YOONGI POV:

It's nearing late evening when suddenly there's a shift. (Y/N) suddenly jerks and shudders in Jin hyung's arms, twisting with discomfort, more sounds of distress and pain bubbling out quietly, face pinched with pain and hyung's arms retreat to stop her from getting hurt, from accidentally using force to restrain her from aggravating her injuries. The whole room freezes and then all of a sudden she arches off hyung, body a taut bowstring and then her eyes fly open. Her head lowers slightly and her eyes catch onto mine, I feel shock which rapidly fades into concern and disbelief- not daring to believe that she's awake, that she's looking at me. Her eyes are still her original shade, deep and inviting and then I feel fear kick in when her eyes overfill with tears, tears that trickle-down pale cheeks in quick constant succession. She's crying.

She's in pain. Hurting. And the sight of them kickstart and force my instincts into gear, propelling me forward with a cry of alarm, the others jolting and moving out of their seats around the room to get to her.

She's shaking and shuddering, body trembling with her tears as she cries, eyes wide and body otherwise frozen, drawing in large shuddery gasps, head bowed as she ducks her face out of sight. Jin hyung's arms gently encase her in an embrace, holding her tenderly and carefully to him, murmuring into her bent head. Our mates stumble forward, lean towards her- trying to gain that comfort and letting themselves be soothed by the knowledge that she's awake even as hands flutter to try and gently draw her eyes to theirs.

Kookie's bolted upright from where he'd been curled next to her, slow tears trickling down his cheeks as he shakes and moves forward- throat clogged with emotion, because he doesn't utter a single sound only moves towards her, hand resting on her leg, eyes fluttering with relief that she's awake, she's awake.

And Yugyeom sags into the mattress, body loosing all the effort to remain upright, hand slipping free as he looks at her with wet red eyes.

The others don't crowd her, give her the space she needs, and perhaps us to and at the back of my mind I feel thankful for them for that, even as I remain focused on her, not daring to take a step forward, feeling as if I've lost the right to.

But then she shakes violently, head darting up as her eyes meet mine again and she jerks forward, body shifting quickly off Jin hyung's in her sudden haste as she moves towards me. But then as she moves, despite all the hands hovering protectively over her, the movement makes her cry out in pain, curling over her stomach and I rush to stabilise her, to stop her from falling inwards.

Her hands don't go to clutch at her stomach but desperately fist themselves onto the shoulders of my shirt, pushing herself close to me, burrowing herself in closer and tighter against me even as she winces. My hands hold her close towards me, even as my mind shrivels with guilt at how content I feel with her next to me.

Her lips are moving quickly against the fabric of my shirt, indecipherable sounds and murmurs and I feel the wetness of her tears against my skin.

And then the sounds become decipherable, full words.

"You're fine?" she's asking over and over again and when she looks at me desperately, frantically I see the beginning of red bleed into her irises. Panic kicking her new instincts into emerging.

I nod.

"I'm fine." I reassure her even though I don't know what's happened, what's triggered her fear.

She calms down, loosening her grip as she nestles herself further into my arms.

But the panicking feeling hasn't faded from her end of the bond- in fact, it still saturates and floods the bond in overwhelming waves, thick and powerful.

And then a broken sound fills the air, a pained groan and her head whips to the side to stare at Yugyeom who's crying unabashedly, tears spilling down pale tired cheeks, body shaking as he stares at her, and despite all the support of his mates on either side, he looks shaky and unstable- as if the ground underneath him is rocky.

It elicits a response in (Y/N) who shifts off my lap, despite the struggle in her eyes indicating she doesn't want to leave, and shuffles closer to him, crawling the last stretch until a guttural scream tears out when it puts pressure on her injured right shoulder that tries to support her, her arm buckles and both Yugyeom and JB who are the closest dart forward to stop her fall, hands gentle and firm as they support her and coax her to lie down onto the bed.

My heart twists viciously, lurching at the sound and squeezing painfully as I watched the grimace on her lips as she's helped to lie down.

Kookie immediately plasters himself to her vacant side, curling close and leaning slightly in because it's her uninjured side but still mindful of her stomach, eyes glancing down nervously.

Her posture loosens slightly, the presence of a mate near her soothing her instincts even as she turns to face the two on her other side.

"I hate you. You promised me you were coming home, you promised you were fine, you promised you were never going to leave me." Yugyeom-ah sobs, curling over the hand he's clutching again and despite the grounding hand of JB on the nape of his neck, the Im coven head looks shaken and equally in pain.

Her own tears spill over as she looks down at him, I feel the shattering pain echo through the bond.

"I'm sorry Gyeomie...so, so, sorry." She whispers wetly and the sound of her crying makes him raise his head, to glare at her through tears.

"Don't you dare blame yourself. I failed as a bloodmate. I failed as your family." He says, curling towards her as she angles her head down towards him, the two seeking instinctual comfort from each other.

The sight of it makes my eyes sting, at the pain they're both experiencing on a deeper level- on a level that no-one in the room can relate to.

"You've never failed me Gyeomie." She whispers, the sound carrying easily throughout the room.

And as I turn I see not a single pair of dry red eyes.

(Y/N) POV:

The others move closer, the Ims carefully holding me and hugging me and giving me the sweet tactile comfort that has without fail always soothed, always eased any hurt away. And their murmuring apologies and teary faces make me clutch tightly at them, reassure every single person in the room too that it isn't their fault, that no-one could've known what was coming or could happen.

And though they look far from freeing themselves from blame, I'm more than ready to tell them time and time again.

When Eunwoo bursts into tears, so different to his teasing playful personality, especially around me, I cradle his head close, breathing shallowly through the pain that flares across my stomach when I curve my head over his.

But soon after he moves back, the pain returns strongly- sharp fiery bursts of pain that shoot and burn themselves across my stomach, my right side and I can't help the pained groan that slips out, clutching at it- feeling myself shake with the memory of sharp claws and fangs tearing into my flesh, the agony making me cry out and waver, clutching at the nearest thing to me unsteadily.

"Listen to me (Y/N), just hold onto me, let us help you through it." Jungkookie's voice comes through in my ear, reassuring and grounding, soft and tender; a stark contrast to the cool hardened malicious whisper.

I lean towards him, feel his steady gentle hands hold me close and when a vial is pressed against my lips, I peer up at Jinyoung oppa- at the wobbly smile he's giving me.

He catches my staring eyes.

"It'll ease the pain." He assures me.

But I don't want to be asleep. Don't want to be victim to the nightmares and darkness again- a paranoid fear of if I close my eyes I won't be able to open them again.

I felt so thankful that I was alive, that I hadn't died. But the thought of closing my eyes felt too scary and daunting.

"Don't want to sleep." I say turning my lips away from it.

He sighs.

And then brings it back.

"Sweetheart it won't send you to sleep. Promise." he says and my lips part under the reassuring words.

Because without fail he's always kept his word.

And minutes later when the sharp feeling of knives embedding themselves into my skin become a dull throb that's bearable, I shift with more ease- even if the movement tears cries of alarm from my mates.

My mates who stare at me with wide red eyes, filled with concern and fear.

And I realise that it's been ages since I've held them or been held by them. Even as I lean into Kookie, I reach my arms out.

Immediately Tae and Minnie fill them, rushing forward to carefully hold me between the two of them, breathing in deeply and I note a stiffness leaving their shoulders, slumping into the embrace even as they handle me delicately, holding me close.

"We missed you." Minnie whispers wetly.

"Don't you dare leave us again." Tae adds, sniffling as he kisses my forehead, leaning back to reveal tears spilling over his cheeks, my hand moves to dart them away, aching to see any of them in pain.

I shake my head and when the two slowly part from me, the space is filled with Hobi and Joonie. And Hobi looks at me with tired, exhausted eyes.

"I never want to have to patch you up again, you hear me?" he says firmly but then his voice wobbles and he ducks down to hold me again and I can feel him tremble. Joonie sports a paleness that leeches away his usual honeyed warmth and he doesn't say anything, just hugs me as he presses kisses to my head again and again.

And Jinnie oppa has a tearstained face, reddened puffy eyes from crying but he just scoops me up, lifting me away from Jungkookie slightly as he silently just shakes as he hugs me, sucking in deep sharp inhales of my scent, trembling.

But when I relax back into Jungkookie's arms I realise that the room is full of a thick layer of scents that mingle and overlap- nauseating with its potency and makes my head swim.

And I feel my nose scrunch, I duck my face into Jungkookie's shirt, breathing in deep inhales of his soft scent that is overlapped with floral tones of detergent and then a sharp tang of iron.

I recoil at the slight scent of blood that lingers on him, pushing away slightly.

"Why does everyone have such strong scents? And why does the room reek of blood? I've never smelt so many of you- is everyone wearing perfumes?" I ask, breathing shallowly to stop myself from being overwhelmed by the thick cloud of scents, the nausea heightening.

There's a few exchanges of glances.

And when Ryan oppa and Deok-mi unnie step close, I feel the fog of it get thicker.

I stop them before they reach me, and they freeze- horrified expressions on their faces, distraught and hurt.

I shake my head, trying to shake away any misunderstandings they might have formed, as well as a forceful attempt to dislodge the suddenly thick scent of something woodsy mingling with something citrusy.

"The two of you smell like wood and fruits. It's too strong. What perfume is it?" I say, shrinking back and then turning to the others.

"Can someone open a window? It's making my head hurt." I say.

But then I note the silently panic-stricken faces, the silence as no-one responds and I note the uncomfortable shifting in the Ims, I can read the hidden, furtive nature of the way they press their lips together, one or two shift on their feet and curve closer.

Something's wrong. Something's being hidden or kept from me.

And when I turn to my mates, I note a stiffness- a thick secretive silence.

"What is it?" I ask, trepidation creeping into my tone.

No response.

And I can feel my nerves bubbling up, fingers fidgeting as I twist them anxiously, even Jungkookie's arm has gone stiff.

It makes me feel sick. Because I can practically feel how tense everyone is, the bond is heavy and weighed down with the tension, this sense of guilt, of feeling sick.

And I can't tell who it's coming from now.

"Just spit it out. Whatever it is, just say it." I say firmly, feeling anxious with the way some of my mates part their mouths to speak but no sound, no words come out.

Yoongi oppa is steadfastly avoiding my gaze, head ducked down and curls into himself- posture defeated and sorrowful.

The silence makes me feel sick. 

And I feel like I could scream with frustration and nervousness.

But then comes a slight timid voice, barely there but somehow carries easily through the room, caught by my ears. It comes from in front of me.

Comes by Hobi's mouth parting to say it, eyes a mixture of guilty and afraid.

"To save you...we had no choice but...but to turn you." he confesses.

I freeze. What?

And though I'd like nothing better to feign ignorance, to pretend I don't know what the term means, it filters through my mind, penetrates it viciously and mercilessly.

They changed me? My hands fall to my hands, to myself- trying desperately to see, spot some change in me, see a visible difference that says to me I'm no longer human.

"You're lying." I say but my voice falls flat, sounds empty and hollow to my own ears.

Tae shakes his head, eyes sparkling with tears as he reaches for me.

I curl into myself, bring my knees to my chest even as I feel my stomach protest with agonising pain, back and shoulder screaming as I draw my arms around my knees, try to make myself small.

"I'm a vampire." I mumble, knowing everyone's heard, hear it loudly in my own ears too.

There's no changing facts.

But for some reason I can't seem to believe it.

It can't be...that I went through that experience as human and somehow woke up as a vampire.

It doesn't click, doesn't get processed as fact.

And even though my body protests I uncurl my arms, let them fall limply to my side and start moving.

Gritting my teeth I move, slowly edging myself off the bed, trying not to flinch when a pair of arms stop me, and meet Gyeomie's eyes.

"Tell me it's not true." I whisper.

His face crumples.

"I wish I could." He says, I push at his hands, surprised when for once my hands are easily able to dislodge them, move them with no effort.

"(Y/N)...you shouldn't be moving. You'll aggravate your injuries." Joonie's worried voice comes from right behind me.

"I...I need to see for myself." I say, stumbling forward and worming my way past the others, a buzzing sound in my ears- a high pitch that drowns out everything else, allows me to ignore the footsteps that follow me, the harried worried voices that call after me.

I pull open the bathroom door, moving towards the sink peering frantically at my reflection. Nothing seems out of place, I still see me but when Yoongi oppa moves forward, hand outstretched for me, my mates moving closer in a protective circle- I see it.

My eyes flash red. Registering the close proximity of my mates. It's brief and almost instantly vanishes, melting back into the normal colour again. I freeze, hands flat onto the edge of the sink.

My stomach churns, mind revolts at the thought- unable to process how suddenly it seems to have happened and I can feel the feeling in my throat get tighter- lump growing, lungs constricting.

I try to force breaths of air in but breathe in the strong mixture of scents. My stomach spasms and I curl over the sink as I'm sick, eyes watering and stomach churning and emptying itself. I shudder and shake as I'm sick, feel distantly someone holding me lightly, loosely, hair brushed back from my face and shirt loose and sagging on my body. I feel the tears splash against my cheek, feel my knees buckle as I lose the strength and will to hold myself up.

I feel myself sinking, wading through thick water, eyes blurred and body lightly meeting the ground, a presence near me, falling with me.

And I drown...drown under the sudden realisation that my life will never be the same, that everything I knew and took for granted was gone. And it was never coming back.

I cry for the me who died that night, cry for the life I had once lived and cry because now nothing seems certain anymore.

(THERE YOU GO! SHE FINALLY KNOWS SHE'S A VAMPIRE AND IT'S COMPLETELY RATIONAL AND LOGICAL FOR HER TO FEEL SHOCKED, CONFUSED AND UNCERTAIN AND UNHAPPY- BECAUSE WHILST SHE MAY HAVE WILLINGLY CHANGED ONE DAY, THIS IS NOT THE WAY THAT SHE WANTED OR ANY OF THEM WANTED. AND EVEN THOUGH THE TRUTH IS OUT, IT'LL BE SOME TIME FOR HER TO GET ONTO THE ROAD OF RECOVERY, BUT I KNOW SHE HAS AN ARMY OF SUPPORTERS BEHIND HER- AND HER MATES TO REASSURE, COMFORT AND GUIDE HER EVERY STEP OF THE WAY! BUT IF YOU THINK NEXT CHAPTER THAT SHE'LL BE FINE...THINK AGAIN. AND I HOPE EVERYONE IS EQUIPPED WITH TISSUES, SEATBELTS IN AND WEAPONS PREPPED IN CASE. WE'RE IN FOR A LOOOONG RIDE! STAY SAFE AND TAKE CARE LOVES!)

We are made and defined and shaped by the people around us- so have people around you who are strong, caring individuals, spend time with those who raise you up not push you down and give them the same guidance and comfort that they are able to give to you.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3