"Good morning, Mrs. Moberly. Would you like a cup of coffee?" Ruby asked the following morning, taking in my exhausted appearance.

I nodded, taking a seat at the breakfast table by James who, by the looks of him, was nursing a pretty bad hangover. He held his pale face in his hands, groaning audibly when Ruby clattered a dish or scraped a pan too loudly. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear she was doing it on purpose based on the smirk she tried to hide.

I took the coffee cup graciously from Ruby's hands, slurping the dark liquid and allow the warmth to flow through me. I'd laid awake all night, contemplating what had happened between Ruby and James. I wasn't jealous- I knew that Ruby loathed him even more than I did. Which is why I couldn't fathom why she'd sleep with him. Unless...

My stomach threatened to expel my coffee when I realized there was only one reason Ruby would have sex with James. She said she would fix the issue, that she would find a way to keep me here, and there was only one way to do this- James wanted a child, and Ruby was going to provide him with one. I tried to catch Ruby's eye, but she kept her eyes trained on the ground. I clenched my fists so tightly around my coffee cup, worried I might break the ceramic if I gripped any tighter.

James gathered his coat and scarf, and begrudgingly made his way toward work. The moment the front door had closed, I turned to look at Ruby.

"So, would you like to explain what you were doing in my husband's bedroom last night?" I asked, my voice sharper than I intended.

Ruby shrugged, suddenly immersed in cutting a watermelon into bite-sized pieces. "I told you I wouldn't let you get shipped away to the Factories, that I would do whatever it took to protect you."

My resolve softened. "Don't you think that's a bit... drastic?" I asked.

"No more drastic than your husband threatening to send you away for not having his child," she said. "I know you're upset I didn't talk to you first, Mia, but I knew you'd try and talk me out of it."

"You're damn right I would!" I said, getting to my feet. "Do you have any idea what you just did? If the Guardians find out, they'll hang you for adultery."

"Only if they find out. And who's going to tell them? Certainly not you or me. The only other person who might know is Mr. Moberly, and he was so drunk he didn't even notice it wasn't his wife she was sleeping with," she scoffed.

Ruby set the knife down on the cutting board and looked up at me. "I know exactly what I did. I kept you safe, just like I promised. No matter the cost. In my eyes, your wellbeing is worth sleeping with that abusive asshole if it keeps you here with me," she said, placing her hand on my waist and pulling me toward her. "I will not apologize for that, Mia."

I leaned my forehead against hers. "I wouldn't expect you to. If the roles were reversed, I'd have done the same. That doesn't make it any easier, though."

"I know," she murmured. "But what other choice did we have? The doctor told you it would be nearly impossible for you to carry a child, and James was very clear that this is a requirement for you to stay here. How could I let him send you away when I had a perfectly good uterus going to waste," she joked, but I couldn't muster a laugh. With a sigh, she continued, "I know it's a bit extreme, but it's better than the alternative."

In theory, this was an ideal solution, a masterfully hatched ploy on Ruby's part to way to try to keep me here. She'd birthed three children in two years- there was no denying that she was fertile and could carry a child to term. But I couldn't let her take that chance. What sort of person would I be if I let her have a child to save my own skin?

"Promise me that you won't do it again if things didn't work this time," I said. Ruby opened her mouth to interrupt, but I silenced her by putting my finger on her lips. "Please, Ruby. I can't bear the thought of what he might do if he realizes you've tricked him into sleeping with you. It's just not worth it."

Ruby bit her lip as though torn, staring into my tear-filled eyes. "Okay," she said. "If it's that important to you, I won't do it again."

"Okay," I said, pulling away to look at her.

I wasn't sure if I would rather she not be pregnant and not have to carry the child of the man who'd treated us both so cruelly, or if I longed for her to be pregnant so we could stay together a little longer. It was a double-edged sword, and no matter which way I swung it, I was going to get stabbed.

***************

It had been two weeks since Ruby had slept with James, and being true to her word, she hadn't done it again. As Thanksgiving approached, I couldn't help but think of the things I was grateful for- my parents and the sacrifices they'd made for me to grow up knowing a world of love and equality, Charlotte and the years of memories we'd made together before her death, Ruby and our relationship that was my safe harbor in the turbulent seas of my marriage. Things had changed so much since my Awakening Ceremony nearly a year ago- some for the worse, some for the better, but all different nonetheless.

Ruby had worked all day on making a delicious ham dinner with all of the sides. Despite the fact that it was a holiday, James had gone to the office and had still not arrived when the food was finished, so Ruby and I gorged ourselves on mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and rolls, enjoying each other's company. It was one of my favorite memories with her, a stolen moment where we could have dinner together and pretend like we were a normal couple, instead of walking on eggshells, constantly looking over our shoulders, waiting for James to appear.

At night, when James had drunken himself into an unconscious stupor, Ruby would sneak to my bedroom so we could hold one another until we fell asleep. More nights than not, we didn't sleep. Nightmares plagued Ruby from her time in the Factories, so she put off sleep as often as she could. For me, I didn't want to waste a minute of the short time I had left with her.

Though we never said so aloud, we both sensed that our time together was coming to a close. My doctor's appointment was only a few days away, and after that, James would be rid of me for good. I wondered idly if I would ever see Ruby again, but I suspected that was unlikely. My heart ached at the idea of gaining a love like ours, just for it to be ripped from our grasps this way. It was a cruel the games the universe seemed to play.

When we were lying in bed after our Thanksgiving feast, Ruby turned to look at me. "I have some good news," she said, a small twinge melancholy and joy in her eye. "I think I'm pregnant."

I stared at her with wide eyes. "Are... are you sure? You haven't been to the doctor."

She shrugged. "I just know. I know it's early, but after having three children, you can feel it. My breasts are tender and I've been nauseous all day, every day. And I've been craving pickles, just like I did with Isaac and the twins," she laughed.

I smiled at her- she was positively glowing. I may not have been made to be a mother, but Ruby was. I relished in it, and I had no doubt that she'd provide James with a beautiful child.

It was a bittersweet moment. I was happy because Ruby was happy, and because now I might get to stay with her for a little longer. But there was a sadness in her eyes that I suspected were also in mine. How unfair was it to bring an innocent child into this home, to force them to have James as a father.

I placed my hand gently on her abdomen, marveling at the little life that was growing there. "We need to take you to the doctor."

"No," Ruby said, shaking her head. "If I'm seen going to the clinic, that would raise suspicion. No one else can know but us, Mia. It's important you keep this to yourself."

"I won't tell anyone," I promised, "but it's important to make sure the baby is okay, and doctors are bound by patient confidentiality. They can't discuss your medical records with anyone, even your employer."

Ruby let out a humorless laugh. "You're fooling yourself if you think that applies to me, Mia. No Name women aren't seen as human. We are dispensable, especially in a world where men rule. If you think any doctor in Grayson wouldn't jump at the chance to gain favor with a powerful man like James by telling all your dirty little secrets, you are delusional." She shook her head. "No, I'll just have to carry the child to term and hope for the best."

"Besides," Ruby said, brushing my hair behind my ear, "I may be growing a life, but you have the difficult task."

I furrowed my brows. "What's that?"

"You have to convince a doctor to lie and say it's you that's pregnant."

My heart sank at the idea. A difficult task, indeed.

***************

"Good luck," Ruby said, bringing me in for a hug.

I gave a small smile before walking into the cold December morning, making my way toward Dr. Winthrop's office for my appointment.

I was more anxious for this appointment than all of the others combined. The results of the pregnancy tests were no secret; if I was not pregnant, James would know by the morning. What would happen then? I would be shipped off and Ruby would be left in that house to deal with James and raise his child alone. Who's to say she wouldn't be joining me when he finds out what she'd done.

It started snowing on my walk, the small, crystal flakes sticking to my hair and my wool coat. While others grumbled about winter and having to walk to work in the cold, I'd always loved the snow. Winter was my favorite time of year, the season where I felt most at peace. I hoped the snowflakes were a positive sign for things to come, though I still had no idea how to convince a doctor to lie for me.

By the time I was called back for my exam, I was on pins and needles. My body was trembling with fear as I laid back in the examination table and Dr. Winthrop entered the room.

"Good morning, Mrs. Moberly. How are we feeling today?" the bubbly man said, leaning forward to check my vital signs.

"Good," I muttered. "Nervous. I'm hoping for good news. I need to have good news this time."

"Understandable," he said with a small smile. "You and your husband have been patient for long enough."

"Yes," I said, swallowing hard. "James has let his disapproval with my infertility be known. I worry our marriage will not persevere without a child in the near future."

"Mrs. Moberly!" Margaret said, leaning forward to slap my face. "You know better than to share your marital woes with others. Shame on you."

"You're right, Sister Margaret," I mumbled, dabbing at my busted lip and pulling away blood. "I'm sorry."

Dr. Winthrop gave me an apologetic smile and handed me a wet wipe. I could see the compassion in his eyes, the way he felt sorry for me.

"Let's get you examined, Mrs. Moberly," he said, gesturing for me to lean back.

I did as he instructed, staring at the ceiling as he turned on his monitor, praying to whatever deity was listening that Dr. Winthrop would somehow, some way, subconsciously hear my pleas. If only Sister Margaret wasn't in the room, perhaps I could be up front with him about my situation. Instead, I would have to hope he could put the pieces together.

I watched the monitor as Dr. Winthrop moved the Doppler around, searching for signs of life. His back was to Sister Margaret, so she couldn't see the way his face fell, how his shoulders slumped forward the moment he realized that, once again, there was no baby.

He turned to look at me, ready to break the news, but before he could say anything, I mouthed please. He paused, seemingly torn as the tears pooled in my eyes, flowing down my cheeks. Please, help me, I mouthed again.

He closes his eyes and lets out a deep sigh. "Congratulations, Mrs. Moberly. You're pregnant," he said. I knew that he was lying, yet I still felt my heart sink into my stomach when he uttered those ominous words.

Margaret let out a cry of joy and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I knew God would bring you a child when the timing was right. The Lord has blessed you, Mrs. Moberly. You must go tell your husband at once."

"Yes, you must tell your husband at once," Dr. Winthrop said with a tight smile. "Sister Margaret, can you ask the nurse to call in the next patient while I walk Mrs. Moberly out?"

Sister Margaret willingly complied, still overjoyed that I'd overcome the odds of my infertility.

"Do you have children, Dr. Winthrop?" I asked as he walked me to the exit.

"A girl. She'll be sixteen next summer," he said. "You remind me of her a little."

His forehead creased, and I knew where his mind was. She would be in her own Awakening Ceremony in a few years, could end up being paired with a man like James. I had no doubt that he had been thinking of her when he made the decision to lie for me.

"Thank you," I muttered, hesitating at the clinic door. "You may not realize it, but you just saved my life."

Dr. Winthrop removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I've done all I can do for you, Mia. The rest, I'm sorry to say, will be up to you."

I nodded, not telling him that a plan was already in motion. As selfish as it was, I left the clinic smiling, praying that Ruby really was pregnant with James' child. My very life could be depending on it.