28th July, 2018

  "Charity does not decrease wealth. No one forgives, but Allaah increases him in honour, and no one humbles himself before Allaah but Allaah raises him in status." 

[Muslim] 

Chapter 48:

What's your destination?

When Anabya stepped in the grand haveli, she was met with a five year old in action as he pulled the trigger of his gun, a stream of water emerging out, targeted at Shamaaz. The startled guy looked on as water dripped from his face and trickled down his chest.

"Faiz," he groaned, staring at the culprit as his mum hurriedly passed on a napkin to her guest, apologizing on her son's behalf.

"That's for not taking me with you to the World Cup," he justified, hands on his hips.

Oh, let's have a round two in my name, then, Anabya thought to herself.

Without notice, Shamaaz lunged forward and carried the little boy, turning him upside down as he dipped him in air, while Faiz screamed and giggled.

"Chachu, put me down!" He laughed, and Shamaaz swayed him further, and turning to Anabya, Faiz's young grandmother, Nahida said,

"Come, my dear, freshen up and join us for lunch, this Chachu and nephew are always like this, nothing new."

Anabya smiled in reply and followed them inside, marveling the picturesque vintage touch of the entire haveli. From the rosewood sofas, to the corner tables and age old grandfather clock, from the little courtyard in the middle overlooking the sky to royal curtains and antique chandeliers, the haveli screamed simplicity tinged with the age old pride of culture in its architecture and design.

Admiring the details, by the time Anabya returned after freshening up to join them for lunch, she felt a tad bit conscious considering that Dadi Masi's son and grandson, Niaz and Haneef had joined them.

However, Dadi Masi wasn't the kind to make her guests feel out of place, and as they consumed the delicious home cooked food, she made sure their meals were accompanied with a steady chatter so Anabya could feel at home.

She was in the middle of accepting a second serving of food when Haneef asked his cousin, "So, Shamaaz, how's married life treating you?"

"Good question, beta," Dadi Masi complimented, "But I think Anabya must be asked the question, look at this guy, he looks happy, he's got the perfect wife, obviously married life is treating him well."

"I agree, Dadi Masi," Shamaaz said, finding the positivity in her sarcasm. "Bya was my choice, then how can you expect anything less from your grandson's wife?"

"I'm not even surprised to find out today she was your choice, always knew Tanzila couldn't get a daughter in law like this even if she went around hunting." Smiling sweetly to cover her brutally honest opinion, she continued, "Anabya, is this boy being a badtameez or does he treat you well?"

"Umm..." Anabya dragged, finding it strange to answer a question like that in front of an unknown audience.

"Leave my wife alone, Dadi Masi," Shamaaz said, taking a spoonful of rice, "She's very shy."

Shy? No way, she was keeping quiet because her answer to that question was endless.

"We're very glad to have you as a part of our family, Anabya," Nahida Aunty smiled, "So please feel comfortable, I hope you'll enjoy your stay with us."

"In sha Allah, Aunty," Anabya nodded. "I'm glad Shamaaz decided to come here for the weekend, it's a beautiful place and I'd love to spend time with all of you," she replied kindly, the hour's chatter finally melting a bit of the ice.

Once they had finished, Anabya handed over the little goodies she had brought for them, while Dadi Masi said, "You two must be tired, you'll started early, why don't you go and relax for a bit and I'll meet you after my nap?"

"Dadi Masi, all of this is nothing, I'm trained for stuff like this. I'm not even tired, and I exert more energy in my gym sessions."

"Yes, yes, Shamaaz, we know all about your 100 pushups and exercises that consist of lifting tones of weight, you only mention it a hundred times a day, nothing big," Dadi Masi replied.

"I wasn't specifying it but now that you mentioned it..."

"Does he help you that enthusiastically around the house too, Anbaya? I'm sure all he does is sleep at home, but outside he pretends to be some superman."

"I'm amazed by the fact that you know him so well," Anabya answered, smiling coyly.

"Women are liars! I'm out of this," he said, shaking his head while the old lady laughed and stood up, and sauntered to her bedroom with the help of her walking stick.

On the way, just before taking her final step to her room, she said,

"Oh and by the way, Shamaaz, today's Saturday, I hope you know what that means."

"And what does that mean?"

"Boys of the house will be cooking dinner tonight," she grinned just as his face turned remorseful. "Anabya, in case you're wondering why Shamaaz looks this disappointed, we have a rule in this haveli. In order to appreciate the efforts women put in even if they don't go out to work, every Saturday boys cook dinner while the women sit back and watch. Sometimes it turns out good, sometimes it's a disaster," she explained and walked out.

Anabya turned to look at Shamaaz and laughed at his expression, wondering how this cheerful boy had become so grumpy!

Seeing her amusement, he rolled his eyes and stood up, coming out of the shock that Dadi Masi gave him.

"Come, Bya, time for our nap, too, it's going to be a terrorizing night for me," Shamaaz said, taking her to their room and once she was done giggling at his dramatics, she stated, "Dadi Masi is wonderful, so wise, so smart, ma sha Allah. May Allah bless her."

"Aameen. You know, I see your future self in her."

"What?" Anabya asked, smiling in confusion.

"What what? You're a younger version of her, smart, wise and a total savage. When we grow older, you'll probably behave the same way with our grandchildren."

"Woah, woah, slow down," Anabya hurriedly replied.

Was he seriously talking about their grandchildren when Anabya was literally taking one day at a time with him and hadn't even thought about their children?

"Just stating the facts, babe, no need to be shy."

"Stop saying that, I'm not shy," she countered.

He pecked her cheek and grinning at her expression, he replied, "I'd beg to differ."

"Whatever, Shamaaz," she mumbled, turning around as she walked to the window and while she was admiring the view, he said,

"Come, let's lie down for a while, you must be tired."

"No, you sleep, I don't feel like."

"No, come here."

"I'm not coming."

"Bya..."

"Shamaaz..."

"You could definitely do with a nap."

"I don't want to."

He waited for a few seconds before saying,

"Look at this place, it has so many old houses surrounded by a million trees everywhere, there would also be numerous colonies of Jinns, don't you think?"

"Way to ruin my mental peace, Shamaaz," she reprimanded, facing him as he shrugged and pulled the comforter over him.

"I'm just warning you, don't go wandering into the woods all alone, call me if you ever wish to explore."

"I'll read ayat al kursi and be fine, thank you," she countered.

"Fine, you can do as you wish but I was doing my job. For example, maybe a Jinn will fall in love with you seeing you standing by a window all alone, you never know."

"Oh my God stop putting these thoughts in my head," she rebuked.

"Babe, I care for you, that's why I'm telling you to come and rest with me," he grinned sweetly and she rolled her eyes, turning away from him yet again to gaze outside.

"I'm not giving into your sweet talk, Shamaaz."

"Everyone's sleeping, Bya, no one's going to come looking for you."

When she stayed quiet, he said,

"Alright, fine, do as you wish."

Pulling the comforter over his face, he closed his eyes while Anabya stayed put in her spot. A few minutes later, out of nowhere, she started hearing the ringing of bells from a distant church and she jumped up, suddenly feeling creepy as she turned around and the quiet bedroom turned eerie.

With steady footsteps, she hurriedly walked to the bed as Shamaaz smirked and  snuggled closer.

"Changed your mind, huh?" He teased.

"Go to sleep, Shamaaz," she mumbled.

"You're too cute, Bya," he grinned.

"Ayat al kursi all the way, Shamaaz, don't think I'm scared," she asserted and he shook his head in amusement, the icy wind filling with warmth as it witnessed their companionship.

***

Anabya woke up to the sound of Asr adhaan, and as she blinked twice, she shivered upon realizing the sudden drop in temperature. She sat up to find Shamaaz by the window and squinted as she saw him talking to people and waving at them.

She walked up to him but quickly ducked back when her gaze fell on the large crowd of kids that had assembled in front of the haveli, and after fetching her hijab, she returned to peek once more.

"I'm coming, hold on," Shamaaz called out to them, and Anabya looked at him, a bit puzzled.

"They kids have come to meet me," he explained, "They must have found out through Faiz that I've come down to pay a visit to Dadi Masi."

"Oh!" She exclaimed.

He walked ahead to fetch his clothes and as he zipped the bag open, Anabya quickly came to stand beside him.

"Don't mess the neatly folded clothes until I put them in the wardrobe, Shamaaz," she ordered. "Tell me what you want, I know what's placed where."

"The Jinn who comes looking for you has competition, I forgot you're already possessed by the jinn of cleanliness."

"These are serious topics, don't make fun," she chided. "And don't creep me out, new places scare me as it is and if you put more ideas in my head, I won't be able to sleep and I'll keep you awake with me."

"I'm here with you, you'll be fine, don't worry," he grinned and she huffed.

"This blue tee is enough?" She asked, neatly removing it from under the stack of his shirts and he nodded while putting it on and walked out to greet the little kids.

She stayed back in the room, tightening her hijab around her as she looked on from the window. She wasn't sure when it happened, but as she witnessed the enthusiasm of the kids, and the charming stance of Shamaaz while he greeted them, spoke to them, signed autographs and interacted, laughing at their jokes, cracking some of his own, her lips curved into a quaint smile, a smile akin to amazement, a smile of happiness upon observing this side of Shamaaz.

She knew him as a celebrity, with fans all over the country, world even, she had also seen him as the ambassador of some of the leading brands, the guy who lived in a swanky apartment and had a vast collection of shoes, but all of these things hardly tallied with her perception of him.

His life was scary and intimidating for someone like her, one that she felt she wasn't used to even six months into this marriage, but it was moments like this, and the moments back at home that really made her survive with him this long. Because at the end of the day, he was just an ordinary guy, who wore his heart on his sleeve, one who found her too complex to be understood, the guy who didn't bother about being told off by his grandmum, and the one was extra careful about hygiene but often times expected her to clean his mess. Above all the glamour and superficial entities the world tied their relationship to, it really just came down to this. She was a simple girl and somewhere, in his heart of heart, that's what he always craved for, despite being extra and dramatic in a lot of matters of his life.

Her thoughts had taken a different route that evening, and something clicked seeing him that way, and maybe it was the place or maybe it was him, but in a very long time, her heart found itself rest as she headed for Salah. With the image still stuck in her mind, she realized that people couldn't be termed as good or bad, but rather an amalgamation of both, and life was all about focusing on the positives and looking past the uncertainties.

And while that was one perspective, she also couldn't deny how blessed some couples were to find partners with the similar balance of these two attributes, instead of lying at the opposite ends of the spectrum.

However, not trying to think deeper into it as it would remind her of all the things that were wrong in her life, she decided to find out the direction of Qiblah in the haveli before engaging in Salah, a conversation where she felt lighter and her good deeds, she hoped, would end up weighing heavier.

By the time the sun dipped and the moon lit the sky, Anabya had learnt that the people in this house were highly disciplined, because while their timings of dinner varied back home, the rule of this haveli was that everyone would pray Isha Salah immediately after the call of prayer and then gather for dinner.

So now, as they sat around the bonfire in the freezing cold courtyard, the men were busy with the barbecue, giving Dadi Masi ample time with Anabya.

"Beta, how are you finding your new life away from home? Is Shamaaz being good to you? And this is my genuine question, so don't hesitate to answer."

Anabya found her lips quiver at the question, and while all she wanted was to narrate the puzzle that was jumbling itself in her mind, swinging between disliking him to finding some of his attributes admirable, she kept quiet. She was silent because people with hearts like hers found themselves too vulnerable to confess the chaos in their minds. And that was their weakness; they'd swallow the poison alone but think twice before raising their concerns.

And so, she replied, "This life is quite different, Dadi Masi, but I'm trying to get used to it. Alhamdulilah for everything."

And while people like Anabya had mastered the art of hiding scars behind smiles, this world also had people like Dadi Masi, people who were adept at treating wounds that hid under the deception of happy faces.

"People in this little town respect me a lot, I've been here for decades, you see. The other day, a mother had come with her daughter who was married a few months back, she wanted me to teach her daughter the virtues of patience and tolerance so she'd take back her decision to divorce her abusive husband. I sent the mother off and spoke to the daughter at length, but throughout our conversation I decided to hear from her end. She told me that he used to torture her emotionally and physically, for reasons as silly as the tea not being hot enough, or the slight crease in his ironed shirt. And other times, he would be extremely nice, bring her gifts and take care of her like she was all that he could think of. What would you suggest in a situation like this, Anabya?"

"Did you tell the girl to be patient and quietly bear her husband's abuse?" Anabya asked, curious. "As for me, I would suggest the opposite. The damage he was contributing to was far more than the good he was doing, and this was a toxic relationship, one that would leave this girl more hurt than she already was."

Dadi Masi nodded and replied, "I understood her side, and when the mother returned, I reprimanded her for being a coward. She was shocked, but there's no other way I could put it. Our society is filled with educated fools, why should we tell this girl to be patient and be tortured for the sake of Allah, when the guy needs the screws in his head fixed? I was very obvious in my advice to the mother. I told her to speak to the guy's parents, see if he was willing to change his ways, if he was deserving of a second chance and if he complied to all this, the girl could be patient and help him out of this destructive behavior, only if he was willing to, and see if this marriage could work, but if he didn't want to fix himself, then the best she could do was to come out of this marriage. No one has the right to force girls to stay in an abusive marriage, and I hope women who come out of it know that they have a bright future ahead of them, they don't have to let this awful experience ruin their life."

Anabya nodded in understanding and Dadi Masi continued, "Beta, marriage needs a lot of sacrifices, a lot of patience, and while I agree it has to come from both sides, initially it may feel like you're the only one making it work, but don't give up before trying, don't quit midway."

"But what if it drains you out completely, Dadi Masi, what if even till the end, you're the only one giving until you have nothing left in you?"

Anabya bit her tongue just as she vocalized her thoughts, reprimanding herself for having gone deeper than she intended.

"Shamaaz is an idiot, beta, I agree, but somewhere he is a good boy. I'm only hoping he will start kindling the flame from his side before you burn out, I have faith in him."

I hope so too, Dadi Masi, I hope he fixes things before it is too late.

Interrupting their conversation, Shamaaz came to sit beside Anabya while he fed her a piece of the barbecued chicken.

"It's not too hot, right?" He asked and Anbaya shook her head, holding his hand as she took a bite.

"Dadi Masi, will you have some?" He asked, as he bit into a juicy piece and the grandma shook her head.

"Been ages since I had chicken."

"You're missing out on the best parts of life, old lady. Who even says no to chicken?"

"Who even says no to desserts?" She asked instead.

"Don't even talk about them, it makes me wonder, Dadi Masi, we desi people are too extra, don't you think? The recipe of gulab jamun makes me go crazy, it's like a group of old ladies held a conference and chose all the calorie dense, fattening, junk products like khoa, ghee, oil, sugar, maida that they were sure was the perfect recipe to ruin your body's system. And then they decided to mix them all together and fried them deeply. Then one lady must have given it a sideways glance, scrutinized it and must have declared, 'Nahhh, this isn't unhealthy enough,' so they dipped them in even more calorie dense sugar syrup. Like what's up women, do you have a word remotely close to healthy in your dictionary?"

Anabya laughed at his description while Dadi Masi said, "Thanks for reminding! Faiz, I have kept gulab jamun in the fridge, go get them for me and your Shamaaz Chachu."

"In your dreams, Dadi Masi, I'm going to eat them in your dreams," he grumbled, making Anabya laugh all the more.

"You like desserts, beta?"

"I love them, Dadi Masi," Anabya replied.

"I'm sorry, had I known before, I would help you find a guy who matched your love for desserts."

"Hey! Don't give her more reasons to regret her decision of marrying me, Dadi Masi."

"So you do think you've already given her enough reasons to regret it?"

"No," he deadpanned, shaking his head. "We're happily married, don't even doubt it, Dadi Masi."

Oh the curse of delusions!

She stared at him for a while and continued, "Don't keep ignoring your problems while living in an illusion, Shamaaz. Take charge before it's too late. Solving problems will make the ride smoother, by digging them underground you are only making your ride bumpy."

"What do you mean?"

"That you are a nalaayak. What do you think, beta?" She asked Anabya.

"Not fair Dadi Masi, you keep calling Bya my child, my child, and you've only known her for a few months, while you are calling me unworthy and you know me all my life."

"I know that's why I'm telling you, beautiful things sometimes happen only once, cherish it instead of leaving permanent scars."

"You speak in riddles, and then expect me to be a genius and understand them. Women are complicated creatures."

She bent forward from her seat and lightly slapped his cheek before saying, "Shamaaz, don't be an idiot. The way I see it, you two come from two different worlds, okay? She's doing her best to fit into yours, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to fit into hers."

Shamaaz looked between Dadi Masi and Anabya and slowly nodded. "Well... Okay? I'll consider that but I love her Dadi Masi, I don't understand why you're reading so much into nonexistent things." And then, he continued, "Haneef Bhai, do you need help, or is it almost done?"

Anabya sighed mentally while Dadi Masi groaned at him, just as the rest of the family members brought more food and joined them on the floor, eating, talking and reminiscing old times.

"Do you know about Ammi and Abbu's story, Anabya?" Niaz Uncle asked, grinning at the smile Dadi Masi's lips curved into.

"I heard about it a few days after I got married, Anabya, and it's the cutest thing ever especially because we don't see so much of this in our generation these days," Sakina replied.

"Really?" Anabya asked, turning to look at Dadi Masi.

"...We used to live in the same chawl, our houses were separated by a wall. I was 12 yrs old when I got engaged, and when your Dada found out, our lives turned into a mess. He begged my parents to break the engagement but obviously they didn't agree, he was a roadman, you know. The odd one in the family of honorable religious scholars. He was good at his family business, in a way responsible too, but he had a loud mouth, did as he liked, made everyone whom he met laugh till their stomachs hurt.

One day he came to my mother and threatened to take me away with him and do a runaway wedding, he put a lot of pressure from his side and in the end, my previous engagement broke and I was fixed to him. Meanwhile, the only hope my parents' had was that I was getting married into a respectful family, and they prayed he could keep me happy and stay true to his promises.

Although it wasn't the kind of marriage I would encourage girls to get into since it's very risky with a lot of what ifs, most of which end up ruining the poor child's life, ours turned out to be the rarest of the rare cases, because he actually stuck to his promise. He used to call me Noorie out of love, and he always kept me in the highest level of his heart, showered me with more love than I had ever received. My happiness was his, my smiles were his, my tears were his. The first time I felt slightly sick after our wedding, he missed work to spend time with me, and refused to leave me until I got better. After a decade, Niaz was born and our life was complete. He changed his ways too over time, was his lively self but became more disciplined. He taught Niaz every little thing that a father must teach his son, taught him to be a good child, a good husband, a good father but above all, a good Muslim. When one day he passed away while returning from work, I was shattered. I didn't see him even as they shrouded him in white, I did not have the courage to. I wanted to remember him as my smiling Sultan, and even now, when I look at the sky, I can see him smiling at me. I have no regrets in this life, he gave me all that I could ever ask for and more, and I only spend my days thanking Allah for all His blessings."

Anabya didn't realize she was crying until a tear trickled down her cheek just as Dadi Masi finished her story.

"Bya," Shamaaz whispered, quickly wiping her tear and passing her a glass of water.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, trying to gather the pieces of her emotional heart.

Dadi Masi wiped her own eyes as she said, "That was our story, and marriages back then had strong foundations. It's sad to realize that these days marriages end soon after the weddings, and sometimes I do understand their reasons, and other times I only hope they'd spend some more time working on their foundation instead of expecting the fruits right away."

"We're making our daughter in law cry, Ammi, not fair," Niaz Uncle spoke while Anabya smiled.

"No, I'm sorry, I just got a little emotional. Dadi Masi's story was beautiful; it's something a lot of us crave for these days."

"Anyways, let's get back to finishing our dessert, and what about you, Shamaaz?" Haneef spoke, looking pointedly at Shamaaz as he tried to lighten the atmosphere.

"What about me? I'll look on as you guys ruin your health."

"Do you want to try it? We made this at home," Sakina offered.

"Thanks Bhabhi, but I'm good."

"Then give me Chachu's, I'll eat on his behalf."

"Of course chotu, take two on my behalf."

They sat there for many minutes after that, and once it was time for bed, Dadi Masi made sure the men cleared up the mess and put away the leftover food all the while as she made the women sit with her and not move an inch, tonight was the guy's duty after all!

And that's how the night went down in memory as a highlight, a time Anabya would look back to when her heart needed assurance that a world as cruel as this had once experienced true love...

The next morning, after Fajr, when Anabya was about to go back to sleep, she was interrupted by an enthusiastic Shamaaz.

"Bya, we're out on a little holiday, we're returning to the city tonight, come on, you can't waste it by sleeping."

"Dadi Masi said we're going to their resort in the afternoon, what do you want me to do now?"

"Come with me, the weather is amazing, let's go on a walk."

"The weather is amazing, let's go back to sleep," she mumbled, pulling the duvet over her.

"Don't be so lazy, I'm going on my early morning run, join me, Bya, there are places I need to show you that you're going to love."

"If you had plans like these you should have told me last night, I'd sleep early."."

"Don't be a spoilsport."

"I've slept only for a few hours."

"You can sleep when we return home tonight."

"Go away, Shamaaz."

He came forward and pulled the duvet off, and Anabya groaned.

"Shamaaz!"

"Bya."

"SHAMAAZ!"

"BYAAA!"

"I'm not coming."

"You'll miss out on a lot of good things."

"I need sleep."

"Babe, all you need is me," he smirked, walked to her and picking her up from the bed, he put her on his shoulder, like a sack of potatoes.

"You have got to be kidding me," Anabya gasped, not expecting such a gesture.

As he began to walk towards the door, Anabya whisper yelled, afraid that residents of the house would wake up because of her husband's childish behavior. "Shamaaz, put me down."

"No."

"Seriously, put me down, I'll come with you."

"Okay then," he beamed, and walked back to the bed and put her on it.

"You are annoying, more than I can explain, do you know that?"

"Yeah, I love you too. Now quickly wear your hijab, we don't want to miss the sunrise."

Huffing and shivering, she first washed her face, quickly put on her Abaya, sweater and hijab and followed him outside.

He was right, though, because had she not accompanied him, she would have missed out on all the magical things this place had to offer.

It was drizzling slightly as they walked between blossomed flowers and lush gardens, making their way uphill.

"This is breathtaking, Subhan Allah," Anabya commented, just as Shamaaz wrapped his arm around her and they walked together, their footsteps leaving imprints in their heart, their eyes content with this beauty covered in layers of fog, their smiles soft and pleasant, warmed with each other's presence. They still didn't know where they were headed, but they were certain that as long as they were together on this journey, they'd discover their destination.