come back with a new chick, and I don't even know her name? Spill it, bro!"

For a couple seconds, it almost feels like it's just me and Josh again. The two of us heading out to another one of Marcus's football games like we used to in middle school. We'd sit in the stands, stuff our faces with whatever junk food we could afford out of the vending machine, and watch his brother make a name for himself on the field. That might've been the last time I actually liked being at a place like this. Right now, even though Lacey's still on my mind, I'm starting to regret coming, and that regret has everything to do with Trish.

"Hello? Earth to E-man? Do you copy? I asked you a question!" Josh slurs and then loosely snaps his fingers inches away from my face. I didn't even realize I hadn't said anything. I paste on a smile and go back to pretending like things are okay.

"Sorry, I was just---"

"Thinking about your girl?" He teases. He's not wrong.

Trish whispers something under her breath, but I try not let it get to me.

"Yeah. Her name's Lacey. I met her a couple weeks ago, and I've been trying to find her ever since. She goes to Cardinal so--s-she should be here tonight."

Trish steps away from Josh and makes her way over to me without any warning. She slings her thumbs through the belt loops of her jeans and stares at me with a new kind of ugly confidence scrawled on her face.

"That sounds adorbs, but--why don't you just call her? If she's that important, then you should already have her number, right?"

"Don't worry about it. I will after tonight. Actually, I was hoping your boyfriend could help me find her. He used to be a pro at picking out a pretty face."

Three volcano veins erupt through the surface of her skin and bulge out over her right eye. She tries to blink away her irritation, but it's too obvious for her to shake.

"Oh, he still is. I'm pretty sure I'm proof of that."

"Depends on who you ask."

"Woah. What is with ya'll right now?! There's like way too many negative vibes going around for Homecoming. Eli, you need a drink. Trish, you need another drink. And once everybody's happy, we'll go get little miss Juliet! You gotta picture of this girl?"

I hand Josh my phone which Trish intercepts without batting an eyelash. Josh doesn't seem to mind, but I have to shove my hands into my back pockets to keep from snatching it away from her. Trish stares at Lacey's picture for a couple seconds and then gasps so loudly that a group of passing Cardinal kids stare in our direction.

"Shut up! I totally know her. I'm pretty sure she's in homeroom with a couple of my friends over at C.A. I wish you'd said something to me earlier, Eli--"

Stop calling me that.

"--I would've gotten you her number a long time ago. But since you're desperate---let me text some peeps, and if I get an answer, we can go look for her at half-time together. Deal?"

Trish extends a hand but the smile that comes with it turns my stomach inside out. I don't make a move in her direction but then Josh starts nudging me to play along with Trish like she's someone worth trusting.

"C'mon, E. This might be your big chance. Trish is one hell of a match maker and I gotta good feeling about this one--"

I did too. Until Trish got involved--everything was fine. Just fine.

"--so let's drink to Lacey!"

Josh jogs over to his cooler and grabs one too many cans of 4 Loko to celebrate. He waves me over, shoves two in my direction, and waits for me ease up and cave into a bad decision like I always do. I hesitate. Wondering if taking the edge off this situation will make meeting Lacey easier---or screw things up completely. 

But then again, if I'm anything like my father, two drinks won't do anything but help me relax a little--and I need to calm down. Trish has me rattled. The night's making me nervous. And I'm running out of ways to talk myself down.

Just two drinks.

I'll stop after that, 'cause I'm doing it for her.

Not for Trish.

Not for Josh.

Not for me.

For Lacey.

####

Thank you guys so much for reading/listening this week! It has been awesome seeing so many new faces in the comments as both kaelking12 and I really enjoy reading them! I'm working on getting back to as many as possible so don't be shy! Next update should be on FRIDAY, JAN 10th! See you then!