JIMIN POV:

We're all stood outside the door to the room we'd given her, having already separated to go find her and we'd all eventually ended up here- the one place we'd promised was hers and hers alone. But it broke my heart that she was using that safe space to keep herself away from us, she needed care and attention and to be comforted as we guided her through the transition but if she locked herself away how were we meant to?

Kookie was already curved against the door, tears rolling down as he sat against it, calling out for her occasionally- her name spilling off his lips in a pleading whimper. But we didn't even know if the voices were carrying through to her, because the house gave privacy to any of us when we sought it and if she wanted to be left alone, then the house had likely soundproofed the room.

But the worry that came with that was even as she couldn't hear us calling out for her, we couldn't hear her either. We didn't know what state she was in inside, was she hurting, angry, mad? What we felt through the bond was a mix of over spilling emotions but not being able to get to her was taking a toll.

Yoongi hyung looked defeated. Shattered and it looked like he was clutching at Joon hyung in equal measures of comforting but also of needing comfort too, filling his arms with his mate so he could attempt to deceive himself from the gaping void we were all feeling.

And Tae was wrapped in Jin hyung's arms with glassy eyes, staring yearningly at the door, pleading for the house in broken mumbles and cries to let him in, to let us in to see our mate and yet the door never gives way to let us in towards her- towards her in whatever state she may be in.

Yugyeom-ah had broken down in tears when she'd rushed out, arms stretched out for her and had been close to going after had it not been for the way the door had slammed shut and had held us in- the house giving (Y/N), our baby mate, the chance to move away and the space she wanted.

And right now he was with JB hyung and Mark hyung and through incoherent words and heart-breaking cries gone limp in their arms- exhaustion taking over. They were probably back at their nest now.

"(Y/N) please...you need to rest." Hobi hyung calls through the door, voice pleading and soft and close to breaking down.

It's been hours since she's left, hours since we've seen sight of her and our instincts are going haywire, not only because she's our mate, our injured mate, but also because she's a new fledged nestling, she's a baby vampire and right now whether or not she wants to believe it- she needs the comfort and security that comes with being with your coven.

But miraculously the door opens, a slither of space and Kookie scrabbles to his feet, staring wide-eyed where her face appears in the gap, tired- even more exhausted and stained with fresh tears and so, so pale.

"Sweetheart, can you come out?" Jin hyung asks, sounding shattered and broken and so pleading.

She slides out of the door, closing it immediately behind herself- not allowing a single glimpse of the room beyond to be seen but everyone's eyes are on her, on the way she curls in to herself.

To how defeated she looks and again I feel the stirrings of bloodlust consume me, to destroy the man who shattered our strong mate.

And to make him pay, slowly and agonisingly.

"I want to shower." She whispers, head bowed as if expecting an outright rejection for such a mundane wish.

"Of course...let me just dress your injuries with a waterproof charm." Jin hyung says and she shuffles forward, body curved in to avoid brushing past any of us, the fear that she'll hurt us is taking root and it can already be seen in the way she's carrying herself.

But Kookie steps into her path and touches her left shoulder, his hand gently drawing her jaw up so she can look at him, halting her in her tracks.

Her face shows extreme vulnerability, a shadow that covers her usually bright and joyous expression with something dark and sorrowful.

"You won't hurt any of us." he reassures her.

But her eyes are penetrating and wide as she stares back.

"How can you promise that? I nearly hurt Gyeomie, I don't want to hurt anyone." She whispers, defeated and low. The pain in her voice threatens to send me to my knees, to hold onto her and cry that she can't ever hurt us, that we just want to hold her and keep her safe and close but everyone watches as she gently steps back and around him, smiling painfully at him before allowing Jin hyung to place his hands on her shoulders as he leads her away, shooting us a despairing look as he leaves.

And then there's silence.

And Kookie's posture becomes defeated and small, drawing Hobi hyung immediately to him even as he rocks him close and murmurs it'll be all right, I can't help but doubt the words- how can he promise that when the beginning is already so bleak and despairing. How can he promise that when it seems like (Y/N)'s slipping, too fast and too hard?

JIN POV:

(Y/N) lifelessly sinks onto the edge of the bathtub, allowing me to help her out of the loose shirt we'd dressed her in, arms limp and barely coordinating as she lifts them, brings shaky hands to the buttons until I gently place them back down and unbutton the shirt for her, feeling tears sting the corner of my eyes because so many of our firsts, our new experiences we were to share and cherish have to be done in ways we'd never imagined. But when the shirt slides off to reveal her right side, I wince when I see the bandages, brush my hand gently over them to murmur a charm over it, spelling it against water. I kneel down in front of her, drawing the shirt back over her as I trail my fingers over her bandaged stomach, again charming it to repel water so she can shower without worrying about soaking them.

But as I step up, her hand reaches out to still mine against her stomach, her fingers holding only a shred of warmth, a lingering remnant of the human warmth she possessed. But still her body is warmer than the average vampire and I wonder whether she'll always retain a sense of her human warmth.

"Oppa...can you make the pain go away?" she asks.

I feel myself shatter at the soft plea.

"Do you need me to get Hobi? Or Jinyoung with a tonic?" I ask.

"Hobi oppa please..." she murmurs and it's as if the house has already sensed her needs, because moments later Hobi knocks on the door and pokes his head in, eyes immediately falling to the two of us.

"Hoseok-ah, she needs pain relief." I say, turning briefly to draw him in by a hand and he immediately hurries forward, kneeling down to murmur healing charms as his hands featherlight trace over the bandages, eyes fluttering as he senses just how much pain she's in.

And his face is pinched with concern when he steps back.

"Little one...will you let us stay as you shower? Just in case you need one of us." he adds.

But she nods. No argument, no spark of anything as she pushes herself up by her left hand, walking towards the large shower partition slowly. She steps in, the glass goes opaque- covering up the sight of her and slowly her hand comes out to place the discarded clothes onto a nearby shelf before it retreats.

But even as the water spray comes out strong and loud, it can't mask the shuddering breaths and little hitches as she sniffles- the sound coming out loud and clear to our ears, stirring up instincts and heartache as we look towards the cubicle, where our mate is trying so hard to be brave, hiding her pain and disguising it under other sounds so we can't tell. So we don't know just how broken she is.

Eunwoo's words come to mind about how she'll go to any extent to hide how deeply she hurts; how insistent she'll be to put up a front of normalcy. It makes me painfully aware and conscious that we are going to have to be attentive of the slightest details, with Kookie we had known how much he'd hurt- he hadn't bothered hiding just how distraught and broken he was but somehow my instincts and every deep gut instinct was screaming at me that what we were beginning to witness was more dangerous, more risky because it meant she was going to put up walls, force herself to feel normal when it was clear she needed the time to process properly, healthily.

The sound of the water stops and shyly (Y/N)'s head pokes out, hair plastered to her head and eyes gazing at us.

"Can you pass me some clothes and a towel?" she asks, Hobi immediately jumping to action, hurrying to the cupboard we keep stocked with extra changes of clothes and towels.

And he passes them to her, the two of turning to give her privacy. A few minutes later she calls out she's done and when I turn I almost gush aloud over how she's drowning in a large hoodie, it's one from the many we've all worn at some point- and I realise Hobi has given her something that'll carry remnants of our coven's scent and instinctively soothe her whether or not she's consciously aware of it.

But there's a small smile on her lips as she fiddles with the towel in her hand, the shorts loosely sagging on her waist but just adding in making her look even more smaller and tiny- the urge to sweep her up into my arms is too strong.

Hobi has no qualms and he too has noticed the relaxed posture and hurries forward, cooing over her and she allows herself to be held, curving into his embrace with sweater paws that latch onto both his forearms as he sighs with content.

"Feel better darling?" he asks.

She must nod or indicate because he shoots me a hopeful smile over his shoulder and she allows the two of us to carefully lead her out of the bathroom and back into the nesting room.

She slowly sidles out of Hobi's arms and shyly moves forward, clambering into Yoongi's arms without a word- and I note the surprise on his face that melts into something soft and raw as he gently holds her close, allows her to manoeuvre herself into a lying position, shifting and angling her body close.

"Please don't go. I don't want him to find you." she whispers into the fabric at his chest but the way everyone freezes in the room, the way questioning eyes fall onto him makes me realise that not everyone knows the full story. Not everyone knows the identity of the man behind the attack on our baby mate.

Yoongi himself has frozen, eyes burning red all of a sudden but he reassures her that he'll stay with her, the promise allowing her to soon drift off to sleep, body angled towards his as she gives in to the exhaustion.

And when she does everyone else shifts closer, both to our sleeping mate but also because of the questions everyone wants answered.

And despite how hard it'll be to air it all out, it also can't be avoided.

Because too long have I let Chul Kang-Dae hurt my mates, not for a moment longer.

KOOK POV:

I sidle closer to the side of Yoongi hyung where (Y/N) is sleeping, shifting to angle her sleeping body protectively as Tae hyung and Joon hyung sidle up behind me, bodies positioned so they can see Yoongi hyung and (Y/N), the others taking hyung's opposite side. Everyone's eyes are alert- not only triggered to  be highly aware in our baby mate's current situation but also because we realise that there are some things that need to be revealed. Need to be opened up.

"Hyung...who's the 'he' (Y/N) mentioned? Does she know her attacker?" Tae hyung asks, straight to the point, voice firm and unrelenting as he gazes down with a contradicting tenderness.

Yoongi hyung's complexion is pale- sickly so, and even though Jin hyung squeezes his arm reassuringly, it's clear whatever it is has been plaguing hyung, for a long time coming. It won't be easy for it to be finally divulged.

He nods.

"The man who attacked her was someone I know too well. He uh...he's someone from my past." Yoongi hyung confesses, looking so guilty and so ashamed and so distraught.

Jin hyung wounds his arms around him, soothing hyung.

But there's a stiff coiled aspect to his body, shifting with hurt.

"Who?" Joon hyung dares to ask, the one word making the room grow noticeably silent and the ambience thicker.

"Chul Kang-Dae. He was...he was someone who was there with me at the beginning; when I was a young vampire. He was someone who showed me kindness when the world showed me hate." He starts, voice soft and yet filled with nothing but pain.

Hobi hyung's hand darts out to clutch Yoongi hyung's; sensing that he needs the comfort.

He takes a wavering deep breath and pushes on.

"He was so kind and so perfect and then when I was totally gone for him...so deeply in love, he changed. He used me, so many times...I was his toy, his plaything and he'd play and create the most vicious games." Hyung sobs out, breaking off because tears are rolling down his cheeks and he ducks his head into the pillow to hide away.

My heart shatters. At the pain hyung had been forced to endure, at the games he insinuates, at both the physical and mental torture it had become for him.

Never had I ever thought hyung had it bad, knew he'd had a past he didn't like mentioning but never in my darkest nightmares could I have imagined this. Never did I think that my beautiful strong caring hyung had been used and manipulated so viciously.

The room grows thicker and heavier, coated, and saturated with our shared grief for hyung. Who Jiminie hyung leans over to press wet, salty kisses to his cheeks and murmur how sorry he is.

But hyung lifts his tear stained face, his wet red eyes to look down at (Y/N), hand coming to tenderly brush against her cheek, fingers trembling when they touch her skin.

"And he tried to do the same to (Y/N), he tried to use her to get back at me. I hate him, I hate him...." hyung mutters over and over again, bitter resentment and overpowering hatred coursing out through the way his eyes burn red, the way his body is shaking and yet he can't stop crying as he looks at (Y/N), who's curled so trustingly in his arms.

Hyung sees her and believes it's his fault. I see the two of them and want nothing more than to burn Kang-Dae to the ground, bit by bit for making my mates suffer.

For the first time since I've been turned, I feel bloodlust for revenge. I feel bloodlust rise for my mates, to avenge the lives that he's ruined.

And for the first time, I don't fear the monster I'd thought I'd become by succumbing to those dark instincts, I want to embrace them. Because it's to protect my mates.

And for them, I'd do anything.

(AHH! ANYONE WHO'S OUT OF TISSUES, THERE'S A FREE COLLECTION HAPPENING HERE- SO STOCK UP MY LOVELIES! AND I HOPE EVERYONE SAW KOOKIE AS PROTECTIVE NOT EVIL- THAT IS NOT MY INTENTION, HE'S MY BABY AND THEIRS! HE'D NEVER HARM A FLY OTHERWISE! HOW WAS THE CHAPTER? ANGSTY? AND WHILST IT MIGHT SEEM SUDDEN...JUST TO MAKE IT CLEAR (Y/N) WILL REMAIN CLOSE WITH THEM, SHE'S NOT HIDING AWAY- SHE JUST DOESN'T WANT THEM TO SEE HER IN PAIN AND THAT'S WHY SHE GOES TO THE ROOM. SHE IS NOT BLAMING THEM, NOT NOW NOT EVER! AND MORE HURTY FLUFF COMING THE NEXT CHAPTER- YOU CAN BET ALL OF THEM WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO SWADDLE HER UP AND JUST KEEP HER SAFE BUT OUR BRAVE BABY WILL HAVE OTHER PLANS COMING! LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS AND STAY SAFE!)

We are shaped and influenced by the environment, by our genetics but there will always be a part of us that we alone influence, that is ours and is unaffected by any factor; that part of us is deeply rooted in us and that's the essence of us, who we are at the centre.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3