Chapter 19- it hurts
JIN POV:
There's a sudden shift. Palpable for all that it's barely noticeable to the eyes. A tightness in the Ims, a stiffness that has only solidified further. Beyond the living room there's the sound of a door opening, a happy voice filtering through the air. And then a face appears in the doorway. Bambam.
But his face falls, eyes widen and face blanches- pallor whiter than the usual vampire complexion. His voice is forcibly jovial, strained slightly- as if forcefully attempting to keep the waver out of it.
Then another head appears over his shoulder- the new nestling; Yugyeom. But he looks like he's been shocked, body jolting backward.
"Oh hyungs, I didn't know you were here." Body shifting to fill the doorway, large frame blocking the hallway from view.
There's something odd, but also something intriguing that makes me hasten to my feet and move forward, even as Bambam stances his body to block me. I nudge him aside, careful not to use my full strength. The last thing I need is to strain our relationship with this coven because I harmed one of their nestmates.
My eyes fall on the sight of the girl from yesterday, the girl I was so sure was our final mate. I can't believe she's standing there in the flesh- as if fate has guided her to this moment, brought her to us. It's too compelling to ignore or overlook.
But then in the silence of the house, from the stillness of the vampires comes a thudding steady sound, the strong proof of a human. My eyes alight on her, note the flush of her cheeks from the blood that rushes through her body, the very human way her body moves, mouth parted as she drinks in gulps of air. Human. Our final mate is human?
Centuries of indoctrinated views, lessons about humans as the enemy, drilled in lectures about never consorting with one comes jolting through me, forcing my body into an automatic response even as my brain sits there sluggishly- attempting to overcome the reeling effect of this new knowledge. Human. Human.
And my body recoils, twisting away from her with engrained disgust and revulsion even if my mind picks up on the way her eyes fall- a flash of hurt before she pushes the emotion away.
"You're human?" I ask, unable to keep the disbelief out of my voice. Surprised that I've managed to stop the horror from bleeding into my voice.
Her shoulders stiffen, squaring up slightly, and I note the defensive stance her body has automatically shifted into. A guarded look in her eyes.
"Yes. Why?" the strength and unwavering tone to her voice surprises me, a firm, unyielding quality to the soft lilt to her voice. A voice of velvet-wrapped steel.
And I find myself lost for words. Don't know how to respond, if I want to respond. What to say?
Nothing makes sense, my mind is jumbled- trying to deal with the fact that she's human.
But I also can't deny the way my body thrums with pent-up energy, veins humming in surprise and overwhelming, crushing relief that it's her. She's our mate. That dizzying exhilarating feeling threatens to overcome all that I've been taught- wants to push aside all those words drilled into me, for favour of holding her close. Even if a part of me shudders at the notion.
But I want to learn the truth.
Separate facts from the muddled conclusions Joonie and I might've drawn. And set things straight.
But I can already see the impeding obstacles this will pose- see the cracks of dissent it might bring into our bond; I don't need my ability to foresee that.
And at that moment, I see a human and perhaps for the first time...I truly fear her. For how her presence could shatter us all apart. If this isn't dealt with properly. Carefully.
Jaebum appears behind me, shouldering past to draw the girl into his arms with a familiarity and ease that sends both confusion and slight pangs of jealousy through me. But there's no reason for me to feel jealous, right?
"I think we best have this conversation sitting down." He calls over his shoulders, not even turning to spare me a glance, attention occupied by the small mortal he encases within his arms.
The coven has visibly shifted into a defensive, protective stance, all of them moving and shifting closer to Jaebum and the girl, as if subtly placing themselves around her so that they can protect her should things get out of hand.
And the thought both troubles and irks me more than it should.
Namjoon's eyes flash to mine, silently communicating with me, trying to see if I'm hurt or bothered by her sudden presence. I shake my head slightly- a small inclination that has him releasing some of the stiffness in his body. And when I sit back down next to him, he wastes no time in grasping my hand- needing the comfort himself too as well as providing it.
My eyes are drawn again to the girl, the way Jinyoung tenderly unwraps the scarf from around her neck- as though he has all the time in the world, fingers drifting to brush against her cheek in greeting, the action filled with love. She shrugs out of her coat, revealing a soft knitted jumper that swallows the top half of her frame, jeans which sculpt to her legs, legs that tuck under and press against Jaebum's. The ease in their actions indicate at a level of intimacy and familiarity between them.
Her fingers, small and slender poke out from the end of her jumper, pulling the beanie off and ruffling the cascade of waves, pushing them off her shoulders. The fingers then go to play with the hem of her jumper, and it's then when it clicks. They're fidgeting. She's nervous.
And then Mark speaks up, voice both reserved and slightly hard.
"Why do you care if she is our nestling?" he asks, eyes scrutinising the two of us with an intensity that threatens to unnerve me, ruffle my composure.
"Because...because." Namjoon starts but is unable to bring the words out of his mouth, his usual eloquent manner for once stilted and jilted.
And then when her hand goes to tuck a strand behind her ear, her sleeve falls down, revealing two puncture marks on the inside of her wrist.
It makes the blood in my body freeze, heart sit achingly heavy in my chest and the words pour out of me in a bitter torrent.
"You're mated." I say and am surprised at the bitterness and dead quality to my words.
But inside my soul is screaming, pleading for it to be a lie.
She flinches at the harshness in my tone, recoils back slightly. And then Yugyeom is leaning towards her, a hand sliding protectively around her waist, eyes flashing warningly at me- crimson with simmering rage.
Silently daring me to say anything else, a warning to hold back,
Her fingers wrap protectively around her wrist, covering the puncture marks from view.
"So what if I am? What's it to you?" she says, voice cold and unfeeling but her eyes are filled with trepidation.
"Because you're my mate. OURS. And your body should've rejected the mating bond from whoever it was. So tell me how it makes sense, make me understand why by some twisted turn of fate we ended up tethered to you. A human." I say, voice growing louder with my agitation and hurt.
And by the end of my outburst, I didn't realise I had stood up, strode forward but am met with the barrier of the coven, shielding her from view, shielding her from me.
And it hurts. Hurts so much.
I feel like my soul is aching with her absence even as my mind hisses at me to reject her.
Reject the bond before the others get hurt.
But then Jackson moves aside unhappily, growling his dissent even as he unwillingly moves to allow her to move forward.
Until she's standing so close to me- so close that it aches, physically hurts to stand there, and do nothing.
But her voice is harsh and grating to my heart and soul. Even as her eyes brim with hurt.
"Don't think you know me, having not even met me properly. I don't even know your name and you're flinging accusations in my face. One thing for sure- you shattered any hopes and dreams I had for meeting my soulmate for the first time. Thanks for that." she hisses before roughly pushing past, storming out of the living room, the door sounding shut with a loud slam that threatens to echo in my ears later, to return to plague me.
I realise my eyes are brimming with raging tears when they splash against my cold cheeks, and I twist furiously to eye them.
"You stole our mate. She hates us already, and she's human. This day keeps getting worse." I hiss. And I know it's the anger speaking, that the regret will come back in crashing waves. But at the moment I can't bring myself to care.
It had gone wrong so quickly.
And right now, I want to leave. To wipe away every trace of her from my mind, and to let the intoxicating scent of her to stop plaguing me.
I turn to leave, Namjoon right behind me before I'm stepping out into the cold air.
And as we walk to the car, the trail of her scent mockingly overwhelms my senses- marking a path of where she ran. Of how she ran. Away from me. Us.
And just a part of me, a small tiny part of me doesn't miss the fact that she left without her coat and scarf. That she had ran out into the cold.
And it had been because of me.
(Y/N) POV:
The moment I storm out of the house, the instant where I turn away actually, I feel guilt begin to seep in mingling with the anger and fuelling me to get further away, to put more distance between us, to flee almost.
I couldn't stand the hurt and accusation in the male's eyes, couldn't stand to see a frown on his lips and above all couldn't stand that they were directed at me. Flung at me as if I was somehow meant to account for it, justify my actions and soothe the stranger- all whilst trying to ignore the gnawing hurt deep in my soul, as if somehow that was in pain too.
The cold wind nips sharply at my face, cutting at me and forcing me to feel. A sharp bitter chill that blows through my hair and attacks me- suddenly making me come to the realisation that I had left without a coat or my scarf. My eyes water from the icy weather, mind replaying the scene on an unstoppable loop over and over again, the memory of it hurting me as if he'd physically inflicted a blow.
A humourless laugh leaves me lips, fills the air, and vanishes with the gust of wind, leaving me to stumble alone, freezing, through the icy streets. I let my feet carry me anywhere, mindlessly walking around until the streets become void of life and it's only me with the cold weather for company.
I try to push away the guilt, it hadn't been my fault he had blown up, taken one look at the puncture marks on my wrist and flung words at me in a corrosive tone that had somehow dissolved all my barriers and sent the words shooting directly for my heart. It had hurt. And because it had hurt I had thrown out my own words in defence.
The conversation, brief though it was, dances tauntingly around my mind, words echoing in my head over and over and when I finally stop, feet coming to a halt, I look up in surprise and find that I am somehow standing outside the book cafe. The welcoming interior inviting as usual, urging me to step inside- allow the warmth of the café seep into my bones and attempt to fight away the chill that has settled there.
I stare wistfully at the spot in my dream, where the footsteps had grown closer and closer, where I had waited with bated breath and an eager heart for whoever it was to step out and see me, the tug at my centre easing slightly- telling me they were near. And the way it had slipped away, leaving me with an ache in my chest. As if it was hollow and gaping.
"(Y/N)-ah!" a voice says loudly, hands settling on my shoulders as they lightly shake me.
I meet deep red eyes that look down at me, face twisted in concern. Hyun-ah.
"Why are you freezing cold?" he says in a sharp tone, even as he begins to already shepherd me in further into the warmth, gently pushing me into an armchair that is near a radiator. I sink down into it, barely feeling the nudge. He kneels down in front of me, grabbing my hands into his own and wincing at the temperature.
"Noona, you can't be wondering out in the cold. You're human, you can get cold and ill." He insists, concern seeping in, the term of endearment so natural to my ears- even though there's barely three months between us.
I don't know when he leaves but soon he's draping a thick blanket over me, wrapping me up with painstaking care, the furrow in his brow deepening when he notes I've got no coat.
"Stay here noona." He urges pressing a hot mug into my hands before standing up slowly. I tilt towards the radiator- seeking the warmth desperately, hoping that it can somehow thaw the numbing ache threatening to settle.
The word soulmate swirls around my head in a fog of confusion, sadness, and fear.
Was he really my soulmate? One of...how many? And why had he been so defensive, so accusatory?
The dreams of meeting the one who was born to complete my soul, to be the one to fill my heart with happiness, a completion only found in them- was so harshly different from what the reality had been. The reality was harsh- he was disappointed that I was his mate, repulsed by it.
A twisted turn of fate he'd called it that had tethered him to a human. To me.
That meant he didn't like humans and was disgusted- it clearly meant that the others would behave in a similar way. And honestly, I didn't know if my heart and soul could survive that much resentment directed at me. Simply because I was born as a human. The enemy in their eyes.
Twisted turn of fate. Twisted turn of fate. I was the twisted turn. And the weight of that made my thoughts curdle, made me flinch.
The mug in my hands has long gone cold, and I stare down at the drink, having no appetite for it.
I realised then that I didn't have my phone, my purse...nothing. They sat in the confines of my coat pockets. That meant I had no way to tell the coven that I was fine- which meant I was set up for a long scolding.
I sighed at the thought.
And then a voice interrupted my thoughts, pierced through the fog clouding my mind.
"(Y/N). Do you mind if we sit here?" a low deep voice asks; I raise my head to see who the voice belongs to.
My eyes land on a familiar figure. There are two males dressed up in jackets and scarves, warm brown eyes looking at me with intrigue. One of them are beautiful doe-eyes, apprehensive but curious as he stands slightly behind the other figure, peeking over a shoulder. And the other is a face I recall seeing in this very café. The vampire who'd been hovering near Hye-Jin some time back.
Kim Taehyung. It takes a moment to place his name.
And he's standing there grinning at me, boxy smile as he nods towards the two chairs near my own, hands holding a tray.
And the sheer openness in his voice, the way his eyes sparkle with hope. I can't say no, no matter how much I'm hurting and want to be alone.
I can't muster the strength in my voice to speak so I nod.
And when he shifts to sit down into one of the chairs, the figure behind him becomes recognisable. The boy from the café. The vampire who had been verbally attacked.
"You...." I start, slight confusion as one of my fingers raise to point to him.
What is he doing here?
(THERE YOU GO! A SLIGHTLY LONGER CHAPTER THAN USUAL BUT I COULDN'T HELP MYSELFF- JIN WAS DEMANDING TO HAVE MORE TO SAY AND DO AND HENCE IT ENDED UP BEING LONGER- BUT NO REGRETS! AND OUCH! OFF TO A BAD START- LET'S SEE WHERE THIS GOES! AND TAE AND KOOK TURNING UP- COINCIDENTIAL OR NOT? ONLY TIME WILL TELL! LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS AS USUAL AND THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT- 11K READS?? ALL DOWN TO YOU LOVELIES- STAY SAFE!)
If you want to cry, cry. If you want to laugh, laugh. Don't hold back your emotions, don't let anything or anyone stop you from living and expressing yourself to your fullest! Be you and do so boldly.
Borahae! 💜💜💜
PurpleQueenie <3
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