favor - avenoir ✦°

°✦  "everything is conditional"

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WITH HARRY IN THE HOSPITAL WING for the rest of the weekend, y/n tried to figure out what was going on with her mind. after many hours of research in the library, she came to the conclusion that nobody had ever had the same experiences as her. it also didn't help that her mother hadn't been replying to her letters- or rather, the questions in her letters, because she was definitely receiving them. y/n knew that her mother had been getting them, because every time the school owl (terry) came back, he had another letter for her, briefer than the previous one and little to nothing on it. was she losing her mind?

through her confusion, y/n went to dumbledore for answers- the slick git was unfortunately the wisest person she knew. stepping into his office, y/n looked around. the last time she was in here was after the chamber of secrets was opened and harry and y/n went to save ginny from tom riddle. the many portraits on the wall turned to look at her, and she suddenly felt conscious that they were there. 

"y/n! what a pleasant surprise!" came the voice of the headmaster.

"hello professor. im sorry for turning up like this - i didn't know where else to go." she said apologetically.

"that's quite alright, i was wondering whether you'd visit. especially after the match. i'm sure you have many questions- come sit." he gestured to the seat opposite his desk. y/n walked and sat down, setting her bag next to her. "ask away, my child."

"well, i was wondering whether or not you know what happened with me on the day of the match. and if you know anything about other people maybe having similar abilities." said y/n. she felt slightly awkward-ed talking to dumbledore without harry present. 

"y/n, as i understand it, you have some sort of extra power that nobody else has ever had. i admit, i don't fully understand what you can do or why, your mother may be the only person with all the answers, but there was a certain prophecy made, only a short while before you were born, about a child of the sea, who may or may not be the destruction of existence. now i may have to brush up on my facts and get back to you, but i assure you that everything happens for a reason, and all truths are told eventually."

"ok..." y/n trailed, getting more confused by the minute, until she decided she would end it by simply leaving- dumbledore clearly had no intention of telling her what he knew, not yet at least. "well professor, thanks, i think i'll go visit harry now."

she got up, snatching her bag up with her.

"yes alright, goodbye miss l/n." he smiled as she left.

how bizarre. 

y/n made her way to the hospital wing after not seeing harry the entire weekend. it was bordering curfew so ron and hermione would probably be back at the dorms by now. as she pushed open a door, and stepped in, y/n noticed the many flowers and get well cards had been gifted to harry and realised that she hadn't even thought about getting anything for the boy. unfortunately she had no time to back out the door and get something, because harry had already noticed her.

"hey stranger." he called from his bed.

she grinned at him, "hey.".

she walked over to his bed and sat down at the chair.

"you feeling any better?" asked y/n.

"yeah, loads thanks. how come you haven't visited?" straight to the point i guess.

"oh, you know, lots of stuff to do, lots of homework, you know how i am with homework. and i meant to get you something but i didn't have time with all my work so instead i just have this." 

she rummaged through her bag until she found the chocolate bar she was saving for later- desperate times call for desperate measures.

she handed it to him with a smile. then she spotted a card stuck beneath harry's fruit bowl.

"hey, whats this?"

"no! don-" harry was cut off by y/n removing the bowl and opening the card, welcoming a shrill voice singing. y/n laughed at it, reading the inside, noting it was from ginny, before closing it and putting it back under the bowl. 

"guess someone has a thing for harry potter, huh?" y/n said to harry.

"who, you?" he smirked.

"you're such an arse!" said y/n, throwing a grape at him, smiling.

"you didn't deny it."

no she did not.

---

"if snape's teaching defense against the dark arts again, i'm skiving off," said ron as the quartet headed toward lupin's classroom after lunch. "check who's in there, hermione."

hermione peered around the classroom door. "it's okay!"

professor lupin was back at work. it certainly looked as though he had been ill. his old robes were hanging more loosely on him and there were dark shadows beneath his eyes; nevertheless, he smiled at the class as they took their seats, and they burst at once into an explosion of complaints about snape's behaviour while lupin had been ill. 

"it's not fair, he was only filling in, why should he give us homework?"

"we don't know anything about werewolves-"

"two rolls of parchment!"

"did you tell professor snape we haven't covered them yet?" lupin asked, frowning slightly. the babble broke out again.

"yes, but he said we were really behind he wouldn't listen --"

"-- two rolls of parchment!" 

lupin smiled at the look of indignation on every face. "don't worry. i'll speak to professor snape. you don't have to do the essay."

"oh no," said hermione, looking very disappointed. "i've already finished it!"

they had a very enjoyable lesson. lupin had brought along a glass box containing a hinkypunk, a little one-legged creature who looked as though he were made of wisps of smoke, rather frail and harmless looking.

"lures travellers into bogs," said professor lupin as they took notes. "you notice the lantern dangling from his hand? hops ahead -people follow the light -- then --"

the hinkypunk made a horrible squelching noise against the glass. when the bell rang, everyone gathered up their things and headed for the door but --

"wait a moment, harry," lupin called. "and you y/n, i'd like a word." 

y/n and harry doubled back and watched lupin covering the hinkypunk's box with a cloth.

"i heard about the match," said lupin, turning back to his desk and starting to pile books into his briefcase, "and i'm sorry about your broomstick, harry. is there any chance of fixing it?"

"no," said harry. "the tree smashed it to bits."

lupin sighed. "they planted the whomping willow the same year that i arrived at hogwarts. people used to play a game, trying to get near enough to touch the trunk. in the end, a boy called davey gudgeon nearly lost an eye,and we were forbidden to go near it. no broomstick would have a chance."

"did you hear about the dementors too?" said harry with difficulty. lupin looked at him quickly.

"yes, i did. i don't think any of us have seen professor dumbledore that angry. they have been growing restless for some time -- furious at his refusal to let them inside the grounds.... i suppose they were the reason you fell?" 

"yes," said harry. he hesitated, so y/n took the opportunity to ask a questions herself.

"professor, did you hear about what i did that day?" y/n enquired. 

"i did, and i'm afraid to say that without you showing me, i will not be of much use to you." he replied. "have you tried dumbl-"

"yes. he was so vague that i don't think he truly knows. he said my mum will know but she's been dodging me for about two weeks now." y/n sighed. "i don't know what to do."

"listen, i'll try look it up for you, but i can't guarantee any answers." lupin says, smiling. y/n nods in reply.

"why? why do the dementors affect me like that? am I just --?"

"it has nothing to do with weakness," said professor lupin sharply, as though he had read harry's mind. "the dementors affect you worse than the others because there are horrors in your past that the others don't have."

a ray of wintery sunlight fell across the classroom, illuminating Lupin's grey hairs and the lines on his young face.

"dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. they infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. even muggles feel their presence, though they can't see them. get too near a dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. if it can, the dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself... soul-less and evil. you'll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life. and the worst that happened to you, harry, is enough to make anyone fall off their broom. you have nothing to feel ashamed of."

"when they get near me --" harry stared at lupin's desk, risking a quick glance at y/n, his throat tight. "i can hear voldemort murdering my mum." 

lupin made a sudden motion with his arm as though to grip harry's shoulder, but thought better of it. y/n moved to wrap an arm round harry's back. she was confused he didn't tell her but was sure he had his reasons. besides, they were even now anyways; she hadn't told him about going to dumbledore, or even directly addressed how she'd saved him. there was a moment's silence, then--

"why did they have to come to the match?" said harry bitterly. 

"they're getting hungry," said lupin coolly, shutting his briefcase with a snap. "dumbledore won't let them into the school, so their supply of human prey has dried up.... i don't think they could resist the large crowd around the quidditch field. all that excitement ... emotions running high... it was their idea of a feast."

"azkaban must be terrible," harry muttered. lupin nodded grimly.

"the fortress is set on a tiny island, way out to sea, but they don't need walls and water to keep the prisoners in, not when they're all trapped inside their own heads, incapable of a single cheery thought. most of them go mad within weeks."

"but sirius black escaped from them," harry said slowly. "he got away..."

lupin's briefcase slipped from the desk; he had to stoop quickly to catch it.

"yes," he said, straightening up, "black must have found a way to fight them. i wouldn't have believed it possible.... dementors are supposed to drain a wizard of his powers if he is left with them too long...."

"you made that dementor on the train back off," said harry suddenly. "there are -- certain defences one can use," said lupin. "but there was only one dementor on the train. the more there are, the more difficult it becomes to resist."

"what defences?" said harry at once. "can you teach me?"

"i don't pretend to be an expert at fighting dementors, harry, quite the contrary..."

"but if the dementors come to another quidditch match, i need to be able to fight them --"

lupin looked into harry's determined face, hesitated, then said, "well... all right. i'll try and help. but it'll have to wait until next term, i'm afraid. i have a lot to do before the holidays. i chose a very inconvenient time to fall ill."

and so the two left the classroom, harry's spirits lifted but the thought that he might never have to hear his mother's death again, and the fact that ravenclaw flattened hufflepuff in their quidditch match at the end of november.

gryffindor were not out of the running after all, although they could not afford to lose another match. wood became repossessed of his manic energy, and worked his team as hard as ever in the chilly haze of rain that persisted into december. y/n saw no hint of a dementor within the grounds. dumbledore's anger seemed to be keeping them at their stations at the entrances.

two weeks before the end of the term, the sky lightened suddenly to a dazzling, opaline white and the muddy grounds were revealed one morning covered in glittering frost. inside the castle, there was a buzz of christmas in the air. professor flitwick, the charms teacher, had already decorated his classroom with shimmering lights that turned out to be real, fluttering fairies. the students were all happily discussing their plans for the holidays. both ron and hermione had decided to remain at hogwarts, and though ron said it was because he couldn't stand two weeks with percy, and hermione insisted she needed to use the library, harry wasn't fooled; they were doing it to keep him company, and he was very grateful.

however, harry had not really spoken to y/n for a while, unless it was in passing; she woke up late most of the time and left for her dorm as soon as classes were over, sometimes leaving her dorm for dinner before retiring back to the room. harry wondered what was going on with her, because, according to hermione, she wasn't speaking to anyone very much. 

so, when harry saw no y/n at dinner, on friday night, he decided to eat his dinner quickly and head back to the dorms, to see if he could talk to her.

y/n, of course, had no idea about any of this, and was instead sat in her dorm, trying to figure out what she had done on the quidditch pitch. she had not realised her detachment from her friends, and instead worked herself, tirelessly to bring back the silvery light, or dust, or whatever it was.

and miraculously, tonight was the night it worked. 

she relaxed herself, rid all thoughts from her mind, layed out her hands, and focused on the fear she felt, when she saw harry dropping thousands of feet from the sky.

a ball of silver energy formed in her hands, glittering like the stars at night. 

unfortunately, harry decided to walk in right then, and stood at the door, shell - shocked.

y/n's eyes went wide, and she nervously laughed, "harry! fancy seeing you here..."

"what the actual- ? this is what you've been doing? you could've told us! i- we were so worried about you..." 

the silver glow dissipated. welp there goes her hard work. 

"sorry.. i didn't want to say anything until i had gotten it." she winced.

"gotten what exactly?" harry said, walking into the room and closing the door behind him.

"so i don't really work the way i used to - i mean, i thought i was going crazy when i my boggart turned into that silvery liquid i saw in mcgonagalls classroom. and then the match happened, and i'd never done anything like it before. it was this big thing that changed my own view of myself, because if i could save you then, and i learnt it properly, you'd never be hurt. not whilst i'm around anyways."

y/n fiddle with the edge of her duvet.

"y/n, you are my best friend. you don't need to hide from me. i'll even help!" he told her. "have you been to dumbledore? he might be able to help."

y/n scoffed. "dumbledore was no help, i went to see him that sunday you were in the hospital wing. he was super secretive and started talking about this prophecy about some kid destroying the world."

"oh... he's usually pretty helpful." harry frowned.

"yeah, probably only for you. how'd you get into my dorm?"

---

to everyone's delight except harry's, there was to be another hogsmeade trip on the very last weekend of the term.

"we can do all our christmas shopping there!" said hermione. "mum and dad would really love those toothflossing stringmints from honeydukes!"

resigned to the fact that he would be the only third year staying behind again, which y/n made sure to remind him once again that it was his fault because she totally could've stayed behind if he wasn't such an ass, harry borrowed a copy of 'which broomstick' from wood, and decided to spend the day reading up on the different makes. 

y/n and hermione woke at a reasonable hour that day, getting ready in warm clothes- it was snowing. y/n straightened her hair again because apparently "winter is for killing hair". she was in fact scolded by hermione for this to which she responded with an enticing offer to her bestfriend.

"i love your natural hair mione, but, you know, if you'd just let me do your hair, you'd understand why i love it so much!"

"not a chance in hell." hermione sneered.

y/n switched off the plum and silver coloured straightener, making sure to unplug it, and she got up from the vanity, snatching up her bag, as hermione stood at the door, ready to leave.

the duo exited the room and walked to the entrance hall, where they were met with the rest of the students going on the excursion, spotting ron's fiery hair among the lot.

the three friends trod through the snow,  until they finally reached the small village. 

"where to first?" y/n questioned. "i thought we might start in honeydukes... i wanted to get something for harry."

"yeah! i heard they had a new line of chocolate coming out! we should definitely go because...well, i love sweets and i bet they taste like heaven...mum never lets us buy anything nice- only when fred and george are being good and, you know, it's not very often..." ron rambled slightly as hermione and y/n glanced at each other.

the three trekked further through the thick, white snow, minds and hearts set on the shop, 'honeydukes'. it wasn't long before they were in the sop, christmas carols playing faintly in the background as they browsed through the jars of sweet treats lined up on the shelves, the colours swirling in a blur.

y/n moved straight to her favourite chocolate bar and picked up three (she needed backups for rainy days and one was for her to share with harry)

"guys, what do you think harry would like?"  y/n questioned, fishing out some mango gummies from a jar and dropping it into a red and white striped honeydukes packet.

there were shelves upon shelves of the most succulent-looking sweets to choose from. creamy chunks of nougat, shimmering pink squares of coconut ice, fat, honey-coloured toffees; hundreds of different kinds of chocolate in neat rows; there was a large barrel of every flavor beans, and another of fizzing whizbees, the levitating sherbert balls that ron had mentioned; along yet another wall were "special effects" -- sweets: droobles best blowing gum (which filled a room with bluebell-colored bubbles that refused to pop for days), the strange, splintery tooth-flossing stringmints, tiny black pepper imps ("breathe fire for your friends!"), ice mice ("hear your teeth chatter and squeak!"), peppermint creams shaped like toads ("hop realistically in the stomach!"), fragile sugar-spun quills, and exploding bonbons.

y/n picked up five of the plum coloured sugar quills and tossed them into her packet, ron and hermione standing next to her examining a tray of blood-flavored lollipops. 

"ugh, no, harry won't want one of those, they're for vampires, i expect," hermione said when y/n pointed at them with a questioning expression.

"how about these?" said ron, shoving a jar of cockroach clusters under hermione's nose.

y/n suddenly yelped at the sight of harry, before he had even spoken.

"definitely not," said harry. ron nearly dropped the jar. 

"harry!" squealed hermione. "what are you doing here? how -- how did you--?"

"wow!" said ron, looking very impressed, "you've learned to apparate!"

"'course i haven't," said harry. he dropped his voice so that none of the sixth years could hear him and told them all about the marauder's map.

"how come fred and george never gave it to me!" said ron, outraged. "i'm their brother!"

"but harry isn't going to keep it!" said hermione, as though the idea were ludicrous. "he's going to hand it in to professor mcgonagall, aren't you, harry?" 

"no, I'm not!" said harry.

"are you mad?" said ron, goggling at hermione. "hand in something that good?"

y/n nods, "sorry to say mione, but it's a pretty brilliant item... who knows what trouble it could get us out of... and merlin knows we get into trouble."

"if i hand it in, i'll have to say where i got it! filch would know fred and george had nicked it!"

"but what about sirius black?" hermione hissed. "he could be using one of the passages on that map to get into the castle! the teachers have got to know!"

"he can't be getting in through a passage," said harry quickly. "there are seven secret tunnels on the map, right? fred and george reckon filch already knows about four of them. and of the other three -- one of them's caved in, so no one can get through it. one of them's got the whomping willow planted over the entrance, so you can't get out of it. and the one i just came through -well - - it's really hard to see the entrance to it down in the cellar, so unless he knew it was there..." harry hesistated.

"that wouldn't matter anyways because he can't get past the shop to the cellar without getting noticed." y/n pointed out.

ron cleared his throat significantly, and pointed to a notice pasted on the inside of the sweetshop door.

-------- BY ORDER OF -------- 

THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC

Customers are reminded that until further notice, dementors will be patrolling the streets of Hogsmeade every night after sundown. This measure has been put in place for the safety of Hogsmeade residents and will be lifted upon the recapture of Sirius Black. It is therefore advisable that you complete your shopping well before nightfall. Merry Christmas!

"see?" said ron quietly. "i'd like to see black try and break into honeydukes with dementors swarming all over the village. anyway, hermione, the honeydukes owners would hear a break-in, wouldn't they? they live over the shop!"

 "exactly! that's exactly what i'm saying!" y/n exclaimed.

"yes, but but --" hermoine seemed to be struggling to find another problem. "look, harry still shouldn't be coming into hogsmeade. he hasn't got a signed form! if anyone finds out, he'll be in so much trouble! and it's not nightfall yet -- what if sirius black turns up today? now?"

"give the boy a break hermione, doesn't he deserve some fun?" y/n defended, not missing the grateful look harry shot her way.

"besides, he'd have a job spotting harry in this," said ron, nodding through the mullioned windows at the thick, swirling snow. "come on, hermione, it's christmas."

hermione bit her lip, looking extremely worried.

"are you going to report me?" harry asked her, flashing her the very grin y/n loved so much. wait, what?

"oh -- of course not -- but honestly, harry --"

"seen the fizzing whizbees, harry?" said ron, grabbing him and leading him over to their barrel. "and the jelly slugs? and the acid pops? fred gave me one of those when i was seven -- it burnt a hole right through my tongue. i remember mum walloping him with her broomstick." 

as ron showed harry round the sweets, hermione turns to y/n, a disapproving look plastered on her face. 

"he would've listened to you, y/n. you could've at least tried!" the girl exclaims.

"yeah, sure, except for the fact that i'm probably worse than harry, and that map is going to be great for me to use when i want to prank people...or sneak up on you or something." y/n says, waving the matter aside. "if harry makes sure he isn't misplacing it, everything will be fine."

when they had paid for all their sweets, the four of them left honeydukes for the blizzard outside.

y/n walked behind ron and hermione with harry. she pushes the honeydukes bag in her hand, into his chest, still walking. 

"here, you loser." she says, with a blank face. 

"awh, so you do love me! you know so, or else you wouldn't have bought me anything even though you know i'm pretty well off."

"since when were you such a smartass? or smart at all?" y/n grumbled in reply.

hogsmeade looked like a christmas card; the little thatched cottages and shops were all covered in a layer of crisp snow; there were holly wreaths on the doors and strings of enchanted candles hanging in the trees.

harry shivered; unlike the others , he didn't have his cloak. y/n took notice and decided that she did indeed love him, and gave up her scarf and gloves so he wasn't completely freezing.

 they headed up the street, heads bowed against the wind, ron and hermione shouting through their scarves.

"that's the post office.." 

"zonko's is up there --"

"we could go up to the shrieking shack-"

"tell you what," said ron, his teeth chattering, "shall we go for a butterbeer in the three broomsticks?"

harry was definitely more than willing; the wind was fierce and his hands were probably freezing, not mention he kept pulling y/n's hand so she would walk faster as they crossed the road, and in a few minutes were entering the tiny inn.

it was extremely crowded, noisy, warm, and smoky. a curvy sort of woman with a pretty face was serving a bunch of rowdy warlock' up at the bar.

"that's madam rosmerta," said ron. "I'll get the drinks, shall I?" he starts going slightly red. 

the remaining three made their way to the back of the room to a small, vacant table between the window and a handsome christmas tree, which stood next to the fireplace. Ron came back five minuteslater, carrying three foaming tankards of hot butterbeer.

"merry christmas!" he said happily, raising his tankard.

y/n drank deeply. she's had it before but it was the most delicious thing she'd ever tasted and seemed to heat every bit of her from the inside.

the door of the three broomsticks had opened again. harry looked over the rim of his tankard and choked and for good reason too; professors mcgonagall and flitwick had just entered the pub with a flurry of snowflakes, shortly followed by hagrid, who was deep in conversation with a portly man in a lime-green bowler hat and a pinstriped cloak -- cornelius fudge.

as soon as y/n had clocked what was going on, she placed her hands on the top of harry's shoulders and forced him off his stool and under the table. then she realised he was dripping with butterbeer and crouching uncomfortably out of sight, so she switched out the empty tankard of the drink for her own so harry was now clutching her almost full butterbeer  and watching the teachers' and fudge's feet move toward the bar, pause, then turn and walk right toward him. hermione whispered, mobiliarbus!"

the christmas tree beside their table rose a few inches off the ground, drifted sideways, and landed with a soft thump right in front of their table, hiding them from view. 

the adults accommodated themselves at the table, removing their cloaks and setting their hats down on the table. their faces were red from the bitter, winter air. as they seat themselves, a witch comes over with a tray of drinks and starts handing them out.

 "a small gillywater --"

"mine," said mcgonagall's voice.

"four pints of mulled mead --"

"ta, rosmerta," said hagrid.

"a cherry syrup and soda with ice and umbrella --"

"mmm!" said flitwick, smacking his lips. y/n stifles a laugh.

"so you'll be the red currant rum, minister."

"thank you, rosmerta, m'dear," said fudge's voice. "lovely to see you again, i must say. have one yourself, won't you? come and join us...."

"well, thank you very much, minister."

y/n watched the glittering heels march away and back again. her heart was pounding uncomfortably in her throat. why hadn't it occurred to her that this was the last weekend of term for the teachers too and how long were they going to sit there? harry was right under the table and if they spotted him... y/n should've made him go back. 

she nervously moved her leg, but she froze completely when she felt harry's hand come to rest on her knee.

 "so, what brings you to this neck of the woods, minister?" came madam rosmerta's voice.

 y/n saw fudge's body twist in his chair as though he were checking for eavesdroppers. then he said in a quiet voice, "what else, m'dear, but sirius black? i daresay you heard what happened up at the school at halloween?"

"i did hear a rumor," admitted rosmerta.

"did you tell the whole pub, hagrid?" said mcgonagall exasperatedly.

"do you think black's still in the area, minister?" whispered rosmerta.

"i'm sure of it," said fudge shortly.

"you know that the dementors have searched the whole village twice?" said madam rosmerta, a slight edge to her voice. "scared all my customers away... it's very bad for business, minister."

"rosmerta, dear, i don't like them any more than you do," said fudge uncomfortably. "necessary precaution... unfortunate, but there you are.... i've just met some of them. they're in a fury against dumbledore-- he won't let them inside the castle grounds."

"i should think not," said professor mcgonagall sharply. "how are we supposed to teach with those horrors floating around?"

"hear, hear!" squeaked flitwick, whose feet were dangling a foot from the ground.

"all the same," demurred fudge, "they are here to protect you all from something much worse.... we all know what black's capable of..."

"do you know i still have trouble believing it," said rosmerta thoughtfully. "of all the people to go over to the dark side, sirius black was the last i'd have thought... i mean, i remember him when he was a boy at hogwarts. if you'd told me then what he was going to become, i'd have said you'd had too much mead."

"you don't know the half of it, rosmerta," said fudge gruffly. "the worst he did isn't widely known." 

"the worst?" said rosmerta, her voice alive with curiosity, "worse than murdering all those poor people, you mean?"

"i certainly do," said fudge.

"i cannot believe that. what could possibly be worse?" 

"you say you remember him at hogwarts, rosmerta," murmured mcgonagall."do you remember who his best friend was?"

"naturally," she said, with a small laugh. "never saw one without the other, did you? the number of times i had them in here --ooh, they used to make me laugh. quite the double act, sirius black and james potter!"

harry dropped y/n's half-full tankard with a loud clunk. y/n kicked him.

"precisely," said professor mcgonagall. "black and potter. ringleaders of their little gang. both very bright, of course -- exceptionally bright, in fact -- but i don't think we've ever had such a pair of troublemakers --"

"i dunno," chuckled hagrid. "fred and george weasley could give 'em a run for their money. or even y/n, singlehandedly..."

"you'd have thought black and potter were brothers!" chimed in flitwick. "inseparable!"

"of course they were," said fudge. "potter trusted black beyond all his other friends. nothing changed when they left school. black was best man when james married lily. then they named him godfather to harry. harry has no idea, of course. you can imagine how the idea would torment him. but it's not just harry that sirius has relations to."

"who else? and because black turned out to be in league with you-know-who?" whispered rosmerta.

fudge ignores her initial question.

"worse even than that, m'dear...." fudge dropped his voice and proceeded in a sort of low rumble. "not many people are aware that the potters knew you-know-who was after them. dumbledore, who was of course working tirelessly against you-know-who, had a number of useful spies. one of them tipped him off, and he alerted james and lily at once. he advised them to go into hiding. well, of course, you-know-who wasn't an easy person to hide from. dumbledore told them that their best chance was the fidelius Charm."

"how does that work?" said madam rosmerta, breathless with interest.

professor flitwick cleared his throat. "an immensely complex spell," he said squeakily, "involving the magical concealment of a secret inside a single, living soul. the information is hidden inside the chosen person, or secret-keeper, and is henceforth impossible to find -- unless, of course, the secret-keeper chooses to divulge it. as long as the secret-keeper refused to speak, you-know-who could search the village where lily and james were staying for years and never find them, not even if he had his nose pressed against their sitting room window!"

"so black was the potters' secret-keeper?" whispered madam rosmerta.

"naturally," said mcgonagall. "james potter told dumbledore that black would die rather than tell where they were, that black was planning to go into hiding himself... and yet, dumbledore remained worried. i remember him offering to be the potters' secret-keeper himself."

"he suspected black?" gasped rosmerta.

"he was sure that somebody close to the potters had been keeping you-know-who informed of their movements," said professor mcgonagall darkly. "indeed, he had suspected for some time that someone on our side had turned traitor and was passing a lot of information to you-know-who."

"but james potter insisted on using black?"

"he did," said fudge heavily. "and then, barely a week after the fidelius charm had been performed --" 

"black betrayed them?" breathed rosmerta. 

"he did indeed. black was tired of his double-agent role, he was ready to declare his support openly for you-know-who, and he seems to have planned this for the moment of the potters' death. but, as we all know, you-know-who met his downfall in little harry potter. powers gone, horribly weakened, he fled. and this left black in a very nasty position indeed. his master had fallen at the very moment when he, black, had shown his true colours as a traitor. he had no choice but to run for it--"

"filthy, stinkin' turncoat!" hagrid said, so loudly that half the bar went quiet.

"shh!" said professor mcgonagall. 

"i met him!" growled hagrid. "i must've been the last to see him before he killed all them people! it was me what rescued harry from lily an' james's house after they was killed! jus' got him outta the ruins, poor little thing, with a great slash across his forehead, an' his parents dead... an' sirius black turns up, on that flyin' motorbike he used ter ride. never occurred ter me what he was doin' there. i didn' know he'd bin lily an' james's secret-keeper. thought he'd jus' heard the news o'you-know-who's attack an' come ter see what he could do. white an'shakin', he was. an' yeh know what i did? I COMFORTED THE MURDERIN'TRAITOR!" hagrid roared.

"hagrid, please!" mcgonagall pleaded. "keep your voice down!"

"how was i ter know he wasn' upset abou' lily an' james? it was you-know-who he cared abou'! an' then he says, 'give harry ter me, hagrid, i'm his godfather, i'll look after him --' ha! but i'd had me orders from dumbledore, an' i told black no, dumbledore said harry was ter go ter his aunt an' uncle's. black argued, but in the end he gave in. told me ter take his motorbike ter get harry there. 'i won't need it anymore,' he says."i shoulda known there was somethin' fishy goin' on then. he loved that motorbike, what was he givin' it ter me for? why wouldn' he need it anymore? fact was, it was too easy ter trace. dumbledore knew he'd bin the potters' secret-keeper. black knew he was goin' ter have ter run fer it that night, knew it was a matter o' hours before the ministry was after him.

"but what if i'd given harry to him, eh? i bet he'd've pitched him off the bike halfway out ter sea. his bes' friends' son! but when a wizard goes over ter the dark side, there's nothin' and no one that matters to em anymore...."

a long silence followed hagrid's story. then rosmerta said with some satisfaction, 

"but he didn't manage to disappear, did he? the ministry of magic caught up with him next day!"

"alas, if only we had," said fudge bitterly. "it was not we who found him. it was little peter pettigrew -- another of the potters' friends. maddened by grief, no doubt, and knowing that black had been the potters' secret-keeper, he went after black himself."

"pettigrew... that fat little boy who was always tagging around after them at hogwarts?" asked rosmerta.

"hero-worshipped black and potter," said professor mcgonagall. "never quite in their league, talent-wise. i was often rather...harp with him. you can imagine how i -how i regret that now..." she sounded as though she had a sudden head cold.

"there, now, minerva," said fudge kindly, "pettigrew died a hero's death. eyewitnesses -- muggles, of course, we wiped their, memories later -- told us how pettigrew cornered black. they say he was sobbing, 'lily and james, sirius! how could you?' and then he went for his wand. well, of course, black was quicker. blew pettigrew to smithereens...."

mcgonagall blew her nose and said thickly, "stupid boy ...foolish boy... he was always hopeless at duelling... should have left it to the ministry...."

"i tell yeh, if i'd got ter black before little pettigrew did, i wouldn't've messed around with wands -- i'd've ripped him limb -- from-- limb," hagrid growled.

"you don't know what you're talking about, hagrid," said fudge sharply. "nobody but trained hit wizards from the magical law enforcement squad would have stood a chance against black once he was cornered. i was junior minister in the department of magical catastrophes at the time, and i was one of the first on the scene after black murdered all those people. i -- i will never forget it. i still dream about it sometimes. a crater in the middle of the street, so deep it had cracked the sewer below. bodies everywhere. muggles screaming. and black standing there laughing, with what was left of pettigrew in front of him... a heap of bloodstained robes and a few -- a few fragments --"

fudge's voice stopped abruptly. there was the sound of five noses being blown.

"well, there you have it, rosmerta," said fudge thickly. "black was taken away by twenty members of the magical law enforcement squad and pettigrew received the order of merlin, first class, which i think was some comfort to his poor mother. black's been in azkaban ever since."

rosmerta let out a long sigh. "and what about the other person you say black has relations with? who is it?"

mcgonagall spoke up again. "it seems awfully convenient that harry potter and y/n l/n have been best friends for so long. because, well y/n is a black. sirius black is, to this day, y/n l/n's uncle. though, i tell you this in confidence - i'm not sure even y/n knows who her father truly is. and not d/n l/n, i mean her true father..."

y/n's froze in shock. this was why hagrid told both her and harry off for visiting him after hours. this was why her father didn't want her to be alone at the start of the year. this was why her mother was being exceptionally cryptic.

one further question begged her mind to be solved. who was her dad?

"is it true black's mad, minister?" rosmerta asked after gasping.

"i wish i could say that he was," said fudge slowly. "i certainly believe his master's defeat unhinged him for a while. the murder of pettigrew and all those muggles was the action of a cornered and desperate man -- cruel... pointless. yet i met Black on my last inspection of azkaban. you know, most of the prisoners in there sit muttering to themselves in the dark; there's no sense in them... but i was shocked at how normal black seemed. he spoke quite rationally to me. it was unnerving. you'd have thought he was merely bored -- asked if i'd finished with my newspaper, cool as you please, said he missed doing the crossword. yes, i was astounded at how little effect the dementors seemed to be having on him -- and he was one of the most heavily guarded in the place, you know. dementors outside his door day and night."

"but what do you think he's broken out to do?" said rosmerta."good gracious, minister, he isn't trying to rejoin you-know-who, is he?"

"i daresay that is his -- er -- eventual plan," said fudge evasively. "but we hope to catch black long before that. i must say, you-know-who alone and friendless is one thing... but give him back his most devoted servant, and i shudder to think how quickly he'll rise again..."

there was a small chink of glass on wood. someone had set down their glass.

"you know, cornelius, if you're dining with the headmaster, you'd better head back up to the castle," said mcgonagall. 

one by one, the pairs of feet in front of them took the weight of their owners once more; hems of cloaks swung into sight, and rosmerta's glittering heels disappeared behind the bar. the door of the three broomsticks opened again, there was another flurry of snow, and the teachers had disappeared.

y/n slowly stood, brushing harry's hand off of her knee. she put her jacket back on and left. she rushed back to the castle, as fast as her legs could take her without bumping into the teachers and not make it look like she was running. when she finally reached the courtyard, she climbed up to the owlery. 

if her life was just turned upside down, she was not going to be the only one.

---

harry didn't have a very clear idea of how he had managed to get back into the honeydukes cellar, through the tunnel, and into the castle once more. all he knew was that the return trip seemed to take no time at all, and that he hardly noticed what he was doing, because his head was still pounding with the conversation he had just heard. why had nobody ever told him? 

dumbledore, hagrid, mr weasley, fudge... why hadn't anyone ever mentioned the fact that harry's parents had died because their best friend had betrayed them?

ron and hermione watched harry nervously all through dinner, not daring to talk about what they'd overheard, because percy was sitting close by them. y/n didn't show up.

when they went upstairs to the crowded common room, it was to find fred and george had set off half a dozen dungbombs in a fit of end of term high spirits. harry, who didn't want fred and george asking him whether he'd reached hogsmeade or not, sneaked quietly up to the empty dormitory and headed straight for his bedside cabinet. 

he pushed his books aside and quickly found what he was looking for -- the leather-bound photo album hagrid had given him two years ago, which was full of wizard pictures of his mother and father. he sat down on his bed, drew the hangings around him, and started turning the pages, searching, until...he stopped on a picture of his parents' wedding day. 

there was his father waving up at him, beaming, the untidy black hair harry had inherited standing up in all directions. there was his mother, alight with happiness, arm in arm with his dad. and there ... that must be him. their best man... harry had never given him a thought before.

if he hadn't known it was the same person, he would never have guessed it was black in this old photograph. his face wasn't sunken and waxy, but handsome, full of laughter. had he already been working for voldemort when this picture had been taken? was he already planning the deaths of the two people next to him? did he realize he was facing twelve years in azkaban, twelve years that would make him unrecognizable?

but the dementors don't affect him, harry thought, staring into the handsome, laughing face. 

harry slammed the album shut, reached over and stuffed it back into his cabinet, took off his robe and glasses and got into bed, making sure the hangings were hiding him from view. the dormitory door opened.

"harry?" said ron's voice uncertainly. but harry still, pretending to be asleep. he heard ron leave again, and rolled over on his back, his eyes wide open.

harry replied the moment in the pub again and again. until someone else entered the room. they didn't make to call out to him, but harry could tell they were there for him. they footsteps continued until they were around his bed. the hangings were pulled back and y/n's face came to view. emotionless, but harry could tell from her eyes that she was distraught. 

gods how could he have been so stupid? this affected y/n just as much as it did him. he held out her arms to her, and she slumped into them, the weight of the day gaining on both of them.

---

harry hadn't gotten to sleep until daybreak. he had awoken to find the dormitory deserted, dressed, and gone down the spiral staircase to a common room that was completely empty except for ron, who was eating a peppermint toad and massaging his stomach, and hermione, who had spread her homework over three tables.

"where is everyone?" said harry.

"gone! it's the first day of the holidays, remember?" said ron, watching harry closely. "it's nearly lunchtime; i was going to come and wake you up in a minute."

harry slumped into a chair next to the fire. snow was still falling outside the windows. crookshanks was spread out in front of the fire like a large, ginger rug.

"where's y/n?" harry enquired. unless he dreamt it, y/n had slept with him last night.

"she's still up in her dorm. she came back really early this morning. i don't suppose you know where she was do you?" hermione raised an eyebrow.

"yeah... she was with me." said harry. "she won't talk to us for ages now you know."

"harry, listen," said hermione, exchanging a look with ron. "you must be really upset about what we heard yesterday. but the thing is, you mustn't go doing anything stupid."

"like what?" said harry.

"like trying to go after black," said ron sharply.

harry could tell they had rehearsed this conversation while he had been asleep. he didn't say anything. 

"you won't, will you, harry?" said hermione.

"because black's not worth dying for," said ron.

harry looked at them. they didn't seem to understand at all.

"d'you know what i see and hear every time a dementor gets too near me?"

ron and hermione shook their heads, looking apprehensive. 

"i can hear my mum screaming and pleading with voldemort. and if you'd heard your mum screaming like that, just about to be killed, you wouldn't forget it in a hurry. and if you found out someone who was supposed to be a friend of hers betrayed her and sent voldemort after her --"

"there's nothing you can do!" said hermione, looking stricken. "the dementors will catch black and he'll go back to azkaban and -- and serve him right!"

"you heard what fudge said. black isn't affected by azkaban like normal people are. it's not a punishment for him like it is for the others."

"so what are you saying?" said ron, looking very tense. "you want to --to kill black or something?"

"don't be silly," said hermione in a panicky voice. "harry doesn't want to kill anyone, do you, harry?"

"malfoy knows," he said abruptly. "remember what he said to me in potions? 'if it was me, i'd hunt him down myself... i'd want revenge.'"

"you're going to take malfoy's advice instead of ours?" said ron furiously. "listen... you know what pettigrew's mother got back after black had finished with him? dad told me -- the order of merlin, first class, and pettigrew's finger in a box. that was the biggest bit of him they could find. black's a madman, harry, and he's dangerous --"

"malfoy's dad must have told him," said harry, ignoring ron. "he was right in voldemort's inner circle --"

"say you-know-who, will you?" interjected ron angrily.

"-- so obviously, the malfoys knew black was working for voldemort --"

"-- and malfoy'd love to see you blown into about a million pieces, like pettigrew! get a grip. malfoy's just hoping you'll get yourself killed before he has to play you at quidditch."

"harry, please," said hermione, her eyes now shining with tears, "please be sensible. black did a terrible, terrible thing, but d-don't put yourself in danger, it's what black wants.... oh, harry, you'd be playing right into black's hands if you went looking for him. your mum and dad wouldn't want you to get hurt, would they? they'd never want you to go looking for black!"

"i'll never know what they'd have wanted, because thanks to black, i've never spoken to them," said harry shortly.

there was a silence in which y/n had finally shown up, creeping down the stairs in joggers and a tank top, and holding a coat in her hands, whilst tying her hair up into a ponytail, clearly also just woken up. 

"harry has every right to be mad and you two know it. you can't expect him to not want revenge after what he's been through. harry, this is not me saying you should go looking to kill black, but you're allowed to feel." y/n says continuing on with a sort of dangerous tone in her voice, finishing doing her hair and flopping down onto the sofa next to them. "but there are fates worse than death, and what goes around comes around; black will get what he deserves, i promise."

ron's pocket quivered. harry offered a small smile to y/n, who's lips lifted in return. she was clearly more through with what they had found out.

"look," said ron, obviously casting around for a change of subject, "it's the holidays! it's nearly christmas! let's -- let's go down and see hagrid. we haven't visited him for ages!"

"no!" said hermione quickly. "harry isn't supposed to leave the castle, ron- and i don't think y/n should either--"

y/n quirked an eyebrow. "it's broad daylight hermione, nothing is going to happen."

"yeah, let's go," said harry, sitting up, "and i can ask him how come he never mentioned black when he told me all about my parents!"

further discussion of sirius black plainly definitely wasn't what ron had had in mind.

"or we could have a game of chess," he said hastily, "or gobstones. percy left a set --"

"no, let's visit hagrid," said harry firmly.

so the three got their cloaks from their dormitories as y/n waited in the common room, having already brought down her fur hooded coat, and set off through the portrait hole, down through the empty castle and out through the oak front doors.

a/n - 

hello my lovely readers, it has been a while. but alas gcses are over and i had no excuse. this is an extremely long one so i hope it was worth the wait. or at least somewhat there. 

i have just finished editing all the chapters over again, so i do recommend reading them over, i toned down harry and y/n a bit- they're thirteen and i was getting ahead of myself. i don't fully remember but i think i altered some stuff about y/n and her powers too, so defo give them a read if you have time. if not... be confused in the future i guess?

i'm like three weeks into summer holidays and already bored out of my mind so someone give me stuff do that doesn't include talking to boys or spending money- i'm trying to save up to buy an ipad or something.

also i saw lana del rey live last week - literally life changing and now i'm buying tickets for isabel larosa i cannot resist. also addison rae was crazy good too i love her so so much.

fight me on this one if you wish but addison has literally become one of the best new artists recently.

love from, me!

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