Love me in a thousand tiny, unsaid ways.

~Alison Malee~

 Mia

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed, my hands covering my mouth as I tried to reign in the excitement I felt watching shoppers wheeling two rails of white dresses. I have seen this often, especially on shows, but not specifically for me, I thought as the shoppers Introduced themselves as Mel and Angie.

Sophie sat with me on the black leather couch, both of us looking covertly at the beautiful dresses, listening as the shoppers went on and on about the designers. I heard Sophie sigh, lifting her swollen feet on a hideous colored tuffet stool. "I hate being pregnant" I laughed at the annoyance in her voice. "I miss wearing nice fitting clothes." She continued, while lovingly caressing her stomach. The expression on her face when she did it was a reflection of how happy she was despite hating the process.

"I don't think I can fit all of them," I said, standing up beside the rails with my hands on my chest. "I don't want any above my knees; I've been wearing those for a while now." Mel chuckled, handing me one which was bareback with long lace sleeves, it was beautiful. "What do you think of this, Soph?" I looked up, flattening it against my body, my eyes on the girl who was beginning to be my first girlfriend. She was the very definition of goodness. Her heart was devoid of malice.

"It's so beautiful; I love it." She stretched both of her hands to touch it, letting out a long sign of yearning.

"Promise me you'll take me with you to one of these events once I give birth."

"I promise,' I said playfully with my palm up like a pledge.

Placing the dress on one of the couch, I went back to look for another, this time I choose a shorter one. I felt terrible for the shoppers to have brought all these many clothes only for me to choose one.

"You will look beautiful in either of those," Angie said, her smile so tight to have been genuine. I didn't blame her; she was probably frustrated at having being ordered to the middle of nowhere to help what she presumed was a prima donna, or maybe she was angry at having gone through a security search. It didn't help that Devonni and Matteo kept giving them surreptitious looks as if they were afraid they would steal the silver even though there was no silver on sight. I would also have felt insulted, were it me.

"What about shoes?" I heard Sophie ask.

"I have the perfect shoes to go with either of these," I confirmed, holding both dresses together and lovingly like the way a mother holds a child.

You would think I would have already been acquainted and used to having new beautiful clothes by now.

"I'm sorry you came all this way for me just to choose two." They both smiled, dismissing my concern by saying it was okay. They were glad I found what I was looking for in their collection.

Nodding in agreement, I thanked them, wondering if it was okay to offer them refreshments. I whispered the same to Soph, who, in turn, signaled at Matteo. Sophie and I did not know the intricacies of this side of the house. I had not seen visitors since I came to live with Rom, and Sophie said the only visitors she knew and saw were members of the family, so we were both afraid of stepping on security matters.

Romano often told me I needed to be careful; I imagined Raphael said the same to Sophie hence the need to consult with Matteo about it.

A few minutes later, the four of us were comfortably sitting around each other. Soph sipping tea, I and the uptight shopper were having white wine while the other was drinking ginger ale.

We laughed until they relaxed. We talked about movies, the fashion industry, and I answered a few questions about how it felt to be on Vogue. I had stopped thinking bout it. But I still remembered the intense longing I felt when I wished to be on the cover.

He was the reason I wanted to be on the cover. Romano finding me because of that cover was still such a miracle considering what kind of a man he was. But then again, I should thank Soph for being obsessed with fashion magazines. Were it not for her; I would still be out there hiding from Stefano, afraid, and still longing for Rom.

After we said goodbye to them, Soph and I took the long route back to our side of the house, walking slowly while she talked of how she was afraid of giving birth.

"You would think I should be used to it having gone through one." I glanced at her, swinging the clothes and then holding them on my chest, searching for the best words to comfort her.

"You've told Raph." She cackled, throwing me a disgusted look." I don't even have to tell him, he knows."

I guess he could read her mind just as Rom does with me. I thought, missing him already.

"I'm sorry I have no idea what to say." she touched my hand lightly, smiling into my face. "It's okay. Raph says the most." After that, we walked in silence, hearing birds chirping, the sound of our footsteps, and two young guys behind us laughing.

I loved this place. It did not exactly resemble a rural home, but it had all the characteristics except domestic animals. However, Lia had two cats, which she often took out for walks.

I could get used to living in this house. I didn't care that I had to have security at all times as long as I stayed with him.

I wanted to stay.

I wanted him to want to keep me, but most importantly, I wanted him to love me.

It was almost that time of the day when he came home. I couldn't wait to see him. I knew he was worried about how to keep me safe from Stefano.

I wished he wouldn't despise me for giving him a duty that wasn't his. Soph suddenly hit me on my arm, kicking me out of my reverie. "Do you mind if I went to lay down for a while."

Of course, I wouldn't, I told her so as I watched her disappear through the door. I skipped to our side in excitement to find Rom out of the balcony drinking whiskey.

"Rom," I called out loud, and he turned to look at me, smiling into my direction. Throwing the clothes at the couch nearby, I run into him, sitting on his lap before kissing him full on the lips and forehead.

I love you. I thought. Please love me back.