«How does it feel when your body becomes cold, white, dull?

Like a dim rose that has lost all of its scarlet color.

Well, that's how I feel.

I am pale, empty, yes, but also numb to everything.

Almost as if I were under the influence of a hallucinogenic substance.

As muggles do to mentally escape from the surrounding reality.

An overdose of excruciating apathy.

Being dead, or almost dead, has changed me completely. I have spent the last few years in a hut with an old wizard who was trying to restore the vital functions of my dying body.

A body that until recently had been a beautiful rosy complexion, and in excellent shape. An innocent face, two light green eyes, copper hair.

That body that used to be me.

The delicate me who wore with simplicity and composure the school uniform of her own house, Gryffindor.

I had nothing to hide, I was a seventeen year old girl, I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, I had no particular vices.

I was myself.

Another me.

Death for me was a metamorphosis.

Now I feel different, completely different from the me of the past.

Now I have blonde hair, my face is covered in layers and layers of cosmetics that I didn't even dare touch before.

I don't wear anything that isn't very low cut or very short.

The uniform is no longer the same as before, but it doesn't matter, I don't use it anymore.

I have a cigarette between my lips and a glass of incendiary whisky in my left hand.

Smoking, alcohol and death have defined my personality.

And I like it.»

-Meg

—-----------------------------------------

The sharp blade of a knife sinks into my flesh, piercing my pale throat. The last thing I see is that damned Slytherin's sneer, fading away.

My blood runs down my chest soiling the dress I'm wearing.

In vain I try to stay conscious, trying to stop the bleeding, but I pass out.

I open my eyes and notice that I am no longer at Hogwarts.

I am very tired, I feel like all my energy has been drained away by something.

I see a figure approaching the mattress I'm lying on.

It's the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.

His white beard reaches his knees and his expression is worried.

«Where am I?» I whisper, but I think he heard me anyway.

He smiles, handing me a cup containing a blue liquid. I don't know what it is but I drink it in one gulp.

I feel a slight pinch in my throat but nothing more.

«You're safe, Megan, safe.» the wizard says in a calm tone.

«He killed them, right? Did he kill my parents?» I say without flinching, and even my voice sounds different.

«What do you remember?» Albus Dumbledore asks as he sits next to me, maintaining a soothing aura.

I am perplexed for a second, then I close my eyes.

Slytherin, he was Slytherin, my killer...

«Slytherin.»I say, without stammering or lingering, it's not like me, especially if I find myself in confusing situations.

«Megan, I know it's difficult, but you have to listen to me.» Albus begins gravely, with an emotional gleam in his blue eyes, which I notice through the half-moon glasses on his nose.

I nod, normally I would never dare to interrupt a teacher, let alone the principal... but something prompts me to speak.

«Why are we in a hut?» I ask looking at the ceiling and walls of this cramped place.

Dumbledore puts both hands on my shoulders, I don't feel their weight, nor can I feel their contact.

«Something terrible happened to you Meg, terrible.»

Instinctively I bring a hand to my throat, touching the scar.

«He killed me too, didn't he?» Finally I understand that those memories are reality, the pieces come together again, but I still can't get over the fact that I am somehow alive.

Neither a tear, nor a moan of pain, nor a resigned sigh resounds in the hut.

Dumbledore gives me a pitying look.

«Before you died...before you passed...I managed to save you, just in time. It's been difficult, it's been three days.» Albus explains.

A light breeze brushes his beard, the same breeze that brushes me, but I don't feel it.

«I feel empty.» I confess putting a hand on my chest.

There's no beat...yet I'm alive.

I'm talking about my heartbeat, which has stopped.

Dumbledore frowns, but that doesn't alter the serene tone of his voice.

«I'll be seventeen forever, right?» I precede him, ignoring a small voice in my head admonishing me: do I sound insolent?

«Your life cycle has stopped, it was the only way to keep you alive, Megan.» concludes the principal, swallowing and looking away.

I start to get up from the mattress, but my legs don't seem to cooperate: I give myself a pinch, the result? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

«You can't get up yet, you will in about an hour. You must wait for the potion to take effect.»

I give myself another pinch on the arm: nothing. I think of the nervousness I should feel, by now I would have already left this place...

The pinched skin remained unharmed, there is not even the slightest redness, I am pale.

I still have the ring ... his ring, on the ring finger, I touch it but again, nothing.

«It's very important to you, isn't it Megan?» my savior asks.

«I want to see my friends now.» I say with a tone of arrogance, I didn't do it on purpose, and I didn't even feel such emotion.

«You can't do that, if you want to see them again you have to stay alive and to stay alive you mustn't let them find you. For everyone you are dead.»

I throw my head back on the pillow, I'm dead.

«Will it take a long time? Before we go back?» I ask.

«Years, but patience will be our friend. I'll help you miss Megan, but you have to trust me.» the wizard gets up and approaches a small wooden table on which some white clothes are placed.

«Wear one of these tunics as soon as you can get up, and remember that I casted a protection spell, the barrier cannot be destroyed, I will not allow them to hurt you.» Concludes the wise old man.

«Is this some kind of rehabilitation?»

He nods and leaves the hut. Megan, do I just have my name left?

12-13 years later, Hogwarts

«SIRIUS BLACK, AZKABAN ESCAPEE, DANGEROUS ASSASSIN»

«There's news, rumors... whispers.

A prisoner has managed to escape from the terrible Azkaban.

We don't know how, we don't know anything. Just general panic, and the Ministry fears the worst. Dear Albus, we need to put this school on alert: it has to host the Dementors.» Minister Cornelius Fudge concludes his speech.

The school principal sits down on the purple sofa in his study, takes a piece of parchment, folds it in half, casts a spell and hands it to the minister.

«I have nothing more to add, Cornelius.»

«Ah, I forgot, Harry Potter looks so much like his father, even James liked to break the rules.» Fudge adjusts his battered tie, then leaves with a nod.

Albus looks out of the big golden window, it's late at night.

«The Dementors will complicate everything, Meg... Poor girl.» he mutters to himself, noticing the gloomy and chilling figures of the monsters approaching the castle.

«Sirius, if what they say is true, you cannot see her, you cannot, my boy.» whispers the old wizard. «Or you will both die.»

Dumbledore sits down at his desk and devotes himself to reading the letters received in the last week.

The night is so eloquent, within the walls of the school, in the dreams of the fallen in the arms of Morpheus.

There is a boy, who is sitting at the edge of his bed, thoughtful.

Harry Potter, clutching his wand, torments his mind wondering why the dreaded Sirius Black wants to kill him, being a follower of Voldemort.

Was he helped in his escape? The Dementors, terrible creatures, let such an evil wizard escape, why?

Ireland

"Megan Cooper.

No Gold.

Cooper."

I repeat in my mind, almost as if I have to convince myself and not the others.

I get up from the mattress of the hut, I advance towards the door.

Some crows flutter around the house, making a very annoying sound.

It's sunny, and probably hot, but I can't tell.

In recent years I've gotten used to not feeling anything, except my sense of revenge, this never leaves me. Not even wanting to.

But I don't want to, it's the only reason I'm resisting.

Apart from Albus, I'm alone.

He comes every day, at 2.39pm sharp, and when we miss our appointment I send him an owl.

He gave me a gold pocket watch, and it has been very useful for calculating the years since my rebirth.

In this time I have been able to practice the spells, but I'm not ready yet.

I can't control myself.

Mostly my magic has increased, I don't even need a wand.

The tears of the phoenix made it possible for me to breathe again, speak, walk, see, hear, think... but nothing more.

I eat everything, even the grass and the crows themselves if necessary.

My taste buds are dormant, even with the strongest of spirits they show no signs of life.

I ate every other treat Dumbledore brought me over the years, but then realized it was useless.

I have no stomach cramps, no nausea, no weakness.

Five years ago I tried to turn a glass into a falcon, and got about ten.

The following year I attempted materialization, and found myself sitting on the little table in the hut.

Dumbledore wants to prevent me from summoning my patronus; I asked him several times why, and he changed the subject.

What has changed? Maybe it's not the same as before?

My wand is locked in the drawer of a small cabinet next to the mattress.

Maybe if I used my wand... my patronus...

Dumbledore will never know.

I look around, I check my watch, and it's just a few minutes before 2.39pm.

I take the silver key from the mattress, and I approach the cabinet.

Here it is, my wand made of dogwood, a very rare, inflexible wood, and the heart? Phoenix feather.

When I did the first spells, during this rehabilitation, it turned out to be useless as I already said.

I hold it.

«Expecto Patronum» I say, keeping my voice low.

A pale blue light invades the hut, and the figure of a Hungarian Horntail is revealed.

I smile satisfied, I would like to try something more, something that starts from within, but I can't, I dig into my memory and bring out a happy memory, hers, that of the one who gave me the ring.

Suddenly, the figures of two other shiny animals are revealed: a deer and a doe.

I can't believe my eyes, my hand is shaking, my eyes itch, but no tears come out.

«James...Lily?» I whisper.

Why am I even seeing their patrons?

I'm interrupted when Dumbledore materializes next to me.

«I told you not to.»

I turn abruptly.

«As you can see, I can.» I reply, annoyed.

«Meg, I think it's time to tell you everything.» The old man puts both hands on my shoulders.

«Your friends, the people who loved you... thirteen years ago... they died.» Albus ends the sentence with an expression of pain.

I remain motionless, while I listen to all the stories of my friends.

I knew them so well, despite being a couple of years younger.

Dumbledore informs me about their killer, and that their son survived.

I would like to scream, cry, get angry, feel sympathy, pain... anything.

Too many thoughts begin to form in my mind.

«What's his name?» I ask.

«Harry, Harry Potter.»

«I want to meet him.»

«You're not ready, Meg.»

«I'm not ready? Thirteen years have passed! I'm not going to fall into her life like this! But I want to see Lily's baby.» I raise my voice.

Albus smiles.

«It's almost the end of the school year, dangers and obstacles threaten Hogwarts, serious dangers, Meg.»

«I have a plan, Albus.» I start grinning.

«Let's hear it.»

«I'll change, if necessary I'll pretend to be someone else.»

«Do you want to change just to see Harry and go back to Hogwarts? Only for this? So are you willing to give up vengeance against your killer?» asks the principal hoping for an affirmative answer.

I look down.

«I want to go back to that school, okay? The reason is not important.»

«Megan, don't go after revenge. I beg you. Do not do it.»

«Sometimes revenge is the only way that allows you not to go crazy, especially when you are imprisoned or exiled because of others.»

Gloomy, the old wizard, turns me a look full of dissent.

«It's amazing how two distant souls can be so similar, isn't it?»

«Hermeticism has always been your forte.» I retort.

I don't have the faintest idea what he means, or who he's referring to.

«If that's what you want, my dear, I'll oblige, but not today. But be ready, I'll come get you within the month.»

I smile and nod at him.

Forbidden Forest

The boy is bent over the poor man lying on the ground, without strength.

Desperate, Harry Potter tries in every way to protect Sirius Black.

That man who recently was considered a murderer, a traitor ... now is the only way to save Harry.

Sirius Black, on the other hand is his godfather, was James's best friend. Peter Pettigrew, on the other hand, is the one who betrayed James and Lily.

Padfoot is now dying.

Ireland

I prepare my trunk, put on the few clothes I have. Most are black or white tunics, then my wand.

It is not enough.

Dumbledore appears at this very moment.

«I thought you could buy something in London, what do you think?» He proposes.

«Diagon Alley is risky I guess.» I stammer.

«I'll take you to the world of muggles Megan, so you won't take any risks and also you can buy all sorts of things, you'll like it. Or will you allow your pureblood status to prevail?»

I sigh and sit on the mattress.

«You know very well that I have already been there as a child. Can I go there when I'm at Hogwarts, at least?» I ask hopefully.

Dumbledore sits next to me.

«It won't be you Meg, you know that? You won't live in the castle like you always have, I'll set you up in my study, only I have access to it.»

I roll my eyes, look at my arms, they're too pale.

Then I reflect in the small mirror next to the sideboard.

«Done deal. That's fine with me.»

I get up and close the trunk.

«As always, you mustn't go out, I'll give you permission to do so.»

«How far is London from here?»

I would love to know where I am, since he kept it a secret from me as well.

«Not much, we are in Ireland my dear.» He smiles, understanding my intentions.

«I'll escort you tomorrow.»

I nod.

Hogwarts

«Bombard!» Hermione Granger yells, blowing up Sirius Black's cell.

Buckbeak, the surviving hippogriff, approaches Harry to get a pet.

Sirius walks out, hugging Harry.

«You're free!» the boy says happily.

Sirius tucks a lock of black hair behind his ear that falls over his forehead, he adjusts the filthy rags he wears, still smiling, his gray eyes glistening.

«Sirius, you escaped by turning into Padfoot, a dog, but what made you stay lucid? How did you not go crazy?» Potter asks curiously.

«Sometimes revenge is the only way that allows you not to go crazy, especially when you are imprisoned or exiled because of others.»

Hermione is fascinated by the man's words, she absorbs them into nothing.

«See you, Harry.»

Sirius straddles Buckbeak and with a little push they fly away.

The hippogriff starts flying over the school, rising higher and higher, over and over.

Hogwarts (Megs)

I drag my trunk out of that hut finally, I start breathing a different air.

«Are you ready, Meg?» Dumbledore asks, taking my hand.

«Ready.» I confirm.

We both dematerialize in his study. As soon as my eyes realize what they see, I bring my hands to my mouth.

I still feel nothing.

«It's so...»

«Different?»

«I've been here, remember? Nothing has changed» I observe.

«Well my dear, settle down, the night will refresh your thoughts.»

With a snap of the fingers the lights go out.

Inside me a thousand questions and a thousand reflections arise.

I'm home, I'm at Hogwarts.

Perhaps I will be able to complete my revenge, I will succeed in my intent.

I will see James and Lily's son.

I settle into a comfortable bed next to Albus' desk.

He packed it for me, and he even let me find some new clothes.

I light a small candle and look out the large window.

The moon is high in the sky and I inevitably think of a friend of mine... Remus Lupin.

Who knows where he is, maybe he managed to control his werewolf transformations.

I admire all the constellations, I still know how to recognize every single star in the firmament.

At one point, I see something flying in the sky, which slows down.

A very large animal with a person on its back, which I cannot distinguish.

Slowly they slow down their journey.

The man stares at me, or so it seems to me from afar, but I can't figure out who he is.

I grip the hem of my tunic tightly, I collapse on the bed.

I have a tightness in my chest, very light but intense, as if my heart...has started beating again.

Nah, it can't be, my heart is still. I feel nothing.

In fact, the movement ceases immediately.

My breathing returns to regularity and I notice that there is no longer a trace of the man and the large animal.

I close the curtains on the window and force myself to sleep, even if it will be difficult.

Hogwarts (Megs)

I wake up to an incessant meowing.

I look at my watch and it's four in the afternoon.

The meow continues and comes from a black cat with a white spot on her forehead.

«And who the hell are you?»

The cat jumps on my bed to be petted, she's tiny.

«Okay, who did you run away from?»

She looks at me and I notice the peculiarity of her eyes, they are exactly like mine, light green.

I've heard of these kinds of animals.

They have belonged to the wizarding world for billions of years, and are trained to understand danger and seek out evil, their eyes taking on the same color as the irises of the person they protect.

«Obviously Dumbledore sent you. Well, you must have a name. Wendy? Yes I like it.»

I caress the cat. I would like to enjoy the softness of her fur, but I can't.

«Good morning my dear sleepy head!» Dumbledore enters the study quickly, giving me one of his most sincere smiles.

«A guardian animal? I'm really in danger then!» I giggle.

«It's for your own good, you've been here for two months now.»

«I need to come out! Don't you think?»

«Your magic is too powerful, you need to control yourself better.»

«So, when can I go to the Muggle world? Because I can't wait to buy Muggle stuff!» I exclaim

sarcastic.

Dumbledore shakes his head.

«The Dementors are back where they were, most of them.»

«Well, that's a good thing! Though you didn't tell me why they were at Hogwarts.»

Her gaze is aimed at the large window.

I roll my eyes.

«Megan, has your heart given any signs of life...?» he asks.

I think back to two months ago, when I barely heard him tapping, what am I saying! Less than a little.

«No.» I say without adding anything else.

«Not even a little heartbeat?»

I stare at him and start playing with my hair and then change the subject.

«So, can I go?»

«London?»

I nod without thinking twice.

In these two months I've only seen Dumbledore's big library, read something about herbology and potions, really weird stuff that wasn't in school textbooks.

I hear the boys' laughter from afar, their voices and I wonder if Harry's is among them.

While I take a pouch where I put the wand I look at the ring I wear on my left ring finger.

I miss you... I think touching the tree of life ring.

I re-read the engraving inside.

Always -SB&MG

It's a promise I'm not about to break, and I sincerely hope he's okay.

«You haven't heard from him, have you?»

Albus looks at the toes of his shoes and shakes his head regretfully.

I apparate alone in London.

The last time I was here I was just eight years old and I was with my parents...

Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't feel the sadness or frustration.

I look around for a decent shop.

It's already summer and I feel like a fool walking around in a woolen tunic.

I enter a shop with very strange lights.

The clothes look like they're made of rags.

I see a very short black skirt and I must say that it would look good on me.

While I'm in the dressing room, I observe the color of my face, non-existent.

I have to fix it.

I begin to cover up any signs of apparent tiredness with cosmetics.

Dark circles disappear along with the pallor of my skin.

However, the lips are purplish, until rummaging through my purchases I grab a lipstick of a very bright color with which I dye them.

Now I look quite different, I don't look sick or tired, I look like a normal person, healthy, or nearly so.

London

I've decided to spend the evening here, among the muggles.

A dear friend of mine said that among muggles you learn the worst vices.

I sit at a table in a bar, people stare at me, am I really that different?

Yet we are all human beings, I don't understand what's strange about it.

A girl approaches, wearing a milky white apron.

«Do you want to order?» The young woman asks kindly.

I read the drinks list, they are so weird.

There is whiskey but not incendiary...

«Whisky.» She says curtly without giving a hint of a smile.

Shortly after the girl brings me a glass large enough to contain the drink.

I gulp it without a second thought, feeling nothing, yet this stuff is supposed to burn.

«Vodka, now.» I ask, raising my voice to another waiter, an awkward boy full of pimples.

The boy jumps but then immediately brings me the drink.

The "vodka" has a terrible smell, they told me, I only feel a quarter of it probably.

The various glasses on my table are all empty, because I drank them in less than a second.

I am still very sober and a gentleman who is reading the newspaper and sitting next to my table noticed this.

I should stagger or at least go into a rage, but nothing.

I'm so lucid that alcohol isn't enough for me, I want more.

I get up without even paying, and run out of the bar, I hear in the distance the awkward waiter yelling to try and stop me.

Without understanding why, I start laughing and apparate in an isolated alley.

I keep laughing for no reason.

Several similar memories come to mind, experiences I shared with a very special person.

«Ah, if only I could be here.» I sigh looking at my ring «I miss you.»

I feel a small pang in my stomach, I drank too much alcohol, and the effect, even if in a small part, is manifesting itself.

If only you could be here laughing with me...

«Meg, are you crazy?» Dumbledore's voice booms in the narrow alley.

«What did I do?» I ask innocently, throwing my hands up.

«I think you enjoyed yourself enough.»

He grabs my hand and we both materialize in his study of him.

«Don't do it again, okay?»

We both have no idea of the many reproaches that will come from now on, especially here at school.

I lay down on the bed looking at the sheets embroidered with silver threads.

«How much have you drunk?» asks the old wizard.

«It didn't affect me, after all. Some whiskey and vodka, what a crazy name, huh?» I laugh.

Albus lets out a laugh but quickly composes himself.

«You really have a lot of cheek, Meg, maybe that's why that boy fell madly in love with you.»

At those words I stop laughing.

«I'd like to understand where he is, if he's okay...» I whisper.

«He is alive. Give time to time, you know the greatest magic is enclosed in it. He who waits is always the winner.»

I connect his maxim to my desire for revenge, which grows silently inside me.

I want to wait for the exact moment, when I see him I won't take revenge right away, no... he has to suffer, like I have suffered, like my parents have suffered.

«I'm leaving you, but I have a bad feeling, so Wendy will keep you company a little longer, okay?»

I nod in a huff.

Not that that cat is annoying, but the idea of being controlled irritates me.

As I thumb through a small book, I hear a thump coming from outside.

I take my wand, and slowly approach the window.

I notice a big man who cut down a fir tree that had rotted away.

I blame the Dementors.

«Hagrid?» I whisper looking at him in the distance.

I return the wand to its place.

My nails are so unkempt.

«It's called nail polish, I wear it red, and you?»

«Black, Lily, black.»

Hogwarts

«Let the Triwizard Tournament begin!» the Headmaster punctuates with a little melancholy in his voice. «Harry Potter in my study now.»

Albus approaches Harry, his dark hair is disheveled and the boy is visibly scared. The old man takes him by the arm and quickly leads him into his study.

«Sir, I swear I didn't put my name in the goblet!» Harry Potter explains mortified.

Dumbledore closes his eyes and then puts a hand on Harry's shoulder.

«It's done now.»

Harry turns around hearing a small noise coming from behind the large bookcase, then a pitch black cat appears, the young man's green eyes reassure.

«Who's cat is this?» He asks, confused.

Dumbledore approaches the feline, inside he quivers, but pretends to be safe and calm, so he grabs the cat and gently lays her on the sofa.

«Mine.» He smiles, «Harry, are you aware of what you're going to do?» His tone is stern.

Harry doesn't know whether to nod or shake his head or whatever.

He hasn't noticed that a girl is watching his figure behind the bookcase.

Hogwarts (Megs)

Two weeks later:

«Hungarian Horntail?» I ask walking back and forth in the studio. «Can I step in, can I help him...I just need something to keep me from being seen...Did James leave his cloak somewhere?»I ask, frantically rummaging through my things and grabbing my wand.

«Harry had it as a gift years ago, I'm sorry but you can't intervene.»

I sit down trying to calm down.

«You can do something, can't you?» I ask, tapping my black nails on the principal's desk.

«I cannot.»

«Will is power.» I whisper, maybe he didn't even hear me, it will be better for both of us.

«Did you say something?»

I shake my head smiling.

The headmaster disapparates and I struggle to find a way to help Harry.

I start checking through all the books, looking for spells of various kinds.

«This is for pimples, this is for muggles and their memory, this is for the owl, this is for... no, better not know what it's for...» I say, raising my eyebrows.

I take the wooden ladder and climb up to reach the top shelf.

«History of magic, my God, what a nightmare!» I comment, remembering the period in which I studied it. «Lucky I'm apathetic, so my skin doesn't crawl.»

«Dark Arts... Well, I think I'm ready to tackle this topic.» I grab the big black book, put the ladder back where it was and sit down at my desk to start reading, moving all kinds of ornaments.

What I read becomes fascinating, almost as if it could briefly fill the void inside me.

The first spells are useless, nothing important.

Then my eye falls on a chapter.

«The Unforgivable Curses.»

I read the first, Imperius.

The curse implies that whoever is struck is under the total control of the caster.

The only ones who can resist it are those with strong willpower.

An animal can be less resistant, right?

«How do I get to the dragon?» I ask myself.

I climb the ladder again in search of a new volume to consult, I find a small one.

«Medium Spells».

Desiludo.

It creates almost the same effect as the invisibility cloak, making those protected by this spell indistinguishable from their surroundings.

Ps: It doesn't really make you invisible, rather, it transforms those affected into a kind of chameleon that takes on the color of the place where it is.

«Better than nothing.» I shrug.

I open the shutters of the large window, leaning out cautiously.

«This is real talll...» I note.

I back away and nearly trip over a dusty, dark gray volume.

«Shit.» I gasp.

I take the book blowing off the dust.

For visionaries only.

The writing is worn but reads very well.

«To hell with it!» I mutter and throw the book on the floor.

«Desiludo!» I recite pointing my wand at myself.

To make sure it worked I look in the mirror.

I'm invisible.

A sudden noise makes me fall to the ground, then I see a boy clinging to the window, screaming.

Some macabre verses come from outside,

must be the Hungarian herringbone.

Being my patronum, I know what it can do.

I rush to the window, is that Harry?

He slips onto the lower roof and the dragon approaches menacingly.

I open the window and with fluency I throw myself into the void.

I feel no fear, just a hint of adrenaline, not enough.

I exploit my lack of common sense and land on the back of the dragon.

I hold his horns tight.

At first he doesn't like my presence and does everything he can to kick me, he keeps chasing Harry.

There is a bridge in front of us.

«Imperio» I pronounce turning to the dragon, who throws himself against the bridge and before he can fall into the void I cling to the solid wood of it.

Harry is safe.

I smile, tucking my hair behind my ear, I notice that I have several scratches on my arms and my tunic is torn.

I dematerialize in the study.

I saw James and Lily's son.

Well not really good, but at least I saw him!

The invisibility spell has dissolved.

I decide to dress up my scratches, but to my surprise they have disappeared.

«Strange.» I whisper.

I don't attach much importance to it.

I close the window that I had left open.

If my heart could beat it would probably be out of my chest.

A meow distracts me from my thoughts.

«Wendy, what is it?»

She seems worried or scared, as if a black aura was forming around me, it doesn't worry me... after all, did I use an unforgivable curse, to save a life though, or did I like it regardless?

An involuntary smile appears on her face and Wendy lets out a heartbroken cry. Who am I becoming?

Hogwarts (Megs)

«It was you, wasn't it?!» Dumbledore yells, advancing towards me. «You shouldn't have intervened!»

I place my glass of muggle vodka on the desk and smile lightheartedly at him.

«Oops, did the poor dragon break his horns?» I say wryly.

Dumbledore shakes his head in disappointment.

«Is Harry safe, is he okay?» I ask.

«The rehearsals aren't over my dear, they aren't over.»

«Well, I'd be happy to help him again.»

«That's enough. First and last time. Without realizing it he is flying another year ... »

I nod looking at the bottom of the glass that I have taken again.

Who knows what I would be like if I hadn't died, I don't even remember my birthday anymore, maybe it's already gone?

I clear my throat, and without saying a word I down the last drop of the drink.

«Forces of darkness, Meg. Wendy smelled them, that's why she's restless.» He observes Dumbledore watching Wendy run back and forth in the study.

«What if I come back now?» I dare to ask.

«Meg, again? No! Not now.»

I roll my eyes and throw my glass against the wall.

The pieces of glass are countless and Dumbledore's face is amazed.

«It's the second time! Why are you doing this?» He asks, concerned.

«Because I'm tired of waiting!» I yell.

The headmaster dematerializes leaving me to my wrath, which I can't feel but I really want.

An anger that doesn't belong to me at all, but that nonetheless stems from my sense of revenge.

London

I materialize in the bathroom of a room that is filthy.

«Oh shit, where am I?» I curse at the closed door.

«Bombard!» I point my wand at the barred door.

«These muggles who close the old toilets in a barbaric way I hate them! Or I would hate it if I felt anything.»

I think emotions, I don't feel them.

A man in his fifties approaches me threateningly.

«Do you want to go for a ride, beauty?» He asks him, showing the few clean teeth that are left in his mouth, he is visibly drunk.

I stare at him and he slams to the ground at my feet.

«That was fast.» I note, I didn't need the wand.

I sit down at a craggy, dirty table.

A lady sits across from me.

She is dressed in red, she has a purple turban, her wrinkles cover her face and her wrinkled hands. She has smudged lipstick and a deck of cards in her hand.

«Do you want me to read your future?» She asks mischievously.

«I don't think I have one.» I smile.

«My dear, why don't you try?»

In school I studied divination and read a few books about it.

Muggle predictions are incorrect.

Might as well try.

«Fine.» I agree.

Satisfied, the lady positions the cards and extracts a glass sphere from her leather bag (I think it's crocodile).

It will be fun, I think of the thrill of fun.

«Cards or ball?»

I want to laugh but I hold back.

«Ball.»

«Give me your hands.» She asks.

I offer her her hands and she grabs them tightly, making me rest them on the sphere.

«Oh yes, I see great things!»

Seriously?

«Tell me, come on!» I invite her.

The lady raises her tattooed eyebrows revealing the eyelid fixed, extended, and not pendant as it was before.

What a bad show. I can't get old and that's a good thing, I don't want to become like that.

«I see a man, tall and elegant, waiting for someone, someone who doesn't come.»

The boredom that emanates is indescribable.

«The man has several tattoos, an unkempt mustache and a sad look.»

Interesting, yes.

She makes me move my hands while also turning the sphere.

«How strange, the man has disappeared. Instead of him there is another person, a young man, with white and immaculate skin, he has a singular tattoo on his left arm ...»

The lady gives me an alarmed look, her eyes widening.

«DISGRACE! DISGRACE!» She yells as she brings her hands to her mouth.

I gasp and with me the other customers of the place.

«DEATH!» the lady screams again.

Then she takes my hands, I free myself and walk towards the exit.

I should be upset.

«Your heart will still beat, I know!» shouts the lady trying to run after me.

I'm confused, a lot.

Muggle predictions are all wrong.

She is a charlatan, nothing more.

The heart? A silly coincidence dictated by her nature as a cheater.

A man with a sad look and another with white skin!

Bullshit! That's bullshit!

Muggles never amaze me.

I take a stroll through the mall, just to check out some clothes that are to my taste.

«Hey beautiful! Do you have a light?» I hear in the distance and I turn abruptly.

A group of boys point to a cigarette, they're sitting on a bench and they look more or less my age... maybe even less, they must be fourteen.

«Are you deaf? Do you have a light?» one of them asks.

I approach.

«Only if you offer me one.» the boy has the space between the two incisors, is a bit robust and his hair is unkempt.

«Thank you.»

I take the box of matches I have in my pocket for emergencies or not to attract too much attention.

I patiently access the boys' cigarettes and then light my own.

«I know this stuff hurts.»

«Everything is harmful.» replies the boy.

As I bring the cigarette to my lips I remember the first time I smoked one.

Actually I didn't even finish it, because he took it from me and smoked it for me.

I smile unknowingly.

I walk away continuing to smoke.

The tip of the cigarette turns to ash and I inhale the smoke.

I would like to appreciate the sense of addiction, but I can't.

A month later

I've bought over twenty packs of cigarettes, of every possible brand in the muggle world.

Mint, blueberry, strawberry, chocolate tobacco, apple, ginger.

«What is that smell?» Dumbledore asks as he enters the study.

«Cigarettes, I'm having a blast, I'd like to enjoy the tastes but... you know...» I point to myself and smile.

Albus looks at me contemptuously and then shakes his head.

«They ruin the internal organs!»

«If only I were alive!» I add, laughing.

«You're just like him, you were made for each other.»

I light another cigarette as I look at my hair in the mirror.

«It is not necessary to have vices. You can pass for someone else even if you remain true to your principles.»

«Relax, it's not that serious.» I answer, turning around.

«Harry is growing bigger every day, you know?»

«Too bad I can't see him...» I continue sarcastically.

«Get ready Meg, because tomorrow you become the granddaughter of the headmaster.»

I look into his eyes.

I can't believe it, he must be joking.

«That? Shit, you're really weird!» I say blowing the smoke from my nostrils.

«Don't be vulgar.» He scolds me, adjusting his hat.

I sigh holding back my laughter.

«I was saying, you're going back to school, but you're going to be my nephew, okay? Distant relatives in common, nothing more, do you already have a false name?» He asks.

«If I could feel anything I'd say I'm amazed at your keen shrewdness, however yes, I've thought about changing my last name, for example Cooper. Hm? Megan Cooper, would I say it can be done? A thoroughbred girl who had to leave her dear grandmother in Ireland and moved to cold and rigid England, to Hogwarts, I'd say it's flawless, right?»

The headmaster purses his lips and gives me a knowing smile.

«Slytherin.»

Slytherin.

I quickly put out the cigarette in the metal ashtray I bought in London.

«Absolutely.»

So I can avenge my killer. Will he have children? Or will he just appear at Hogwarts? The only way is to get back on track, even as a Slytherin.

«We'll say you went through the sorting with me yourself, as for the professors, they don't need to know,» Albus whispers. «You'd be surprised if you met old friends, Meg.»

I roll my eyes.

Here are his cryptic maxims.

When Dumbledore leaves, I fondly look for my wand.

«The color of my hair...I have to change it.»

"Your hair is so beautiful, Meg. Soft and shiny, this light coppery brown."

«Forgive me mom.» I say, taking a deep breath.

What is the image I want to give of myself?

I point the wand at my hair, cast a spell without speaking the formula, just thinking about it, and my hair changes.

They become lighter, a beautiful golden blond, they also become longer and thicker.

Now I'm different. I am complete.

This is Megan Cooper.

Blond hair, painted face, low-cut clothes, smoker and drinker, Slytherin, pureblood.

Only something is missing, the ring, I have to take it off.

I take the object and keep it in a small chest under the mattress.

«I'm coming, you coward, see you soon.»

I turn off the lights and put the wand under the pillow.

I have no idea how tomorrow will go, maybe it will be easier than I think.

Or maybe not.