The chilly wind of December hit Alice's face, making her pull her scarf higher. A small crowd of half-asleep students dragged their feet towards the building, wishing they were still in the comfort of their warm bed and not about to enter a classroom.

She was hoping it would be warmer inside, but the stone building didn't help her. Perhaps once she was in the classroom, the heat of hundreds of students inside the same crowded space would defrost her bones. Not likely, but she could only hope.

The classroom was on the other side of the building, but she didn't need to hurry, as there was plenty of time. She waved at a few classmates and kept walking, head down, and scarf tight. Her eyes fell on someone she hadn't talked to in a while, and she stopped.

"Hey," she greeted with an uneasy smile. "I haven't seen you in French."

Andrew tensed and turned to her. He tried not to look shocked, yet the first thing he said was, "What's with your hair?"

Her fingers tangled in some strands of her now light pink hair, twisting it. "It's- um, I needed a change. I was sick of the blue."

He couldn't name the colour she now had, but he knew it differed from before. It wasn't his intention to make her uncomfortable, but now she was staring at the floor instead of looking at him.

"You look pretty," he said. Only after the words were out did he realise, she could think he was flirting. "Do you need anything? I need to go to class."

"Oh," her head jolted up, "let's go together! I mean, we're good, right? It's no big deal."

He found it amusing to see her so nervous. It was cute, but he hated she was no longer at ease with him. They should've been friends only, but now, the memory of them together seemed more like a fever dream. It had all been months before, and it only lasted a week. Both were over it, even if Alice and Nicole's relationship suffered irreversible damage, so maybe they could be friends again.

"We are, but I'm not going to your class," he explained. "I switched to an advanced class a few weeks ago."

"Oh."

That explained his absence. She hadn't dared ask Nicole; afraid she would know the answer. It would hurt to find out they were getting close to each other. Closer than she had ever been to him.

"But I can go with you. It's on the way to my classroom."

Alice forced a smile and nodded. "That'd be great." She nodded towards the corridor. "Shall we?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked by her side. His mind raced to find a subject to talk about, but it was hard. Starting a conversation had never been an issue for him, but he never tried to do it with an ex-girlfriend. It was like walking on eggshells, and he hated that feeling. He had too much of it at home; he didn't need it outside of it.

"So..." she started, eyes carved on the wall, "how's it been? Have you made new friends?"

He repressed the smile at the motherly words.

"I've met some people." He shrugged. "I wouldn't call them friends, but they're cool people."

"Right," she muttered. "You're not here to make friends, are you?"

Those words weighed on him. It was true. The plan was to create no connections. Stay invisible. He kept telling himself he hadn't ruined it all just because of what happened with Alice. If he wanted to, he could still leave all behind and forget everyone he met there.

Except that was a lie. Not everyone.

"I'll leave someday... I don't want attachments."

What was I then?

"Don't you think that'll get lonely?"

It was now that Nicole had crushed his fantasy of friendship. For months, he had spent his days at her workplace; first, because he didn't want to be home alone, and then he got to know her, the girl under the shield. He couldn't believe all those afternoons together didn't matter to her.

"No, I-" The words were lost on his lips once they reached the classroom, and he saw the girl waiting outside.

His eyes met hers. She moved the curls falling on her face away and glanced at him before moving to Alice.

"Nicole!" the pink-haired girl exclaimed, despite the awkwardness of being near both. "Were you waiting for me?"

"I was." The blonde nodded. "I didn't expect to see you with him."

Andrew backed away, feeling like he wasn't needed.

"I'm going to class. See you around." He told Alice.

However, before he could walk away, Nicole's icy voice stopped him. "Where were you yesterday?"

Alice frowned, looking between them. Yesterday? Did they have something planned? Her mind was playing tricks, telling her why she should be mad, but she still didn't feel a thing. It didn't bother her.

Weird.

"Why do you care?" he asked. "We're not friends."

Her lips parted, but he didn't wait around to hear a reply. Even Alice was surprised by him. That was harsh and Andrew as they knew him wasn't rude.

"What's got into him?" Alice asked.

Nicole shrugged. Their discussion wasn't one she would like to share with her, or anyone. She had been oversensitive and said things she didn't mean just so he would leave. It worked, but maybe it had been more effective than she wished.

They went inside the room and sat in their spots on the back. Andrew's old seat was still empty. It hadn't bothered them before, but today, it was a heavy reminder of him.

"Do you have plans for this afternoon?" Nicole questioned. Her boss gave her the day off and she didn't want to spend it studying. Yet, she didn't really know what to do with her free time.

Alice fidgeted in her seat, biting her cheek. "Carol and I are going shopping. My dad is coming for dinner, and I wanted to buy a dress."

Her friend sat straight up immediately. "Your dad? The drunk asshole you haven't seen in years?"

"He has been sober for a while now," she muttered, unsure. "He only left so he could get better, and now he is..."

"Ali, I-"

She raised a hand to shut her up. Nicole's complaints and perhaps justified arguments wouldn't change anything. Isabel was going too, and they both thought it was worth hearing whatever he had to say.

"I know what you think, but I'm not a child, Nicole. Let me do this. I need to," she explained. "Maybe I won't reconnect with him, but at least I'll get closure. Dr Vera says it's important."

Nicole almost rolled her eyes at the therapist's name. Diana quoted Dr Vera a lot too, but all the doctor did was give her pills she didn't take. Maybe if she did, she wouldn't pocket everything she saw.

"Or maybe it'll open an old wound."

That was all Nicole ever thought about. Avoiding what could cause pain. If your feelings are numb, you can't get hurt again. If you don't get near the source of pain, you'll be fine.

"It's always a gamble," Alice said. "Maybe you should see Dr Vera too. She is great."

Nicole scoffed. She didn't need to swallow pillows to survive. Never had before and surely wouldn't start now.

🖤🤍🖤

"Are you okay?"

Miguel stared at her baby, blue eyes filled with concern. He didn't want to worry her, even if she said she wanted to help. Her hand reached for him, and he squeezed her fingers, shooting her a reassuring smile.

"I got a lot of stuff in my mind, that's it."

Lúcia had kept quiet all day, patiently waiting for him to open up. She knew he wasn't used to sharing, yet she hoped he would let her in. He talked to Nicole, so he should be able to talk to her too, to let her help.

"Such as?" she questioned. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

He knew that, but he wasn't used to it. How was he supposed to tell her he was having doubts about them? After all, he had been the one to pursue her, to woo her. He couldn't just tell her no.

His fingers loosen from their grip, but she didn't let him go. Her eyes were on his hard jaw, but his were on the kids playing around the park. He couldn't face her right now.

"I know. I'm just-" He sighed. Words had never been his forte, and now he couldn't express his feelings. He wasn't even sure he wanted to share them. "I've been thinking about us. This thing we're doing... What are you expecting from me?"

Her brows arched, and she bit her cheek in consideration. That was definitely not what she expected.

"As in the future?"

He nodded, staring at their hands clasped together.

"I don't enjoy thinking very far ahead. Right now, I'm just expecting you to ask me to be your girlfriend." She smiled shyly. Even if she wasn't an old school person, she still needed to know if he wanted to do it.

"And then what?"

She shrugged. "And then, whatever happens, happens. Why? What are you expecting?"

He shook his head, eyes on the ground as they walked through the park. As a kid, he loved to play there with the other children. Now he was older, and even if he wanted to remain reckless, he just couldn't.

"I don't know, I just... I'm afraid I'm not the person you want me to be."

Her feet stopped, forcing him to halt too. She grabbed both his hands in hers, tightening her grip, and searched for his eyes.

"What are you talking about?" she asked. "You're exactly who I want you to be. You're the person who makes me smile when I'm not in the mood, the person who will sit by me all day, even if I'm busy, just because you want to be nearby. And you are confident, so I don't know where those insecurities came from. You know I like you."

The wind blew stronger, making the few leaves still on the trees rustle and fall. For a moment, all they heard were the screams and laughs of children, the chat of adults walking by. They just stared at each other, secluded from the world.

"And yet you know I don't do relationships. What makes you think I'll just get into one that easily? What makes you think I'm not just trying to sleep with you?"

Miguel didn't know where the words came from, but he knew how they would sound to her. He didn't mean to drive her away, and now he regretted them ever spilling from his lips.

She shrugged. "Are you?"

He swallowed dry. He didn't know how to answer.

"I was."

Her head tilted to the side. "Was is in the past. I asked if you are."

He hesitated, lost deep in her eyes. Surely, he hasn't spent days at the coffee shop trying to chat just to bed her. Maybe he didn't know what he felt for sure, but he knew he had never tried so hard to get someone to like him.

"I'm not. But I never did this before. I-I'm confused."

Her arms snaked around his waist, and she pulled him into a hug. He hugged her back mechanically. She planted a kiss on his cheek before burring her head in the crook of his neck.

"It's okay, I'm not going anywhere."

*currently dreaming about finishing this book as fast as possible*

Why is thinking about the story better than actually writing? I don't know.

Every single character is so annoying to me right now... I just want to get to the half of the story that I haven't changed. Yes, cuz the beginning is completely different but the ending is the exact same thing I wrote originally and it's cute. Mostly. We're not throwing lamps at anyone this time. I think... I dunno, do you guys want lamps thrown?

I hope you're enjoying, and if so please vote and comment cuz your support means the world to me and your criticism helps me grow.

Thank you for reading;)