"Matrin, um can I talk to you about something?" I asked my twin and best friend as we were sitting under a tree, playing on our phones and he looked at me and nodded seeing I was nervous.

"What's wrong Matt?" He put his phone down and I looked around us and saw some people so I didn't say anything, just got up and he followed me into the house and up the stairs to our room.

Once the door was shut, I went into my closet and got out a pair of shorts, a tank top, and some other things. I quickly went to the bathroom with a promise to Martin I'll explain in a minute. 

I took my jeans, boxers, and t-shirt off and I was disgusted with what I saw, so I turned around and put on the outfit that Amilia had given me because I had talked to her about how I have been feeling being she's the only one I know of that understands what I'm going through. 

I put on the panties that are red and the training bra she had from when she didn't have a larger chest. I put on the cute pink tank top that had lace around the bottom and top and the shorts, they were white and fit perfectly, a little tight and kinda short. I turned around and opened the cabinet, grabbed the make-up she took me to buy and nail polish that is a light shade of red. I applied the eye liner like she taught me, put on the light shade of blue, a shade lighter than my eyes and light pink lip gloss. 

I put everything away and looked at myself in the mirror. I smiled at myself, loving how I look now. I opened the door to see Martin sitting on my bed playing the Xbox. He paused the game and looked over at me and his jaw dropped and he about fell off the bed. I was nervous, really nervous about his reaction. 

"So, what do you think?" I asked after what felt like hours of silence. 

"You look completely…" He stopped talking and I shut my eyes, waiting on the curel words from him.

"Ugly, horrible, disgusting, not normal?" I rambled, feeling my chest get tight and tears forming in my eyes.

"Beautiful." He said and I looked at him, surprised at his choice of a word to describe me.

"What?" I was shocked, like to my core. 

"It's about time you are yourself. I have been waiting for this." 

"How did you even know?" 

"I'm your big brother, it's kinda my job. I knew you weren't like me for a while now. I mean you would gag when dad's would get you new clothes, had you try out for sports, wanted to take you out shooting and hunting. You didn't want any of that, you were uncomfortable no matter what we did so I started watching you more. I would notice how you would look at the females and gaze at them but I didn't know if it was because you had crushes or wanted to wear their clothes but now, I see it's more than that. You feel you're female, don't you?" He asked and I sat beside him when he sat back on my bed.

"Yes, I have been feeling like this more and more as the past few years passed. I thought it may have been a phase but Martin, it isn't. I went to the pack doctor and talked to him about this and he said he can start me on estrogen but I need a parents permission before he can give me a prescription for it. I did a lot of research and it'll take a few years but I want to start my transition to become a girl." I said and the next thing I know, our bedroom door bangs open and there stood my dad's, shock, anger, and disappointment clear on their faces.

"No, no son of mine is going to be a girl. You are a boy Matthew! You are not a freak of nature! You aren't a girl, this is all some kind of game that you're playing and you will stop this at once! Now go change out of that ridiculous outfit, I'm taking you to the field to play a sport so you can get your mind off of this! You will never be a girl as long as you live under my roof." Dad Gary ranted and I wanted to cry but I stood up and went to the bathroom. 

“And you, you do not encourage him Martin. This behavior will not be tolerated in my home. Now make sure he throws all things female in the firepit and burn it all. I expect you boys to be doing that within the next ten minutes and at the field. You have practice this evening so get a move on.” Gary said and they left the room after taking a quick look around to see if anything was out of place I guess. 

Once the door was shut, I heard shuffling from the bedroom and Martin opened the door to see me standing there crying as I wiped my face, wearing my boy clothes and just looking so sad that it broke my own heart. He helped me wipe my face and tried to comfort me as best he could but he could tell I’m hurt.

He helped me gather all the stuff I got that’s female except the took the top I had on and stuffed it in between my mattress along with the training bra, for just in case. We walked downstairs and went outback to the firepit and Amilia along with her mate’s Mikael and Garrett were walking in the forest and spotted us and came over to us. Amilia looked at our hands and saw the stuff and she shook her head slightly.

“What happened honey?” She asked me and I told her what happened and she along with her mate’s took the stuff and winked at us and she kissed our cheeks and walked away after lighting the fire pit. I love my aunt. We went around front and there stood dad’s, waiting with sports equipment in their hands and so we headed to the field on packlands to practice. 

I hated every minute of it but Gary pushed me hard for hours, making me cry and throw up, almost fainting and it took a lot for me to not push Gary away from me. I don't like sports, never have but this is the first time I had seen my dad go this far to make me play. 

Finally after the sun had started to set we made our way back home and there stood papa talking to uncle Kody and he didn’t look happy. 

“Thanks Kody, I’ll handle it from here.” Papa said and uncle Kody gave us a hug, kiss, ruffled our hair and told us he loved us and he glared at dad’s before he smiled at us and went home. Dad’s looked at papa and papa just sighed and walked into the house. 

“Boys have a seat on the couch please and you two, take a seat yourselves. We need to talk.”  Papa said so we went into the living room and sat down, Martin and I holding hands and I could feel how scared we both  were.

“It’ll be ok.” He whispered and papa came into the living room and sat in the recliner, facing us.

“Care to tell me what happened today?” Papa asked dad’s, folding his arms over his chest as he sat up more.

“Nothing, normal day as usual.” Dad Joseph said and dad Gary looked at us and nodded.

“Right boys?” He asked and I knew Martin was going to agree so we didn’t get into trouble or dad’s fight with papa again but I shook my head and started to cry. 

“Matthew, what’s wrong son?” Papa asked me and got off the recliner to sit on the other side of me. I  looked at papa with my eyes filled with tears, red, and puffy. I couldn’t say anything so papa waited until I calmed down and papa asked again what happened.

“I showed Martin something, something personal about myself and dad’s came into the room, made me feel like I wasn’t loved and like dirt on the ground, made me change and to not be myself in dad Gary’s home anymore.” I said and papa seemed a little confused.

“What are you talking about Matthew?” Papa asked and I looked at Martin and he smiled and nodded, wanting me to tell papa the truth about who I truly am.

“I feel I’m not a boy but I’m to be a girl. I got some stuff from aunt Amilia and dad’s made us burn everything and told me I’m not a girl, that I won’t be one as long as I live under his roof. That who I am is just a game and that I'm not a freak of nature. It’s not a game papa, I have been feeling like this for a few years and it’s not something that is going to go away. I’m sorry!” I sobbed and papa took me into his arms and I swear the look he sent dad’s made me almost pee myself, I was scared.

“How dare you?! How dare you speak to my children like that, to treat our child like that?! What is wrong with you?! All our kids need is our support and love, not to make them feel like they are nothing! You have crossed the line Gary and Joseph, there is no coming back from this. After everything you four had put Ryker through, this is the last straw. I’m done. Come on kids, we’re leaving.” Papa said, making dad’s gasp and stand up. 

“You aren’t taking the boys!” Gary said and papa growled loudly and his eyes turned into Amar’s.

“I’m taking my son and daughter away from you!” Papa roared and they backed down, baring their necks and I looked at papa and cried again.

“You...you called me your daughter.” I hiccupped and papa smiled and kissed my forehead.

“Of course I did. I don’t care who you feel you are inside, you will always be my kid and I will help and support you through this, just tell me what you would want your name to be and that is what it will be from now on. Everything will be ok.” Papa and us walked out of the living room and went upstairs.

“Pack your stuff, once we leave, we are not coming back.” Papa said and went into his room so we went to ours and started packing our stuff. We heard dad’s going into their room and started shouting and yelling at papa but papa didn’t say anything back to them. 

We heard loud slapping sounds and a growl, we dropped our stuff and ran into their room to papa holding dad Gary against the wall, claws out and growling in his face. 

“You lay a hand on me again and I promise that will be the last thing you do. You have done it one too many times Gary and I’m not going to let it happen any longer. I took your abuse for far too long and I have had enough.” Papa said and let dad Gary go and grabbed his half packed bag, his stuff from his dresser like his wallet, phone, car keys, and a necklace. 

“Let’s go kids, whatever you didn’t pack we can replace. We’re leaving now.” Papa said so Martin and I went back to our room and grabbed our bags and followed papa downstairs and outside. 

Uncle Kody and uncle Ethan were standing on the porch when we went out and we stopped so papa could talk to them.

“We’ll be fine guys, I just need to get my kids out of here and make sure they are safe. I had enough and need to get away.” Papa said and we all hugged and we got into papa’s truck, leaving our home and life behind.

“Papa, where are we going to go?” I asked and he sighed and looked over at me since I was sitting in the front seat.

“Well I was thinking maybe going to see Brent and Ryker?” Papa asked and Martin looked at us and we both knew this wasn’t going to go well but it couldn't be worse than what just happened.

After we arrived at the airport, papa made arrangements to have his truck taken to where Brent is and got us plane tickets and we boarded the plane. I gotta admit, I’m worried about how Ryker was going to react to us being there. I’m not going to tell him about me, not after everything we did to him. I don’t think he would even understand what is going on with me, he’s perfect with no body issues and he knows who he is.

We get to New Orleans and papa grabs our bags and we get off the plane and walk outside to get a cab and papa tells the driver where we are going. When we arrive about thirty minutes later, we get out and papa gets our bags again and I look at the house and see that it’s a big house and it’s nice. Tall, tan, with red and blue trim and the lawn has stuff in it that you decorate a lawn with and a white picket fence. Papa starts walking up the walkway so we follow him and he rang the doorbell and we waited. 

The door opened revealing Ryker standing there, looking like he’s about to go out.

“What the hell do you want?” He growled out and papa sighed, looked at us and back to Ryker.

“I need your dad.” Papa said and Ryker let us in and called Brent downstairs. 

“Altan, what are you doing here?” Brent asked papa, with a look of confusion on his face.

“I left Gary and Joseph.” Papa said and Ryker and Brent gasped loudly and Brent looked at us and to papa, sighed and told us to come in. 

We went to sit down but Ryker stopped us by blocking the doorway into the living room.

“We have plans daddy, just because they showed up doesn’t mean shit to me.” Ryker said and Brent looked upset.

“I’m sorry son, let’s just handle this first, we’ll go out but not tonight. How about you go pick up some pizzas and come back and we’ll eat here instead?”

“But the band, you know they don’t come here often and I was looking forward to hearing them.” Ryker said and Brent groaned lightly.

“I forgot they weren’t local. Ok how about you take the twins to get dinner and spend a bit of time listening to them while I talk to your father?”

“Hell no, I’d rather chop off my right arm before I go anywhere alone with the spawns of satan.” Ryker said and I flinched at the venom in his voice toward Martin and I. 

“Ryker!” Papa growled but Ryker didn’t even bat an eye.

“Don’t even. You have no right to parent me so shut your damn mouth. I’ll go get the pizza, thanks for ruining my night.” Ryker left, slamming the door behind him making us jump.

“Well, let's sit down and talk. You boys want to go outside and play or to the family room? You can play a game or watch TV?” Brent asked and we shook our heads, wanting to be near papa right now.

We sat down and papa told Brent what was going on and I wanted to tell papa to not tell him about me but he didn’t seem disgusted, he actually seemed really upset that my dad’s treated me the way they did. 

“I am so sorry about your dad’s and I can assure you, you won’t get treated that way here. There’s things going on with us that are sensitive so trust me when I say, you are accepted for who you are here Matthew. Martin, you two need to start being nicer to Ryker if there is any chance of you three staying here. Altan, you also need to start making things right with Ryker. I don’t know what it will take but it needs to be done. As soon as possible.” Brent said and we knew he was right.

A little bit later after Brent showed us where we could sleep, Ryker came back with pizza and a couple of other kids his age. 

“Hi Sean, Waylon. You boys joining us for dinner I take it?” Brent chuckled and they nodded while smiling goofy smiles.

“Yea, Ryker said his sperm donor was here and wanted the company to keep calm.” Sean said and Ryker growled and they laughed.

“Shut your damn mouth Sean.” Ryker said and smacked him upside the head, making Waylon and Sean laugh even more.

“Why are you dressed like a rainbow?” I found myself asking without even thinking and they stopped laughing and Ryker looked at me and I was worried about what he would do to me, like what he did to Martin before.

“Because pest, I’m gay and a couple other things and I’m proud of it.” Ryker said and for the first time I actually looked into his eyes and saw how beautiful they were. 

He sat down and the other boys sat as well so we all sat down. Papa and Brent brought out plates, cups, and stuff to drink. 

The next few hours I forgot about what happened at home and let myself enjoy the moment. Ryker didn’t spare me one look and didn’t comment on anything I said, which for my sake is good because I don’t want him mad at me anymore and when I can, I’ll apologize for all the wrong doings I have done to him.

I went to bed feeling like for once, things may be ok, not perfect but for the moment, ok is good enough.

I need some female names for Matthew, I want to keep it with an M so any ideas you have, please let me know by commenting!