Who am I? those words keep ringing in my ear and walk around fresh in my mind. I'm her friend, I was simply helping her out. Wasn't I? There's a problem with me. I get so annoyed with her, annoyed enough that I lose control. I'm disgusting. I don't quite understand why I get so annoyed. Annoyed of what?

My thoughts are interrupted by a sudden outburst coming from the kitchen. 

"Dad, we're your family and we are in this together. You don't have to drown yourself in worries, we're a team, this place was built as a team. Why won't you share the reports?" I see my sister and Father in the living room, Arizona looks like a mom giving her son a lecture. 

I calmly approach the scene, "What's going on?"My old man is look very stressed, probably aged a very year because of the paper sitting in front of him. It's no mystery to what that paper is, it's the harvest reports. 

"Dad's been hiding the reports from us. If I hadn't opened it I wouldn't have found out about our rates and profit being so low. All our funds have been going to your sponsorship at the rodeo." She lowers her eyes, as she finishes. 

"Is that true? Have all my funds been from this ranch?" He answers with a big stressful sign. "Dad, What were you thinking?"

"You love the rodeo. I wasn't going to make you quit. I just couldn't do that to you." He explains.

Arizona seems to understand but doesn't quite agree with his reasoning. "Dad, It's fine. It's in the past. Let's just focus on the now. We have a harvest coming up, that should help us. I'll get  the workers ready-"

"You can't." He quickly informs me," I had to let out of workers go. I had nothing to pay them with."

Had this all been my fault? For not caring for other things other than the thing I love to do? I shake my head, I need to act. If I have to stay up all night to complete the harvest I will. I grab my things as I head out the door. I don't blame my father, I blame no one, but I will take responsibility.

***

Impossible. Never knew that word, never wanted to at times it's not a desire to want the meaning, but rather you're faced with it. I am covered with sweat, my job seems endless the others with me without a doubt feel like they are not getting their money's worth. I wouldn't either. The is shining its heat with all its got, making our situation worst. 

"Guys, Come on. Let's take a break. There's water and a few snacks back at the pergola." What these men need are a break and not impossible overwork. The men come in one by one finding space around the pergola and near the sunshade. The fact that it's early afternoon, only makes matters worst, the heat, the shortage of manpower and the abundance of harvest yet to be collected, it's starting to seem impossible to accomplish. 

Sweat trickles down my forehead approaching my eyes, I wipe them off with a handkerchief. The heat must be getting to me, as I start seeing multiple vans approaching the field. I rub my eyes to deduct it's the heats doing. There it is. Mulitple people get off with the most amusing clothing I've ever seen. 

With the brightest smile, Arizona runs towards me, "Austin. Do you believe your eyes? Look"

Confused with the commotion, "What is this? What's going on? What's with all the people?"

Trying to catch her breath, "Clover. Clover got all these people to come down and help with the harvest."

As soon as those words are out of Arizona's mouth, I run towards the crowd of people, many are talking, taking pictures, and posing with their new straw hats. Lost within the ocean of people, I don't know where to look. 

"Howdy, cowboy." Clover emerges from a crowd of girls. "What do you think? You think these are enough people to help with-"

I didn't let her finish, I couldn't. I embrace her as if it's my last time and first time seeing her. I should've done this the first day I saw her and dance with her. She's my best friend and no amount of years apart should ever change that. "Thank you," I whisper in her ear. 

"Well, Cowboy. You're my best friend and no matter what I want to be the person you can depend on. I got your back." She pats my back, "At this time, I would continue to hug you, but I got to say you kindof stink and I might pass out from the smell."

I let her go with a final squeeze for my heart's content. I let out a big sigh. "Alright, people silence carefully. I'm Austin Knight and I appreciate everyone that came here. I need people to walk over there where Arizona is holding equipment. Please collect anything that is ripe enough, the men at the pergola will help you with identifying what is ripe enough to collect."

Almost immediately, people formed a line to collect equipment and each worker joined a group to give instruction. I turn to Clover, who is wearing very rural clothes. She looks like she did back when she lived here. "Where did you find so many people? Wait, Clover, you didn't promise them money did you?" 

She scoffs, "No, of course not. These are friends, colleagues, high school students who need community hours, so I talked with your Dad about it and he was able to promise community service in exchange for a bit of environmental help. Impressed?"

"Always," I give her a side hug as I admire everyone who came to help. "Do you still remember how to harvest the crops?"

She gives me a smug look, "Do I remember?" She pulls out some working gloves and heads to the fields. "Coming cowboy?"

I grab my gloves and join her to collect the harvest right next to her. Her face is in deep concentration as she revises every single aspect of the crops. A strand of hair comes loose from her poorly made ponytail. Looking closely, Her natural roots reveal her natural hair color. I tuck the strand of hair behind her ear, she smiles. I take a long look at her face before I smile. 

Somewhere deep down the Clover, I fell for is down there. Maybe if she were to come back I wouldn't feel the need to search for her. I miss her, the old her.