If reincarnation were real, I would want to come back as a horse, a creature as powerful, and free as Pearl. Then maybe I would be able to stand up for myself against vile, spiteful people like James. No one would hurt me again, would never be able to tame me or try to mold me to fit their expectations because I would be the one in control.

That was the notion running through my mind as I laid in bed, staring through my balcony doors at the early dawn, trying and failing to get back to sleep. The numbing effects of the herbal bath had faded, and with it, my temporary pain relief. The marks on my body were excruciating, as was the idea of being bound to the monster who caused them. I'd never feared for my life before but during the beating, seeing the rage on James' drunken face, my impending death was all I could think about.

I allowed my fingers to caress the tender skin on my backside where sixteen large welts had formed. The wounds were swollen, heat radiating from my backside like the sun off the blacktop on a sultry summer day. The injury was painful, but not as much as it would have been without the healing bath. If not for Ruby's kind words and soothing medicine, I wasn't sure I would have fared as well as I did- mentally or physically. I owed her a great deal of gratitude.

Ruby... I mouthed the name over and over as though it were my saving mantra in my time of utter horror. My skin still smelled like flowers and aloe from my bath, and the aroma made me smile, despite the pain radiating from my backside.

A part of me was embarrassed by my behavior the previous night. I shouldn't have allowed my emotions to get the best of me, shouldn't have propelled my anger and pain onto Ruby. If the Guardians found out the things I said about James, I could be in big trouble. But I knew Ruby wouldn't tell.

Somehow, I knew we had an unspoken connection now, brought together by our mutual pain at James' hand. Her fear of talking to me seemed to be gone, the floodgates lifted, for which I was grateful. She had seen me at my most vulnerable moment, had risked punishment from James to console me and ease my pain. I would never be able to repay her for that. I knew that I could trust her.

Ruby brought breakfast to my room that morning after James left for work, though I wasn't really hungry.

"You need to eat so your body can heal itself," she said, sitting at the foot of my bed.

Rather than argue, I forced down a few bites of my cheese omelet to appease her. The meal was delicious and as the warm strings of mozzarella, cheddar, and asiago filled my mouth, I realized just how famished I was. Ruby repressed a smirk as I scoffed down the meal, washing it down with a warm cup of coffee.

When I finished my breakfast, Ruby helped me to my feet. My wounds had scabbed overnight, making it impossible to do so. My bloodied backside was so stiff, I couldn't bend without risking reopening the wound. Every time I moved too quickly, I ripped pieces of the scab off and the bleeding started anew.

Ruby drew another bath of lavender, chamomile, and aloe and helped me into the porcelain basin. I lounged in the tub for several minutes, sighing as the warm water brought sweet relief to my painful backside.

Ruby bandaged my wounds and helped ease a burgundy shift dress over my shoulders. As she ran the bristles of a brush through my dark locks, I closed my eyes and allowed her gentle fingers against my scalp to relax me. The sensation reminded me of Sunday mornings at home when my mother would fix my hair for church.

After my hair was braided, Ruby guided me slowly downstairs and into the solarium before putting on a kettle for tea. Through the crystal clear windows, I had a front row view of the grounds beyond the house. I could make out Pearl in the distance, grazing happily in the meadow as the sun shined brightly on her white fur.

"You miss her, don't you?" Ruby asked as she handed me a teacup.

I nodded. "Very much."

I longed to ride her, but knew it would be a while before I was healed enough for that feat.

"The only time you've smiled since coming here has been when you're with Pearl. I watch you sometimes from the kitchen window when I'm making dinner, wondering if I could ever find happiness like that," she said solemnly.

I gripped my teacup in my hands, allowing the warmth to flood through me. "She's been a great comfort to me since I've arrived. One of the only things that have made me happy here," I admitted. "When I ride her, I feel like I'm back in the worry-free days of childhood, just hanging out with my parents and my friend Charlotte, or reading a new novel in my bedroom," I said, glancing at her cautiously.

I suspected I could trust Ruby, but it was still a risk letting her know the secret I'd hidden for so long. If she said the wrong thing to the wrong person, the Guardians would learn about my ability to read and then I'd really be in trouble. But I felt like I could trust Ruby, that even though she barely knew me, she would never betray me.

Ruby eyed me for a moment and my heart accelerated- what if I was wrong? Finally, she said, "That sounds like a good life," and furrowed her brow.

As I suspected, she didn't comment on the fact that I could read. For that I was grateful. It meant I could confide in her in ways I couldn't with anyone else in my new life.

"I was happy too, once upon a time," she said quietly, taking a sip of her tea. "Before I was forced into a life of servitude. But that was many years ago- before the years in the Factories, before coming to stay with Mr. Moberly. It was a relief, I'll admit, upgrading to a life of indentured servitude," she said. "Mr. Moberly has never very kind to me, but it's safer for women like me in the household. And Caleb and his family have always been good to me, so it hasn't been all bad."

"Caleb? The groundskeeper?"

She gave a small smile. "Yes. He's the only real friend I think I've ever had. When I first started working for Mr. Moberly, Caleb would check on me regularly to make sure I was doing okay. When his wife heard that I'd come from the Factories, she sent over baked treats to make me feel welcome," she said. "They're good people. Not like most in our world."

I was quiet for a moment, taking in her words. I had heard the rumors about the Factories and the things that they did to women there, but I had never met someone who had experienced it firsthand. I knew Ruby would tell me the cold, honest truth, no matter how horrible it might be.

"Ruby," I said, my voice small. "What's it like living in the Factories?"

Ruby stared into the distance, her eyes going dark. The color drained from her ivory skin and she gave a small shiver.

"I shouldn't have asked," I said, sensing her fear. "I'm sorry-"

"It's like hell on Earth," she interrupted, her eyes in some faraway place. "Most of the women sent to the Factories only make it a few months before their grave is being dug. How I survived there for two years is beyond me."

She took a deep breath to steady the trembling in her hands.

"Many of the women are used for manual labor," she said. "Women like me are the backbone of Grayson. The cemeteries you pass- those graves were dug by No Name women. The farms where your food is grown- those fields are manned by No Name woman's hands. We work tirelessly day in and day out to ensure the elite have better lives."

"What was your job?" I pressed, imagining her picking fruit in an orchard or digging into the earth with a shovel.

"I was assigned a metal pressing job," she said. "We made everyday household items- eyeglass frames, cooking pots, doorknobs, even coins. The hours were long and the presses were so hot, they'd burn your skin at the touch. The equipment was scorching, but we had no gloves to shield the hot metal from our bodies. To this day I don't have feeling in my fingers," she said, showing me her hands that were calloused and covered with burn marks. "Many women fainted from the heat within the first hour of their shift. Still, no compassion was shown. I was lucky, though," she admitted. "The metal presses were miserable, but they were one of the easier positions to endure in the Factories.

"But that isn't the worst of it," she continued, her voice turning grave. "Manual labor is one thing- we could handle that much. But there is one area of the Factories that is haunted, where the women who are assigned never leave the way they came in," she said. "Those women are experimented on, used as living cadavers for doctors to practice on or treated like lab rats to test new vaccines.

"The No Name women are injected with viruses and afflictions, plagued with contagions and cancers. Sometimes they're treated, and sometimes they are left to die, all for the sake of science.

"I remember the lifeless faces of the women who were assigned to that building, how when- and if- they returned, their skin was covered with lesions, or their body missing limbs, or withering away- mind, body, and soul- until they are nothing but skin or bones, just shells of the women they once were." A tremor went through her body as she remembered these haunted women.

My stomach gave an anxious lurch. What I had endured was nothing compared to the experiences of the No Name women.

"Ruby," I breathed, "I'm so sorry."

Without thinking, I placed my hand on hers comfort her. It was an involuntary gesture, a means of offering comfort to someone I now considered a friend. But Ruby jerked away as though my touch burned her skin, leaping to her feet and looking around the house with wide, crazed eyes.

"Please... don't," she said with fear-filled eyes. "I can't risk drawing attention to myself. I won't go back to the Factories. I won't!" She stomped the ground aggressively. "I might not be so lucky next time."

"I didn't... This wasn't... It was nothing..." I stuttered, thrown by her reaction.

"Nothing to you, perhaps. But what if Mr. Moberly were to see? You would get another beating and I would be shipped back to labor in the Factories, if I wasn't executed first. I can't take that chance." She shook her head, and with a deep sigh, started to walk away.

"Wait!" I cried desperately. The idea of losing the one friend I had in Moberly Manor terrified me, and I moved after her so quickly that my scabs tore. I groaned and Ruby came to my side, gesturing for me to sit back.

"I'm sorry, Ruby," I said, biting back tears at the pain. "It won't happen again. Please don't leave me here alone! You're the only friend I have left."

"Friend?" she repeated, as though the word were foreign. "I'm not your friend, Mia. I'm your servant, Mia."

"Well, yes, technically," I said, blushing. "But that's not how I see you. You've been the only kind face I've seen since I've been married. In a way, you're my Caleb."

This made her smile. It was the first time I'd seen her look even remotely happy since I'd arrived in Moberly Manor. The pearly white grin contrasted her auburn hair perfectly, and the way her cheeks dimpled made her far more beautiful than she already was.

"I'm your Caleb," she said, thinking the word over. "I like the sound of that."

And like that, we had formed a bittersweet friendship, one based on repression and survival, but a friendship none-the-less. Ruby had finally opened up, an invisible barrier that had divided us having been broken by the gruesomeness of the previous night. At least one good thing had come from James' thrashing- after weeks of being cooped up in the house together, I finally felt like I had someone on my side. It felt nice to know that I wasn't alone in this after all.

***************

Ruby and I talked the better part of the afternoon. I told her about my parents and my childhood, my close friendship with Charlotte, and the piles of books that littered my father's study.

Ruby told me about growing up the child of a doctor and how she'd longed to follow in her father's footsteps, until she became old enough to understand that only men could be doctors in Grayson. She accepted her fate as a housewife and went to her Awakening Ceremony willingly, hoping for a husband who may allow her some freedom, same as me.

Unfortunately, Ruby's husband had been even more restrictive than James was. She was confined to her house at all times, even after the housework had been completed. On her monthly doctor's appointments, he would go with her, not trusting her to go alone. She did everything he asked, and still it wasn't enough because he chose to send her to the Factories to become a No Name woman.

"When the Guardians came, they had to sedate me before I would comply," she admitted. "I didn't care about life in the Factories. Don't get me wrong, it was pure misery, but I didn't want to leave my children behind."

"Children?" I said, my heart dropping. She nodded solemnly, tears pooling in her eyes. Poor Ruby. She wasn't the first woman forced to leave her children behind for a life of servitude, but that didn't make it right.

"Tell me about them," I urged gently.

It was quiet for a while as Ruby picked at a string on her apron, contemplating the request.

"I, too, was married to a less than ideal husband. I tried to please him, but clearly I failed." She gave a humorless snort. "I bore him three children in less than two years, and this still didn't please him. He tired of me rather quickly after the children were born and moved on to sleeping with prostitutes, before finally turning me over to the Guardians."

She looked out onto the expanse of the yard, as though lost in her memories

"Isaac was my first-born," she said with a watery smile. "I was still a child myself when I had him. The first doctor's appointment after my binding, I was already pregnant. Within a year of my Awakening Ceremony, I was a wife and the mother of a three month old baby.

"Those were the early days in my marriage, back when I still had hope that I could be happiness in my new life. The way Henry stared into our son's face with such pride and reverence filled me with contentment. It made all of his cruelty disappear, if only for a little while.

"Isaac was my child through and through, with the same auburn hair and light eyes, his demeanor reminding me so much of myself as a young girl. I didn't have the ability to follow my dreams, but my son would. He could achieve all of the goals he desired, and I would be there, cheering him on. My life would be full as long as I was there to see him succeed.

"As time went on, the honeymoon phase ended, and the bliss that came from being a newborn mother faded away. I still loved my child, but my husband grew increasingly more indifferent as time went on. His cruelty amplified, but I bore that cross without complaint. In my mind, it didn't matter how harsh my husband was or how far he strayed from home. Isaac became my saving grace during those dark days. As long as I had my child, I would be fine.

"The twins came a year later. They were a pleasant surprise," she smiled. "But I barely got to know Emma and Noah before they were snatched from me. They were still nursing them when Henry decided he didn't want me anymore. Only a few months after their birth, I was taken to the Factories," she said, wiping a single tear from her eye.

"I see them in town sometimes when I run errands for Mr. Moberly. Isaac is a curious young child now, and Emma and Noah clumsy toddlers." She gave a sad smile. "I always keep my distance, of course, watching from afar. I don't think they would recognize me if they saw me- they were so young when I left- but I don't want to take the chance of making their lives harder than they already are.

"It breaks my heart to watch them growing up so fast, to accept that they won't even remember their mother who loved them so much it hurt. All they will know is that I wasn't worthy of being a wife, that I was a disgrace to their family and was sent away so I couldn't corrupt them. And that's the worst punishment I'll ever had to endure."

***************

Ruby's tears were flowing freely now, a heartbroken mother mourning the loss of her children. Her story hurt my soul because it was the same for many women in Grayson. And it could easily become my story, if I didn't play my cards right.

I wanted to hug Ruby, to console her and offer some words of comfort to ease her pain. But I wasn't sure how to do so without making things worse. How did you tell someone it would be okay when you didn't know it would be? Instead, I kept quiet, the silence weighing heavy in the air. There were no words that could help take away her pain or undo the actions that made her a No Name woman.

We sat in silence a little while longer until Ruby excused herself to begin dinner, though I had a sneaking suspicion she needed a moment to herself. I offered to help anyway, but Ruby declined, worried about what would happen if James came home early and found us together. I doubted James would take kindly to our budding friendship.

Though it was intimidating to think of how my husband would react to my befriending his servant, I felt my newly formed bond with Ruby was worth the risk. Even the painful reminder I felt every time I shifted in my seat couldn't change the fact that I'd finally found someone to confide in, a friend to make my life in Moberly Manor a little less miserable. I sensed Ruby felt the same sense of comfort being able to open up about her failed marriage, life as a No Name, and the children she missed and worried about.

As I stared out onto the courtyard where the daylight was beginning to fade behind the mountains in the distance, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. A fire burned deep in the pit of my belly at the prospect of being caught conversing with Ruby. It was a satisfying form of defiance against my husband, a small way of holding on to the person I once was and challenge him at the same time.

I smiled at the idea. James could take away my family, he could take away my freedoms, but he couldn't stop the bond I was forming with Ruby. As Ruby had promised, she'd taken my pain away- in more ways than one. I would die before I would let James take the No Name woman's friendship away from me.  

Thank you for reading! What do you think about Ruby and her revelations? And what about the budding relationship forming between her and Mia? Let me know what you think! And, as always, if you are enjoying "Bound" so far, don't forget to vote! :)