BORN TO DIE ╱ DRACO MALFOY
꒷꒦ · ˚.‧ . written by ella . . . © -lostgardens
084 ━━━━━━━━━━━ ❛ thestrals ❜

Another weekly meeting with Snape was complete, and Olivia felt only slightly better. She and Draco had been keeping a safe distance from each other since she didn't accept his apology, though she didn't miss the occasional glances he'd send in her direction. And she was sure he didn't miss the ones she sent his way too. They weren't arguing or angry with each other, for the most part; they simply weren't speaking. Olivia had put most of her focus on her schoolwork and kept her head down.

She missed him, but she wasn't going to forgive him quite yet.

Walking down the corridor, Olivia's mind was blank for what felt like the first time in forever. She had so much to think about as of late, but now she could finally relax and take a breath. It felt wonderful. So she decided to continue this, get a break from the real world, and just walk and escape her life for a moment. She walked across the courtyard and headed towards the edge of the forest. She knew it was forbidden and that she shouldn't go in there, but it was daylight—the early hours of the morning—so she felt as if she would be fine. Most of the creatures lingered in the darkness of the night anyway.

She walked in a little further, breathing in the fresh air of the outdoors and feeling herself calm even further. She adored having friends and people to turn to, but she missed her alone time, besides when she was with Lucas, and even then, they could sit in comfortable silence. Her brother loved his alone time too, so sometimes they'd go to their rooms and just be by themselves, and it was peaceful for Olivia. Not having to entertain a conversation or keep up with what to say next, she could just read her book, go for a stroll, or just be in silence.

After about ten or so minutes of walking, in her sight came a girl with white-blonde hair and pale skin that reminded Olivia much of Draco. She always reminded Olivia of Draco, ever since the first time she'd seen her during the feast of her second year. The girl was standing in front of a thestral, petting its muzzle, while many others laid around and walked. Olivia stopped in her tracks, staring at her. Luna Lovegood was her name. She was a witch in Lucas's year and had a curious mind like no other—at least, according to the words of their schoolmates.

Olivia glanced down, noticing that the younger girl was barefoot, which made her brows furrow in confusion. Why wasn't she wearing shoes? Better question: Where were her shoes? Shaking the questions from her mind and letting her confusion settle for a moment, Olivia wondered if she should just turn around and go in a different direction and leave the girl to her peace with the thestral. Or perhaps she should go up to her and join her in her peace. After all, Olivia wanted to get a better look at the winged creatures. She tossed the thoughts around in her mind as she just stood there, staring at the girl's back and long white-blonde hair.

But before she could decide...

"Hello," Luna said, her voice soft like an angel's. She wasn't even facing Olivia, and she hadn't looked back to see her, yet she knew she was there. How did she know she was there? Did she have eyes in the back of her head or something?

Olivia's brows knitted at the girl's ability to sense her presence. She could not understand why it had surprised her so much; it was not a particularly unusual talent. She herself had done it many times before—knowing that someone was there without even looking up from what she was doing (usually reading a book); that feeling of chills creeping down her spine at the feeling of someone watching her or nearing.

"Hello," she replied, her expression turning kinder as she approached her, listening to the sound of her boots crunching the fallen leaves with each step she took. "Uh, Luna Lovegood, is it?" Some people called the witch "Loony Lovegood" just because she was described as odd and different, so Olivia made it a point to enunciate the girl's actual first name. Not that Luna seemed to notice the gesture anyway, just as she barely noticed how people used the nickname as an insult. It made Olivia feel better, though. She thought the nickname was ridiculous and that the wankers that labeled her as such were, well, wankers.

Luna nodded and hummed, still so softly, as Olivia stopped by her side. She turned to the older girl with a small smile on her face as she continued to stroke the muzzle of the thestral.

"I'm Olivia Mallard, by the way," Olivia told her, smiling back.

"I know who you are," the blue-eyed girl admitted. "Lucas speaks of you often."

"Right." Olivia nodded, recalling when Lucas explained his secret group of Ravenclaw (and one Gryffindor) friends to her, which included none other than Luna. She didn't realize her brother spoke of her to them, though. She'd hoped what he said was in good spirits.

No, she knew it was.

Hopefully.

"Something seems to be bothering you, Olivia."

"No, nothing at all."

"Is it to do with Draco?" Luna asked curiously, hitting the nail right on the head. Olivia opened her mouth to speak, preparing to ask the girl how she knew, but Luna continued before she could. "I've noticed the distance between you two," she elaborated. "You can tell me whatever it is; perhaps I can help you."

It took Olivia what felt like forever to finally come to realize what she was feeling, or even be able to put it into words in her mind. Her mind had been blank and clear—peaceful—when she first got out there. But now that Luna could see that something was wrong with her, all of the troubling thoughts came flooding back, and her mind was far from what it was.

"It's torture," she finally confessed, looking at the winged horse in front of them. She lifted her own hand to stroke its muzzle. It wasn't soft like a regular horse.

"What is?" Luna questioned gently, focusing on Olivia with her full attention.

Olivia sighed in defeat, contemplating if she wanted to tell what she was feeling to a girl she'd just formally met. She wasn't scared of Luna going off and spilling her secrets to anyone who would listen; she knew the girl wasn't like that, despite only knowing her for a short amount of time. She just didn't seem the type; no, she seemed trustworthy. Her eyes met the girls, seeing their bright blue hue and the kindness that lingered within.

"All of it," she answered. "To always want to be near him, to want to see him, speak to him, kiss him, make him smile, feel his touch, and not be able to do any of it." Her gaze had drifted to the ground while she was lost in thought, listing off all of the things she wished she could do with Draco. But with her mother breathing down her neck, Draco's father's loyalties, the looming presence of the pink-dressed witch and Voldemort, and Draco's agreeance with Umbridge's ways, while also finding any excuse (or none at all) to pick on Harry, and the fact that he didn't believe her nor Harry about what happened (or, at least, he acted as if he didn't), it all felt like too much, and she knew that she couldn't be with him. It just wouldn't work no matter how hard either of them tried or how much they wanted it, not whether the faults were their own actions or not. "Do you know what that feeling is?" she asked, looking up at Luna. Her brows pinched, and she had the smallest amount of desperation in her tone, wanting so badly to know the truth about her feelings. Then she let out another sigh, looking at the thestral again. "Because I certainly do not."

Luna, for probably the first time in her life since Olivia was rather certain she knew life's secrets (Ravenclaws were wise like that, no?), said, "I'm not sure," releasing the smallest sigh. Her tone was still rather jovial, however. Olivia had the sneaking suspicion that Luna never sounded sad, no matter how down she was. She was sure she saw the light at the end of every tunnel, the silver lining in every feat, and the good in every evil. "But it sounds more beautiful than torture."

Olivia nodded her head in agreement. Her and Draco's relationship was beautiful; she couldn't deny that. Painful and frustrating, but beautiful nonetheless. She had once told Hermione that fact, downplaying the facts of hers and Weasley's relationship (which still would never compare to what she and Draco had, not by a million years, no matter how much the two of them cared for each other).

"It is beautiful," she admitted, "but it's also painful. So painful." She inhaled deeply, tucking a bit of hair behind her ear, keeping her focus on the thestral as she thought. Her hands were by her sides now, and her mind was on her and Draco and what they'd been through over the past four years since they'd come to Hogwarts—not what the school years had brought everyone, but what the two of them had gone through, mainly at the hands of the other—and all of the feelings that brought her. "My mind and heart ache for him, and I don't want them to. I don't want to rely on him to make me feel these things, but I can't control it," she explained, and it was all true.

Never in her life would the eleven-almost-twelve version of her that despised Malfoy think that she would've been pining to be near him in the future, even though she knew she shouldn't and couldn't, or that she'd have feelings for him other than dislike and distrust.

"I haven't spoken to him in a week and a half, and I miss him like nothing I have ever missed before, so desperate for just a crumb of what we had over the summer," she continued, sounding so sad about it all. And she was. "Yes, I see him every day, in the Great Hall, in lessons, in the common room; I'm in his presence all the time. But I miss him dearly... So dearly. I miss seeing his smile, feeling his touch, kissing his lips, and hearing his voice tell me all of the things he feels for me." She began to drift, going back to the happiness of what she felt to be with him. Then she remembered the reason they weren't speaking now. "But he doesn't believe me; he thinks I'm a liar, and I can't forgive him until he proves otherwise."

"Until who proves what?" a familiar voice asked from behind the girls.

Olivia was knocked out of the trance she was in as she turned around to find Harry approaching them. "Harry," she breathed out with a tense smile as he came to stand between her and Luna. He gave her a questioning look, and she wasn't about to tell him that she was pining for and spilling her heart to Luna about Draco. It wasn't any of his business, and he did not need to know. She just hoped he hadn't heard anymore of the conversation besides the last little bit. Her eyes found Luna's with a tight grin still on her face, and then she looked at Harry again. "It's not important."

Harry looked at Luna, who was staring at him, then he glanced down to the ground, clearly not going to push Olivia on the matter that she and Luna had been discussing. "Your feet," he said, and Olivia looked down too, seeing the younger girl barefoot. She'd forgotten about that. "Aren't they cold?" he then questioned as both he and Olivia focused back on the girl.

Luna nodded, and her answer was, "Bit." She looked over at the thestral, along with the other two, then added, "Unfortunately, all my shoes have mysteriously disappeared."

Olivia furrowed her brows at this. Her shoes mysteriously disappeared?

"I suspect nargles are behind it."

What on bloody Earth were nargles?

Olivia didn't voice her perplexity over the unknown-to-her creatures Luna spoke of, and Harry didn't either, not seeming confused by it at all. Did he know what nargles were? If he did, he better tell Olivia. She'd been through most books on magical creatures, and she'd never once heard of nargles.

She inhaled and exhaled deeply, letting the topic rest for now, and found the thestral with her eyes; that was what Harry's attention seemed to be on the most. The one they were standing in front of walked away, going towards the others.

"What are they?" asked Harry, as the three of them watched the creatures.

"They're called thestrals," Luna replied, and the skeletal creature opened its wings and flapped them once before lowering them again. Olivia continued to watch it venture off as Luna glanced over at Harry. "They're quite gentle, really, but people avoid them because they're a bit..." They focused on two thestrals in the distance in front of them: a mother and a baby.

"Different," Harry finished for her. Then the three of them began walking towards the mother and the baby, as he asked, "But why can't the others see them?"

Olivia and Luna both looked over at him, Olivia finding a bit of comfort in him not knowing the reason thestrals were visible to only certain people. She'd known why, but only recently had she been able to see them herself.

"They can only be seen by people who've seen death," Luna answered.

"So you've known someone who's died then?" It was a question, though it sounded more like a statement, like he knew what she would say. He did, of course. She wouldn't be able to see them if she hadn't. He didn't bother directing his question to Olivia, already knowing her answer.

"My mum," Luna replied with a small nod as they continued to walk. "She was quite an extraordinary witch, but she did like to experiment. And one day, one of her spells went badly wrong," she explained, her tone gentle even though she was talking about the death of her mother. "I was nine."

Olivia's heart pegged at the girl's confession. She didn't know what it was like to experience having a good mother, but she knew that having one and then losing them must be something so painful and difficult to swallow. And to be so young when it happened, too, made her feel for Luna deeply. Luna and Harry both.

"I'm sorry," Harry said at the same time as Olivia, only the girl adding "Luna" to her sympathy, both of their tones soft and barely above a whisper.

"Yes, it was rather horrible," Luna continued as they neared the baby thestral, coming to a stop. "I do feel very sad about it sometimes, but I've got dad." She began searching through her small tote bag. "We both believe you two, by the way," she said, pulling out a bright red apple.

Olivia and Harry just stared at her as the baby thestral let out a small screech and came closer.

She caught their stares, widening her eyes just a bit. "That He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back, and you fought him," she elaborated, and Harry looked away from her. "And the Ministry and the Prophet are conspiring against you both and Dumbledore."

"Thanks," Olivia and Harry replied in unison, and then the boy went on to add, "It seems you're about the only ones that do."

Olivia nodded in agreement. She knew of a few others who believed them as well, but that list was short—the Order, of course, Lucas and Theodore, and she didn't have confirmation, but she'd like to think that Pansy and Blaise thought her to be telling the truth as well. And if Crabbe and Goyle did also, they hadn't given her any indication that they'd admitted it when asked, nor did anyone else she encountered.

"I don't think that's true." Luna bent down and rolled the apple to the baby thestral. Then she stood up straight again. "But I suppose that's how he wants you to feel."

"What do you mean?" they asked her.

"Well, if I were You-Know-Who," she continued, looking over at them, seeing that she had their undivided attention, "I'd want you to feel cut off from everyone else... because, if it's just you alone, well, in this case, you and Olivia alone"—her gaze drifted back to the thestrals as she thought—"you're not as much of a threat." Then she sent them the kindest smile Olivia had ever seen in her life; it made her small, cold heart thaw just the slightest.

Then Luna threw the thestral raw meat, having pulled it from her bag, which made Olivia furrow her brows as she wondered why the girl would possibly carry that around—clearly to feed the thestrals, but still, it was raw meat, for Merlin's sake—and they watched the creature scarf the meat down like Theodore did whenever any kind of food was in front of him. They remained silent for a long while, both Olivia and Harry brewing in the wisdom Luna bestowed upon them. And then Olivia parted from them, heading back to the castle.

As she walked down the corridor, she thought about Luna's words—not only her words about what Olivia was feeling for Draco, but about how Voldemort might be trying to isolate Harry and her from others to make them more vulnerable. She realized that she had almost begun to play right into his hand, if that was in fact what he was doing.

When she practically ran into her brother, with her mind lost and away from the real world for a moment, she looked up at him with surprise. That surprise soon turned into a smile as she realized that she didn't need to run off somewhere. She did not need to isolate herself. No, she'd spend time with her brother, even if that wasn't his plan.

"Hello, Luke," she said brightly. She took a step back to put a bit of distance between them so that she could get a better look at him. He was dressed in olive green trousers, which were cuffed at the ankles and held on his waist with a black belt, a black sweater, and black combat boots, much like something she'd wear. His hair was in its usual mess of curls, though it seemed as if he defined them a little bit.

He looked down at her with a genuine, but still slightly suspicious, smile due to her being in a good mood. "Hi, Livvy," he replied, tucking his hands into his pockets.

"Where're you off to?" she asked, ignoring his suspicion. It was time she reconnected.

"Oh, I was heading to the Great Hall to get a bite to eat." He lifted a finger, pointing in the direction she'd just come from, then dropped his arm to his side. "The others are already there, but I wanted to finish up a sketch before I ate, so I told them to go on without me."

"Brilliant!" She beamed, still with a smile on her face. "I'll join you." She turned around to face the direction she'd been coming from and looped her arm in his. "I could use something in my stomach right about now. I'm quite famished now that I think of it," she admitted as they began to walk towards the Great Hall.

"You seem to be rather... cheerful," he told her, confused by her sudden chipperness after she'd been moping (though she wouldn't admit it out loud) for the past few days. Everyone had noticed it, including Lucas.

"Not cheerful, just living in the moment while I can, my boy," she corrected him, with a certainness to her tone.

He wondered why she called him "my boy" as if she were some deep-sea pirate from a faraway land and he was her apprentice, a pirate-in-making, but she didn't give him a second to voice his thoughts.

"I think last year showed us that life is too short to take for granted."

Despite the weird, pirate-esque name she'd given him, he agreed with her words, knowing that he'd come close to not having a sister and a forever best friend all because she was at the wrong place at the wrong time. "Indeed, it is."

"So, what have you been up to recently? I feel as if we haven't talked, just the two of us, in so long besides those few times over the summer. I miss it." She paused for him to answer, but then something else came to mind, and she spoke again before he could. "Also, I spoke with your friend Luna Lovegood earlier, and when were you going to tell me that you speak of me often to your Ravenclaw mates?" Her tone was slightly teasing as she quirked a brow, being the big sister that she was, having found out that her brother often told his friends about her. It made her feel special, as if he were proud of her being his sister.

She hoped he was.

Lucas playfully rolled his eyes at her teasing. "I just simply update them about your latest antics," he confessed with a small shrug as if it weren't that big of a deal. "They've become quite fascinated with you, though most of them are rather scared to actually come up and speak to you themselves, even when I am near." He explained this to her with a tad bit of amusement in his tone, facing forward and thinking back to his conversations with his friends. "And to answer your first question, I haven't been up to much lately that you don't already know about. I sketch and read here and there, I study, I go to lessons, and I sometimes spend time with my 'Ravenclaw mates,' but I am mostly with you and the others. Oh, and I am going to try out for the Quidditch team this year." He had a bright smile on his face as he looked down at her.

She matched his smile and said, "That's wonderful, Luke! You'll finally get to put your gear and broom to good use." She knew he'd make the team. He was a wonderful Quidditch player; he just hadn't, by chance, been able to try out for the team. But he finally could now, and Olivia was so excited for him despite her lack of personal interest in the sport besides certain players. "Also, tell your friends that there is no need to be scared of me. I promise, I won't bite if I know that they're your mates."

"Yeah. I feel you underestimate your intimidation skills often," he told her, knowing that not one of his friends would be able to get a word out of their mouths if she was in front of them. "You have that look in your eye that makes people think you want to murder them, even if you don't want to." Then Lucas shut his eyes, squeezing them closed with regret over his choice of words. "Sorry, poor choice of words," he muttered, opening his eyes to look down at her with a sorrowful look.

Olivia softly smiled at him, shrugging it off as if there were no chip on her shoulder. And it wasn't. Cedric's death loomed over her still, in the back of her mind and in her nightmares, but she couldn't expect the topic to go unspoken forever. "It's quite all right. We can't avoid the words death, murder, graveyard, and curse forever, Luke." She squeezed his arm reassuringly from where she had hers looped in his and her hand resting on his bicep. "I know that you believe in my innocence, and that's all that matters."

"Speaking of which, know that none of my friends think that you're guilty of anything. They may be frightened of you, but they truthfully believe yours and Harry's telling of events from the night in the graveyard. I wouldn't be friends with them if they did not," he assured her with a kind smile.

That made Olivia feel quite better. "Well, at least I have some on my side of things," she muttered, letting out a breath through her nose, thinking about the one that didn't believe her but she wanted to so badly. Then she shook the thought of him from her mind, trying not to rid herself of this better mood that she had found herself in. "Tell them I said thank you. I truly do appreciate it." She returned his grin once more.

Lucas could see right through it, knowing what had been on her mind. "Do you want to talk about what's happening between you and Draco?" he inquired gingerly, trying not to upset her.

"Not particularly," she replied with a sigh, dropping her smile. "I've already spewed my heart once today, and that was to Luna. I don't think I could do it twice, especially if I was telling them to my little brother." She found his gaze, narrowing hers with a smirk on her face. "Do you truly want to hear about all of my gross, lovey-dovey feelings for him?" Her words came out teasingly, just as she intended them.

Lucas's expression twisted in disgust. "Not really."

"I figured as much," she said, letting out a small laugh.

And then he laughed, and the joyous sound warmed Olivia's heart.

Smiles overtook their faces once more as they approached the area between the double doors of the Great Hall, the front doors of the school, and the entry staircase. But before they could get any further or even make it past the stairs...

"Pardon me, professor, but what exactly are you insinuating?" Umbridge's uptight and squeaky voice rang in their ears as they came upon the Great Hall.

The smiles on their faces and laughter that they'd been sharing died down rather quickly as they focused on the scene in front of them. McGonagall and Umbridge were walking up the stairs, their backs turned to the two Mallards.

"I am merely requesting that when it comes to my students"—the two professors came to a stop and turned to each other—"you conform to the prescribed disciplinary practices," McGonagall told the pink-wearing witch as others began to pile out of the Great Hall and into the corridor to watch what was happening. Olivia saw Harry as well as her friends and Draco, but her focus remained on the two on the stairs.

"So silly of me, but it sounds as if you're questioning my authority in my own classroom... Minerva," Umbridge replied, taking a step up on the staircase so that she and the other professor were the same height.

Olivia scoffed. "What authority?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at Umbridge. The two women looked over at her, seeing the crowd of students, as Olivia took her arm from Lucas's and took a step forward. "I thought you were just a mere professor? You're not Headmistress, and just because you're a little Ministry seed that was planted in this school does not mean that you get to act any way you'd like, even in your own classroom, Professor Umbridge." Olivia smiled sarcastically as she used the woman's title.

Before Umbridge said anything or, Merlin forbid, gave Olivia detention for speaking out, McGonagall raised a hand to the girl and said, "Thank you, Miss Mallard, but I can handle this." And Olivia knew she could as Lucas pulled her slightly back from where she'd taken a few steps closer. McGonagall turned to the other witch once more. "I was not questioning you at all, Dolores"—she took another step up like Umbridge had done, making herself taller than her—"merely your medieval methods."

"I am sorry, dear," Umbridge replied, as if she were taken aback by McGonagall's gall to question her. "But to question my practices is to question the Ministry, and by extension, the Minister himself." (That was a reach if Olivia had ever heard one.) "I am a tolerant woman"—(that was also a reach, and it almost made Olivia laugh, but she held it in)—"but the one thing I will not stand for is disloyalty."

McGonagall took a step down, clearly stunned by the insinuation that Umbridge was throwing her way. "Disloyalty?"

Umbridge took another step up, facing not only McGonagall but also the crowd of students behind them, looking down at all of them as if she were some great and superior witch. "Things at Hogwarts are far worse than I feared," she told them, sounding rather upset and unstrung.

Olivia rolled her eyes. It irritated her so badly—the woman and her tone.

Was Hogwarts perfect? Not in the slightest. Did she want this woman to fix the flaws? Merlin, no. She'd rather pitch herself off the Astronomy Tower or have a meaningful conversation with her mother than for that to happen.

"Cornelius will want to take immediate action," Umbridge added.

This made Olivia curious as to why the professor was on a first-name basis with the Minister. Rather unprofessional, was it not? If only she knew the hell that was to come.

Also, where the bloody hell was Dumbledore?

≀⋆⁺₊⋆ ꗃ 𖦹⨳✺

━━━━ ella's speaking !
okay, so i'm almost done writing act five so i thought it was about time i updated again lmao. i really enjoy how this act is written and i think y'all will enjoy it too !!

< lucas and olivia 3

also, expect much more of olivia and harry in this act!

make sure to comment and vote 🫶🏻

kisses.

━━━━━━━━━━ born to die,
© -LOSTGARDENS,        july 2024

word count: 4943.   written: 6.11-15.24.   published: 7.30.24.