"Sally?! Is that really you?" I ask as I lower the barrel of my weapon and quickly embrace the woman who took me in for the school year

"Yes Percy it is" she says smiling while Marcaria tugged on my sleeve before pointing to the end of the room

There sat a man with pale skin and onyx eyes, his long hair cascaded over his shoulders as he fixed me with an angry glare. He was wearing a suit with what looked like tormented souls screaming as the fabric drug them back into whatever hell awaited them. He had a bident in his hand as my eyes trailed up to his head where expected a crown to be.

There was a crown... but it was of black and white flowers. The item itself ruined the whole experience and I smiled.

'Yeah, totally a 9-5 man' I think to myself as I walk up and give a bow

"Hello Hades" I say calmly looking him in the eyes which threaten to pull me in

I watch as his eye twitches as I faintly hear both Marcaria and Sally hold their breath.

"Hello nephew, I see you made it safely to my domain despite the challenges placed before you" he said with a controlled tone of voice

"I did, I do have to thank your daughter Marcaria for vouching for me at the entrance. I do have a few questions though, first did you send the walking Beef Patty after me? And second..." I take a deep breath "Is Hitler like actually your child? All the myths point to you being a loving husband who has a wonderful wife and a dog! There is no way in the seven hells that Hitler is your child" I spouted causing the room to go quiet as Hades narrowed his eyes at me

I match his gaze causing him to nod and sit back with the satisfied smile, however slight it may be.

"No I did not send that monster after you, it is precisely why I had Marcaria save Sally here. And no, he is not my true biological child, I was forced to accept that condition as to appease my brothers fears, I have gifted my powers and adopted several children into my house, with Persephone's approval of course." He explained exasperated "Thank the fates your not conceded like your siblings, constantly assuming things" he said with a nod as he stood up and walked over to me

"Now, I assume you came here to bring your care taker back correct?" He asked while putting a hand on my shoulder

"Yes, I already know the risks and I won't fail this" I say resolutely but he shakes his head

"No need for that, she's alive after all. No I ask for you to find my helmet, it was stolen at the summer solstice and I've been unable to track down the culprit. I also sense you've been around it recently" he says which jogs my memory

I reach into my pocket and pull out the beanie and hand it over to him.

"This was originally a helmet that Ares had on his bike. I doubt he actually stole it, since he has about as much common sense as a fresh faced fuzzy straight outta basic so it would have had to been someone else" I joke causing Hades to crack a smile

"Yes this mine, thank you nephew. In return I shall show you whats been happening while you've been down here and in that hotel" he said as he snapped his fingers causing a rainbow to appear and a news reel to show up

"We are currently still looking for the two children that Percy Jackson has kidnapped cross country. They were last spotted at a diner in Utah. He is armed and dangerous and is suspected of the murder of his foster mother Sally Jackson." The reel said and I felt my anger flare as I saw the fat walrus appear

"He stole my car, killed my girlfriend and now he plans to kill those two kids, I tried to talk to him before he left but he threatened me with a gun" the walrus said and I took a deep breath through my nose

"He's dead" I declared but Hades held up his hand

"It seems Ares has been manipulating the mist to make it seem your the enemy. He will most likely try to finish the plan with you being killed" he said with a look at me "I can send the Kindly ones in your place and you will be safe in my domain"

"Please Percy, you can't fight a god" Marcaria and Sally both plead with me as I clench my fist

"No, if he bleeds, then I can kill him" I spit as I look at Hades "If I may ask, can I get a can of Coppenhagen Wintergreen longcut"

Hades stares at me confused before creating a familiar can. I smack it a few times as I pack the chewing tobacco. I then crack the can and put a thick clump into my lip.

"P-Percy?" Sally asks but I shake my head

"I'll need this to keep a cool head" I say as I check my ammunition

Once I finish I turn around and start walking towards the exit when I feel a hand on my arm.

"I'll send you back to the surface, it'll be a beach so you'll have the home field advantage, and remember he's the god of war, it'll be a hard fight my champion" Marcaria said but I shrug

"I'm not a son of Poseidon, I'm a child of Tenth Mountain" I announce causing Hades to let out a wide grin

"You chose a very worthy champion Marcaria" He said as he turned to Sally "I'll send you back to your home so you can fix these issues, Alecto will be with you as well"

At that Marcaria waved her hand and I felt my body rocket forward at what felt like face ripping speeds. Dark nightmare horrors reached out and threatened to attack me but I whipped past them and found my boots touching sand.

I looked around as I spit out a wad of brown saliva and spotted a familiar man with sunglasses leaning back in a beach chair. Next to him was a woman who seemed to shift to try to be the perfect woman. I scowled as I kicked sand at the man.

"Hey, god of child temper tantrums, you think you could get away with slandering me nation wide?" I growled "My fame was supposed to be from exorcizing demons and ghosts, not because some asshole was salty his little trick didn't work"

The moment I started talking he sat up and glared at me with an unholy fury.

"Kid, after all I did for you this is how you treat me?" He shot back as he summoned an M240B "I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson about respecting your elders"

I flick my selector switch to semi auto and sneer at him.

"Elders are only to be respected if they have wisdom to pass down, otherwise they're just relics of a past that no one wants" I responded as we stared each other down for a few moments until we both raised our weapons

I shot a single round between his legs as he went cyclic and peppered the ground between us with bullets.

I dived behind a small dune as I watched as he kept firing the machine gun.

"Normally I'd ask if you wanted your beating to be classic or modern but I'm confident I already know your answer" he laughed

I returned a few shots which were stopped by a barrier of sorts causing Ares to laugh more.

"Come on you talked such a big game, don't tell me your scared now" he said as his weapon jammed

I launched up and flicked the switch to full auto before emptying the mag at Ares, hitting him in the chest the barrier protecting him but knocking him back. I then dropped the weapon and pulled the pen I got from the attic and Uncapped it intending to puncture his eyes.

However as soon as the cap came off, a bronze blade appeared shocking me for a moment which allowed Ares to recover and pull a broadsword out and swing at me.

"Not usually my style to switch types but I'll make a special exception for you" he spat

I looked up at him and spit a wad of dip into his face. The action stunned the god of war before forcing him to release a surge of energy. I was flung across the sand, small cuts opening on my body from shells and trash that littered the beach. As I stood up I saw his arm become bloody as scars littered his face, his burning eyes like nuclear warheads. His chest was rent open by sword strikes and blood dripped from his mouth.

"I'll burn you alive maggot" he spat but I just spit the dip I had in out and lit a cigarette

"Come and try, you'll fail, like all the others" I said with a daring look at him

Ares charged forward with unbridled violence, his eyes focused purely on me. I laughed as I dug the tip of the sword into the sand and flung it into his eyes. I then dove to the right and pulled my pistol out firing the whole mag into his back.

Ares whirled around nearly foaming at the mouth as I threw my pistol to the ground and pointed the blade at him.

"My name is Percy Jackson exorcist of the secret order and I hereby cleanse you of your filthy rotten soul. You foul demon who preys on the weak, I shall cast you back to whence you came! By the power of Buddha be within you! Or something" I shouted mockingly at Ares as he rushed forward like a wild animal

I threw the sword up into the air and as his eyes traveled with it I threw my knife into his forehead but he didn't stop. As he continued his charge a different person seemingly materialized and grabbed his shoulder, shot me a thumbs up and vanished all in the span of a moment. I caught the sword and stared at where they both were.

"Okay...?" I said as I shook my head letting out a heavy sigh as the anger and adrenaline leaves my body

I stab the sword into the sand and move to collect my weapons. I cringe as I pick up the weapons that are covered in sand and brush as much off before holstering my pistol and slinging my rifle. It was at that moment I noticed police vehicles and reporters running up to me.

"Halt! Are you Percy Jackson?" An officer yelled as he reached m

"Yeah that's me" I said with apprehensive look

"We would like your testimony on Gabe Ugliano in the kidnapping of Sally Jackson, yourself and two others. It was recently found that both you and Sally Jackson had gone missing the same day, and that he has a history of Alcohol and drug abuse. You were given to the man at the diner to preform tasks to keep your foster mother Alive is that correct?" The officer asked and I took a moment to respond

'The hell? Well when facts come out people change attitudes on a dime' I thought glumly to myself "Yeah, thats correct, he always attempted to hit Sally but I had enough. Please tell me she's safe" I said putting in the airs of a confused and scared teen

"Sally is safe and sound in her house and your two friends made it safely to their house" the officer explained causing me to smile "Is there anything we can do to help"

"N-No I can handle myself, I just want to go home" I said with fake stammer causing the reporters to stop asking questions before doing their own thing for a moment

This lasted another hour or so before I was able to escape. I walked up to Ares' motorcycle and started searching the saddlebags, eventually finding a smashed down backpack that held a cylinder that had a thick layer of mist on it.

After looking through the mist I saw that it was a spear that had pulsed with electrical power. I nodded to myself as I put the item back into the bag and swung it over my back.

"That matches the description of a 'Master bolt'" I said to myself as I pulled out my phone and quickly tried to find where DOA recording studios was

"Honey, I believe this is yours" A familiar voice said

I whipped around and saw the leather hag demon grinning as she stood next to my vehicle.

"Mrs. Dodds, and here I thought I exorcized you" I said with a grin causing her to scowl

"You got lucky, I won't let myself be defeated that easily again" she shot back but I sneered

"That's what they all say, but yes, I thank you for getting my truck back, I really didn't want to walk" I said as she tossed my keys to me

I caught them and climbed into the driver's seat.

"Well that sure is a shame, anyway, Lord Hades has obtained your phone number, if he needs anything hopefully he can count on you to get it done" she said and I shrugged

"Doesn't make much of a difference to me. So long as it doesn't interfere too much with my life" I responded as I turned the vehicle on and drove away

I turned on the Radio and listened to the news which was covering the whole story about me and my misadventures. I chuckled until my phone rang. I picked it up and saw that Franks was calling me, grinning, I answered it.

"Hello, this is Percy's Exorcism, where we all demons both physical and metaphoric are banished to the underworld. This is Father Percy speaking, how may I help you?" I spouted all too calmly

"Percy! You little shit! What the hell is going on over there!? I just got a call from White saying that your truck was gone then spotted across the country! Fighting kidnappers being a kidnapper and a potential killer!!" Franks screamed at me causing me to laugh slightly

"Mate you would not believe me even if I told you. Some wild shit has been going down and yours truly is the best problem solver known to humankind!" I responded

We talked for the better part of two hours. Mostly about how I should do better at not causing chaos. I only promised him I would try and nothing more. We then moved onto the topic of his new duty station and how it was fucking cold, and how his wife was going to be expecting a kid soon.

"So little man, have you found a girl yet? Your getting around that age" he asked and I could hear a grin on his face

"Well now that you mention it, I did meet a cutie, fiesty too" I said with a smirk as I saw someone appear in my vehicle

"Oh what's her name?" He asked genuinely surprised

"Zoe Nightshade, quite the looker and she could even kick my ass" I said calmly but I heard the sound of choking on the other side of the phone "Hey man you good over there?" I asked with a laugh as the man chuckled

"Y-Yeah I'm fine, just be careful Percy. I have to go, was just told I have to pick up a soldier from the police station" he said before he hung up

"Damn, I wonder what that guy did to surprise even Franks" I said to the passenger who just gave a wry smile

"No clue cuz" he said leaning back "So how was your country road trip?" He asked calmly

"Pretty fun, met some new friends. Though I do have to ask, who are you" I raised an eyebrow at him

"Fair, I'm your godly cousin Hermes! Messenger of the Gods" he announced and I nodded slightly

"Meeting a lot of those recently, who's next, the great deadbeat father who sired me?" I said with an edge to my tone that made him frown slightly

"Perseus you have to know..." he starts but I shake my head

"Don't try to defend him. I'm not entirely mad that he never visited, cause I know how difficult it can be to get on base. No, I'm passed that I have these powers and the only manifested NOW of all times. I couldn't have gotten a letter saying 'Hey, have you ever wanted to control water? Well you can!'... I could have saved people... good people that didn't need to experience what they did" I said looking at him "Ya get me?"

"That's... understandable. So you're not angry with him not being in your life?" He asked sheepishly

"No, cause I have a family who cares very much about me. And I do not regret ever meeting them" I finished looking at Hermes to see him sigh in relief

"Good. I have another question, about that backpack, do you think I could take it back to my father?" He asked but I shook my head

"I am under a request to return it myself. Not saying I don't trust you, but I can't be entirely sure that it gets back unless I hand deliver it. You know how it is" I say causing him to nod slightly "but if you want to speed up the delivery, I'm all for some godly magic use" I suggested causing him to chuckle slightly

"Well, I guess it does benefit us both" he concluded as he summoned a staff and tapped it against the floorboards

In the next instant, the world ripped around us and suddenly I was in front of the Empire state building.

I slammed on the breaks, the screeching causing me to wince slightly.

"Thank you Cuz" I said as I parked, grabbed the bag and climbed out. "Well, shall we make our first joint delivery?"

He jumped out of the vehicle and together we walked up to the empire state building.

"I have to say, was not expecting Zeus to live in New York. Was expecting something more..." I started to say before I looked up "The hell! How have I never seen that before!!" my shocked voice reached his ears causing him to look at me curiously

"You can see Olympus?" He asked as we walked in and up to the guard who immediately passed Hermes something

"Yeah, can't everyone, wait, it was covered in that Mist stuff so I guess normal people can't" I surmised

"Nah, not even demigods see it, you'd be the first" he said as we got into the elevator and he hit the 600th floor

As we went up I groaned at the elevator music, equating it to the worst experience I ever had. Eventually the doors opened to a beautiful city, with white pillars, gods, nymphs, and satyrs all milling around and talking.

"Seriously though, first impressions matter, don't do the normal elevator music, shit gets old man. Yall gotta spice it up a bit." I suggested to Hermes

"I'll bring it up with management, cause I have to agree after going through it myself, that was not fun" he grumbled as we strode down the streets the various gods bowing to Hermes as he passed by.

Eventually we made it to a set of large double doors. Hermes stopped me and looked me directly in the eyes.

"Alright Perce, you have to be respectful alright? Don't anger Zeus after you give him the bolt" he warned and I nodded

"Of course, anger the man who throws lightning, got it" I said with a sly grin causing him to blink before he sighed giving up faster than most

"Yeah, that. Anyway, are you ready to meet the council?" He asked to which I nodded

He opened the door and we walked in. He teleported to his throne and I walked to the center and knelt. Every seat was filled, most were bored while others who noticed my presence watched with wry amusement. There was also Ares. He was angry. I didn't care.

The large white bearded man was yelling at a man in a Bahamas shirt. Arguing about the bolt or something, I tuned it out with practiced ease. Treating them like new Lieutenants who had visits from the good idea fairies. Eventually the woman next to Zeus tapped him on the shoulder causing him to pause and look around, finally noticing me.

"Who is this?" His voice Thundered

"I am Percy Jackson, I have a delivery for Lord Zeus" I said as I pulled off the bag and produced the master bolt

"I... I see, that was expedient, but why didn't Hermes bring it?" He looked at the mentioned god who just gave a wry smile

"He was concerned about the package arriving. So he took it upon himself to deliver it personally" Hermes explained causing Zeus to look back at me thoughtfully

"Very good, after I got the report that it was my own son that had stolen my bolt, I too had doubts about who I could trust" he said while glaring at Ares "Perseus Jackson, you did well in returning me my weapon" he said

"Of course milord" I said from my kneeling position "May I ask to be excused?" I asked acting politely only because Hermes asked and I felt like it'd be the fastest way to get out of here

"You may" Zeus said with a nod

With that, I swiftly stood up, took a good hard look at the man in the Bahamas shirt then turned and walked away.

"Brother..." I heard the man say but I sped up before I could be called back

I exited the throne room and once the doors closed, I bolted for the exit. No way in hell was I going to be trapped in that throne room with giants staring down at me.

However, before I could reach the doors, a young girl with Auburn hair blocked my path. She held a silver knife and had her arms crossed.

I slowed to a stop and tried to move around the girl. However she just glared at me.

"Perseus, mind telling me what exactly happened at that... amusement park?" She asked icily

"I... I don't know what your talking about milady" I said noticing that this little girl was most definitely not just a girl

Like Charion she had a misty form behind her, one that radiated power and looked ready to kill me.

"Well, I saw part of Hephestus' little prank video. And it so happened to have my lieutenant present in it. Now she refuses to elaborate on what exactly happened so I have no choice but to turn to the male in the video for answers" she said coldly playing with her knife

"Well, we met at the park, and she tried to kill me. In self defense I pushed her back and she fell into the ride. Realizing something was wrong I tried to pull her out, but I became stuck as well. We teamed up to take out the majority of the cameras in the trap then when we escaped we fought some giant mechanical spiders. In thanks she let me live" I said omitting a few points

She thought for a moment before nodding.

"That mostly lines up with what she told me, minus the getting trapped part. Thank you, Perseus, for informing me. It seems I need to inform her not to recklessly kill males again." She said putting her knife away

I let out a breath of relief only to freeze up as I saw her staring at me.

"Is there anything else you need, Lady Artemis?" I asked concerned

"No, you may leave, I already put my 'contact info' in your phone, if I have a need for an 'Exorcist' I'll be sure to call you first... 'Father'" she said with an evil smirk as she vanished

I felt my life span shortened by twenty years as I climbed into the elevator and hit the ground floor button a bit harder than I meant to. I then prayed to Marcaria to protect me. But only felt an amused giggle enter my head.

Eventually I made it back to my vehicle and headed back to Sally's apartment. I parked, walked up to the door, and opened it with the keys I took off of the tub of lard.

"'Mom' I'm home!" I announced

"Percy! How did you get back so soon!? And you actually won your fight!??" She asked and I smiled

"I'm just Awesome like that. Go ahead you may praise me" I said pompously causing her to drive her knuckles into my head

"Don't get all high and mighty with me mister!" She said before she hugged me tight

I felt a rush of emotions as I hugged her back. Over the course of a few months she had turned from a foster parent to a real one, a real mother I could turn to for advice and would always make sure I stayed safe.

I vowed right then and there, that if anyone hurt her again, I'd kill them slowly.

We talked for a while over a new recipe she had made. It was Waffles, but surprisingly they were blue. Apparently she wanted to surprise me with blue food and I couldn't complain. They were damn good.

We chatted about everything that had happened and how a day or two after the attack I immediately went in search of her. She called me reckless and a fool, but I felt the pride in her voice as she scolded me. I ended up staying the night and in the morning, I packed up some blue Brownies (not the ambrosia kind) and started my drive back to camp.

Finally, I'd be able to get some rest after these last few hectic weeks.