As the weeks passed, it became less likely that James would be imprisoned for his heinous infraction. I soon realized that James was either too resourceful or too powerful to have to pay for his crimes. The idea made me tremble. He could take a man's life and no one would do anything about it. How easily he could make me disappear, too.

I spent the majority of my days staring at the walls of my bedroom, contemplating how wrong the setting looked. Could it have been only a couple of months ago that I was still a young girl living in my parents' house, free to come and go as I pleased, reading my novels in secret? It felt like a lifetime ago. Now I cowered in my quarters, afraid to say the wrong thing for fear of the retributions I might receive. Or, worse, the pain that my actions might inflict on others. James may have been the one to pull the trigger, but I was the one responsible for Caleb's death.

Mid-afternoon, a gentle rasping reverberated on the bedroom door. I didn't respond or make any indication that I'd heard the knock- the last thing I wanted was company. Despite my lack of response, my visitor turned the knob, the soft whine of the hinges resounding as they opened the bedroom door. I didn't bother turning to see who it was, keeping my back to the door as I lay across my bed.

"You don't have to pretend to be asleep. It's just me," Ruby said, closing the door behind her.

When I didn't respond, she drew open the balcony curtains and allowed the bright, midday sun to stream into the room. I shielded my eyes and let out a groan of protest.

"I brought you food since you didn't eat breakfast. Again," she said, setting a plate on my bedside table.

"I'm not hungry," I mumbled, my stomach betraying me with a loud grumble when I smelled the ham sandwich.

"That's what you've been saying for a week now." Ruby let out a sigh and sat on the edge of my bed. "I understand that you're upset, Mia, but you can't hide up here forever. Caleb wouldn't want you to mope like this."

"How would you know?" I spit. "It's not like Caleb can tell us that himself. Or did you not notice that he was murdered a few days ago?"

Her lips pursed into a taunt line and her emerald eyes filled with tears. "Of course I noticed. Who do you think scrubbed his blood off of the floor all night?"

My stomach lurched with remorse. I'd felt responsible for Caleb's death for days, and now I was taking my guilty conscious out on Ruby. It wasn't fair.

"Eat," she said, her voice hard. "I can't stand watching you wither away like this."

It was true that the guilt had weighed on me. I'd been unable to stomach food for days now, and my slight body had lost the little fat it previously had. My ribs were more prominent, my cheeks more sallow. Ruby's worried eyes bothered me until I took a bite of my lunch, just to appease her.

"I'm sorry, Ruby," I said, sitting up. "I didn't mean what I said. I know that Caleb was your friend."

"Yes, he was," Ruby said, dabbing the corner of her eye. "Which is why I know that he would never blame you for what happened. His death was not your fault."

"It sure felt that way," I mumbled.

Ruby shook her head. "No, Mia. Caleb's death falls on Mr. Moberly, and no one else. I know that you lied about the affair," she said, averting her gaze, "but you must have had a good reason to do so. I know you well enough to know that you would never maliciously spread untruths, knowing it would hurt another person, unless you had no other choice."

I hesitated. Ruby was trying to make me feel better, but I wasn't sure I deserved to. Not when Caleb was buried in the ground somewhere, never to return to his wife and children again. The thought of his family waiting futilely for him to walk through their door brought on a fresh wave of tears.

"No matter my intentions, what I did isn't okay."

Ruby wiped a tear from my cheek. Her face was torn, unsure how she could help ease my penitence. She bit her lip nervously, and then let out a small sigh of resolution.

"Come with me," she said. "I think I have something that will make you feel better."

***************

After a lot of convincing, I begrudgingly crawled out of bed and followed Ruby down the third floor hallway and downstairs to the level below. We walked down the quiet corridor to an area of the manor I had yet to explore, taking turn after turn until I worried I'd never find my way back to my room.

"Where are we going?" I asked, my voice coming out like a complaint. No matter how many times I asked, Ruby wouldn't tell me where she was leading us. She simply smiled and continued forwarding, acting as if she hadn't heard my question.

Finally, Ruby stopped on the second floor landing, standing before a small door hidden in the shadows next to the laundry shoot. She beamed at me

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"Ready for what, Ruby?" I snapped, feeling slightly exasperated. I was too tired for mind games.

Ruby produced a key from the folds of her apron, forced the brass teeth into the keyhole, and wiggled it around until a loud click resonated through the quiet house. She looked up and down the hallway, checking to make sure that we were alone, before turning the knob. The door opened with a loud groan, indicating this particular room wasn't used often.

Inside was a library so massive and assorted, it would put my father's small collection to shame. Mahogany shelves were stacked on top of one another from floor to ceiling, housing hundreds of novels. The library was several stories high, filling the inside of the towering turret I'd seen on our drive home that first day. Books stared back at me from every corner of the circular room, begging to be read. High overhead, a glass ceiling allowed the sun to shine into the room, brightening it and making it feel cheery.

I gaped at the library and spun in slow circles, awed by this magical place that I didn't know existed. To think this was in my new home all along and I had no idea baffled me. I walked leisurely through the room, running my hands along the spines of the books, feeling a slight sense of normalcy at the feel of the leather beneath my fingers.

"This is Mr. Moberly's personal library," Ruby explained. "He doesn't visit this room often, only on the rare occasions when he conducts business from home. I'm not sure if there's anything here you will like. I never learned to read so the books are mostly intimidating to me," Ruby said, embarrassment coloring her cheeks. "But when you told me that you missed reading, I hoped Mr. Moberly's library might help."

"It does, Ruby. More than you will ever know." I sat on a leather ottoman in the center of the room, still taken aback. "Thank you," I breathed.

I knew how much of a risk Ruby was taking to show me this. She could get in trouble with James for letting me in here, could be sent back to the Factories for encouraging my love of reading. The fact that she would take that chance just to make me feel better made my heart swell.

I picked up a book titled "The Iliad," and stroked it's thick, weathered cover, feeling a sense of comfort in the feel of the silky pages slipping between my fingers.

"If I might make a suggestion, Mia," Ruby said, taking a step forward and wringing her hands nervously. "Be very careful if you decide to read one of these books. Use discretion, and return it to the room just how you found it. I suspect Mr. Moberly wouldn't like it very much if he learned that you could read."

Of course James wouldn't like it- it would make him feel threatened. Women with even an ounce of academic knowledge or schooling usually became a pariah in Grayson. Many were sentenced to a life as a No Name woman, or mysteriously disappeared shortly after their Awakening Ceremony, all of their knowledge and potential wasted. It was too commonplace to be a coincidence. It's why my parents insisted I keep it quiet when they taught me to read. They feared no man would pick me as a wife if they knew, or worse yet, what could happen to me if they did.

"Don't worry. I won't tell James," I told Ruby. "It will be our secret."

I gave Ruby playful smile, but it quickly faded. The gesture felt wrong. How could I be so happy and crack jokes when Caleb's body was barely cold? It didn't seem fair that I could just move on with my life when he would never get that chance.

Ruby stepped into the room. "Still thinking about Caleb?" she guessed.

I nodded. "I'm not sure I will ever not be thinking about it," I admitted. "Before yesterday, James's behavior was a mere annoyance. Whatever pain he inflicted on me, I could handle it because I knew I was expected to," I said, running my hands anxiously through my hair. "But it's not okay that he can kill anyone he thinks is in his way and get away with it. He feels dangerous now, Ruby. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up."

"You have to," she said, sitting on the ottoman beside me. "The alternative is becoming a No Name woman, and I can't let that happen to you."

I scoffed. "Why should you care what happens to me?"

"Because we're friends," she mumbled, her forehead creased. I could see the hurt in her eyes.

"It's risky being my friend, Ruby. Caleb is proof of that."

Ruby sighed. "I know that you are hurting, Mia. I am too. Caleb was the only friendly face I had in this home for many years. But we can't shut down because he's gone. I know his loss is painful, but we can get through this. Together."

"You don't get it, do you?" I muttered, getting to my feet. "James will get rid of anyone in my life who makes me happy. Unless you want to end up back in the Factories or dead like Caleb, you have to stay away from me!"

Ruby's eyes widened at the notion. She was quiet for a long moment, her eyebrows furrowed as if contemplating my words.

Good, I thought. Leave me alone while you are able to. It's for the best. Still, my heart ached at the idea of losing the only friend that I had left in this house.

With a sigh, Ruby got to her feet and walked toward me until we were only a few inches apart, close enough that I could see her faint freckles and way one of her two front teeth curved slightly inward. I stared into her emerald green eyes, watching as they filled with tears.

"No," Ruby said. "I won't leave you. I know the dangers involved, but I refuse to stay away from you, Mia. I-I can't."

"You can't?" I whispered.

She shook her head. "After Caleb's death, I thought long and hard about our friendship and the risks involved, and I've come to the conclusion that... it's worth it. I know that I should be afraid of James and the punishment he might inflict on me if he finds out I have become your friend. But the only thing I'm afraid of is losing you."

Ruby's scarred hand trembled as she intertwined it within mine. Her touch made my stomach dance with anxious butterflies. I knew I should pull away, to end this now before we both wound up dead. But I couldn't pry my hand away if I tried.

"You shouldn't think that way," I murmured. "Being around me is bad luck. James might kill you next!" My voice raised to a yell at the idea of Ruby's dead body being the next to fall on the entryway floor. "You need to leave me alone while you can."

"No," Ruby said, squaring her shoulders stubbornly.

My cheeks blazed with anger. "Would you stop being so obstinate?! You need to listen to me...."

"No, Mia! You need to listen to me!" Ruby snapped. I froze at the unexpected authority in her voice. "I'm not going anywhere. I know that Mr. Moberly might kill me, but I don't care! Not if losing you is the alternative. What does it matter if I'm alive if I'm miserable?" she said. "Before I met you, I was dead inside, anyway. I won't go back to that feeling. You've stirred something inside of me that was long ago repressed. For the first time in years, I feel whole."

I gave my hand one final, half-hearted pull, trying to loosen her grip, but finally accepting defeat. In response, Ruby tugged on my arm, pulling me toward her, closing the distance between us. She reached up with her free hand and lifted my chin so we were staring into each other's eyes.

"I don't care what dangers might await for me on the other side of this journey," she whispered, her hot breath falling on my face and sending tingles down my spine. "It will be worth it as long as I have you by my side."

Ruby's eyes narrowed in contemplation as though torn. Then, with a "to hell with it all" shrug, she leaned forward, her mouth slightly open as she brought her face toward mine. My heart thumped in my chest as I realized what was about to happen. I knew I should reject her, that I should tell her what we were doing was wrong and we needed to forget what we felt for one another, but I couldn't say the words aloud. Because the truth was that I wanted Ruby in my life. I needed her, just like she needed me.

When Ruby's full, coral lips touched mine, I subconsciously stiffened, knowing that this wasn't allowed. A small part of my mind wanted to stop this madness, I was a married woman for God's sake, and homosexuality was a sin. But a bigger, more dominant part told my rational side to shut up and give in.

Heat flooded through my extremities, burning my body, scorching my skin, bringing my nerves alive for the first time in my life. Despite my conflicting emotions, I didn't pull away. Instead, I gave in to the urge raging through my body that screamed that this was good, that this was natural, that this was right. For the first time since the Awakening happened, perhaps the first time since I had been born, I felt joyous butterflies dancing in my heart.

My shoulders relaxed, and before I knew it, I was kissing her back, deepening the kiss until we are lost in a full embrace. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced, an act full of passion, full of love. I never wanted it to end. When Ruby finally pulled away, I was left wanting more.

She gave a bashful smile and looked toward the ground, a blush in her cheeks. I lifted her chin until she was looking at me, then I placed my free hand on her waist, pulling myself to her until our bodies touched. Then I pressed my lips to hers once more.

In that moment, I felt all of the things I'd been missing in my relationship with James. Trust, desire, a pleasant ache deep within my heart, a yearning to be by Ruby's side for now and for always. Despite the years of sermons and lectures telling me that this was immoral, despite the fact that this interaction could be punishable by death, I no longer cared. There was no denying that I was falling in love with the No Name woman, and I wasn't sorry for it.  

Thank you for reading! What do you think about Mia and Ruby's growing relationship? Is it worth the risk? And what about Charlotte's suggestion that they leave Grayson? If you were in Mia's position, would you go or stay? Let me know what you think! And, as always, if you are enjoying "Bound" so far, don't forget to vote! :)