⚠️ MENTIONS VIOLENCE, ABUSE ⚠️

KOOK POV:

I crouch down, pressing my back against the alcove and trying to sink back to hide from view, the small filtering rays of light no longer on my body as I hide. The sound of my breathing is rushed, loud to my ears and so giving, so revealing of where I'm hidden. And I try to muffle the sound of my breathing, try to hide it knowing it'll be blatantly clear in the current silence.

And there's the sound of slightly quick breathing that joins me, can be heard from the slight distance that the person is from my spot, approaching with light steps.

And their body makes an obstacle to the incoming rays of light, blocks them out completely, breaths quickening as they move closer and closer, as if they've sensed something.

And then from the small gap between the alcove and the outer hallway, my hand darts out, fisting into the loose fabric and tugging, arms shooting out to scoop them close, hands gripping at their arms as I pull them onto me. A messy, bumpy collision that's punctuated with a sharp intake of breath and then a small giggle.

"(Y/N) shhh!" I hiss, hand going to clamp down on her mouth, where her breathy giggles were, though being utterly adorable, giving away our hiding place.

"The others will find us if you keep this up." I whisper quietly, my other hand shifting her to be more comfortably placed on my lap, tugging her close.

"Fine fine. You say it as if the others won't find us." she whispers back at me.

In the darkness, the sight of her is still clear, soft and excited as she looks at me. I smile at her.

"And why's that? When I have the house's most treasured, loved inhabitant right here on my lap." I whisper back triumphantly.

Her eyes widen with understanding and then scepticism.

"Why would the house help me? During a chase of all things." She questions.

My smile widens.

"Oh sweet baby mate. You underestimate the house's attachment to you. And its enjoyment towards the others' struggle." I say, amusement lacing in my tone.

She huffs but wriggles to get comfier, leaning in close.

"So that's it? The house will automatically hide us?" she asks.

I nod.

"No need to do something?" she whispers. I shake my head.

"But what about—" she begins and this time my hand doesn't return to silence her, my lips do. Bruising and unrelenting as they press to hers, silencing all the silly questions as I kiss her, lips moving lazily, slowly against her, perfectly content to share in this stolen, hidden moment in a secret alcove- hidden together and bodies pressed close, gravitating closer and closer, feeling the way her lips reciprocate just as fiercely, just as intensely, hands gripping the strands of my hair and urging me closer just as she leans in more.

And when our lips slide away from each other, it's hastily, a gasp against my lips and her hand tightening in my hair as her head falls back. Only then I realise the light that has fallen on us, the small, filtered rays now a stream that washes over us, the sight of her so much clearer. But that's not why our lips had moved away from each other, it's because of the way the air thickens with crackling energy, the way the lazy, slow ember between the two of us spikes into a burning flame that licks at skin and leaves a pool of heat to seep into our veins.

And there crouching in front of us with an amused expression is Yoongi hyung, eyes flaring crimson as he takes in the sight of us, as he leans in to brush his hand over the mating mark at (Y/N)'s throat; clearly the reason her lips had slid away from mine, eyes lidded as she swallows.

"Two errant baby mates? And I happen to be the one to find them? Well...isn't it my lucky day?" Yoongi hyung muses, lips quirked up in a gummy smile, the flash of his fangs endearingly sweet as he leans into the space the two of us are pressed into.

"What to do? Declare myself as winner and gain bragging rights...or..." he muses aloud.

(Y/N) whimpers when his thinking aloud comes with a tighter pressure against her mating mark, his eyes flaring red with satisfaction before he removes his thumb to press soft kisses there, nosing against it- a starkly different intent as he soothes, her body curling into me as she sags.

"You're mean! Stop using the marks' sensitivity against me." she mumbles against my collar.

Yoongi hyung huffs before he's moving to worm his way into the alcove, that I'm sure widens to accommodate the three of us; it had been a tight squeeze for me when I'd initially hidden inside. And when he's settled beside me.

"I'm sorry sweet one. I'll give up bragging rights to cuddle you with endless apologies." He offers, voice contrite but eyes full of mischief. And when her head turns to face him, to scrabble close, I mourn the loss of her slight warmth against me and shoot hyung an accusatory glance.

His eyes fond as he opens his other arm for me to curl into.

And together the three of us hide, hearing the indignant yells and calls of our mates as they rush around trying to find us; loud exclamations from Tae hyung that the house is playing favourites, and this time Jin hyung is equally loud in voicing his agreement.

But it seems like the house has had enough of our baby mate being hogged by the two of us, or maybe it enjoys seeing the others gripe and complain to the point that it cannot bear the unfair laments and threats. Because suddenly there's footsteps growing closer and they don't pass by this time, there's a low murmur before the air ripples.

And Jin hyung's unimpressed face looking down at us.

"Found you." he says, slightly resigned but the spark of amusement and challenge doesn't leave his eyes. Eyes that slowly drift away from me to see the other two cosied up together.

Eyes flashing red.

"I swear there's no point in getting visions when all it showed was a blank wall. That really helps doesn't it?" he remarks self-depreciatingly, sighing aloud and dragging a hand down his face.

But then there's soft fondness curving against his lips.

"Now are the three of you coming out or am I going to have to try to fit too." He asks.

"Why don't you make us hyung?" I ask, lips curving up with challenge.

The flash of crimson is the only warning we get, I get. Before he's darting in, hand outstretched to swipe at me.

------

"You're really good at hiding Kookie! I didn't know you were there until you reached out to grab me." (Y/N) muses, watching with twinkling eyes at the way I'm curled up in Jin hyung's lap, eyes flashing briefly with amusement, the traitor, at the slight redness the nip Jin hyung had given had left behind. Claimed I had no right preening and rubbing it in his face just how close and intimately the two of us had been pressed together before Yoongi hyung had found us.

I give a small laugh, shift to settle better on Jin hyung's lap- if he insists on keeping me there then might as well be comfortable.

"I'm not the greatest. But I've had plenty of experience." I say nonchalantly. But it makes Jin hyung stiffen and freeze, makes his hand petting at my waist tighten, almost bruising, against my skin. Once upon a time it would've. Once upon a time bruises on my skin had been normal.

(Y/N)'s bright, open expression falls. Understanding flashing in her eyes alongside protective rage. It's a rare look on her face but it's one that makes her features seem striking and strong. Has her stiffening on the sofa, hand frozen where it had been brushing through Hobi hyung's hair.

"Koo..." she breathes, body seeming to jerk forward towards me of its own accord, face scrunched with hurt.

The tight grounding squeeze doesn't relent. Because the words have unintentionally made Jin hyung remember, made the others remember too.

And the two most haunted looks come from Jiminie hyung and Tae hyung.

Faces flashing with searing grief as their hands now turn tight and grip at each other for comfort, for reassurance.

Because they'd been the ones to find me that fateful night.

They'd been the ones to turn me.

------

The constant throb never leaves. The constant weary ache that has sunk deep into my bones always lingers. The marks and bruises and jagged lines always leave their jumbled jigsaw to mar my body. Day in, day out. A blur of the world melting away, of passing me by, the searing agony being the only thing that never changed, never faded. Had been a constant companion long enough that I didn't remember a life without it.

A hand fists into my jacket and slams me against a shutter, distantly my back screams with the pain, with the force- pushes through that thick desolate fog that my mind constantly seemed to be plunged in. Maybe once I would've cared, would've tried to fight back, would've struggled against the hand fisting into my shirt and torn it away.

Now none of that fight remained. None of that struggle, none of that will to fight back, to live even. Nothing stirs inside me as I take the hits, as I stare blankly at the faces twisted with rage, venom and seething hatred. They always felt so intensely, always felt so vividly against me. Sometimes in the moments when my body was bruised, when my soul was battered and broken, when I was well and truly alone I envied those faces. For always being so open and unguarded with their expressions. For never hesitating in getting their thoughts and emotions across.

I wished I could do that.

Wish I didn't have to always hide the agony that tore apart my soul, that broke it more and more day by day and left no hope for it to heal. Wish that even for an instant, even for a moment I could let the words, the screams, the sobs I always stifled, I always only ever dared to let out muffled in the dead of night, when the world was deeply asleep and only I was awake. And so only I was witness to my grief.

Tomorrow it'll be another crash against the wall. Another endless rain of pain and blows. Another day of existing and wishing my body would give up, wishing that it would all just stop. And I would cease to be.

And so I welcome the hail of fists, kicks and brute force. I welcome the pain even as it forces and pushes grunts and groans of pains out of my mouth, has my eyes watering despite themselves and my body instinctively jerking to try and curve in, to block away the hits.

"Are you a pain whore? Do you get off of being beaten? Dumb sicko." A deep rough voice grits, breath hot and rancid against my face as he pushes into my space, as he glares with burning venom in those brown eyes.

And when his hand comes forward, it comes with the stabbing pain of metal slicing skin, a new development to our daily interactions that he'd been all too happy to get familiar to. A cry tears out my throat as I hunch over, blade sinking deeper into my stomach. Wetness pools around it, sticking to the shirt, soaking through it and turning his hand crimson.

Yet there's no fear, nothing but a vicious vindicative pleasure.

From the same boy who'd grown up on these streets besides me, who'd had just as tough of a childhood, family life. And the same boy who'd harnessed that same anger and hurt into shielding himself off, hurting others; turning it onto me, to the only person who knew every detail of the harsh reality that had once bound us together.

"How can you keep smiling Jungkook? How can you just stare at me with those pitiful eyes?" Seo Hyuk hisses, hand still wrapped around the blade.

It was both a consolation and a curse that the person bringing me this pain was someone I knew. It meant that someone still held some sort of connection to me, someone held me in enough regard to remember my name, remember what I had meant once. That moment what was eons ago enough to still hate, still hurt day after day. And a curse because to them I had no significance, no positive meaning in their life.

"The same...the same way you keep on hurting." I wheeze out, words thick and twisting against my tongue.

Because that was his way of coping. This was mine. To keep on going, to keep on breathing through the pain. Only I knew just how many pieces I was crumbling into day by day after each word, each strike. Only I knew what lay around the tired, stitched on grimace that was a smile for the world.

And the fist that comes careening into my jaw, sends pain lancing up the side of my face, has my teeth biting down on the inside of my cheek and the taste of blood, metallic and warm on my tongue.

"Then we keep going. You your way. And I mine." His words are a dark promise.

Of yet another day.

Of yet another night's silence shattered with my groans and cries.

And yet something is different.

Something that disrupts the cycle of pain and anguish.

Because as the knife is wrenched out of me, it's to be plunged into another part of me. But the sudden glare of lights in an alley where the streetlights never worked has the three of us blinking, my eyes hazily turning towards the harsh glare, squinting against it as the vehicle approaches.

A resigned, weary sigh and a vehement curse.

And the feel of hot brush and the twist of a knife.

"See you Jungkookie!" a mocking tap to my face and a cheery voice in my ear.

And the violent shove as my body is pushed into the path of the vehicle, the glare brighter.

The flash of the car lights are blinding, send my head reeling.

But the car is approaching too quick and my body is too slow, I see the slight look of panic only beginning to make it's way onto the driver's face, a flash of where my eyes meet hazed, intoxicated ones.

And then the aching moment of collision, pain consuming me whole, the rough pavement rushing up to meet me and nothing.

My shut eyes flutter to the sound of panicked breathing, rushed and loud in my ears, to the feeling of a strong pressure on my abdomen, against where Seo Hyuk had pushed knife to meet flesh in an intimate, vicious touch, pain flaring as what feels like hands press against it, my head cushioned against a muscled thigh.

"...he's still bleeding. Jiminie why won't it stop?" the voice is panicked, it's deepness cracked with hysteria, coming from somewhere above me, floating into the air.

"He'll be fine Tae...he has to be." Another voice says, a gentleness cracked with pain, gentle hands coming to pat at my cheeks, murmuring for me to get up. But it's hard to pry open eyes that seem cemented shut, hard to see just who it is who's speaking towards me with such softness, such delicate need.

"Can you open your eyes please? Just a look...please." The deep hoarse voice pleads, their body jostling mine, sending a consuming inferno of pain to dart up my legs and hips, a deep groan of pain slipping out past my lips, the bodies on either side of me stiffening.

"Oh...please, please. Please be okay. Please hold on." the voice nearest to my ears sobbing, a litany of pleas and begging words, clutching tightly at me, hands cold, so, so cold and yet painstakingly gentle.

There's something so innately different about their presences that even through the pain that pushes away every other thought and sensation, it doesn't manage to push away the tiny shred of inexplicable comfort I'm feeling.

And as their hands move to gently jostle me, to try and get me to open my eyes, which I try, I try to pry them open to see the faces of the ones who are showing me this kindness, their franticness increases, and suddenly there's a sudden shift in the air. Something that I distantly realise is a coldness that fills the air, air that seems to thicken, that makes drawing in the little breath I can, difficult.

And then somehow softens. Air that warms and becomes gentle.

"Jiminie, Tae...what happened?" a soft voice asks as another body seems to move close to me, gentle hands that cup the side of my neck, finger pressing to the pulse. It's only when that hand touches my neck do I realise it's wet, uncomfortably damp and slick.

A low indecipherable murmur and the feeling of warmth, no burning scalding heat, coursing out from where the hand touches my throat, has a pained whimper trying to build, too weak to fully form.

Because the scalding heat is something that makes my body torn between the unknown need to push close to it and the need to get away.

And with great effort I force my eyelids to open, a slow ache as my eyes seem to burn, tears spilling over when they finally open, hot wetness against cold, cold skin, vision too blurry to see anything. And the foggy outlines I can make of people standing over me remain undecipherable.

The head closest to me bends forward, slowly making out the sight of a face scrunched with grief and pain.

"You're going to be fine. You're going to make it." The voice says, low and gentle and yet slightly stiff and harsh.

Make it.

The voice was promising that it would be okay, that I would be okay.

And I didn't have it in me to believe it.

"Stay with us please...don't leave us. Don't stop fighting." One of the earlier voices pleads, the one that had been near my head, the slight brush of lips near my ear.

And then a sharp intake of breath.

My head turns, even as a cry of alarm and a pair of hands move to stop me.

"I...I don't have it in me to keep fighting. I've lost." I force the words out, tongue not cooperating with my mind, with the words I'm trying to get out.

And as my eyes flutter shut, as my mind begins to be swarmed with that darkness once more, I hear the soft broken murmur of someone else, of the desperation to live winding around my heart.

"But we've not even begun fighting for you."

And suddenly the darkness that sweeps in is no longer something I crave or lean towards.

But it takes me with it anyways.

-----

I wind my arms around Jin hyung, pressing an apologetic kiss to the curve of his jaw. His grip which had steadily tightened as I spoke now unyielding and his head pressed close.

I didn't mean to upset them by bringing it up. But the words had spilled out and (Y/N) deserved to know, she'd seen, known glimpses of my past- but now she knew it all.

It was something that still had a semblance of a grip on me, some power because I don't realise I'd been crying until Joon hyung leans forward to wipe the tears away, to press a soft kiss to both my cheeks when he's done and look at me with hurting crimson eyes.

"You're fine, you survived." He whispers.

I nod.

I did. I survived. I overcame the darkness that was my life, that came with being human, with feeling and suffering so vividly, so intensely.

I'd never hurt like that again. And it was after I'd been turned that I'd learnt what love was, what compassion and warmth and tenderness felt like. It was after escaping the grip of humans I'd realised that the myths and stories had it all wrong.

That for me humanity had been the darkness that corrupted the earth and vampires that had been salvation.

And that ironically it was with vampires I'd learnt what the term humanity had meant. That people didn't need beating hearts to have beautiful souls.

And now (Y/N) knows. She knows that I came with an ugly past. I came with wounds and scars that still hadn't fully healed.

The fog of pain hovers for the rest of the day, comes in the form of Jimin hyung and Tae hyung pressed close, physically touching in one way or the other. Comes in the form of Hobi hyung's gentle fretting and silent fussing, in the way Yoongi hyung drags me into his arms for a long cuddle and the way Jin hyung is especially tactile as he holds me when I'm feeding.

But it begins to fade too with each of their touch, with each of their silent reassurances of love, of forever.

And disappears when (Y/N) silently clambers into bed beside me, holds her arms open and wraps them around in a squeezing hug as I nestle close, hands wrapped around her as she tucks her head over me.

"I love you Koo. And thank you...for fighting, for surviving and for being here with me." she murmurs.

I feel the prickling sensation in my eyes and squeeze them shut.

"If you hadn't been here today, I don't think I would've survived the transition from human to vampire. I know that if you hadn't been here I'd have been suffering for much, much longer." She whispers as she holds me.

I hold her tighter.

"Just the way the others helped you, you've helped me. I'm so lucky to call you mine. To be mated to you Kookie." (Y/N) says.

She doesn't speak for me to respond, she speaks to let me know. And that's how we fall asleep, her arms wound protectively around me, the safe refuge within them protecting me from any nightmares.

And I wake up to being cocooned from either side, I raise my head and sit up to see that at some point during the night Jimin hyung and Tae hyung had snuck in and curled around us on either side of the bed.

The arm that had snuck under my shirt to curl around my stomach tightens and a sleepy voice calls out.

"Come back and cuddle baby." Tae hyung's voice, deep and laced with sleep beckons me, lulls me back down, has me twisting around to face him, sleepy eyes peering at me.

"I'm glad we found you that night Kookie. I'm glad of it every single day of my life." he confesses.

A smile curves at my lips as I turn to cuddle close.

"I'm glad too. That I got a reason to live again." I murmur.

And with the bond satiated and soothed by the closeness of my other nestmates close I fall asleep. In the warmth that goes beyond physical, in the warmth that spreads outwards from my heart and courses through my body.

And that's how we're found by our other mates, hours later. With fond smiles peering down at us.

This is what I'd fought to live for. And what I'd always fight for.

Home.

Family.

Mates.

Belonging.

(THERE WE GO! NOW KOO DIDN'T HAVE THE BEST LIFE! HIS PAST WAS MENTIONED AND REFERRED TO QUITE A BIT COMPARED TO THE OTHERS IN THE EARLIER PARTS OF THE BOOK BUT HERE WE HAVE IT! KOOK WAS BULLIED AND TORMENTED AND STRAIGHT UP ABUSED DAILY, AND IT WAS AFTER THE DRUNK DRIVER CRASHED INTO KOOKIE, DITCHED AND RAN THAT MINNIE AND TAE FOUND HIM, BLEEDING OUT ONTO THE ROAD. THEY WERE THE ONES THERE AS HE WAS BLEEDING, AS HE WAS DYING AND WHEN KOOKIE FELL UNCONCSCIOUS AND NEARLY DIED- THEY WERE THE ONES WHO TURNED HIM. SO THAT IS ONE OF MANY REASONS WHY THE MAKNAE LINE ARE SUPER SUPER CLOSE! HOPE THAT YOU LIKED GETTING THAT INSIGHT EVEN IF IT'S NOT SOMETHING ENJOYABLE TO READ ABOUT AS A TOPIC! LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS! AND I WONDER IF ANYONE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO SEO HYUK! WITH KOO'S TRAGIC PAST WE COME TO AN END TO THE FLASHBACK SERIES! IF ANY OF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN SEEING A FUTURE CHAPTER ON THE NIGHT (Y/N)'S PARENTS WERE MURDERED- LET ME KNOW! BUT NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE A BONUS CHAPTER LOOKING AT THE PRESENT! TAKE CARE AND STAY SAFE LOVES!)

Take a moment to stop and think. Ask yourself whether you're living for yourself or whether you're living for others. Are you living with the burdens of the labels that your relationship with others bring or are you living as the person who comes before all of that? And remember that the greatest cause of living, the biggest push and the biggest motivation in life, whatever stage you are in, whatever it is you're doing- that you're doing this for you, that you're doing something because you want to. And if that's not the case, then take some time to remember that you are the most important person in your life. Live for you and not others.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3