YOONGI POV:

"You don't need to hide hyung, you've done nothing wrong and nothing to be ashamed of." Joon calls through the door, knocking on it again.

I fiddle with the headphones, guilt stopping me from sliding them on and blocking out Joon's voice. Because I can't do that, not when it's so full of soft tender sincerity and gentle love, not when I can feel the waves of emotions permeating through the door. Maybe it's the house but maybe it's just my yearning to turn to him and let him in, to let anyone in and share my own pain and sorrow rather than wallow in it alone that makes me feel his longing to get to me mingle with my own.

I don't give a verbal response, the door does the talking for me by swinging open a fraction to allow Joon to poke his head in, hair rumpled and eyes soft- roving until they land on me in the corner.

"Can I come in hyung?" he asks.

I nod.

And he slips in, door shutting behind him as he pads in dressed in a large hoodie and loose pants, epitomising comfort and warmth and safety as he reaches the corner, padding towards me and sliding against the wall to sit next to me.

"Can I have a hug first or do you want to talk hyung?" Joon says, turning to me to extend the baggy sleeves off his hoodie-clad arms to me, face peeking out and looking at me sweetly from under his dishevelled hair.

It doesn't fail to escape my notice that he's mentioned both as not possibilities but only a matter of when. And he asks for the hug, as if he doesn't know the offer is there for my comfort.

I answer by reaching out to tug him into my arms, silently melting into the firm support his shoulder offers and the way that even being the bigger one from the two of us, he ducks down to make himself smaller, to fit more easily into my arms, nestling close.

And I figure that we might as well do both at the same time.

"I'm not hiding Joon-ah, not from anyone really." I start but even then I know the words ring false in my ears.

Aren't I hiding in a way?

Trying to pretend everything's normal when it feels like it isn't?

"What are you afraid of hyung? Is it us?" he asks, ducking his head up to peer at me.

Immediately I shake my head.

"Never you, never my mates, it's just I feel stupid. Stupid for feeling confused and scared still. Stupid for not being able to believe that we did it, that we got Chul." I say, feeling the bitterness towards myself in my tone.

Joon presses a finger to my lips, shushing me.

"Not stupid hyung. It's okay to feel like that. It's okay to hate the way you're feeling." He says.

I feel tears sting the corner of my eyes, feeling betrayed by the way my own emotions are giving me away, feeling stupid and resenting that my own abilities can't be used on myself.

Because if I could, I'd have removed them in a heartbeat. Would've gotten rid of this sickly, swirling feeling of being lost, adrift now that the problem in my life is being taken care of.

Who even feels like that?

I don't realise I'd been mumbling those words until Namjoon is straightening up to lean back slightly, peering at me with a look of understanding and hurt. Not hurt because of me, hurt for me.

"Don't ever think your silly for feeling things hyung, take as long as you need to overcome this. Chul took over your life for such a long time, it's natural to feel muddled up by it." Joonie says, on his knees looking at me earnestly.

His voice has the soft chiding tone, that slightly authoritative guidance and reassurance. And when I look at him, I see my mate who's ready to defend and protect his coven.

I nod.

"We'll get there together hyung." He promises.

And this time he tugs me into his arms and nestles his head in the crook of my neck, gently scraping his fangs against my mating mark, silently awaiting permission. And when I shift my neck to give him access, he gives a soothing nip that allows the tension to drain away, feeling his love emanate from the mark, fanning out and replacing all the horrible jumbled mess of negative emotions.

And that's how we stay for some time, wrapped up in each other's arms until I eventually get up, wanting to check up on (Y/N). I'd heard from Jin hyung that she'd visited Chul, that she'd been so brave and cold in front of him. But that's all it was...a front, a façade to hide her soft true self.

And I didn't want her hurting, wanted to see if I could help.

And that panicky feeling quickly vanishes when I find her curled up with Jiminie, the two of them looking content.

And that's how I find myself getting comfort from our youngest mate. from someone who's now immortal but her greatest strength is her still mortal heart. Because that's how she deals with issues and overcomes difficulties- because she still treats her life as something restrained by time. and as such treats time as valuable and limited, not endless and constant like I have.

Maybe that's why it's taking me so long to let go.

Because time had lost meaning with Chul- it had been an eternity under his torment.

And now that he was gone from my life, my immortal heart and soul couldn't grasp onto that quickly.

But when I saw (Y/N)'s strength and courage reflected back at me in her eyes, saw myself in them. I knew I could do it.

And maybe the first step started with gathering the strength to face the fallen state of the demon who'd plagued my life, of the person I'd given my everything to have my world snatched away cruelly and dangled tauntingly on his fingertips. It was time to meet Chul.

And it was time to end the chapter that had started centuries ago.

So I could move onto a new chapter with my mates.

JOON POV:

I glimpse the way (Y/N) seems to be touching her throat more unconsciously, fingers flitting to it as she eats dinner with us, pain flitting on and off her expression, never making a sound, never trying to give away that she was hurting.

I know I'm not the only one who's noticed, given the way Tae who'd been feeding her constantly from his plate, notes each painful bob of her throat as she tries to swallow the food without a grimace, lips whitening when she presses them tightly to stifle the sound. Or the way Kookie had been animatedly chatting to her but his eagerness had dwindled off when he'd heard just how shot her voice was sounding, taking on a slightly hoarse tone that she played off as her throat being dry and parched, taking long sips of water instead to fill her silence.

Hobi has been shooting her careful examining glances when she's not looking, and I know the healing energy must be pulsating and pushing at his skin, trying to escape and attend to our hurt mate. Jiminie who'd been next to me, taps my thigh to get my attention and gestures to her throat, frowning sadly at her bent head and the way she's given up the pretence of eating, just pushing her food around.

"Little one why won't you just say your throat is hurting you?" Yoongi hyung says softly and slightly chiding just as Jin hyung opens his mouth and asks, 'baby what's wrong?'. 

Yoongi hyung gets a slight glare from Jin hyung for calling her out on it, clearly intending to have gone down a different route. But there's no hiding and she drops her utensils, clattering against the plate to raise her head.

"Sorry...it would've required lots of words to say it." She confesses, shooting an apologetic look and wincing when it seems like the words are grating against her sensitive throat.

"But you were getting better, you were definitely getting better." Tae exclaims, voice slightly panicked and rising, eyes wide and flickering red.

She nods.

"I was." she sighs.

Then why the sudden change in her condition? Why has she suddenly reverted to the same pain levels of what reminds me of the days just after we got Chul.

Hobi frowns, getting up from his seat and hurrying off to the interior of the kitchen, busying himself with getting a mug.

And he returns within a minute and sets it down in front of her, taking her plate and moving it from sight.

"Take small sips of this." He says, face looking slightly pinched.

And everyone clear their plates in a hurry, food not even a priority when it comes to tending to our mate.

"(Y/N) come with me." Hobi says, holding his hand out for her. She slips hers into his automatically, trusting, and unhesitant.

"I think I can help." I say stepping forward to follow them out of the room.

Hobi shoots me a slightly puzzled stare at the vagueness but there's no unsureness in his eyes, just complete trust.

"There's some plants that could help, let's go to the garden." I say leading the way, the sound of steps following alerting me to the fact that the two are right behind me. 

And when we get to the garden, I draw her head onto my lap, Hobi sliding her legs onto his lap and squeezing gently, massaging at her calves.

She squirms but remains still when Hobi levels her a serious look, silently telling her to stay still.

I busy myself in making a small paste out of arnica flowers, knowing that it'll help both with the bruising and the pain, gently brushing it across her throat when Hobi finishes murmuring a numbing healing spell, tugging the neck of her top down to expose it to me.

I gently cover the bruising, spreading the paste evenly, knowing that the benefits of the plants will seep into her skin and help heal her internally too.

And just as Hobi's fingers are expertly massaging her tight muscles, trying to ease out the stiffness he speaks.

"I think your pain is psychologically triggered." He begins.

(Y/N) doesn't move but a flicker of red in her irises is the silent response that we get, a flicker of understanding and truth in her eyes.

"I think that meeting Chul before you healed reminded you of what he did when you last saw him. And it triggered the same pain, because when I checked you were healing- your injuries aren't aggravated whatsoever." He explains, voice soft but the anger and hurt and worry for her filters through the bond.

She peers up at me, throat bobbing as her eyes meet my own.

My hand gently keeps her top lowered from the neck, having taken the fabric from Hobi's fingers once the paste was applied.

"Is it working?" I ask.

She gives a small nod.

"Does that mean being near him will just bring me pain? That you'll stop me from going before I heal?" she asks, raising her head off my lap to peer at Hobi.

He smiles sadly giving a shake of his head.

"Never. We won't ever stop you from making your own decisions but as a healer I would advise you let yourself heal. Just so you can be at your strongest when his world comes shattering down around him." he says.

The bond flares with a raging calm.

"I'll heal. But if Yoongi oppa decides to go before that then I'll go too." She says firmly.

I nod, I could live with that. I could live with the determination of our baby mate insisting to be by Yoongi hyung's side and be his silent strength.

I guide her back down, reaching down for the small cotton weaved towel and the bowl of collected dew, gently wiping off the paste and patting the skin dry.

Already it's begun to make a difference, the bruises lightened. 

She sits up, pressing a kiss to the underside of my jaw before straightening up.

Hobi puckers his lips, widening his eyes to make a cute pouty face at her and tapping his lips, looking expectantly at her.

She giggles and moves over to press a kiss to his lips, making an exaggerated mwah sound as she fulfils his silent request.

His hands grab her to draw onto his lap, fingers dancing along the side of her waist in a tickling motion. Relentless and fierce as he tries to find her ticklish spots.

"You'll give me grey hairs baby. You don't want an old mate do you? I won't be your pretty Hobi anymore!" he protests, laughing alongside her, their giggles mingling and carrying to the air, lightening the atmosphere. I watch as she squirms and shifts trying to escape his tickling.

And when he finally relents, noting the giggly wheezes, she looks at him through shining eyes.

"I prefer older men don't you know oppa? And besides that way I'll always be your pretty baby!" she teases and exclaims, darting off his lap when our mouths drop in shock at her teasing remark. There's only the sight of her retreating figure as she heads for the stairs and that pushes us into movement.

The thrum of surprise and want courses through the bond as we set chase after her.

And even as I hear Hobi exclaim and yell at her to stop, his words floating alongside her happy laughter, I smile and wish that we're always like this.

That we always find happiness in the small things and that we always find that happiness and comfort from each other too. And I can't wait to see what other surprises (Y/N) has up her sleeve for us.

All I know is that life is only going to get brighter and more beautiful from now.

And I catch up with the two just in time to see Hobi's hands snag around her waist and lift her up, twirling her around- the sound of their giggles filling the air even as she protests.

And when he turns her to cradle her cheeks, I see the joy bursting out of them, making them radiant.

Eternity like this sounds perfect. More than that, eternity like this is a gift.

(THERE YOU GO! WE FINALLY HAVE YOONGI'S THOUGHTS! AND IT WENT FROM SAD TO HURTY TO EXTREMELY SWEET AND FLUFFY AT THE END BUT I LOVED SEEING THAT THEY FIND HAPPINESS IN JUST RUNNING AFTER EACH OTHER! AND NORMALLY HOBI ADVOCATES NO RUNNING ON STAIRS BUT WHEN SHE JUST TEASED HIM, HE HAD TO RUN AFTER HER!! AND AHHH! THE 94 LINE HAVING A CHAT ON THE ROOFTOP GARDEN WITH A BABY MATE SPRAWLED ON THEM IS JUST LIFE TO THEM, THAT'S ALL THEY NEED! AND MAYBE NEXT CHAPTER WE'LL GET THAT YOONGI AND CHUL INTERACTION! AND I HOPE YOU COULD SEE AND UNDERSTAND HIS EMOTIONS AS WHY THEY MADE SENSE THAT IT WAS CONFUSING AND DISORIENTING TO HIM! LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS MY LOVES AND STAY SAFE AND TAKE CARE TOO!)

Words can hurt, words can strike, words can tear us apart. But words also have the power to soothe, to heal, to nurture and to help us grow. So never forget the effect they can have. Words have the power to bring about change, they can be a weapon used negatively just as easily as they can be positive. So use them well.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3