Floating. Taehyung is floating. In the barrier of the day he doesn't know anything. Just knows that in this moment all he is aware of is that he tries to think of a purpose, of a reason for still trying. When his phone vibrate against his fingers he can't find any.

He didn't check his phone periodically throughout the day. A slight tremor in his hands every time the messages and calls vibrate into his skin. It's left unread.

He make an effort not to be hostile but within his mouth there is an aftertaste of void and his heart keeps tightening painfully. But Taehyung had learned to swallow it down, that when it starts to hurt he never let's it leave past his lips.

The bed grows colder by the day. His steel aching fingers are stuffed under his oversized hoodie, the inside of his body is starting to feel a bit chilly. Taehyung have always been good with the cold. But the tremble never came with it.

He trusts to fast and sometimes he thinks it's his biggest mistake.

Incoming call

Maybe it would be easier to tell the truth. He wonders if he should ask Jeongguk on what happened one year ago. About the reputations and about Hyun. Tell him that sometimes he trembles at night, that when it's dark and he lays in bed he thinks of him.

That he feels like thirteen again. In a world where he gets pulled down everytime he tried to say something.

He thinks of how it would be if he could tell Jeongguk that he's scared. That Taehyung is really, really so scared. And that it hurts, the kind that tells him that no matter what he does things won't fall into place.

But they're all just excuses and the truth is that he's scared to do anything. Scared to turn around and find that there really isn't anything left for him to salvage. That there'll be nothing left but an endless rope of pulling. What if looks back and Jeongguk isn't there.

When calls and texts keep coming in Taehyung gets terrified.

He swallows before turning his attention back to the present when a knock firmly plays on the wooden door. "come in"  Taehyung shouts before the door swings open and he's met with his mom. A plate of perfectly cut apples in her hold.

Her face puzzled when she lays down the plate, "There's a tatted guy outside our porch struggling with a puppy in his hands, do you know him?"

Taehyung instantly gets up to a sitting position, wobbles sideway when he   steadies himself. eyes wide and imploring as he goes over every possibility on who it may be. The possibility of exactly who he think it is when he's instantly up on his feet.

The fear in him turns into a series of warmness.

"Tae your apples"

"I will eat later!"

The moment that Taehyung storms out of the bedroom, he bolts right down the hallway. This time when he walks out and sprints down his steps he doesn't wear pyjamas, he doesn't feel his heart break like that night and when he opens the door he expects Jeongguk to stand against the familiar motorbike.

And he does. But the dark haired boxer, with the wide planes of his tattoos, covered with intricate swirls out behind his short sleeved black shirt is holding into the cutest puppy in his hands. With a great amount of space of discomfort and a unpleased frown when he keeps barking.

In that moment Taehyung, once again, completely stops when he tries to walk over.

The pavement rattles into his body and he's already feeling a little overwhelmed. He's not sure what to do now. That when he takes another step forward, face falling under the influence of comfort, he never knows what to do when he sees Jeongguk.

How does a simple boy make him feel so happy.

"J-Jeongguk" Taehyung tries, It's like a confirmation that Jeongguk really is here. Before him, holding into the small dog who consists more of brown fluff than a body. Hears his heart thudding loudly in his ears and oh, he's here. Jeongguk is here just when he needs him the most, just when he least expect him to here.

But it's too much and Jeongguk is too much. Too overwhelming. Too perfect.

Jeongguk's strain eyes fall on him, gaze impassively familiar to something he can't petrify. Then slowly, a mumbled "You said you like dogs.."

Jeongguk's discomfort on his face grow narrow the moment Taehyung hesitantly, unsteady takes the puppy out of his hands with shaky fingers.

And he doesn't realize he's out of words when he tries to speak. Because Taehyung is a fool who doesn't know how to react properly from someone who he never learned to understand.

It's hard understanding the way Jeongguk is always able to leave him floating.

"Ggukie I-" Taehyung's rambling between his fit of smiles when he holds the dog so close "Don't you have a match to go too?and you hate dogs"

Jeongguk's hand had found itself behind his nape, looks away for once from him before they shift towards the ground. Taehyung wonders how his mom thought Jeongguk looked like bad news.

Maybe it's just him who sees it. Sees this Jeongguk "it's in a bit"

Jeongguk's doesn't say more, it's hard to say more. He doesn't tell Taehyung that he came here because maybe he just needed to see him before anything, doesn't tell him that he had overheard Hoseok talking to Yoongi that giving gifts in a relationship makes them happy.

He doesn't tell that he just wanted to see that smile of Taehyung's again. That it's all he wants to see right now.

"Gguk it's so cute," Taehyung stops in the mid. Looks unsure when his eyes shift to the collar of the pup. Instantly, Taehyung's eyes turns from bright to widened "Jeongguk did you steal this puppy?!"

"It was outside in the streets"

Jeongguk argues stiffly, sounds visibly offended like he's being accused of something he didn't do when there's clearly a collar belonging to someone.

Taehyung return his gaze to Jeongguk when they run over the name tag with an adress. Instantly gaping "You can't steal a puppy! their owner will be really worried about them"

Jeongguk frowns, jaw snaps shut. Irritation pricking at his skin.

There's an underlying tone of anger and maybe it's the build up of being disappointed he couldn't do anything right this time either. Not when he's short on money and his repulsive thinking of seeing Taehyung took over it.

Taehyung turns back and is about to give another uncalled retort but Jeongguk has already slinked away his gaze, looking rather embarrassed about the whole situation when he tightens his jaw.

Taehyung blinks. Opens his lips and then closes them again. Because Taehyung is an idiot who doesn't know how to act towards someone who never learned about relationships and the difference in stray dogs.

When he sees that frown on the boxer's face he slowly allows himself to move forward. A smile plasted on his face and a chuckle almost leaves past his lips at Jeongguk's attempt of stealing a dog.

Jeongguk is too perfect.

Jeongguk tense up when he feels Taehyung's hand constrict over his hard jaw, his sharp eyes finally turning to him and this time they are to close to his.

"Jeongguk" Taehyung starts, his name rolling of his tounge so softly that Jeongguk's eyes run over them. Over his smile "You don't have to give gifts in a relationship"

Close like this Taehyung is afraid of how much he's falling. He wants to stay like this. If he could, if he was allowed to now he would let himself be closer.

"I don't need them to be happy and you know that" Taehyung says it and he means it. Jeongguk should know that what makes him smile is seeing him alone.

But he doesn't say that. They both don't say much.

Jeongguk looks at him in such an incredibly dangerous way. He doesn't know how long he can handle it when he doesn't break his gaze once.

Taehyung thinks, when he looks into Jeongguk's dark eyes he has learned now to read behind them. That the way his jaw clench under his fingers are of the way he's not pleased on not being able to do things for him.

Jeongguk chides "If I win today I think I will have enough saved up to buy you one" Jeongguk's words stiffen and Taehyung never deserved Jeongguk.

"No you can't take your saved up money okay? And you can especially not steal puppies either" Taehyung can't help the giggle that escapes past his lips, and Jeongguk can't look away.

"It was in the street"

"Ggukie, just put him back where you found him okay?" Taehyung looks at Jeongguk, chuckles lightly. His heart a pitter-patter of rain in his chest. Like there's a way for him to take all the bad and let himself be able to function in presence of another. Maybe it's okay. Maybe.

Behind this wall Taehyung learns that Jeongguk wants to try for him. Maybe once, he is able to ask all the things he wants to say. But not now, not when Jeongguk is so close yet so far away.

Jeongguk still seemed to have that permanent scowl on his face.

For a moment, Jeongguk's expression doesn't change. But when he finally looks up at him again, there's the way Jeongguk's tense jaw against his hand relaxes in the presence of Taehyung.

Because Jeongguk has never given anyone free access to himself. That when he looks at Taehyung his gaze is no longer cold and his words aren't malicious. It makes Jeongguk feel out of his own element because no one else have this calming effect on him. And Oh Fuck- is it terrifying.

"I need to leave for the match"

Jeongguk finally says. his words come unbothered, even though they are far from that.

Taehyung nods softly "Yeah" before breathing out lightly. But Jeongguk doesn't make any attempts on leaving.

Against Jeongguk's touch Taehyung smiles. Comfortable in the fact that there are a lot of things that they don't have to say but understand. Silent awareness that passes between them; that only they are able to finally learn to understand. It feels so okay.

Instead he feels himself freeze up a bit when Jeongguk's fingers slowly come up to cover his own against his jaw. Caressing them softly against his own.

Taehyung thinks Jeongguk is trouble. But so is Taehyung. They both have that effect on each other.

That in the narrow of another day, behind unfenced rooms Taehyung will be able to get closer, wait for a sign that tells him there will be something to illuminate the way of closing the space.

But Taehyung is so scared.

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