"Every fight needs mending...

Every start has an end...

Like the sunrise and the sunset...

That's just how it is.." - Borrowed Time by Cueshé

Brenda's POV

"WHY don't you guys listen to me for once?!" Everything is swirling like I was inside a kaleidoscope. It's like there's no light even if the ceiling lights are on. I feel like throwing up as I catch my breath. Tears flowing like rivers and eyes looked like they would burst any minute by now.

"You're just making things— I am not!" Cutting her sentence feels like punching my own sandcastle walls that I built for them for years and years.

"Young lady, you are so grounded!" He dramatically closed his laptop. I thought I was in the middle of the race because my heart was beating so fast! I was so moved and captivated by the emotions of the short movie. It feels like I forgot how to breathe! The projector went blue because of it signaling the class just ended. A lot of gasps and awes were heard. The story was so great and I was caught up by the scenes.

"Class Dismissed. Don't forget your presentation about the video! See you all tomorrow!" Our teacher said and waved his hand as he walked toward the door. I excitedly arranged my things and neatly put them inside my bag. I brushed my palms against my coat unto my blue navy skirt to flatten some creases.

"What's your plan this week? I heard both of your parents are on business trips..." My seatmate asked as she watched me pack my things. My mom is in a one-week medical convention in Canada. My father is also on a two-week business trip in a place I cannot remember. Therefore, I'm free to do anything I want. My parents don't like the idea of making time for wants because for them those things are just some useless and tiring hobby. They wanted me to focus solely on studies and making connections to the other rich students. Well... I am making connections as they wanted me to do. To answer her question... Dancing, of course!

"Brenda! Your suitor is here!" I felt heat rising in my face. Ugh... Why do they need to shout it out loud... I probably looked like a ripe tomato right now... I grabbed my things, hugged my laptop and rushed toward the door. I saw him leaning against the edge of the locker. Gosh... adonis came down to earth. Well, modern adonis.

"Jairus!" I beamed. He chuckled. It was like the sculpture of Adonis came into life and dresses to blend in the modern world yet still captivate the hearts of many. He already claimed one of those hearts and it was mine. He grabbed my things and started walking. My heart is beating like crazy! He is so endearing. He walks so manly yet so graceful.

"Where's your things?" I softly tugged the cuffs of his coat. "It's already in my car." he shifted his gaze unto me. He brushed his calloused hands into my hair. The flowers bloomed and burst inside my stomach.

My heart is like a snare of a marching band, it accelerates more and more as the people go excited. We are quietly walking in the hallway but my heart is so noisy. A lot of people on the campus know our relationship status. We did not try to hide it either.

"Oh my gosh, it's Jairus!" I heard someone mumble. I can also hear gasps everywhere and it came along with curious stares following us. Jairus Sullivann is part of the basketball team of the university. He is also one of the promising aces of the team.

"She's so pretty..." I blushed but Jairus just laughed at my reaction. I can't get used to this situation. I also have a name on the campus. Although I have pretty long hair, I was known as the modern snow white on stage. But not as famous as Jairus of course. We entered a studio room. I was welcomed by the strong lavender air freshener to cover the sweat stench that always accumulated here.I was blinded by the lights when Jairus opened it. The reflection of the white light in the mirror wall of the room is blinding at first. I saw the reflection of Jairus putting my things on the floor.

"May I?" He was pointing at my laptop. I just nodded. I grabbed my sweatpant and went to the changing room to wear it. I need one because I am in skirts and I want to move as freely as possible. I heard the faint music echo the room. My body unconsciously moves along to the beat. That's the effect of music on my body.

I came out of the changing room and saw Jairus taking off his blue navy coat. Despite being a year older than me, he has a toned body. Gosh... so hot... I also take off mine so I can freely dance. "Start it again!" I was skipping as I went to him. He just laughed and pinched my cheeks. A groovy beat started to blast in the room. I think its Treat Me Better by Shawn Mendez. We both are bopping our heads and smiling toward each other. I runned toward the center of the room. I started to let the beats control my body. The melody swayed my veins in excitement. I let my body translate the song on its own. This is the best feeling I ever experienced. Letting music take over my whole being. Being free to move according to my own will. That I am able to decide which next step I will make. It's a liberating feeling that I am really drawn unto. I will never get tired of it.

I was so immersed in dancing I forgot that I had company with me. I saw Jairus smiling fondly while watching me. I danced as I walked near to him and grabbed his hands. I pulled him to the center. We started swaying while still holding his hand. I felt a tug and let myself be tugged close to his body. He tightly snaked his arms in my waist. It's almost as if he was possessively hugging me. We are so close that I can feel his warm breath. He loosened his grip and twirled me that caused me to lose his hand and far to him. It left our hands hanging in the mid-air. Too close yet too far to each other. The song ended and left us both panting for air.

"That was so good! I love it!" I collapsed on the floor and started laughing. Then a realization struck me. "I didn't even stretch!" and laughed again! That's the effect of dancing on me. I was so excited to dance that I forgot to even prepare myself for it.

"Nah, you'll be fine." He offered his hand. I grabbed it and I sat on the floor. "Your body will just ache for the whole day tomorrow." He chuckled. He walked toward my things and grabbed my water bottle. He gave it to me. I sip some but he urges me to drink a little more.

"How about you? You didn't stretch either." I asked while wiping some beaded sweats in my forehead. "It's fine. I can manage." He smiled and fixed some loose strands of hair that covered my face.

"Remember the first day I met you?" him suddenly being nostalgic.

"Yeah... I was the one who introduced you to dancing. I remember it was in the court when we were in elementary school. Never have I thought that you'll be so hooked on dancing."

"Me too..." I neve ever thought I would be so too. Maybe because it gave me a reason to endure my parents and made my older sister give her time to me. " I also did not think you'd leave it."

"I did not!" He said in defense. " I just love playing basketball more than dancing. But I can still be your dance partner." he winked. I just rolled my eyes but deep inside the butterflies in my stomach were running wild. "Another song?" He asked with a smile so wide I could be blind any moment now. I just nodded excitedly. We danced and danced for hours until we decided to stop and went home.

"I couldn't be with you tomorrow. I have a practice match..." He said as he gave me my things. I will admit I am disappointed that I will not see him tomorrow. "But I'll catch up if the game finishes early."

"No, it's fine. Use that time to rest. I'll be fine." I said and gave him a reassuring smile. "Thank you. Good night." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. I felt a tingle when his lips grazed my skin. I shivered as the butterflies in my stomach wildly rampaging inside. I walked inside my house in daze.

"Brenda Emerson! You're here again!" Someone familiar opened the door and welcomed himself inside the studio room. I stopped dancing and watched him walk toward me. "Hi, Mister President."

"Don't be so formal Brenda.." He pouted. It sent shivers down to my spine. It's a disgusting sight to see. " If my fans see your expression, they will really throw a fit on you." He snickered.

"What do you want?" I was so irritated to see him and it shows in my face and tone.

"Woah, chill! I just dropped by 'cuz I saw you didn't have your guardian angel..." He held my chin up. I slapped his hand. He smirked so disgustingly it made me wanna puke, right here right now.

"Leave us alone Marcelous."

"Hah! Make me.." He smirked and walked away.

" I just want to see you, my muse. See you soon." As soon as Marcelous left the room. I quickly shoved my things in my bag and ran out of the room. Jairus is not here to protect me. I need to protect myself against him.

Marcelous Kakhulu, the president of the dance club I was in. My former dance partner in the dance club since I was his vice president but not anymore. He was as famous as Jairus but not in a good impression. He was quite the playboy, almost surpassing the famous college playboy in our university. Every week he would be linked to a girl. Rumors say he always bedded the girls he was linked to because a lot of students here on campus saw him bring them over to his condo unit. This worsened when he was officially in his legal age.

I also had a bad experience with him while practicing a dance routine. He kept touching me sensually even though it was not in our choreography. I tried to tell our adviser and my parents but they just ignored my plea.Marcelous even twisted the story! He said he was courting me and I am the one twisting what actually happened. Jairus is the only one who believed in me. That's why when I am practicing in the one of the dance studios of our campus, he is with me most of the time.

I went home alone. The maids were surprised to see me this early inside the house. I shut myself in my room and drift into dreamland. I saw my parents happily agreeing for me to take dance classes. I saw my sister proudly clapping in the crowd after my performance. I saw Jairus holding a bouquet then out of nowhere Marcelous appeared. I was startled and fell on my back hugging the flowers. He jumped unto me and trampled the flowers. Jairus were nowhere to be seen. I heard familiar music and I was jolted awake.

I saw my screen flashing Jairus name. It was a call.

"Hey, how are you? I kept calling you earlier... Are you in your home? Did I disturb you? Are you asleep? Did I–" I laugh. I can imagine how he looks. He would have this worried face as if he was checking a very fragile yet treasured apple.

"I'm fine. You did wake me up but it's fine. How's the game?" I asked. I heard him sigh on the other end and mumbled something I could not comprehend. He started telling and describing how the game went. I'm not that articulate about sports but I can manage to somewhat understand what he was saying. He also told me since they won the practice game, they were offered another practice game but with the college team of that school. That means he can not accompany me for the practice tomorrow. Disappointed but I understand. He ended the call with the 3 magic words. I know, he is still courting but I just let him do how he expresses his love to me. As for me, I am waiting for him to ask me again because I already have the answer he seeks. We ended the call because he said he still had some assignments to do. Tomorrow is Saturday so I'll just do it tomorrow. I was going to turn off my phone then a message notification popped up on my screen .I guess he really meant 'See you soon' after he left. I really don't want to go but I needed to. It was a rule that we actually signed in our application forms.

Madam VP sent to DC:

Dance Club Get-Together Party

When: Tomorrow 2PM

Where: At XXX (Near the Campus)

OOTD: 4th Generation K-pop

I went to my walk-in closet. I grabbed a high-neck puff-sleeve navy blue blouse. I partnered it with an A-line yellow plaid mini skirt. It looks plain to me so I used a white corset on top of my blouse. I also used stockings, just because and strappy red heels. I curled my long hair and used a pearly hairband with gold accents and partnered it with pearl earrings and a long layered necklace with butterfly charms and an apple pendant. I grabbed a gold purse, put some essentials such as powder, wallet and my power bank. I saw the clock and it's almost 2 PM already. I went downstairs, called Manong Gilbert to drive me to that place.

I actually don't know what I am feeling right now. I do need to go because it is required and at the same time, there's this unexplainable feeling inside me telling me not to go. I can't put my finger down if it was fear, nervousness, anger because I will be in the same room with Marcelous... I don't know. I opened my phone, told Jairus where I would be going. He wished me luck and safety.

I entered the function room. They are already noisy and enjoying themselves. Some eyes took a glance on me, some eyes were glued, some were in awe and some were in envy. "I'm glad you came! I thought you'd even break our very own rules just to ditch me!" Marcelous greeted me excitedly.

"It is nice to meet you too, President." I forcefully smiled at him. He just laughed. I feel my stomach churn in disgust. "I will not disturb you any further, enjoy..." It gave me chills down my spine as he walked away and greeted other members. I scanned the whole room and saw unfamiliar faces.I saw some familiar faces that are not members of our club. I thought this is the Dance Club party, why are they here?

I went to a vacant chair and settled myself there. I just watched everyone enjoying the event. Some are already drinking and I know some of them are not yet in their legal age. A waiter gave me some food and drinks. After I ate, everyone was asked to gather in the middle of the room for a random dance play. It's dancing, I can't say no to that so I stand up and willingly participate. I was laughing and giggling the whole time. After that, I went to the catering and asked for a drink. I was given a pink lemonade. I happily drank it as it was pretty and one of my favorites. The sweetness and sourness is just right! It also has this tangy flavor from the zest of the lemon, just how I like it. The waiter kept serving me that lemon drink when I went over to the catering, in my chair and even when I was just chatting with some colleagues.

I know I am having fun with everyone. They kept entertaining me and dancing with me. I love it. This happiness makes me somewhat dizzy. My head is a bit hazy, I think its because I moved too much today. I went to grab my phone to check the time but I was interrupted by him.

"Wow, you had so much fun... Let me join you." He said and gave me a glass of pink lemonade. I did not respond but I did not refuse the drink. I drank it as if it was the last drink of my life. It made my eyes flutter and I also had a hard time opening my eyes fully. I saw Marcelous smiling devilishly. I saw him grab my phone and do something in it. He put it inside my purse and waved at someone. He leaned closer and said something I couldn't understand. Everything I hear is muffled by something I do not know. "Just give in and pleasure will come along..." Then everything went blank.

I slightly opened my eyes when I was inside the car. It was dark outside.

I opened my eyes and saw Marcelous face. It seems like he was carrying me. My eyes saw a grand chandelier. Where is this?

I opened my eyes but everything was dark. I feel like someone is tugging my clothes off. I tried to resist as if I was hugging my own body and clothes. I'm so tired and my head is hazy.

I opened my eyes and saw him on top of me. It's still dark but there's enough light to see who I am with. I feel like crying but I can't fight back. It feels like my arms and legs are tied. Please stop this...

I opened my eyes and saw his eyes so close to mine. I tried my best to bite him off but he just laughed and said something I can not hear. Help me, help me please.

I opened my eyes and he is still there like a mad dog. I am dizzy because he kept moving and I was right, my limbs are tied. I beg you! Please stop this! I felt a tear run down on my sides.

I opened my eyes and I was inside the car. I saw that it was bright outside, so bright. Everything is aching. My private areas are sore... I wanna die...

I opened my eyes and saw my parents in the door with shocked and concerned faces. Is that even real? This might be only a dream. Ah, yes, this is just a dream. My mom was crying and my dad just hugged me when Macelous passed me to my dad's arms. I closed my eyes hoping this dream won't ever end. The dream that my parents are actually happy to have me back.

I woke up feeling everything inside me was punched a thousand times. It hurts. Even moving an inch hurts. I lay in my bed and thought, what the hell happened– My eyes went wide as fragments of events came rushing into me as if a tsunami wave hit my mind. No. No this is not real– yeah! It's just a dream... I tried to stand up but the pain stopped me from doing so as if an elephant was crushing me. If that wasn't a dream then how come my body feels like this? No...

"T-this c-can't be happening... N-no..." even my voice sounds hoarse and it hurts to speak. My hands are trembling. I remember I was tied and checked my wrists but no marks were found. I called out my mom but I stopped mid-way. I was getting dizzy with all of the emotions that came crashing down on me.

If I came and told mom, they wouldn't believe me, again. It happened before and it will happen again. No one will believe me if that I was actually rape by someone who return me home. He would twist the story again. I am the victim but I will be dismissed again as if everything that will come out of my mouth is lies and fake. If I even tried to tell them they would just tell me I am a disgrace in our family. That they would actually disown me. That I am a worthless daughter and wishes me to die instead of my sister. Oh. Die. That's good– A familiar sound broke my train of thoughts. I saw it was from Jairus. A lump in my throat swells up as soon as I pick up my phone and answer the call. Tears are swelling up in my eyes waiting for a go signal to fall.

"Brenda, are you home– what happened?" I saw his face on the screen and my tears immediately fell. " Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did something happen again? Can you tell me?" He looked so worried. I couldn't talk because of this stupid lump in my throat. All I could do was cry and cry. "Wait. Just, wait. I'll be there as soon as I can. Please stop crying..." I heard his voice crack. The screen was blurred and I saw he was inside his car. He kept making sounds as if he was shushing a baby to stop crying. The video call ended and I heard a knock on my door. My body froze.

"Brenda, it's me, Jairus... Please open the door." It was soft as if a cotton ball brushed against my whole being. I walk toward the door like a wobbly baby deer. It hurt so much that all I could do was cry in pain and sorrow. I opened the door and fell. Jairus catched me. He lifted me and walked me to my bed. He looked so confused and worried. I made him burrow his brows again...

I was telling him what happened between my sobs. I don't even know if he understands it all... He hugged me until no tears fell in my cheeks. He wiped my face with a wipes. He grabbed a comb in my side table and combed my hair. I was sniffling as he cleaned me.

"Can you decide what you are going to do next?" He asked as he kept combing my hair. I shook my head. He really does know how to calm me down...

"Can I decide for you?" I nod. I heard him sigh softly and murmur something. " Let's go to the hospital to check you up. Then we'll tell your parents later. I'll be with you, okay? " I shook my head violently. They shouldn't know about this disgrace. They will disown me for real!

"I know you're afraid but they need to know to help you get your justice– N-no!" I tried to scream but efforts were in vain. My body is trembling just on the thought they will know.

"They will know it eventually... They need to know so they can protect you..." He caresses my hand as he pleads with his eyes.

"N-no...p-please... w-we will go t-to t-the doctor but n-no.." Tears fell in my cheeks again. He groaned and hugged me tightly. "Okay, okay..." he whispered.

We went to the hospital and had me checked. They draw some blood after the general check up. Next was the obgyn clinic, I was trembling the whole time despite trying to have a strong front. The doctor asked for Jairus to be with me inside the room during the check up. He willingly obliged. He offered his arm for my support. I kept squeezing him when the doctor did her job. We did not tell what actually happened and just made up stories.

"Well, she's actually fine. Quite bruised up there but it's fine. It is normal to feel like that when it's your first time and I know, based on those bruises, you two enjoyed it that well." She laughed. Jairus on the other hand, his face is unreadable and dark. He looks... scary. "Just take a good rest and you'll be able to walk as normal. Then, you two can do it again." She said and smiled. Jairus thanked her and assisted me to exit the clinic. We were both silent as we went back to another clinic to check the blood results.

" It looks like you had fun. We found traces of Lysergic acid diethylamide or LSD in your blood. It's a type of drug that causes hallucinations, your fatigue and – but I d-don't do drugs d-doc.."

"Well, if that's the case and align it with your story earlier, you might accidentally ingest it or someone put it on your drinks. It's a highly potent drug and commonly diluted in water or drinks. And it looks like it's been a while since I can talk to you normally. It takes 24 hours to fully flushed out of your system. You can go home, drink plenty of water and rest." He said and gave us the result papers.

"If it was an accident, make sure to trace who gave you the LSD laced drink..." We just nodded. Jairus thanked the doctor and paid the bills. The ride back home was quiet. It's not awkward but it's scary... His face is unreadable and dark. He looks mad, so mad. Then here I am, not knowing what to do. My mind is just blank. I can not comprehend what is happening. Too many emotions to digest. I just want to run away from all of these things happening.

"I... I-i'm sorry.." he broke the silence. "I'm not there to save you.. Or even h-help y-you.." his voice cracked. I glanced at him and his face was buried in the steering wheel. "You don't deserve this, no one. Let me fight for you, with you, okay?" He lifted his head and stared at me. I saw a tear escaping his eyes. Not uttering a single word, I nod.

We entered the house and I saw my parents waiting in the living room. I didn't greet them but Jairus did. My mother snatched the envelope Jairus was holding. I tried my best to catch up but I was too late. My mother saw and read what's inside the envelope. "You what?!" She screamed. My body begins to tremble again. I covered my ear and cower in fear as I ran toward my room. All I saw was Jairus talking and convincing my mom about what actually happened but my mom was furious and my dad was confused. I locked my door and hid in my bed sheet.

It hurt. The lump in my throat. My head is ringing. I kept wiping my eyes dry. My whole body is trembling. My heart is beating so fast it hurts. I feel nauseous. It feels like I am being torn and opened inside out. Everything is a mess. I am a mess. I heard a click in my door and my body froze. I felt someone tugging the sheets. The similar thing that disgusting person did as he tugged and ripped my clothes. Yes, I remember him ripping my clothes because the clothes I have right now are not my clothes. I do not own a black oversized shirt and white super short skirt.

The bedsheet was removed and I was seen. It feels like I am naked like what happened there. Judging my whole appearance as if they will devour me and wreck me just like he did. "Explain yourself, young lady!" She pulled my arms and forcefully made me stand up.

"You went outside and came after a day passed by! You made everyone worried sick for what?! Trashing your life with drugs?!" She dramatically threw the paper in my face.

"Luckly, Marcelous was concerned about you and even took care of you! And now? You're making things up! Again!"

"We already allowed you with your stupid hobby but this is unacceptable!" I tried to open my mouth but no voice came out.

"You even let your suitor cover your stories up! How admirable!" She mockingly laughed.

"No! Everything he said was true! Jairus was telling the truth! We are telling the truth! Marcelous is the one who drugged me and sexually harassed me for a day!" I screamed. "I am not making things up! Everything that I tell you is the truth! But you're the one who is not listening! You don't believe your own daughter! The only daughter you have in this fucking world! You only believe the words of others but never even bat an eye or even doubt if I am actually telling the truth!"

"For you! Everything I do is lies and lies as if my whole existence is a lie itself! Maybe God actually harvested your golden child's soul for you to learn a lesson or two! But your head is so stone hard that you can't even accept the death of you–" She slapped me so hard that I felt like something broke in my neck. Everything is swirling like I was inside a kaleidoscope. It's like there's no light even if the ceiling lights are on. I feel like throwing up as I catch my breath. Tears flowing like rivers and eyes looked like they would burst any minute by now.

"You're just making things— I am not!" Cutting her sentence feels like punching my own sandcastle walls that I built for them for years and years.

"Young lady, you are so grounded!" She walked out the room and slammed the door. I fell to my knees and cried. Everything is in shambles. Everything that I tried to build in order to kiss my parents feet is gone, gone. The life I was trying to fix and improve is nowhere to be seen. I'm tired. I'm tired of this feeling no one will take me seriously. That no one will even look for me when I'm gone. Even my parents don't even see me as theirs... What more of others? My friends can live by themselves. I'm just a nobody. Maybe I am truly a liar like what my parents claim me to be. Maybe they are right, I'm just making stories just to gain their attention. Even if I seek justice, what for? No one will believe me. My parents do not believe in everythings I am saying, how about the others? My parents don't even give affection nor love,what would I expect others to give that? If I gain justice, what would it bring me? My dead sister? The affection of my parents? My old self that died within these eventful shitty things?

Hours and hours passed by. I am still lying here on the cold floor of my room. I saw the sun rise and set. No one even tried to knock on my door and asked if I'm okay. No one even gave me food or water to drink. Maybe my parents added that as my punishment. Maybe they decided to leave me here to die in hunger and rot. Well, thanks anyway because I don't have the will to live anymore. I don't want to fight back, again. I'm tired and scared to the point of no healing.

My body just moves on its own. I felt the hunger within me. I grabbed something like a canister full of candies. I ate them all. I already planned this way before this happened. It just gave me an opportunity to do so. It has a plan and there's no way back. I kept hearing my phone ringing but I'm too tired to entertain who it was. My friends will be mad about this but I know they will understand. I even caused a rift between our friendship, who am I to seek help from them?

I know God just gave us a borrowed time. This borrowed time he gave me is just full of pain and sorrow. I'm sorry, Jairus. I know you want me to fight. I know you'll fight for me. I can't tell him that I am so grateful that he introduced his first love to me. I'm ever grateful for the time we danced together. I'm so so thankful for being his muse in this such borrowed time that we have. I'm sorry but I want to end this suffering. Thanks for the borrowed time. I enjoy it though. Well, if ever this is just a dream. Please, just wake me up. I closed my eyes and my mind went pitch black.