There was no safer place for me than in his arms.

~writingRo~

Mia

My house was small. But it appeared smaller with Romano's presence. I watched him surreptitiously, trying to see everything through his eyes. 

I never felt the need for a big house; too much space would make me lonelier. I saw him come to a stop in front of a plant I had in a bottle, placed at the furthest corner of a bookcase to obscured it from direct sunlight. He looked at it for a long time, like the small plant in there had answers for cancer, sad look on his face.

I wondered what it was about that small plant brought that look on his face. He cleared his throat, tilting his head to my direction until the stare started to make me feel uneasy.

"I find this to be a representation of how you feel," he said, moving towards where I stood. I have never thought of it like that. I still didn't understand how a bottled plant could represent any part of me. He drew me into his body, the whiff of his cologne surrounding me like a beloved safe blanket as I nuzzled against him.  

"It stands at a corner, with no friend and away from its habitat. It is lonely, yet it's thriving" That is precisely how you are, Bella mia." He whispered, his arms holding me tight. It felt like he was comforting me.

"I have friends," I muttered, turning my face such that my right ear was pressed directly to his heart, the sound of it beating another reminder that I owed God for keeping him alive. 

He laughed at my childish excuse. "It's okay Bella, you'll always have me" my heart rejoiced at that, tears slipped down my face, not because of the words though they were also endearing, it was the way he said it. Like a declaration, a promise, an unbreakable vow. 

"I hate it when you cry" He leaned over my head, kissing my temple. I felt cherished, loved even though he hadn't said the words.

I was starting to feel like I belonged somewhere, in this man's arms. I was finally home, he was my home, and I wanted him to feel the same too. But I was also afraid. Terrified that I would always be his, but he'll never be mine. 

"Do you want some tea?" 

He chuckled, threading his fingers through my hair. No matter how many times this man chuckled, smiled, or laughed, I will love it every single time. 

"I thought you preferred coffee,"  his voice still had carried some laughter.  If there were a way I could have snuggled closer to him than I already was, I would have done it, but there was no more space. Our bodies were plastered together in harmony.

"I do, but I stopped buying it because it was keeping me awake at night." 

"Okay, what about whiskey, do you have any?" he asked with the certainty of a man who only went through doors that had his favorite drinks. 

I snorted. "I have never even tasted Whiskey," I said as I slipped out of his arms. "I have a beer can, though," I added, opening the fridge. "I don't think there is anything edible left in here" I had not heard him walk, but he was standing behind me. The skink of the fridge hitting us both as we exhaled at the same time. 

"But, the beer should be okay."

"I'm not drinking that, baby," he said in disgust, turning me around, and without hesitation, I leaned on his chest, and like every time I did this, my heart fluttered.

I love it here, I thought for the hundredth time. 

"Will you wait here while I take a shower?"  it was a plea, and it sounded as such. I knew he was a busy man, even though I wasn't exactly sure what he did for a living. He breathed in my hair right before he let me go. "I will wait," he said, walking back to the living room.

I waited until he was seated; I guess I was afraid he would leave the minute I turned my back. "I will always keep my promises, Bella. Always". The urgency in his voice told me he knew what I was thinking. He chose a seat next to the door, a reading chair I bought one Saturday morning during a garage sale in the neighborhood. He looked comfortably but out of place. 

"Thanks," I said shyly before walking out of the room.

My bedroom was in tatters; someone had shot my pillows, the stuffing was all over the place. My heart stopped for a breath, I was scared, I went back to three years ago in Marseille when I was helpless on the verge of being sold.

'Oh my god! I screamed. My heart hurt, my throat burning.  It was happening again. Stefano had finally found me. 

I didn't know what to do. I lost my mind. I couldn't think straight. I was trembling; my whole body felt heavy. I didn't hear him enter the bedroom, but I heard him swearing. He picked me up and placed me on top of the bed. I couldn't see him clearly because my eyes were full of tears. I cried so hard, it wasn't possible to hear his voice, but I felt his lips on my temple, both cheeks and finally a peck on the mouth. 

"Its okay, Bella. Stop crying. I'm here now, and no one is taking you away from me." 

The conviction in his voice got through me, the soothing endearing voice spoke of promises. "I'm here, Bella mia,  look at me" He begged, but I still couldn't, I was wrapped up under his chin.

 "Please look at me" he pleaded again, touching my face.

"C'mon baby, be strong for me. And I did. I moved from hiding under his chin to face him. I did because every time he called me that, there was a part of me that felt loved. It sounded as if he loved me. 

Seated on that bed in tears wrapped around Romano, I realized I wasn't just falling in love with him. I was already in love with him.