JOON POV:

I don't miss the tense, almost suffocating atmosphere. Don't miss the way that we'd all been tugged out of sleep by the shift, the alert that someone had entered the nest. Some people who whilst weren't part of the coven also didn't register as a threat either. Didn't miss the way (Y/N) was surrounded by the Ims who'd perhaps unconsciously shifted into a protective huddle around her. Noticed when I turned to see that (Y/N) had been staring at Hobi, Hobi who looked like he was on the very verge of losing control.

Didn't fail to notice that whilst Jin hyung nods and steps off the stairs first, having been the one who'd bolted down the quickest when he noticed (Y/N) wasn't amongst the sleepy huddle of mates who'd emerged from one of the bedroom he shoots her a soft smile, and we watch as they all trapeze into the living room, following after her and hyung leading the way as all of us follow suit.

And what I most definitely do not miss is the way (Y/N) stands uncertainly in the centre, pyjamas drowned by the large sweater she's wearing- a sweater that distinctly smells like the Ims' coven scent, that overlays and mingles with her own. All of us pile onto couches, the beginning of trepidation and fear beginning to slither and curl around my gut, especially when I see the insecurity and fear on (Y/N)'s face.

What Jin hyung chooses to address is not the sudden appearance of guests, or the fact that it seems apparent that (Y/N) had left the nest in the middle of the night for some reason. No. He addresses the fact that she wasn't wearing a coat, that she hadn't thought to pull on a pair of trousers, anything to help protect the exposed skin of her legs from the late-night air.

So he gently tugs her with him, to pull onto his lap, drawing the throw that Yoongi hyung silently passes over her form, tucking her in close.

"I need to tell you something." She says. 

Hyung's movements don't still, he's nodding but he makes sure she's tucked up warmly before meeting her eyes.

And yet I don't know how he doesn't seem nervous or scared.

How he doesn't feel the bolt of panic those words send through me, how ominous they seem to sound in the hours before dawn.

Kookie presses himself against me, leaning into me- craving comfort I realise, even as his eyes remain on her, biting his lip with worry.

"What is it you need to say sweetheart?" Hobi says, and gone is whatever frustration or panic that seemed to drown him earlier. He's nothing but deep sweetness and tender concern as he looks at her, clearly surprising her because her eyes widen, flicker red for a moment.

"Is it something to do with the way the Ims are here?" Yoongi hyung astutely observes.

She stills the fidgeting of her hands in the throw.

Her head bows forward, vulnerable skin of her nape exposed- the action defensive, as if trying to shield herself.

It makes my heart ache.

It makes the Ims shoot slightly angry glances at Yoongi hyung.

"Chickie remember what we said." Mark says, voice low and soft.

Not pressing, not pushing. Present. Guiding.

She nods, raising her head.

Her mouth opens and nothing comes out. Snaps shut. And after a few, painstakingly and eternally, long moments opens it again.

"The thing is...I didn't just meet Chul that night." She begins.

Yoongi hyung's head shoots up, eyes flying to her face- the gentle grip he'd had on Jiminie's thigh tightening; now seeking out that comfort and grounding himself.

"Don't tell me..." he breathes, voice filled with panic.

"Don't tell you what?" Tae says, voice laced with a gruffness that came with sleep, but his eyes are intent, focused.

Yoongi hyung appears not to have heard him and yet answers all the same, but his eyes are still trained on her- as if telling her.

"That all of that, all that time I sacrificed, I wasted in pushing you away, in not bonding, in staying away to keep you safe was for nothing?" he says, voice taking on a pleading tone, begging her to say no.

But it makes the room startle, all of our eyes drifting between the two.

That the real reason he hadn't bonded with her comes out. Finally comes out. It makes guilt to gnaw at me relentlessly. That we'd all assumed he didn't because of his past, didn't realise that all along he had been trying to help her, protect her- as a mate long before he initiated the bonding between the two of them.

She rapidly shakes her head, muttering no over and over and tries to disentangle herself from the throw to get to him. But he seems to need her just as much because he shifts closer to Jin hyung, to take the free hand that's slid out to grip tightly.

"Oppa no. It wasn't you. Never you. I remember you told me the reason, but it wasn't you. Don't cry." She beseeches, noting the glossy pain in his eyes.

"Not crying." He mumbles, taking a deep breath- wavery as he tries to compose himself.

She seems to take courage or strength from Yoongi hyung, his emotions seeming to be the thing that pushes her to let it out.

"The truth is that I met Chul a long time ago." She says.

My heart seems to plummet, suddenly dropping down and stomach twists and upends itself.

My arm snakes around Kookie's waist, tightening my hold as I pull him close.

There's silence from the Ims side.

Silence as they let her speak.

"How long ago?" Jiminie asks, hesitant as if he's not sure he wants to know.

"When I was a child...Chul...Chul is the one who murdered my parents." She confesses.

Silence falls. Deafening silence. Silence that crashes over me in waves and roars and screeches and screams with grief, with anger, with rage, with sorrow.

We didn't even know about her parents.

We'd never even thought to ask beyond the usual cursory questions.

We didn't know she'd been hurting for so long and had never told us.

"How old were you?" Kookie whispers.

Her eyes are burning red and filled with tears.

And as she answers, the tears spill over and trickle down.

"Six." She says. The world crashes down, the floor splits open and gapes and suddenly it feels like everything I knew is spinning and twisting out of reach.

"I was six when Chul slaughtered my parents in the bed I was sleeping with them in." she confesses.

I feel cold, drained. As if I've been plunged into an icy numbness that seems to seep into my heart and wound around my soul.

I feel it cause the bond to freeze and pull taut- shock and fear and hurt bursting and burning through it.

She had been harbouring this truth, this bitter vile reality for fifteen years. Fifteen years she'd lived with this knowledge, with this burdened heart and soul.

Fifteen years. And my eyes go to the Ims, who for all their silence- don't mask their sorrow, their shared grief, their empathy and understanding.

Because they'd known.

They'd known and we as her mates hadn't. Because I realise this might very well be one of the main reasons they're so protective over her, so careful and gentle and treasure her.

Because when her family had been torn away from her, they'd filled that void with them.

JIN POV:

My arms tighten around her, even as Yoongi's hand that holds hers seems to fall, their intertwined hands sinking down. There's a hollowness I feel in the bond- maybe from    (Y/N), maybe from me, but maybe from all of us- trying to process the reality that had been so hard to divulge.

My mind was already buzzing with learning the full truth behind Yoongi's sacrifice, his refusal to bond. But this seems to be the blow that threatens to shatter me, that makes me fall apart.

Because the beautiful, precious mate in my arms is also the strongest soul too. Because she'd lived 15 years with that grief.

"(Y/N)..." I breathe but no further words come out. I don't know what to say, don't know what I can say that can even begin to amount any sort of comfort, reassurance, or even shared grief. 

Words have escaped me.

There's a choked sound, and I turn my head to see Tae leaning into Minnie, eyes on her and tears pouring down his faith- heart shattering for her, for everything she'd dealt with alone.

Why hadn't she told us? Why had she suffered alone for so long?

I turn to the Ims for some sort of words, anything that can begin to explain how she dealt, lived, and endured these past fifteen years.

Mark's eyes are hurting and soft, all of them are aching alongside her.

And I wonder whether they knew. Whether they knew that when at the beginning when we were nothing but a coven of mixed up, jumbled irrational feelings- they knew that she'd suffered because of us.

I can't help but remember the way I'd first treated her, when I'd looked at her and immediately been pulled away because she was human, remember the way I flung words at her like harsh blows, accusation after accusation at her.

And she had never for a single moment judged me because I'd been a vampire.

She had been so accepting, ready and welcoming to all of us as a coven. When really she had the reason to hate our kind, to despise the sight of us- to be repelled, to reject us straight away.

Because what had happened to her was all at the hands of a vampire.

She had every right to hate us but she hadn't.

I can't stop the shameful, hot tears that trickle down my cheeks or the way I hug her from behind, desperately needing to know, to feel her close.

The loss of her parents at such a tender young age was a brutal unfair trick of fate and if I could change time then I would- because then she wouldn't have been hurting for so long.

And I thank every star, every deity, whatever it is that has caused us to be- that divine force, for letting us have her, that somehow she'd survived. That she'd survived the animalistic attack, slaughter of her family to be here in my arms today.

The coven looks shattered- that as I look to each of our mates, they're holding onto each other- bond screaming with our shared pain for her. 

And in that moment the sheer rage and blinding, all-consuming anger and hate I feel for Chul is unmeasured, never ending and everything. Because somehow he's managed to push our bond, everything we know, the safety and protection we'd begun to share; the love that had grown day by day to be so easily thrown aside, so easily destroyed with this feeling. Because what he's done is inflicted a pain, a sorrow and agony so profound I wouldn't wish it on even the most damned and condemned souls.

And I know the second I see him there is no law on earth that will protect him, no rule nor protection act that can stop him, that can save him from my hands. From making him bleed, suffer and writhe- and no mercy to be bestowed when I meet him.

Because he'd messed with our coven, because he'd stolen from our baby mate her childhood, from Yoongi his youth, from (Y/N) also her mortality and from all of us- our happiness.

I keep mumbling 'I'm sorry' over and over into her hair, apologising for what she lost, for what she's enduring now, for having suffered alone, for not having that childhood she deserved and for having her mortality stolen. I apologise that as her eldest mate I never knew, never pried further than the small answers I'd gotten about her family, never pushed, and told her to open up. I apologise for failing her but also mentally vow to make up for each of these things, to make these apologies meaningful.

And when she turns to murmur 'it's okay' it makes the tears fall harder. Because why is she the one reassuring me? Why is she the one being strong? Why is she the one holding me together when all along we never knew just how scattered she felt?

Yoongi moves in closer.

"I'm sorry. That I never knew. That I told you that you could never understand when you were the one who could understand the most, who could relate the most. I'm sorry that Chul came into your life and that you suffered for so long. I'm sorry and I promise to do every single thing to help, to help make him pay. And to bring your parents the peace they deserve." He promises, each apology, each word, each utterance punctuated with a voice that trembles in anger.

JB speaks.

"We'll go...let you guys talk." He says to us, before coming closer- slowly and carefully; conscious not to push our instincts into an even more heightened protective mode, that would make us see them as a threat.

And then to (Y/N), he kneels in front of.

Drawing her tear-stained cheeks to him.

"I told you chickie. And I'll fulfil my promise too." He murmurs to her, something unspoken passing between the two. And he leans to press a kiss to either cheek.

The others slowly move forward, each passing on small words of comfort and speaking softly to her- their words, touches- hugs and kisses reassure her, allows her to finally sink and relax against me, that final bit of tension seeping out of her.

Yugyeomie is the final one to kiss and hug her, murmuring softly to her.

"You'll be fine now mallow. I won't settle for anything less than a happily ever after for you." he says, blinking tearily at her when she nods and shifts to give him a goodbye kiss, his thumb rubbing at the mate mark at her wrist; it allowing her to sigh with relief. With comfort.

And when they all leave, looking far more reassured than she had when she came in- everyone shifts to gravitate towards each other. Letting themselves be the rawest versions of themselves, only to each other.

Kookie moves now- finally shifting away from Joon, who despite small sound of protest relinquishes his hold as he comes to sit on Yoongi's lap, desperately scrabbling to get close.

"You've been in pain for so so long. All the time you helped me through my pain and never spoke about yours." He says, the two of them ending up curled together on the carpet instead.

"My pain shouldn't even matter- it was so long ago." He says, sniffling as he looks at her.

No-one expects the serious firm look on her voice, her finger pressed against his lips to shush him.

"No-one's hurts are less. Everyone's pain matters Koo. Just as much." She says a sad smile on her lips.

Even now trying to be brave, to give Kookie the reassurance he needs to.

He shakes his head.

"Don't do that." He insists.

She looks at him confused.

"Don't pretend your hurts don't hurt still. Don't hide...not from us." Tae says, voice thick as he slips down to join them, framing her cheeks in his hands- thumbing at the crystal tears that sparkle and catch on her lashes.

"Let us be here for you just like you're always here for us." Jiminie says, joining the impromptu pile of the younger mates who all lean into each other, providing each other with that sense of connection, with that comfort- taking it as well.

My instincts surge and well up. With the need to keep them all together, all under my eye, under the protection of the nest- to keep them safe and sound, to be able to look after them.

And when the others shift closer, feeling the same compelling need- trying to fulfil it, satisfy it, I can see the glow that comes with a sense of inner peace, a content that comes with being physically near each other.

There's still a fragile tone to the air, still a bridge to cross that feels too precarious, too unstable- but we will, together and as one. So we can be each other's support as we do so, so we can help each other up and be each other's pillars of strength.

And because despite it all, despite everything, it's (Y/N), who manages to blow me away with just how strong she is, when she draws Joonie close- drawing his head to her shoulder and lacing her fingers with Jiminie.

And looks at me in the eyes.

"I think it's time we end this horrible story he began." She says.

I nod.

"Let's do it little one." I whisper back.

(THERE YOU GO! THE TRUTH IS OUT! AND YES THERE'S LOTS OF APOLOGIES GOING AROUND BUT THE ONE I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO MAKING PAY AND SUFFER AND BEG FOR DEATH...IS CHUL. SIMPLE AS. HE HAS RUINED LIVES, BEEN NOTHING BUT A MONSTER AND DESERVES NOTHING BUT PAIN. AND ANOTHER TEARY CHAPTER- I FELT EMOTIONAL WRITING IT COS THEY'VE COME SO FAR AND OF COURSE CHUL HAS TO MAKE A SETBACK! AHHHH! MAKES ME SO ANGRY!! BUT I HOPED YOU ENJOYED THE CHAPTER, THAT YOU SAW THAT THEIR APOLOGIES WEREN'T FOR CHUL BUT FOR NEVER CLUING IN ABOUT HER FAMILY LIFE! LOTS MORE TO COME, BELTS ON, TISSUES RESTOCKED AND LOTS OF MURDEROUS PLANS IN MIND- FULL STEAM AHEAD PEOPLE! LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELS! AND FOR EVERYONE WHO WERE BOTH NERVOUS AND EXCITED FOR HOBI'S REACTION...IT IS YET TO COME 😉 SO EYES PEELED! STAY SAFE LOVELIES!)

No-matter how big or small your pain is, it is still yours. No matter how tiny or unsignificant your hurts might be, they're still yours. No matter how much you try to dismiss your fears and insecurities and sorrows- they belong to you. Don't dismiss your feelings, don't push your sadness aside- allow yourself to feel it because only then you can overcome it. Don't let others try dismiss them because anything that matters to you is important.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3