"She's back!" I looked over at the porch upstairs to a jumping Mufy.

If I didn't know any better I'd have said she was possessed by a djinn, when did it become a norm to squeal a person's arrival especially if I just left this morning. 

I shook my head and looked over at Nad and I wasn't surprised she was into her phone again.  Whoever this man was I prayed he didn't break her heart.  I killed the car pulling the key out of the ignition and blew out air from my mouth as I held the handle.

"We've arrived."

"I know but it's only appropriate you go out first" she muttered as she pulled the hand of her bag's zip and pushed the phone in,  I nodded and  hopped out.

I smiled when she handed over my bag from the backseat then climbed out of the car,  my eyes followed her as her eyes roved over the parking lot then gradually the compound to the grand house, try as I might I couldn't picture it from her perspective.  She'd never been to my house so she might think this was my marital home.  I chuckled at the thought attracting her attention to me again. "Shall we?" I asked leading the way before she could reply.

We walked to the house with me just a pace ahead,  "be ready for my family's cra-"

"Yay!."  "Welcome!." My words literally went back to my throat, Mufy had her hands tightly encircled around Nad's body like they were long lost friends. 

"Welcome" she squealed again  hopping when she pulled away.  "How was your trip? " she asked while  collecting the bag from her. 

Ok what was going on?  I looked over at Nad hoping she'll understand all the questions in my eyes,  I don't remember her meeting the girls or dad mom was the only one she knew.

She shrugged making me roll my eyes,  Mufy was just up to her usual mischief and this time around she almost fooled me,  I walked away leaving Nad with my annoying attention seeking sister cum sister-in-law and hurried to the house house hoping she'll not talk Nad's ears off,  but the girl was in the law field and we were already home so hopefully she could manage.

A sigh escaped my lips when I finally made it over the threshold,  finally I was home,  it wasn't like I've been gone for long but making up my mind and coming back to familiar terrain lifted a whole chunk of weight off me,  now it was left with the implementing part. 

***
Dinner let me say left me pretty annoyed,  Dad couldn't make it home,  he was out with Papa so he also wasn't around which left me with mom, Mufy, Fareedah and the ever pretty Nad,  she earned pretty as a prefix to her name when Mufy decided she was pretty and gushed one too many times cooing like she'd found a new pet. 

I looked over at mom for  help of some sort when Mufy cleared her throat again after sipping from the glass of water beside her plate of acheke with pepper gravy and fried fish.  "Please take pictures with me so I can show my friends just how pretty you are.  You're so beautiful it's almost unbelievable,  I wonder why you've never been here and I have to show Papa,  Dad and Dan your pics we..... . "

What  was up with this girl,  I let go off the fork in my hand happy at how loud it clanked on the plate drawing the attention of everyone at the table.

"For the love of Allah let us be, let's eat in peace" I added the latter after a long punctuated breath.  "We understand you have to gush but some of us love to eat in serenity and the person you're talking to is eating herself and has replied to less than 5 of the 20 questions you're playing with her,  she might not even be comfortable.  Be reasonable."

I pushed the chair back not minding the loud screech it made and hurried upstairs, happy mom didn't call me back. 

Did she really have to mention Dan,  she was probably getting back at me for not making her do my make-up but  humans aren't always in the mood for her behavior,  she needs to outgrow  that.

She was just a teenager but even that didn't make much of a difference,  try as I might I found none of what she did there intriguing.

Nad was a beautiful woman,  I was sure most people would attest to that but there was no need shoving it in her face. She wasn't a fan of accepting compliments that much.

I ambled to the bathroom to take another bath,  maybe it would help cool off some steam.

***

"Hope you didn't pass out from her questioning?." She burst into laughter clutching her tummy,  "Please tell me that's not how she is everyday,  she's the perfect fit for Iman" her eyes widened when she added the latter probably imagining how horrifying that would be.

If Iman had been the one here instead I know even mom would have complained,  it's one thing to be a talkative but it's a whole other kind of torture to have super talkatives talk your ears to exhaustion.

Even ears got tired likewise the mouth, I wonder how they could yap almost all day without getting tired.

I huffed pouting a bit,  where was Amdan when you needed him?,  I rolled my eyes making a tsk sound and holding the back of my hand to my forehead,  I wasn't coming down with a fever though I should be after all the torture my ears went through today, but I knew something was definitely wrong with me.

Why would I be asking for Amdan if I was okay?.

"Hello there, anyone home?." I blinked to Nad's thumb and forefinger snapping before my eyes,  her lips  stretched in a smile her phone tightly clutched in her other hand. 

"I was just chatting with Yussuf,  I told him about Mufy and he couldn't stop laughing then I look up to see you like this" she chuckled winking an eye at me,  "or were you thinking of Amdan?" She asked wiggling her brows at me. 

I was thinking about him but she didn't have to know that,  "Hmm or you had a lover's spat and got angry with him?" She enquired frowning a bit "What time would he come for you it's getting late" she added. 

Mufy has definitely rubbed some of her talkativeness on Nad.  "I'll sleep over he can manage without me for today" I muttered rolling my eyes but marvelling at how easy the lie rolled off my tongue.

"Now tell me more about this Yussuf,  I want pictures everything" I muttered before she could ask more questions,  she beamed looking down at her phone and tapped on the lower screen,  it shrilled in her hand indicating she'd received a message.

"This might probably not be what you expect but I can't keep it within anymore, I love you,  I love you,  I love you  so much. Age or not, and I was scared before but I might as well get this over and done with,  yes I'll marry you and yes I'm ready to meet your daughter and family." My eyes were as large as saucers when she was done the short shrill sound confirmed the message had gone through and whatever this was it meant there was no backing out.

Her phone went off but she refused to touch the answering pad and pulled my hand leading me to the bed.  She was breathing like she'd ran a marathon but I knew that wasn't the case.  She had her other half hopefully and I knew hers would in no way be like mine.

"I never call him by his name and I  can't call him uncle because that would make us more complicated but one thing I know for sure is I'm attracted to him and I love him" she mumbled beaming like a teenager.

"And he loves me too, he told me he hasn't taken permanent residence in the country for a long time but he's bound to stay now get things right with his family but I don't really care I'm ready to follow him wherever he goes,  well after my studies of course" she giggled.

My heart clenched I was happy for her but sad at my fate.  I made a  resolution minutes ago but seeing true love being dangled before me made everything hurt the more.

She picked her phone releasing my hand.

She  held the phone up her eyes fixated on the screen, showing off more of her teeth and shaking her head.  "He wants me to pick up the phone and is threatening to track me … like he can" she mumbled the latter more to herself and giggled. 

I smiled but what I felt within was pain,  love knew no age as alleged by the French age is just a number but seeing everyone glow from joy made my heart hurt. Mom had dad and there seem to be no damper on their relationship,  Nad had Yussuf,  Iman had the mysterious person she can't seem to get off the phone for,  nothing seems to be going on for my dad,  I can't even imagine anything going on in the man-woman love department for him  he's old anyway,  but with Dan and I one could never tell. 

I speak about being strong and leaving him with conviction one minute and then the next I start to doubt my decision.

It was like there were huge  dark clouds in the way of the sun in my world,  the littlest chance the rays get to peek they are blocked by yet another bigger dark cloud.

It's as of there is no room for happiness in my life.

**I** squeezed her hand and headed over to the bathroom,  they had lovers I had me and right now the only way I can feel good is pouring my heart out to my Lord,  I'd take a long bath then pray besides what loved surpassed the one the creator had for me,  Dan could rot where he was for all I care.

           
                    •♕•♛•

'***Subhaanallaahi wa bihamdihi.***'
*(How perfect Allah is and I praise Him.)*

### I mumbled the last of my morning azkar repeating it silently as I pulled the tasbeh bead with my thumb across my index finger after each utter. 

A smile crossed my lips after the final bead joined the 99 others I'd pulled,  my heart finally feeling at ease.  I'd say yesterday was hard on me  but I woke up at dawn with a start.

I expected to have the results from Malik today and though I don't expect everything to sail smoothly I wasn't going to beat myself about on what I couldn't control. 

I do expect to feel down,  I've come to realise it's what comes my way even when my hopes are high.

I rose up from my yoga sitting position and unwrapped the floor length clothe around my waist  neatly folding it, then the long khimar veil I had been wearing and placed it atop the prayer mat. 

"Good morning, hope you slept well?" I greeted my lips stretching in a smile when I asked the latter. 

"Alhamdulillah"  she nodded  then started  removing the extra she had worn before praying.

I left the room before she was done,  I didn't want us to discuss last night,  I knew she'd relented and talked with her beau and I'd rather be spared the details.

"I'll be back in a few minutes.  You can go back to sleep." I suggested gently pulling the door and heaving a sigh.

***

"…he can't marry now Alhaji" I stilled conflicted between moving forward and going back.

"It's not like the deed is haram he has grieved enough" dad defended his voice resolute,  the gentle humph of mom's voice neared the door and I retraced my steps.

Dan was taking in a second wife.  My mind completely went blank.

"I know she'll be hurt by it how much has she had him to herself that she'd readily share him with another woman,  I know for a fact that women are more jealous  than we let on." Those were the only words my mind after I went off in space.

Was this God's way of telling me to give Dan up?,  the feeling in my chest was indecipherable.  The pain was there right in my chest, like rusty-blunt daggers were being pierced at my heart.

After all that I went through a second wife was my reward. 

For the patience I bored,  for the slaps and shoves I endured and for the insults that had hurt, this was the worse insult of all.

And dad supported him. He had his dad's blessing in my grand shame premier.

Maybe it was because I wasn't his real daughter.  I know he wouldn't  have readily complied if it had been Fareedah or Mufy's husband who had wanted to take in another wife. 

But that was okay we could all act like nothing was wrong and welcome this second wife.  Maybe she was the one he'd really longed for all along,  no need for anyone to be hypocritical about it.

They could all support Dan for all I cared.  I lost my family when mom died and I'll have to thank my parents in-law for taking me in,  they did quite a good job and deserved all the accolades,  but at the end of the day I was only what I was an **in-law** to them  I'll save them the trouble and shame and look my best at the wedding.

***

"What's up with you?" My wide eyes rose to the sight of Nad,  wrapped in a big towel while squeezing water from her drenched hair with the smaller towel in her hand.  I nodded at her from my position at the door to my bedroom,  slowly easing myself on the floor. 

She was lucky she was marrying an older man he was mature and will deal with whatever comes his way maturely,  she didn't have to worry about him taking in a new wife and of course had no in-laws  to support him.

"You're lucky to have Yussuf…… Nad,  hold onto him" I turned quiet not so I could mull over my words, I outright envied her luck and would love to be in her shoes.  "And you have no parents in-law to worry about,  count your blessings"  I gingerly rose from the ground and left the room.

I could as well blend with my *family* and exhibit one or two of my hypocrisy trait  ,it was probably hereditary.

I'll smile with everyone and act surprised when I'm finally told the truth, but there won't be hurt there.  What was there to hurt for.  Then we'd all bask in the fake love we have for each other.  Who cares if there is no actual love, *no real love* didn't mean we'd deprive ourselves of fake love.  I pray I get a high table seat at this table of hypocrites since I now have an invitation.

👑

Ouch that hurts 😭😭😭
A second wife 😭😭 couldn't just look away from the black beauties of Senegal.

XOXO,

Reine👑.

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