My head was half perched on my left arm my eyes fixated on the IV line that traced to my hand, I watched as droplets of the liquid trickled into the valve injected in my left wrist.

Watching this was better than the disappointing and pitying looks I might receive from mom, our eyes had met quite a few times when they were here yesterday and I hated the look in them, I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was but I didn't like it, the rest of the family were no different, I closed my eyes again, my throat felt clogged, like it would burst any moment.

All I could afford to give my papa was a nod and a forced smile when he came yesterday, he was still a stranger though he bore me.

I've never been one to open up to people, doing so took time and I was in no hurry to rush this.

***

Within me I felt dead, my body just a hub of a withering soul, maybe my dad told them what really happened that day and they shared the same sentiment as Dan.

I sniffed wishing the pain would just stop, the rhythmic throbbing in my head had dulled though it still hurt.

I swallowed the sob I was going to release when I heard the creak of the door "she's still not awake?" dad's voice whispered in question, "No she's not" I felt a cold hand on my neck, "Her fever is down" I heard mom's voice for the second time.

"Sirina do you believe Mesunan Mallam?" there was a pause, my heart beat picked up what did dad think about Dan "I don't want to believe it I'm afraid to even voice it but I think he's abusing the girl" he added the latter in a silent gruff.

Dad had the same assumption as mom, they thought he hit me, I'd prefer he hit me to what he actually did.

I'd take beatings for years to this emotional abuse, "I don't think so Alhaji let's not drive to conclusions" mom voiced pleadingly.

I could feel the tension in the room, "I don't know what's coming of that boy but I don't know what to think of him again, you saw him walk out on Yusuf dragging Salma along, that was the first time in many years he saw his daughter but he took the girl away, by Allah if I find out he is in any way responsible for what happened to her, he can count himself out of my children I have lost 2 already no harm in lo-" "Alhaji" mom shrieked, thick silence befell the room.

Ya rabbi what was happening, I am the cause of all this, I made this happen why do I have to be the cause of every doom that befalls them. First their children now this, tears trickled down my face. I wish death would take me away so all this would stop.

"You know how much he loves Salma, he did so from her nappy days why would he hate her now, the girl he won't even make a fly touch?" she asked the latter rhetorically.

My lips begged to sob this was too much.

"Have you forgotten how much he used to fight with Manan for her? He was much closer to Dawud but he didn't trust him with her either" mom muttered her voice thick with emotion, I heard retreating steps, one of them was going out I wish the both of them will stop this spat and leave. I'll convince one of the nurses to inject poison in the IV so I'd die and peacefully leave them "people change" was the only thing I heard what were they talking about.

"Where is he?" the room was silent again "He was called to his work's Dakar branch he called me earlier before going, it was an emergency" a deafening silence filled the room, I was shocked by the new revelation, Amdan wasn't just here at the hospital but out of the country, what company sent a person on an impromptu visit to another country without prior notice, were contractors suddenly in high demand at Dakar?.

I felt the bed dip "I hate this, I hate this feeling I don't know what I'd do if these suspicions turn out right" mom whispered an edginess in her voice and I hated it.

So what if I was abused, I deserved it. I injured myself anyway he had nothing to do with the physical bruises. The internal bruises hurt much worse but they couldn't see that this was what they saw and I won't make them blame their son for it, he only meted out what he thought was appropriate maybe I should have fought harder, or a part of me enjoyed what he did to me, I knew beforehand what to expect and never protested not once did I retaliate any of his actions I was quiet all through the torture.

The only time I mustered the courage to talk it all out he killed that bravado with hypocritical kind words and actions but this was the hilt.

He made quite the statement with his sudden departure, no goodbyes no nothing, he just left me to deal with this alone to show me how much of a heart he really has too bad I already knew he had none.

The pain in my chest became unbearable, I needed to wail loudly to clear my chest from the pain, a body wrecking sob, I pursed my lips my throat humming from the oncoming sob.

"Subhanallah" mom exclaimed loudly gathering me in her arms "What's wrong, is your head hurting?" I gently placed my head on her shoulder my face turned away from her ear and burst into tears, the pain I had been harboring broke loose.

"It hurts" I whispered in a rasp, "It hurts so much" I blurted sobbing out loud.

"Shhh" she consoled, soothingly rubbing her palm on my back, I wrapped my hands tightly around her body the throbbing in my head was becoming fervent but it didn't matter then all I needed was to vent it out, her body slightly jolting from my sob.

***

It's been a week since I was discharged from the hospital after being there for four days, mom and dad suggested I stay at home with them since Dan wasn't back from his trip yet, it was kind of awkward sitting in the same car with mom, dad and my birth dad Papa when we were driving back home.

Four days weren't enough to cosy up to each other like the ideal father and daughter.

I didn't tell mom the reason behind my outburst.

Listening in on them have that quarrel was enough, no need to ruin everything by letting them in on what happened on the inside, he was cooped in Dakar on an unending assignment and he could stay there for all I care.

There were people who genuinely cared for me and that was all that mattered.

***

I huffed a breath as I folded the last piece of cloth, "Matan Dan" I heard from the door I turned to see Mufeedah standing there with her hand planted akimbo on her waist.

I rolled my eyes at her tsking in annoyance, she just don't seem to get the "give me space" vibe I was giving them.

Fareedah doesn't come anywhere near my hair because she knew I wasn't in the mood, but with Mufeedah no, she doesn't get it, she stuck her fingers deep and I was already feeling them on my scalp.

"What is it you want?" I asked irritated by her persistence, can't we all just stay in our lane? I was staying in mine can't she stay in hers?

"You know I hate it when you're stressing yourself right? I mean we're already having a tough time dealing with your mood swings how will dealing with a tired heavily pregnant you be like?" she asked wrapping her arms around her as she shuddered her eyes widening in faux fright.

I'd have laughed at her little act but the magnitude of her words hit me, my hands instinctively touched my tummy, I could be pregnant and I don't think I'll ever like it, I'd rather I abort it even if it cost my life.

"Really?"

My eyes shot up widening in shock when I saw she was still around her brows furrowed, my eyes blinked rapidly my heartbeat picking up what if she "You really miss Dan to zone off like that, look you already have tears in your eyes" I pursed my opened mouth licking and chewing on the skin of my dried lips, I felt like sighing but that might be interpreted wrongly and that might be the beginning of a tale I didn't want to hear or know about, with Mufy you never know. If she catches in on my unease mom would hear about this, whatever it is in a flash.

"You guys are really funny you know ?" I looked up at her for further explanation, her head was bent her complete attention on a task I didn't ask her to, she picked the neatly arranged folds and walked away to the ones I had arranged in the closet.

"Please stop stressing the baby I want to be an aunty to a stress-free baby soon" I looked down again wishing I could yell at her, tell her to shut the fuck up and leave my room.

Slowly I heaved a sigh praying for a rein on flaring my temper, "Dan asked me to take care of you" that piqued my interest but I wasn't going to let her know that, no, how could he even stoop to that level asking his younger sibling who I was way older than to take care of me, "well he didn't exactly ask me he more of asked Fareedah but you know how she is he should have assigned me instead" she added the latter in a whine.

"Leave already Mufy I've heard enough" I muttered in a voice I couldn't recognise, I looked around the room looking for nothing in particular I wasn't ready to see her reaction because I might explode, I wanted to hit something so bad and Amdan's face was the only thing I could picture, if he were here right now I'd punch him so hard on the face he might need a face reconstruction.

What did he mean by Fareedah should watch over me, was he disappointed I didn't die from his tyranny, after filling up my head with all those stories that succeeded in making my mind conjure those stories I still get nightmare from he had the nerve to ask someone to watch over me.

I angrily snugged the pillows and threw them away, a strange sound resounded through the room followed by the cracking sounds of glass, my eyes widened when I looked down at my hands blinking like I was seeing them for the first time, they were fervently quivering my eyes traced down to the shards of glass on the floor.

The door burst open, I turned around to see a wide-eyed mom at the door she rushed in pulling me away from the mess I had made, like an animal to the slaughterhouse I followed her as she dragged me to God knows where, my mind and emotions jammed, tears trickling down my face.

***

This is for the old timers as someone pointed out😂😂😂, you guys are the best you're my real MVPs.
Love you beyond galaxies and back 💕💕