Amelia's POV

  I stared in front of me, and there was only one thought in my head. What did I just do? Dimitri. He ran after me. He told me to stay. He told me to wait. And I didn't. Why... Because I was scared. Scared that it might be fake. But when I turned around, when I saw those green eyes of his, right there, in front of the castle, they didn't lie. He yelled my name, and I didn't hear a lie. I heard pain. His pain. And I might be the one that caused it. If I saw him again, what would I had told him. I hurt you and I'm sorry?

  I was aware of that. But his words were clear. He said he didn't remember. He didn't even know who I was. However, I didn't understand the reason why he ran after me. Why he wanted me to stay... I only knew that in that situation I pulled with one hand-pushed away with other. I knew I was doing it, but I was scared to stop. Because seeing him, meant seeing my love for him. I loved him and I was scared. I didn't know what was real. I risked everything that night. And Dimitri seemed like the danger over it.

  We almost got caught. And if we did, the king would've saw I was alive. Now, I was only praying that Dimitri wouldn't tell him that he saw me. If they weren't after us already... The woods on the side of the road seemed like a simple dark blur from the speed the car was taking on. And I just stared. I wasn't aware of it, I was already lost in my own thoughts. Feeling someone's hand on my thigh, it took me a few seconds to come back to reality. I didn't feel tired. I felt guilty. And I had no idea why.

  Turning my head on the side, I saw Luke. "Hey, you okay?" His voice sounded gentle, sympathetic, but I didn't need his sympathy. I needed Dimitri.

  I shook my head, not wanting to lie to him. "He didn't remember me." I mumbled those words for at least the hundredth time that night, hearing how my voice faded, cracked, every time I spoke. Luke didn't hesitate. He just scooped me up in his arms, and I leaned in, needing someone to lean on. I was thankful they were there for me. I knew they were. Even Christian. But I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. My only goal was to get Dimitri back, and this was our only chance. And we didn't succeed.

  It felt like no matter how much I cried, my eyes couldn't dry. I tried to mute my sobs, but I couldn't. Feeling Luke's hand around me tighten, smelling him near me, it relaxed me. It calmed me. And if I closed my eyes, I felt like I would had fallen into a heavy slumber right there. And the burning tears had an extra effect. But Calliope's voice caused me to look up. "Amelia, stay awake. You know tonight wasn't just the ball, it's your birthday. It's normal to feel weak, but you have to fight it. At least for now."

  I noticed Christian's eyes on me from the mirror, and I just nodded my head, but his gaze wasn't demanding and dangerous as always. It was different... Somehow telling me that it was alright. "When will we get there?" I asked quietly, feeling Luke's hand caressing my upper arm.

  "Soon. We're close." Christian gave me a straight answer keeping his eyes on the road.

  I felt Luke leaving a light kiss on the top of my head, and I closed my eyes in order to clear my thoughts. "Hang in there, Mia." He mumbled against my hair, and I looked up at him. I could only imagine how I looked. My eyes burned from crying and they were probably puffy. My hair was already a mess, and I acted like I was broken in every kind of way. And I was. I just didn't know others to know. But my fake smiles weren't available to me right now. "I'm here for you."

  I tried curling my lips into a smile, but I failed miserably. So I just looked down instead, and pushed myself closer to him, leaning my head on his chest. "Thank you."

   The hurt I felt that night covered me like a cloak I never wanted, bonding to my skin when all I ever wanted was the sunshine. But I knew that I wasn't going to be able to find that sunshine. At least not anytime soon.

~

  Brushing my hair, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't anything to admire. And looking at myself, it brought the hurt back inside my heart, because everything simply reminded me of Dimitri. I felt like I lost him. Forever. And the pain seemed unbearable. I pushed the pressure in my head that the need for crying caused, and did my best to keep the tears hidden. Like the tenth time that night, I succeeded. Behind me was the window, and the moon shone bright that night. I stared at it in the mirror, but again, it was too far. Just like him. It was almost full and it had waned to a slim crescent, a sliver of glowing white in an otherwise inky sky that failed to even bring my surroundings into grey scale.

  Leaving the brush on the table slowly, I stood up and turned around, walking towards the window. The cold autumn air sent chills down my whole body, but I enjoyed it. I needed it. I could finally inhale the air as I sat on the window bench and closed my eyes. The air was freezing, but it was clearing my head. However, Dimitri was still the only thing on my mind.

  "Don't go." When he said that, my heart shuttered. I didn't want to. I really didn't. I wanted to stare at those emerald eyes forever. Be close to him forever. But I knew that was impossible. Our end was there. And it ripped me apart. It was simply our fate, and that night was the end of it all. I didn't want that to be the last dance I had with him. I didn't want that to be the last kiss with him. The last touch. But it was. And I kept thinking, did I mean anything to him? If I did, maybe he would've remembered.

  His voice was something intoxicating. In the most wonderful way, it enchanted me. And I wanted to keep listening to him whisper my name over and over again, to come closer and talk to me, tell me how much he loves me, how much he wants me. Just like he once did. But I had to accept the fact that it was over now. It was all over. He was the reason why I survived. The reason why I lived. And without that, I wasn't sure where to go. Where to look for help. Or how to find that help in myself.

  I was holding on. But my body was caving in. I was breathing, but the air wasn't enough. My heart kept pumping, but I felt lifeless. Empty. Because I was going to sleep alone that night. Without him holding me. And I didn't have the reason to think that he might come back anymore. I didn't have that force to push me forward, that wish to find a way back to him, because that way was simply erased. It was a few hours past midnight. Everyone was asleep, except for me. I didn't know how to deal with what I was. I didn't even know how to learn. I was simply relaying to Christian.

  I kept reminding myself to thank him. To thank him for everything he did for me. But before, when he lead me to my room, making sure I was alright, I simply couldn't find my voice to speak. I stayed in the shower for god knows how long, and I couldn't wash away the ache. The hurt my heart suffered from. Leaning my head on the frame of the window, I inhaled the air as much as I could. As deep as I could.

  "Come back. I need you." I whispered, feeling that, oh, so familiar hot drop down my face. I was sick of crying. It practically hurt even more, but I couldn't control it.

"Call it out to me, I'm holding on
But my body's caving in
Call it out to me, I know I've won,
But it don't mean anything
It's blinding me,-"

  My voice cracked, not letting me finish the song. I brought my knees up to my chest, and let the sob escape me freely. Maybe it was a mistake trying to hold my emotions back. Maybe that was the real thing that got me where I was in the first place. Lying, hiding, saving myself from others, yet I wasn't aware that maybe those others were trying to actually help me. I had that sick mistrust hidden inside me, poisoning my soul since I was a kid. I knew it was because of my father. My family that left me scared, not letting me trust anyone else ever again.

"It's blinding me,
It's fighting me
So I wait 'til morning comes
And dance in all we could have done,"

  I kept my voice quiet, not wanting to wake up anyone. But I had to let something out. Something other than those lifeless breaths. I had to talk about it, at least through a song, because the pressure in my head from keeping it in that whole time, it caused that annoying headache that didn't let me think straight. Again, I reminded myself that I did it because I didn't trust anyone. Kept all of it inside me because I thought I was alone. Maybe I wasn't. Maybe I could trust Christian. After everything he did, I didn't want to make the same mistake and lose him the same way I lost Dimitri.

  I knew Christian was keeping his distance on purpose. We danced, but he tried really hard to keep his space. He was pretty honest with me a few nights ago, but he knew how the situations stood. He knew where I was, and how I felt. But I didn't want him to think that I wasn't there for him. Dimitri was his brother, and that night we were getting him back. So I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me and continued the dance slow. Moving forward, I leaned my head on his shoulder slightly, feeling how his hands around my back wrapped tightly.

  "Thank you." I whispered.

  "For what?" Christian mumbled against my hair, and I just smiled. I knew the plan would work, and having him close gave me more hope.

  "Everything. I don't think I can thank you enough." I continued, moving backwards slightly so I would looking into his eyes, even though they were covered with a midnight black mask. "Especially for the other night."

  I noticed how he took in a sharp breath when I mentioned it, and I understood why. "You remember?"

  "Of course I do. I fell asleep on the couch, and then that morning woke up in my room. I'm guessing you brought me to my bed."

  Sighing slowly, he nodded slightly. "Yes, I didn't want you to be uncomfortable." But for some reason there was disappointment in his voice. He asked me if I remembered, which was awfully weird. How could I forget everything he said? Maybe he was talking about something else, but I was too occupied thinking if Dimitri was in the room yet.

  "Well thank you." I repeated. Smiling, I leaned in again, and continued dancing. I didn't worry, because I was almost sure Dimitri would remember. I knew him well, and I knew that his feelings towards me were as real as mine were for him. That's how I knew it would work.

   But little did I know that the spell could not be broken by love. Or was it love? I knew him for only a few weeks, but it felt like so much more. Because I loved him like no on else could. I could've still been the only one... The only one close enough to feel him breathe. But he danced with his queen that night. They sure found a girl that was descent enough for him, and I was nothing compared to the new blonde. But that was my least worry that night, because I was almost sure he would come back. We all were.

  I looked at the moon again, feeling the wet tears now drying on my cheeks. At least we're under the same sky, I kept telling myself. But my thoughts suddenly got interrupted by a phone ringing. I frowned in confusion, trying to search for the phone with my eyes, to see where the sound was coming from. And then I saw it, placed on the table bellow the mirror. It was Christian's. He must had left it when he came in to check on me before.

  I walked towards it, taking it in my hand and looking at the number that was showing. Who was calling him at this hour? I brought my brows together, biting my lip slightly and hesitating if I should answer or not. Should I? My mind swirled with the possibilities who it might be, but for some reason my fingers were itching to pick up. Oh, screw it. And I picked up. "Christian," I heard a voice from the other line. A deep familiar voice that could only belong to one person. Dimitri. "You better start talking where the fuck you took her, because I swear to you.. I swear this time I'll kill you." A gasp escaped me, and I had to cover my mouth with my hand in order not to say something. And there it was again. The tears. The pain. By just his voice.

  My knees suddenly felt weak, and I needed something to support myself. Sitting down on the chair, I kept quiet. "Christian, listen, I'm serious." His voice sounded so angry, so dangerous that caused goosebumps to form on my skin. Oh, my, he figured it out. He may had told the king too. And then he went silent. Nothing from the other line, just his suddenly heavy breaths. But I wanted him to continue. I loved hearing his voice, no matter how much it triggered the tears...

  "Amelia?" He asked after a minute, and I felt myself clenching my fist and closing my eyes. Hang up! My self conscious screamed, but I simply couldn't listen to myself. I knew that the Dimitri I saw that night wasn't the one I knew. The one I met. But the fact that it hurt so bad, it only assured me that my love for him was bigger than anything I ever felt. And in that moment, I didn't care if it was the old or the new Dimitri speaking. As long as I heard his voice, I felt calmed.

  "Amelia, is that you?" His voice faded as he whispered into the phone, causing me to no longer be able to hold back the tear that escaped down my face. Talk to me, please. I wanted to tell him, but I knew I couldn't. "Please don't hang up... Just,- say something." I heard how his voice cracked, but I knew that all of that could be a game. Dimitri was the player of the games, and in his games there were no other winners than him. Heck, there were no other players than him, because he controlled it all.

But I couldn't mouth out anything. And I knew I shouldn't. "Talk to me, love. Where are you?" He said quickly, but his voice was still faint, and it only caused me to let out a light sob. And I knew he heard it. "I'm sorry, Amelia. I do remember. But you ran. You ran away from me." My heart was breaking all over again at his words, even though I knew this was all a game. He didn't remember. He just wanted me to tell him where I was. His father wanted me dead, and he was following his orders. "I just want you back. I need you back, baby,"

  God, shut up! I wanted to tell him. He was playing with my feelings right now, and it hurt hearing what he was capable of. Hearing him in that state. He sounded hurt, broken, but I knew better than to trust him. That night, I only saw my Dimitri once, when he kissed me. Everything before and after was simply his game. And I was his toy. "You're running from the wrong person, Amelia." I was no longer trying to hide my deep breaths and the few sobs that escaped me. He knew I was there. He knew I was listening. And he was saying those words on purpose. He knew my weaknesses, and was using his to dominate over me.

  There was silence on the other side of the line for the next minute, and it gave me the time to calm my rapid breaths. "I,-I love you. Know that." I bit my lip in order to keep myself quiet, and that was the breaking point of my patience. I hung up, and all at once let the tears fall, the sobs escape and the emotions wash over me uncontrollably. All I kept thinking was, how could he? How could he use my love for him against me? He did a great job acting out his part, and mine was to tell him where we were. But even if I wanted to, I didn't know. And that's when I realized Christian was right. Dimitri was gone.

  I knew Dimitri. The old Dimitri. I was the one that poured warmth into him for so long, and he loved it. I knew he did. But then he turned on the cold to shut me down. To shut his feelings down. And I understood why. But it hurt. Every time I thought of him, it felt like a new wound, a new scar to add to the collection. And I wanted him to know, that no matter what he did, it wouldn't stop me from loving him. He called that night, and I almost fell for his game. The game him and his father were playing. I would've rather had him take a knife to my skin than speak those words with no meaning.

  And the hurt was a spider web, intricate, yet strong. I knew in time it would pass and the sun would regain its warmth, but the joy from my heart was gone. I could no longer cry, could no longer grieve for him, cause he stole himself away. He took the love he offered and locked it back inside that cage he call a body. He forgot it. Erased it. And all I could do was move on. I knew my pains, my aches better than anyone, and I knew how to get pass them. No matter how impossible it sounded, I was ready to pass them.

  So I wiped the tears away and took in the air until I stopped shaking. I stared until I erased his face from my mind that night, even though I knew it would always be locked in my heart. I wasn't going to let that ruin me. And I knew how to deal with it. How to deal with the love my heart held for him. I said it to him, and I promised it to myself. I'll wait for him. But until he came back, no matter how long it would take, I knew that I would only slain myself with suffering for his love. And the Dimitri I knew would've wanted me to be strong. So that's what I did. I found my way, knowing that one day, he'll find his way back too.

~

  "Good morning," I walked in the kitchen, taking the jug of water and pouring some in the glass. Christian's eyes landed on me, and I could tell he was surprised. Bringing his glass of blood down on the counter, he stared at me for a few seconds, until he decided to ask.

  "Why are you dressed in your training clothes?"

  "Wow, not even a 'good morning' back?" I asked coldly, leaning on the counter.

  I noticed him sighing, and I could tell that he annoyed. "Amelia," He demanded, causing me to roll my eyes at him. Why else would I be wearing my training clothes?

  "You said that the training continues after the ball."

  He chuckled, but I could hear the irony in it. "I never said that."

  "Well, shouldn't it?" I said, crossing my arms firmly on my chest. "You're the one that said I wasn't ready. Don't you want to continue the training?"

  And that smirk of his never left his face. "You mean, training you. Every morning. No thank you." He said, turning around and putting away the glass.

  I bit the inside of my cheek, thinking if I should continue. And with that attitude of his, I decided I should. "Dimitri called last night." I said casually, knowing it would effect him. It effected me for sure.

  "What?" He mumbled, turning around again.

  "Yeah. You forgot your phone." I pulled it our of my pocket, and threw it at his hands.

  I noticed him frowning and looking at it for a few seconds. "You picked up?"

  "I didn't know it was him." I heard my voice cracking again, and I hated it. I decided I wouldn't be weak anymore. On anyone.

  "What did he want?" His voice as always was cold, but the concern in it couldn't be missed.

  I took a few steps towards him. "Can you guess?" Sighing, I leaned on the counter, placing my hands beside my hips.

  "Fuck," Christian mumbled, running his hand trough his hair and turning around. "He told him," If someone else heard him talking, I don't think they would understand. But then again, none of the things in our lives were understandable. Explainable. However, I knew perfectly well what he was talking about.

  I took in a deep breath in order to steady my voice. "He said he remembered."

  And then Christian's eyes shot back to me. "That's a damn lie. You know that, right?" I bit my lip and looked down. Did I? I convinced myself that it was, but there was still a small part of me that didn't understand. That wanted to believe. "Amelia, if he didn't remember last night, there is no fucking way he's remembering now."

  "I know that."

  "Do you?" He almost cut me off with that loud tone of his. I had no clue why he acted like he was pissed off at me, when he actually had a problem with his father and Dimitri.

  "Yes, I do." I raised my voice, matching his tone. Walking closer to him, I stopped when I was a feet away. "That's why I want to continue the training. I'm tired of feeling helpless, Christian." I was acting like I no longer cared, but my voice was still faint with just a thought of him. Of Dimitri.

  "I'm here to protect you."

  "I don't want you to protect me. I want to protect myself." I felt a slight turn in my stomach when I said that. Did I really want that? Yes, yes you want it.

  Once again, he ran his fingers trough his hair slightly, pushing it upwards, and then fixed me with those dark eyes of his. "Yes... Yes, you're right. You should know how to protect yourself." He said mostly to himself.

  I nodded my head slightly, waiting for him to look me in the eyes again. He seemed to have trouble with it. "I don't want the physical training. I,- I think I'm ready." I said, crossing my arms again. "I want to try the weapons."

  I noticed as he slowly registered my words, and his eyes widening slightly. He scanned me, frowning and going over my words in his head again. "How do you know about the weapons?" Christian asked, suspicious as hell.

  I couldn't help but smile. "You just told me."

  However, he didn't find it funny. Putting his hand on his waist, he backed a step. "God, what is up with you this morning?" Good. I didn't hear a no.

  But I knew it would be a lot more harder to explain to him, than to explain to myself. The reason was simply my breakthrough. I couldn't let myself shatter every time I think of Dimitri. Instead, I decided to be useful while waiting. "Christian, you didn't hear Dimitri last night. I did... It wasn't him. But he almost did it. He almost convinced me to tell him. Do you know how close I was to fall for that act?"

  He raised his eyebrows slightly. "I know." He said, ignoring my seriousness.

  "It wasn't really a question." I said, frustrated.

  But he just chuckled. I can't believe he wasn't serious about this. "Sorry, go on."

  Turning around, I uncrossed my arms and hopped on the counter, facing him again. "There's nothing to go on about. Since I'm wasting my time waiting, I can at least be useful about it."

  "I'm glad to hear you say that, Amelia."

  I felt myself fighting a smile at his words. I knew I could convince him. "So it's a yes?"

  He did what he did best. Smirked, and gave me the answer I needed. "When are we trying the weapons?"

  Dimitri's POV

  My view couldn't come to focus. It was the kind of morning that was bleak, dark, mysterious, but it was nothing new for Venedocia. After all, that's how it seemed to me after that night. I didn't know what to do with myself. With the anger I held inside. She hung up. She didn't believe it. But I couldn't blame anyone but myself. I was the one that chose that path. I was the one that brought her in that state. I didn't know what first to think. How was she alive, or how was I going to find her?

  The worst thing was, that she wasn't taken from Christian. She was with him. Holding his hand and running away from me. When she walked in that car, my whole world shattered on my back. And I still couldn't recover. Amelia. My Amelia was alive. But she wasn't with me. How was I supposed to be happy when she was miles away from me? When she was crying because of me... I kept thinking, she didn't believe me. She didn't believe a single damn word I said, and I knew it. But I had no clue how to start. Where to start looking for her.

  At that point, beside myself, I blamed the main person, the biggest monster that was responsible for all of that. My father. My hands were itching to do something to him, hit him, yell to him. But the urge to kill him was bigger. And I knew I wasn't getting anywhere with that. On top of everything, I could only imagine what he would do if he found out about Amelia. If he found out that she was still alive. So my hands were tied. I would rather have him dragging his ass around Venedocia, then looking for her.

  The coronation was in less than two months. I couldn't let him think that I was taking on the throne. So I left. I left Venedocia for good. He, of course, didn't know that. In his eyes, I was still the perfect emotionless son that went on a one month business trip. Little did he know, the coronation wasn't happening. At least in my honor. Unlocking the door to the only place I thought of- an old lake house that used to be my hiding place when I was younger, I walked in and threw the bag on the side. Opening the fridge, I found a few bottles of beer, probably put here by Christian a few months back.

  So opening one, I decided to start planning. I couldn't see in what direction did the car leave. The car in which Amelia walked in. I wasn't even close to finding a way back to her, but I knew I would. I would no matter the price. Just feeling her in the air that night, I longed for her touch, and when I got it, I longed for more. I lookef at her beautiful face, at those hazel eyes that no longer held the spark they once did. I needed more of her voice, more of her laughter, moans, and even cries. I craved her lips, he body, and I didn't even had my memories back.

  Now, my emotions were only getting more extreme. She picked up the phone, and at least I got the chance to say I loved her back. But the fact that she didn't believe me ripped me apart. I was no longer wondering how she was alive, I was making plans on how to get her back. Because she only belonged to me. She always did. I recalled her in a way that sent electricity to spark my mind, body and soul. Amelia was my medicine. The light, the laughter and hope. Without her, I was nothing. Empty. And I swore to myself that I would find her. Without her I was dead. She knew how to keep my heart beating, and if I wanted that, I had to find her. Whatever it takes, I will. No matter the price.

***
Hey kittens! Me again. So this Chapter was a bit in general, nothing much happened. I just wanted to fill you guys in with the details, and the 'meanwhile' parts. To be honest, I think the next one will really get you excited, cause I'm positive it will be a surprise for you...
That is why I'll publish it... *Drumroll* Later today! Yayzies!
Thanks for reading loves! Love you <3 Kisses, :*