There went our night of having a nice relaxing time with just daddy and I. We were not expecting Altan and the pests to show up and I still do not know why they are even here. Daddy sure as hell is trying his best to not lose his shit on them, and it’s taken a lot. Papa doesn’t know how much he hurt us, me, over the years. 

After daddy set them three up in one room, I went to mine and sat on my bed, thinking of what is going to happen now. Wondering if I have to sleep with one eye open because now I don’t feel safe in my own home and that should never happen. A home’s supposed to be your safe space, not a prison. I got dressed for bed in a pair of my pants and a t-shirt and laid down and grabbed my book from my nightstand and read a little bit, trying to relax my mind before I go to sleep but a soft knock on daddy’s door made me look up and strain my ears so I could hear.

“What Altan? I have to work at four, I’m exhausted and want to go to sleep.” I heard daddy and Altan sighed softly.

“Can we talk, please? The twins are sleeping and Ryker is in bed so I figured now would be a good time to talk alone.” Altan said and daddy, I guess, walked out of his room because I heard footsteps fading down the hall. I got out of bed and opened my door and sat next to it inside my room so I could hear.

“Talk Altan.” 

“I first want to thank you for taking us in like you did. I appreciate it Brent very much. I know things are rocky between you and me…”

“No, you stop right there.” Daddy cut Altan off and he stopped talking.

“Things between you and me aren’t rocky. They are how they are supposed to be because you and I have not been together for sixteen years and that was my choice to leave but you agreed so how we are is exactly how it’s supposed to be. But, how things are with you and Ryker, no that’s not how it’s supposed to be. Do you even understand what he’s been through, what he is going through now? You don’t know because you aren’t here Altan, you are never here! You have a life elsewhere, I understand that, but you aren’t glued to the damn ground. You could have come to see him any time, for a few minutes to a few hours or even weekends, but you didn’t. He went to you and each time was worse than the last. Everyone in that pack except Chase treated my son like he was less than a human being. They did it because of your mates and children. My son would come home and be held up in his room for days, crying his heart out when he thought I didn’t hear because he tried to stay quiet. He was hurting so much and still is Altan. You and them, yes you don’t even give me that look, have treated him like he’s nothing. Your kids learned their behavior from their fathers and you, and you didn’t do a thing to stop it. You let it happen because as you said ‘boys will be boys, they are brother’s’ well Altan no that is not how brothers are supposed to act. Zane and Ryker get along well. They are close, they love one another. If it wasn’t so late and on a Friday, I would tell you to go get your own place, but it’s the weekend so nothing will be open until Monday. I expect you to be out looking for something on Monday morning, with your kids. Ryker will be at school and I will be at work. If for some reason you can’t find anything, I will have Austin move out of the apartment above the cafe and he can move in here and you three can take the apartment. I don’t want you here longer than necessary Altan, not after everything you all have put my son through. Do you understand me?” Daddy said in such an authoritative manner that I even felt his command in his words.

“I understand. I will do everything I can to make it up to Ryker.” Altan said, and I scoffed and so did daddy and I chuckled.

“Yea, good luck with that Altan, good luck with that.” Daddy said, and I heard footsteps and knew they were daddy’s and I saw him walk to his door and he looked over at mine and saw me sitting and smiled at me. I blew him a kiss, and he did the same and went into his room. I love my daddy.

I shut and locked my door, went back to my bed and laid down, shut my night stand light off and went to sleep, hoping for a good day tomorrow. 

I woke up around eight to loud noises and the smell of breakfast in the air. I groaned as I sat up and stretched. I went to the bathroom, changed my stuff into clean ones and put on my slippers and grabbed my hoodie. It's a little chilly this morning, and I went downstairs to see Altan and his kids making a mess in the kitchen, food being cooked and music playing. I leaned against the doorframe and watched them as they cooked together and I felt like I didn’t belong, so I walked outside and went to the cafe. Yes, I have my slippers on but it's on the same block as our house and it’s early; I don’t give a shit. 

“Ryker, what are you doing here?” Daddy asked when I went into his office in the back.

“Didn’t feel I belonged in my own home.” I said, and sat down.

“What do you mean, what did they do?” He asked, getting pissed already.

“Nothing, they were just cooking breakfast and having a good time, like if I were to join, it would have messed up their flow. Like I’m the piece of the puzzle that doesn’t fit, and it’s true, I don’t fit into their little family and I’m ok with that.” I said honestly, and he shook his head, got up from his chair and came over to me and kneeled in front of me and took my hands in his and looked into my eyes.

“I know it’s difficult and I know how hard it must be to see that and to not have that type of relationship with your father and I understand if you don’t want one with him, I won’t push you into one but all I ask is if he does something you don’t like, tell him. He won’t know unless you tell him, ok? They won’t be at the house for long, so we will get back to the way things were once they are gone. Just try to hold on for a little longer.” 

“Like Sean said, he’s my sperm donor, he’s not my father. I’m not going home until you’re there. I’ll hang out upstairs or go hang out with the guys if you don’t need any help here, that is. Zane here?” 

“Yea, he’s taking orders. You know he’s a social butterfly and loves to interact with the customers and ok, I could use a hand at the counter, taking take out orders.” 

“You got it.” I got up and hugged him and went out to the counter and Megan smiled at me and I started taking orders and handed them out when they were ready.

The morning went by quickly and the place got quiet as the morning crowd left, giving us some time to get ready for the lunch rush that happens every Saturday. Well, every weekend I should say and during the week for lunch and dinner mostly, let’s just say there are people here all the time. The cafe is very popular and everyone knows everyone. 

“Oh son, I forgot to tell you, we have new people in town, they came in yesterday evening.” Daddy said as I was wiping down a table and he walked over to me.

“Ok, what’s so special about them? New people come into town all the time.”

“Yea, but these people are people I know from my past, my work I used to do.” 

“You mean they are hunters?” I asked, getting really worried about my safety and the safety of every other creature here.

“I don’t think they still hunt, they have a kid your age and work for Matty.” 

"Are you freaking kidding me? Great, just freaking fantastic.” 

“Hey calm down, it’s ok. They seemed like nice people son, just don’t think of the bad and welcome them. Not everyone's the same. I’m not in that life anymore and look at me, I built this life for us and things are going well so please, take a breath and relax, it’ll all be ok.” Daddy said and I sighed and nodded. He’s right, it’ll be ok, hopefully.

The day went out without any incident, running into Altan or the pests, which I was highly grateful for. That is, until I bumped right into Altan himself on the stairs. 

“Ryker, I was just coming to see you.” He said nervously. 

“You’ve been here all this time and barely spoke a word to me. Your priority has always been them.” I lashed out and moved past him, and went outside to take a breath. 

“Ryker, wait.” He ran after me and we stopped. 

“What? What do you want? Haven’t you done enough damage?” I yelled and he sighed. 

“I just wanted to talk. Nothing more. Despite everything, I just want to talk. Then if you still want me to leave you alone I will.” 

“Fine, talk. I want to hear what you have to say. Doubt it’ll be anything good but go for it.” I folded my arms and looked at him. 

“Well, for starters, I know you heard Brent and I talking?” He said and I rubbed my arm a little, wanting him to get on with it already. 

"Well he pretty much said what needed to be said so what more do you need to talk about or know? You didn't need to come here, you didn't need to show up and ruin my life, again. Isn't it bad enough that shit happened in Oregon that you had to come here and do the same fucking thing?! I just don't get why you had to come here, my life with daddy is perfect and I don't need you to be happy, I've managed to be happy all these years without you." 

“I know I haven’t been much of a father to you since that day I was supposed to go to the funeral, or much of your life growing up really. I don’t expect you to forgive me either. I just really want you to know there’s not a day that went by that I didn’t think about you. You were an idol to the twins and honestly more than a son to me but a friend. I know I can’t change the past but I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. No amount of apologizing will help you heal so I’ll save my breath. Please know however that I still love you.” He said and came closer to me, trying to reach out and touch me but I backed up, not wanting any contact with him. 

“You were never there for me! I believed in you! I trusted you and you weren’t there! Maybe at one point we were close. You chose them over me like you always did. How can I ever call you my father when you hurt me the way you did and the most out of everyone by not believing in me?” I yelled before I stormed inside. 

“What happened?” Daddy asked as he came from the kitchen. 

“Am I a horrible person?” I looked up at him as I had my arms wrapped around him. 

“No, Ryker, where is all this coming from?” He asked, holding my face in his hands rubbing his thumbs on my cheeks and looked hurt. 

“Seeing him here with them…why’d they have to come here and ruin everything?” I sobbed into his chest. 

"That isn't my place to tell you why he left but I don't know why he decided to come here of all places. If you want, I will tell him he needs to get a hotel room for him and the twins if that will make you comfortable? I don't care if they sleep in the damn car as long as you are comfortable." He said and I smiled, he always has a way to make me feel better.

"Papa!!" Martin screamed so loud it scared us so we ran up the stairs to see what the hell happened. Daddy opened the door to the room they are staying in to find a bleeding Matthew and a sobbing scared Martin. 

"What on earth happened?!" Papa asked as he went down on his knees, Altan running in behind me and gasped and picked Matthew up but quickly put him down when he noticed Matthew's head was bleeding.

"We were playing and jumping on the bed and Matthew fell and hit his head!" Martin said and I sighed, walked out and went into my room. 

Of course another moment ruined and where am I? Alone and all the attention is on the twins, even daddy’s. I know it's not his fault it happened here but the boys have Altan, as always. 

"Hey, come here son." Daddy said as he opened my door a couple of hours later and the house was quiet, too quiet. 

"Where are they?" I asked looking in the room they were in.

"Well at the hospital and going to a hotel room. I took their stuff to one after Altan booked one and what they do now is up to them. I told Altan how you feel and told him he and the twins need to go, no ifs ands or buts about it."

"Really?"

"Mhm really. I told you a long time ago that you will always come first, no matter what. You are what is important to me, your happiness and comfort come before anyone and anything, always Ryker." As much as that made me smile, I felt sick and ran to the bathroom. 

I knew daddy would have trailed behind me as he usually did so as he rubbed my back, I just sobbed. 

“Why do all good things have to be ruined? We were fine without them, I was fine without him, so why now?” I sniffled and stood up, wiping my mouth and going to brush my teeth. 

The longer Altan is here, I know Leo, my tiger, will want to be with Amar. Why is my life suddenly going to hell?

"Some things happened with him and he needed to get away, it's no way an excuse but he left his mate's and thought coming here would do him some good I guess? I'm not really sure but that's my guess on it. Everything will be ok Ry, trust me." Daddy said and I shook my head and sighed.

“I think I’m going to go for a walk.” I kissed his cheek and walked out of the house with my house key and jacket. 

One my way to the park, I unblocked Leo so he could talk freely. 

“What’s got you so sour today?” He asked as I kept walking and just filled him in on everything. 

“That all sucks Ry, but did you ask him why he was here? He could have gone to the other pack. So why out of all places would he come here with the history he’s created? It’s these moments you have to think about as much as you don’t want to. It’s eating you alive more than it is them.” He rambled on and I sighed. 

“I don’t care why he’s here Leo. I just want them gone. At least they’re out of the house.” I told him. 

“You are a real piece of work.” He grumbled and faded to the back of my mind. 

What does he know? He wasn’t hurt like I was or abandoned like I was. He just wants to be closer to Amar. 

Once I had my favorite tree in sight, I began to sprint to it and as I got closer, I almost tripped. 

“Whoa, be careful there dude.” A guy said as he had his legs stretched out and writing in a book under my tree. 

“I-uh, sorry about that. Didn’t think anyone would be out here so late.” I said and sat next to him. 

“Neither did I, so I came here to get away from my parents and decided to sit here and write things in my journal.” He smiled at me. 

“You keep a journal? You’re a dude.” I looked at him and chuckled. 

“Hey guys can keep a journal and besides, it beats being a pent up ball of emotions ready to explode at any moment. My ex-girlfriend suggested I keep one instead of keeping everything to myself. I tried all sorts of methods to vent out my feelings like boxing, karate and other physical things but never really took the time to just sit and write them down in a quiet area.” Why do I feel like he just outed me without even knowing me? 

“Because he did.” Leo snickered before falling back into my mind again. 

“What’s the point in talking if you haven’t been heard by anyone, especially those you’re supposed to be close to? I mean, today my father who I haven’t seen in years, shows up on my doorstep with my half brothers who made most of my childhood a living hell.” I sighed.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, my mom was always working for this agency that had her travel a lot. My dad was never in my life at all until recently and well that left me alone to take care of myself most days if my mom gave the house staff the day off.” He said. Well now I feel like shit. 

“I-I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.” I said then he began to smile. 

“No worries, it honestly made me a lot tougher but also pretty resentful. Thankfully my ex opened my eyes to a new world. It doesn’t help to stay mad at the past or wonder how the hell do you regain the trust in people in your present life. I’ve met some people in my life who are always looking over their shoulders fearing the worst that they can’t enjoy their lives before they croak.” He smirked. This dude is crazy. 

“What’s your name by the way, I haven’t seen you around here before?” He smiled. 

“Jameson, Jameson Mcallister, just moved here from Jackson Minnesota.” He waved at me, making me laugh. 

“Ryker Walker.” I  smiled and we shook hands. 

“Wow you have a strong grip. You probably play some sports or keep fit as fuck dude.” He snickered, holding his hand. 

“Something like that.” I rubbed the back of my neck. 

“It’s all good, I remember playing sports but some asshole busted my knee and I can’t really do much y’know. So I write for the school newspaper and on the student council. That was at my old school anyway. Hopefully the high school I’ll be attending has some spots filled.” He shrugged. 

I lost so much time talking to him that when I saw daddy at the park entrance I knew I was probably going to be in some serious shit. 

“Well nice meeting you Jameson, hope to see you around.” I waved. 

“Call me Jamie, see you around Ryker.” He smiled. 

As I approached daddy I gave him my best innocent smile. 

"You know you got that smile from me so it doesn't work on me. What are you doing out here alone, in the middle of the night Ryker?" He chastised me for making him worry and I felt bad.

"I didn't mean to be out so late, I lost track of time on my run and stopped when I ran into someone and we got to talking, I'm sorry to make you worry." I said and he sighed.

"Look I know things aren't so easy right now with your father being here but please don't run off without telling me where you are again." He warned and I gulped with the look in his eyes and nodded quickly.

"I won't, I promise." 

"Ok, do you want to talk about anything that's been going on since you're not so emotional now?" 

"What would you do if you were me?"

"I would try to at least be in the same room as him, even for a few minutes. Leo needs his papa Ryker, you're coming into your own as a person and a tiger. You need some guidance that I can't provide even if I wish I could. You and Leo need to be as one and if you and him are at odds about things, it won't be pretty. You don't have to trust your father, you don't even have to talk to him yet, just be near him for a little bit, take it one step at a time."

"You really think that will be enough?"

"To start with, yes I do."

"Alright, I'll try but not anytime soon. I can't stand the sight of him."

"I understand, trust me. Come on, let's go home and get some sleep." He said and I looked back at my favorite tree and noticed Jamie was no longer there and hoped he made it home ok. 

When we got home I went up to my room and laid down, feeling really tired and my stomach was killing me. I went into my bathroom and pulled my pants and boxers down to see a lot of blood and sighed. I took my clothes off and got into the shower to clean up and hope the warm water will help with the cramping.

Once I was clean I got out and looked in the cabinet for a pad and found an old pair of normal boys underwear to put on for now, until I can get something better. Using a pad is very uncomfortable and annoying but what else could I use? Mama used tampons but she had a normal woman's body, not like how I am so I gotta figure out a better way to use one without my dick getting in the way.

I laid in my bed on my side and held my stomach and wished for the pain to go away. Once I got comfortable, my mind drifted to Jamie and what he had told me tonight, about his journal, and how his parents were gone in one way or the other and being alone a lot.

Kinda reminds me of my life with Altan, the missing father, feeling alone even though I have daddy, I know I'm never alone but as much as he tries, he can't replace what I lost in Altan. 

As much as mama has tried, she couldn't either. I fear no one can and that scares the shit out of me. What if I open up to Altan and am vulnerable to him and he ends up hurting me, again? I don't think I could live with that pain, yet again. 

The sound of Zane and papa singing in the kitchen woke me up and I smiled, I love hearing them sing together. I yawned and stretched, sat up and went to the bathroom and noticed the bleeding hasn't slowed down so I cleaned myself up and got dressed and went downstairs to see daddy and Zane making breakfast and this time since it's my amazing family, I joined them and had fun making the rest of breakfast. 

"Daddy we need to go to the store later, I need some things for my body issues that's happening now." I said and he nodded and Zane looked confused. 

"What body issues? Are you ok?" Zane asked and I looked at daddy and he smiled and slightly nodded his head toward Zane and I sighed softly. 

"Do you know what intersex is Zane?" I asked him and he nodded his head with enthusiasm and I chuckled as I brushed his bangs out of his eyes and he smiled.

"Yes, I learned about the human body in health class last year. Well the many versions of the human body of humans and supernatural creatures. What kind of body do you have, male genitals with female insides or female genitals and male both on the outside?" 

"Male outside female insides. I started bleeding a few days ago and daddy took me to the doctor and that's how I found out." 

"I think it's awesome, you were already one of a kind and now this makes you even more special Ryker." Zane said and I felt my heart warm at his words and the sweet smile he gave me.

"Yes that's exactly right Zane, your brother is definitely one of a kind and so are you. Both of my beautiful boys are amazing and special." Daddy said and held our hands and squeezed them gently. 

"Are you in any pain? I know it can't be comfy when part of your insides are shedding like they are. Do you need any pain medication, warm compress, chocolate?" Zane asked and I couldn't help but giggle at his cuteness. 

"Pain medication works and maybe chocolate later." I said and he got up and went into the bathroom. 

"He really is something else." I said and daddy chuckled. 

"Definitely. Are you alright?" 

"I am. I have you and Zane, what more do I need?" 

 Monday morning came around and I was walking with Sean and Waylon into the parking lot of the school when I saw Altan standing near the doors. They went ahead as I stayed back to see what he had to say now.

"Can we talk, please?" Altan asked, almost begging it seemed.

"No! You can't just show up at my school and ask to talk, now of all times? Couldn't you have waited until after school or even yesterday when it was still the weekend?" 

"I couldn't very well talk with the twins around, th…"

"Again it's about them. Just leave me the fuck alone and go back to whereever the hell it is you came from!" I yelled and slammed the doors open, almost knocking someone down.

"Watch yourself human!" I growled out darkly as I passed the new kid since I hadn't seen him before, and went to my first class that I was now late for.

They need to leave, the sooner the better.