13th February, 2018

It's crazy how many of you asked me for an early update! Not sure if an update within 20 days is early but considering how it's been from the past few months and given my jam packed schedule, I hope it counts as one. ;) JazakAllahu khiaran for all the votes and comments you guys leave me with, they make all the time and effort spent writing worth it <3

"O you who believe! Betray not Allah and His Messenger, nor betray knowingly your Amanat (things entrusted to you, and all the duties which Allah has ordained for you)"

[al-Anfaal 8:27]

Chapter 37:  

Revisiting a Closed Chapter

Anabya turned to look at Shamaaz, each letter of his previous question pounding in her head. She stared at him, a look that clearly conveyed her disbelief and anger for being asked something so outrageous.

Shamaaz, however, matched the intensity of her gaze, confident that he had done nothing wrong.

"How would you answer your own question, Shamaaz?" She asked, unsure how her voice managed to turn out so cold despite the fury bubbling in her.

"Well, I don't know, that's exactly why I asked you," he shrugged, not budging the slightest bit.

"Do you hear yourself right now?"

"It's a simple question," he replied, irking her all the more.

Breaking their staring contest, Anabya turned back in her seat, her fingers linked together in her lap as she stared at them, she blinked furiously to stop any traitors to leave a trail of their rage. She swallowed the lump in her throat but when nothing helped to gain her composure, or stabilize her thoughts that had simply decided to stop making sense, she stepped out of the car, trying to replace the suffocation with some air. 

She could feel her face turn warm while she made her way to the apartment, and she quickly ran a finger under her eye to wipe any telltale signs of wetness. She would never let him see her like this.

She heard the sound of him shutting his own car door, rather more roughly, before she heard heavy footsteps behind her but she most definitely was not going to stop.

"Bya, I'm speaking to you," she heard him say and when he was beside her, and she felt him reach for her hand to stop her in her tracks, she was quick to pull it away even before he could touch her. She was so mad, she couldn't even stand having him close to her, the thought of his touch could combust her. 

She rushed upstairs, not even bothering to wait for the elevators as she took two stairs at a time. She had to do something, anything to get away from him.

Ruled by his own thoughts, and the annoyance of all that happened a few minutes back at the restaurant, Shamaaz was too stubborn to actually make an effort to understand what was going on in Anabya's mind. Thus, clenching his jaw, he simply found his way to his apartment, this time without uttering a single word to her. 

"Anabya, I'm so glad you two decided to come early," was the first thing Tanliza stated and since she was so preoccupied, it took her a couple of minutes to process the statement.

"Yeah," is what she finally managed to utter, forcing a smile as she took a few steps forward while Shamaaz simply went upstairs to his bedroom.

"Some of our family friends are coming over for dinner, and they are really important people. They were not in the country during the wedding so it's the first time they'll be seeing you, make sure you dress well, alright?"

Anabya wanted to cry. She really just needed to be alone in a corner, and truly did not thing she had the energy to fulfill daughter in law duties when her mind was such a big fuming mess.

"Yeah, in sha Allah," she said and although she didn't think she was in the position to, she still asked, "Do you need help, Mummy?"

"Oh yes, there's a lot of work," Tanzila replied and halfheartedly, Anabya stepped ahead to help her MIL.

From supervising the housekeeper to rinsing the new dinner set they were going to use that night, and then marinating the appetizer, Anabya spent more than an hour helping out before Tanzila sent her upstairs to get ready.

When she had just entered, Shamaaz seemed to be proceeding towards the door but changed his mind upon seeing her. Completely ignoring his presence, she freed her hand of the Abaya she was holding in it before walking to the wardrobe.

"For God's sake, Bya, stop acting like this. I don't think the question was something to put you in this mood."

He really did know how to test her patience. So long, she was attempting to remain quiet because she knew her silence was better than anything that would come out of her mouth. For given their current situation, there was every possibility that they would end up in the biggest fight they'd had until date. So she chose to remain silent but would Shamaaz ever understand that?

No. Never.

 "How can I answer your question when I can't even believe you actually asked me something this unreasonable?"

"With the way Fadil was behaving with you, can you blame me?"

"What do you mean?" She asked, scrunching her eyebrows.

"Well, just..." he shrugged, not sure if he could find the right words to explain his thoughts.

"Well just what?" She asked, the reins of her anger letting loose.

"He didn't do anything, Shamaaz, he was only being polite. And yet you'd think so lowly of me for his actions?" She asked incredulously, and immediately she shook her head. "Why am I justifying myself, your question does not even deserve an answer. I can't believe you'd think something like this of me," she repeated, walking towards the wardrobe.

"And after all this, I didn't get my answer," he replied, just to spite her.

She stilled in looking for a suitable dress, and said, "Are you accusing me of harboring feelings for someone else while being married to you?" She asked, disbelief laced in every word of hers. "I did not say I wanted to meet them, it was you who took me. I didn't do anything to deserve such accusations, on what basis did you think it was right of you to ask me such baseless things?"

"You did like him in the past...probably loved him."

Anabya bit her lip to still her heart from pouring its miseries through her eyes.

"I never questioned you about your past, never even brought it up. And yet, you think it's ok to do this to me?" She asked, so utterly shocked that Shamaaz had the audacity to so much as hint at it.  

"You're just being way too dramatic," he huffed, storming out of the room, enveloped in his own insecurities that he'd never admit. On finally being left alone, Anabya slipped to the ground, resting her head on her knees as her tears finally found a route to escape.

She had known for sure that Shamaaz dated Mariam but she had never felt it right to bring it up to him. And here he was asking of her feelings for Fadil when it was just a phase, and in fact even then she had not even taken her feelings for him ahead. He was now married with a baby and she would never again see him like that. In fact, his chapter in her life was closed the day he married Hafsa. Today when they met, she had felt a sense of liberation to see him as nothing more than a friend she once had who was now her husband's best friend. Not once did her mind revisit those days for she was totally over him. And while she had felt a sense of satisfaction, perhaps it was short lived for Shamaaz turned it all upside down.

She was so so hurt, it was probably the first time she felt so disgusted... and just so utterly sad.

It had been a struggle to clear her mind of all these thoughts and pretend like a happily married newly wed. From wearing a pretty does that she had no mood to, to putting on accessories while her smile remain dimmed, all she really wanted was to be left alone. She was still so new to all the house parties and almost always meeting guests who were elite acquaintances of a totally different world than hers, but she realized the only way to live through this was to speak only when required. 

In middle of her thoughts, she decided to peek in the living room and wile doing so, he caught her eye but the minute their gaze met, both of them just turned away, as if the other did not exist at all.

"Why haven't you worn the necklace with this earring?"

"I..." Anabya did not know how to answer it. She had taken the necklace to wear it, but for the life of her, she couldn't hook the two ends together. There was no way she would ask Shamaaz to help her out, given their current state and since Aafia was calling her from downstairs, she simply decided to not wear it at all. She didn't think Tanzila would actually notice though.

"It was taking too long to hook it and I thought the guests had already arrived so I just rushed downstairs."

"But they haven't come yet, have they?" Tanzila muttered. "These women notice everything, what's the point of keeping your jewelry in boxes?"

Anabya wanted to inform her mother in law that she did not really care if they noticed or not, but chose to remain silent. If she was wearing something, it was for her own happiness, not to show it off to the world.

"My hijab anyway covers my neck most of the time, unless I'm opening to retie it, it shouldn't be a problem, Mummy," she said.

"Ya Allah, you don't understand all these things, Beta," Tanzila shook her head, "Go get the necklace, I'll help you with it."

Biting back a comment, Anabya had just proceeded to leave when the door bell rang. "See, they've come," Tanzila said. "Shamaaz," she called, on her way to answer the door. "Go with Anabya to your room and help her with the necklace."

When he just looked at her blankly, she ushered, "Go, what are you waiting for? You don't know how much all this matters, do as I say."

Closing her eyes at the fix that Tanzila had put her into, unwillingly, Anabya headed to her room pretending like Shamaaz wasn't walking right behind her.

Praying fervently, she walked to the dresser and opened the jewelry box, placing the necklace around her neck and hoping to string it together.

After a couple of failed attempts, she found Shamaaz walk towards her. He gently pushed her hands that were trying to hook the necklace and without uttering a word, Anabya let her arms fall to the side, not protesting for there was no time for all of it.

Brushing aside her curls so they neatly rested on her left shoulder, she let him string together the two ends. She was taken aback when instead of struggling to press the tiny hook with his fingers, he was smart enough to use his teeth to tighten it all the more.

She knew he was looking at her in the mirror, but she did not meet his gaze and almost certain that she noticed his lips twitch, he turned around and walked out.

She took in a deepbreath once he had gone and after a few calming seconds had passed, shefollowed him outside,avoiding him completely for the rest of the night as they interacted with theguests and spoke positively every time a question was thrown at their marriedlife. It was only when the couple was leaving with their two children did thelady, Mrs. Farooq rested a tiny box on Anabya's palm. "This is yourwedding gift, sorry we couldn't make it."    

"But Aunty, that's perfectly alright, you don't have to do this," Anabya hurriedly replied, taken aback by the sure to be expensive gift, given the name written on the velvet wrapping.

"Yes, Mrs. Farooq, this is really not required. They just need your duas," Tanzila pitched in but the lady in question shook her head.

"Duas are always with you, may Allah bless your marriage and fill it with love and happiness," she smiled. "But of course, no one tells me a no, you have to keep the gift."

Anabya smiled hesitantly and replied, "JazakAllahu khairan, Aunty, that is very kind of you."

"Shamaaz, you've got a very nice wife here, treat her well, okay?" She patted his back.

For the first time that evening, Anabya looked at him, wondering what kind of a reply he'd give.

"Oh come on Aunty, wouldn't you want to say something along the same lines to Bya?" He asked, playing it cool.

"I don't think she needs to be told, she looks the perfect wife material to me. As for you... Shamaaz," She simply laughed and patted him once more before they bid them goodbye.

"What is it?" Tanzila asked the minute they had left the apartment and Anabya opened the box to reveal a pair of emerald studs.

"Ah, lovely!" Tanzila said taking it form her to admire it. "Don't you think so?"

"Subhan Allah, they're really pretty," she nodded.

"Hussain, go change before you attack all the leftover food," Tanzila chided her son who already had a laddoo in one hand and a chicken skewer in the other. Anabya laughed seeing him, for she too knew the joy of waiting for the guests to leave already so you could attack the food and relish it.

"Do you want something else, Hussain?" She smiled. "Want me get you those cutlets and what about baklawa?" She grinned.

"Can you do that, Anabya Aapi?" he asked, and she laughed at his excitement and went ahead to get him some.

In the middle of wiping the wet crockery, when Tanzila walked in, it took Anabya a long long time to finally tell her MIL what was going on in her mind.

"Mummy?" She called, a bit hesitantly.

"Yes?" Tanzila replied.

"Would it be ok if I spent the night at my place? We were thinking of having a sleepover..."

The sleepover part wasn't confirmed just yet since Tam still had to reply to her message, but no matter what, Anabya didn't think she could survive under the same roof as Shamaaz tonight and had to get away. 

"Yeah no problem," Tanzila nodded and Anabya did a double take. Not bad, she wasn't expecting Tanzila to agree so easily.

"Thanks, Mummy," she smiled and went up to the bedroom.

Shamaaz was already in bed by the time she walked out of the washroom after changing into her PJs. Since a couple of days back he had told her to keep her sleepover for some other day, and given their current state, she assumed he'd know where she had gone for the night and thus, she didn't bother informing him. Instead she wore her Abaya over her PJs and flicking off the lights of the bedroom, she walked to the only place that lived up to the name of being a home.

***

Sulaiman had already gone to sleep by the time she went home and while her mum found it unusual of her to simply drop by, seeing her mood she didn't question her much. Anabya straight up went to her room and as she switched on the lights, she had to suppress a squeal seeing the sight in front of her.

"Girl, couldn't you plan this sleepover a little earlier?" Tam asked. "Raiyyan wanted to take me out for dinner, had to cancel it for you," she added.

"I didn't think you'd actually come," Anabya replied. "Bhabhi, is Humayra asleep?" She asked moving ahead to join them in bed as she took the tiny baby in her arms, feeling so emotional all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry you had to cancel your plans, Tam. I didn't think you'd come, and I thought Bhabhi too would be tired to have a sleepover so I didn't tell you about it," she said, looking at Aamina.

"It's fine, Anabya. Tam and I were already planning our sleepover before you returned to Mumbai. Most of the time you're next door and we hardly get to spend time here, so we were thinking of stealing you for a night," Aamina replied.

"Everything ok, Bee?" Tam asked, unable to really gauge Anabya's current mood.

"I... I don't know," Anabya sighed.

"Is he not taking care of you?"

 "I don't know," she sighed again.

"There's either a yes or a no, Bee, there's no in between."

"But my life has become everything that falls between yes or no," she whispered. "Sometimes, we're good, most times we're not. One minute we're smiling, the other minute we're fighting. Sometimes I see our life together and it looks amazing, and other times I doubt if I can even spend the next few hours in the same room as him. I just don't know anything."

Aamina and Tam shared a look of horror at Anabya's outburst. Whatever they had in mind, it wasn't really this. 

"Anabya, you're scaring us," Aamina said, gingerly touching her arm.

"There are so many things that we don't agree on, Bhabhi, so no guesses why it gets difficult."

"Your difference of opinion is what is causing all this. Neither of you are ready to bend?"

"I don't know if either of us is ready to bend because we don't talk about it. We have a fight, we don't speak to each other for sometime, then pretend like everything's normal. We don't discuss our problems, I don't think he even thinks that we have so many problems."

"You of all people shouldn't be doing this, Anabya," Tam shook her head. "If not him, you must be the first one to speak up and resolve your issues before they grow bigger."

"I know it's very unlike me but I, I'm just so confused. He acts like everything's normal and I don't feel like going over it again. It's complicated."

"Bee, it's just been a month, don't be so quick to say this." Tam warned.

"Is Shamaaz not considerate about your feelings?" Aamina asked.

She thought about it for a while and sighed. She went back to the time when he kept his word to take her to the beach even when they had had a big fight, and then just a couple of days back, although he had come tired after his match he took her for shopping and did  not protest as he more than willingly paid for all the gifts she bought.

"He is considerate about my feelings, he makes an effort," she finally said.

"And what about you, Bee? Are you considerate of his feelings?"

Now, this caught her slightly off guard.

The past month, she didn't remember doing anything as such to make him happy.

When she covered her face in her hands and did not reply for the longest of times, they got their answer.

"You've accepted this marriage, Bee, but have you accepted him?"

"Now don't reply with a 'I don't know'," Aamina was quick to add.

"I haven't thought of it in this way. Getting married to him in itself was such a big deal, in the time spent, I couldn't get myself to actually make an effort and do anything beyond that."

"But now that you are married, you might as well spend the rest of your life happily, right? Instead of being in two minds about this decision?" Aamina advised.

"Getting married is easy, staying married, not so much." Tam said. 

"Always remember, Anabya, he comes from a very different background. We're not telling you to accept everything he does, no it's not that. There may be places where he still needs to learn and change, but that will not happen overnight. You need to give him time, and you need to be with him instead of running away like this, right?"

"Talk to him, Bee, let him know what you think." Her sister added.

"Can I make a confession?" Anabya finally muttered. She was keeping this in her heart for so long but she finally needed to get it out.

"I problem is, I never thought I'd marry a guy like Shamaaz. He always makes an effort to be good to me, I'm not denying this, but he is not the guy I imagined to marry. Our religious views don't match, he is slightly immature and unreasonable at times, we clash in so many ways."

"You won't like me saying this..." Tam started. "I know mum was one of the reasons you got married to Shamaaz but I'd still say you had a chance to say no when Furqaan was on your side all the while. And yet you got married to him knowing what you're getting yourself into. So is it fair to always compare your current husband to a picture you have in your head, Anabya? Because that way, nothing that he does will ever make you happy. You can't always have a fairy tale in your head, this is life. And reality is brutal yet can be made beautiful if we only try, Bee."

Silence encompassed the room for the longest of times after Tam uttered the words. It was a harsh reality, but it was true. Anabya was being judgmental when all she needed was to be flexible in a relationship like this.

When a single tear slipped from Anabya's eye, Aamina said, "Bee, you're the most sorted out person in the family and you have the kindest heart. I'm sure you are trying your best, I will never doubt that, and it's very easy for us to join you and put Shamaaz down but that will not get us anywhere, will it? I know this marriage is not a dream you wished would be fulfilled but you can still make your life like the dream you imagined by putting in your best, can't you? At the end, we just want you to be happy, Anabya."

She nodded her head, truly accepting the reality. And if she wouldn't find ways to appreciate life, no matter how much she didn't want it, she would spend all her time complaining. 

"I wish we were in the same city. You two always have the answers I need, and life seems so simple," she finally said.

"You can always speak to us over the phone, Bee. We'll always find time to help you out."

As if on cue, Humayra woke up from her deep slumber and Aamina got up to head to her room for she needed a diaper change.

When the two sisters were left alone, Anabya thought and thought some more before she finally uttered, "We met Fadil and Hafsa today."

"Where?"

"Fadil and Shamaaz are good friends and he knew Hafsa and I were good friend too, so we met at a restaurant in the evening."

"And?" Tam asked, not liking where this was going.

"Don't ask me how, but Shamaaz knew about that annoying phase of my life where I used to like Fadil, okay? I assure you nothing happened in the meeting today, but after all these years guess what? He asked me if I still had feelings for him. You don't know how disgusted that made me feel."

"What in the world? How could he? What did you say?"

"What would I say? We just ended up in a fight. I still can't tell you the anger that bubbles in me everytime I think about it. Never thought he'd think something like that of me."

"Wait. How did he know about you and Fadil?"

"Remember we used to study in the same Uni for a year? So yeah he just got to know." She replied vaguely. 

"Fadil had come to your wedding too, right?" Tam inquired. "Shamaaz didn't mind that, did he? So what's all this now. Did something happen today when you met him?"

Answering her question, Anabya described every detail of the meet.

"You know what, Anabya? Would you believe me if I said of what I can understand, him asking you if you have feelings for Fadil has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his own self?"

"That does not make sense, Tam. He was accusing me of something like this, like I'm married to him, how could he even think I'd harbor feelings for another man."

"Have you expressed to Shamaaz your feelings for him, then?"

"What? Are you mad?" Anabya mumbled.

"Think about it, the guy is just insecure."

"I don't know what I feel for him yet, Tam, what will I even say?"

"One month, Bee, one month, there's something that you would feel for him. Especially since this is the time couples get close as everything is new to them and...you get my point."

"Tam, stop," Anabya said, blushing deeply as she covered her ears with her hands.

"Gosh, you're so shy. But in any case, you said Fadil was being normal and he complimented you a few times, right? This is not normal, especially for Shamaaz. See, he knows you had feelings for him at that time, so all of it triggered this evening and he wants to know for sure that you're over him. He's not doubting you, but he's jealous and wants to make sure his wife is his."

"That is so rude, he can't accuse me like that though."

"Oh psychologist, think of it from his perspective. I can't tell you how possessive and jealous men can get when it comes to their woman, but it is a good thing too. Islam encourages protective jealousy."

"You're saying him asking me this is okay and I'm over reacting?"

"No, Bee, I'm not blaming you for anything. Your reaction is justified because you know it's not what he thinks it to be. But see, one thing is you haven't expressed that you even remotely like him and he also knows you once liked Fadil, so he's just feeling insecure. And as you once said, he's quite impulsive, so he straight up went and asked you the question. Perspective, Bee, all about perspective. You may be pondering over the trust accept here, and wondering if he doesn't trust you enough to know you would never think of someone else that way while being married but Anabya, it's just a month since your marriage, and trust is one thing you two need to build. So don't think that he isn't trusting you, that's not the point, he is being really insecure. I know you feel bad but this one time, be the bigger person, okay?"

She took her time to understand Tam's words and finally nodded, deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Don't think we're not supporting you, Anabya. You'll always be our first top priority and it would be very easy for us to join you and condemn Shamaaz for his actions but as Bhabhi said, this won't get us anywhere. We're trying to see the good in him because at this stage, it's easy to fight and find differences. But you must also know these differences make life interesting."

"I get it now," she agreed.

The past two hours had been loaded with so many lessons that they still weighed heavily on Anabya's mind and she couldn't go back to sleep. She spent the entire night thinking and pondering over her relationship with Shamaaz and at the crack of dawn, she woke up to pray Fajr. Once done, she went ahead and made herself some hot coffee and decided to walk into the balcony just as Snowy came and nestled herself in her lap while she sat on the cane swing.

Looking down at some of the joggers running circles in the tracks around the park attached to the apartment, not expecting it, she spotted Shamaaz before he disappeared while jogging to the other side. Two minutes later she saw him again and this time he stopped to speak to an old man who stayed on the fifth floor. He sat beside him and she could see the old man laugh at something he said and she didn't know why, that made her smile as well. There was a second when he looked up and they stared at each other for a few seconds before he looked away. Anabya continued to look at him, the smile slipping off her face as she finally turned around, turning away from the reality that was him for a few more minutes.

"Sulaiman, what happened?" She asked, opening her arms to her sleepy nephew who walked straight to her and wound his arms around her waist, resting his face on her lap.

"Don't want to go to school," he mumbled. 

"Why? Don't you have fun there?"

"Want to sleep," he replied making her grin. He's definitely gone on his Phop, she thought. 

"Oh you're still here?" Furqaan asked, coming out of the room holding a hanger with Sulaiman's uniform.

"Sulaiman, come, I need to give you a bath, we gotta get dressed for school."

"Where's Bhabhi?" She asked, stroking her nephew's hair while he refused to leave his Phop.

"Oh yeah Aamina wanted to apologize she couldn't come back to you to continue your sleepover after she came to our room last night. Humayra was being troublesome and she had to be up all night. She didn't let me stay awake too, I've got a long day ahead of me. She went to sleep just an hour back so I don't want to wake her up, she's tired."

She smiled at the way Furqaan spoke of Aamina and said, "You carry on Furqaan Bhai, I'll give him a shower and drop him to school, don't worry."

"You sure about that?" He asked, smiling in gratitude.

"Yeah of course," she nodded enthusiastically.

"Thanks! Our routine has gone off track from the time Humayraa was born, the good kind of off track but it's still crazy."

"I understand, Bhai. Come on, Sulaiman, we need to shower and get dressed."

Once Bee had bathed Sulaiman and dressed him smartly in his crisply ironed uniform, Nikhat fed her grandson his breakfast and packed his break before the two went down the stairs.

His school was just five minutes away from the apartment and instead of taking the bike, Bee decided to walk, his tiny school bag in one hand while the other hand held his securely.

"Phop, I hate learning words," Sulaiman said.

"And why is it so?" Bee questioned.

"They're so difficult! I know a cat is a cat, why does the teacher want me to spell it out for her?"

"So that when you see it on paper, you must be able to read it too."

"But Phop I don't like it, I'd rather go away to Dubai."

His statement made Anabya laugh and she said, "What will you do in Dubai?"

"I'll work and buy lots of things."

"But even to work, you need to learn spellings and words."

"Then I'll go live with the fish in the sea."

"The big fish there can eat you."

"I'll go to the desert."

"How will you survive without food and water?"

"I'll go live on the moon."

"Only people who can read are allowed on the moon."

"I will... I will..."

They reached his preschool as Sulaiman still wondered where he'd escape next and in the school compound, before dropping him off, Anabya kneeled down to him, laughing at his expression she said, "Sulaiman, my darling, you can't run away."

He pouted listening to that as she continued, "The easiest thing to do is to just learn your spellings, baby. When I was little like you, even I didn't like all this but there's no way out of it."

"I will go to Zombie land," he said instead and Anabya shook her head, letting him live in his fantasies.

She kissed both his cheeks and said, "No kissie for Phop?"

He leaned and kissed her as she waved him goodbye.

"I love you, Sulaiman," she smiled.

"I love you too, Bee Phop," he replied innocently.

On her way back home, the words she told Sulaiman played in her mind. 

You can't run away.

Despite the pain and struggle, you had to live through what came your way. How else would you grow, how else would you learn? Back at home, everything she had experienced, everything she been taught the past few hours encircled her mind as she penned down her thoughts.

There was a time I used to love happily ever afters. It was a phase when society idolised perfection, taught me that blessed is a man who gets it all served to him on a silver platter. It actually took me time to realize everything worth having, does not come easy. 

Pain is an important part of the journey - pain due to people, from certain situations, from the world in general. No one can feel the pain apart from the one undergoing it, and while it leaves no scars, its wounds dig deeper than the oceans and makes you cry rivers of agony. And yet it breaks you to teach you you can be recreated stronger and are meant to reach higher than you ever thought you could.

And then there's struggle. Struggle of waiting patiently as the storm crushes you under it, struggle of never being given what you deserve, struggle of taking the next step while your feet ache and your world has come tumbling down. And yet it's the same struggle that teaches you humility and appreciation, kindness and compassion.

And it is this part of life, this messy, tough, frustrating, shattering part that makes us who we are. It may be nice to have everything passed on to you without putting in your efforts, just like it is to stand by the shore and collect the shells. But have you ever thought of withstanding the pain of harsh tides and the struggle of travelling to the ocean bed to lay your hands on precious pearls? For it's breathtaking, there lies the real treasure.