I have never tasted fear until that moment.

                      ~Rom~

                  Romano

I was in Pulse, laughing with Bruno and Raph when Devonni came in running, sweating, and looking scared. I knew whatever he was about to say would crush my heart and awaken my demons. I was right.

He stood by the door; his eyes fixed on me, his hair rumpled like he had run his fingers through it or combed it upwards because the strands at the front waveringly stood as if even they knew the world was about to come crashing down with a bang, and some might not survive it.

I knew Mia was gone just by looking at him. I have never tasted fear until that moment.

Hurriedly taking my phone, I dialed her number just to be forwarded to voicemail.

My girl was gone. She was out there alone, scared, wishing, and praying I would rescue her.

Slowly placing the glass of whiskey on the desk, I looked at Devonni, waiting for him to start talking, but the boy just stood by the door staring at me like a scared rabbit.

"Close that damn door and start talking, " I told him calmly, standing up because I felt as if I was caged to my seat.

"Talk or I swear to God I'm gonna make you." his voice trembled. I could see he was struggling to find the right words by the way his mouth started moving and then stopped as if he was mute.

"Where is she?" my voice boomed, and I was afraid everyone on the floor could hear me.

He shook his head first, then starteted speaking in breaking sentences" She told me Chad called her about a specific photoshoot, but she declined, saying she was taking a personal break from working for the time being.

"Then why did she go?"

" He said he was meeting with her agent, and it would be courteous to decline in person."

"Then!"

"She requested me to go with her, I said, of course, with the condition that tells you about it."

"And yet, I didn't know about it."

" I know. She said it would only take five minutes or so, and there was no need to trouble you."

"Where did you last see her?"

"At the Waldorf"

"How did you lose her?"

"Im sorry I don't know. One minute she was laughing in front of my eyes, and then the next thing I know, I couldn't find her no matter how much I looked."

"what about Chad and the agent?"

"They said she'd left."

Jesus! I exclaimed, pulling my hair in frustration. It was either get mad or crumble in fear, but Mia needed me, and although I couldn't guarantee they wouldn't hurt her, I was sure I would find her.

I was pacing through the office when I head Bruno's voice; I'd forgotten they were there.

"Would you happen to know where they would take her.?"

I shook my head, folding my arms around my chest as if I was shielding myself from something.

"But I expect Stefano will be calling me any time from now to gloat."

"How do you know?"

" Because he is an old son of a bitch who still acts like a teenager. You would think having a deadline to live would wisen that motherfucker. "

"You could be wrong, " Raph suggested coming to stand beside me. "No. I'm never wrong about these things."

Suddenly, it started raining, heavy downpour accompanied by lightning and thunderstorms. It was becoming dark and gloomy, just like my heart. It felt like the weather was speaking to me as if it understood how frightened I felt, and in a way standing in solidarity with me.

If I were superstitious, I would believe it simply because Silvio hated the rain, and having such a downpour in the middle of a warm afternoon a few minutes after Mia's disappearance was a little too timed.

I was on the phone calling some people I knew to find out how many private jets or helicopters had cleared in the city that afternoon and their destinations. I needed all the flight manifests that had left that afternoon.

One thing I was sure of was that Mia was no longer in the country.

I got what I wanted a couple of minutes later. It paid to grease a few people in the highest positions; you never know when you might need them. It also helped that I had, in my possession, a little dirt on most of them.

I was ready to pull out the big guns to save my girl. I thought anyone who might be hit in the process as collateral damage. Nobody should judge me for protecting what I considered mine at the expense of everyone else. After all, one of my life's motto was everyone for themselves and god for us all.

The world is a jungle. I did not invent the rules, but I understood perfectly how the game was played, and it was rare for me to lose. It's hard to win over a man who had nothing to lose; now I had something to lose.

"Where are they?" Raph asked in a low voice.

"Italy," I answered in the same tone, staring at the words it until the words started looking fuzzy.

I wasn't stupid enough to believe they were going to keep her in Italy, and if they thought that, then they underestimated me.

It was ironic, how I've gone through life without fear to find my fear came in the form of a girl whose single smile turned my world upside down. Her laughter sounded as if I finally found the home I lost when my brother died; when she whispered at me at one in the morning about the most frivolous thing, I smiled because I knew she had been waiting for me to come home.

Sometimes I didn't remember my life before her. It was as if I had been standing still waiting for her to walk through my life since I turned fifteen, and somehow I couldn't imagine my life without her.

Mia was my world. In the shortest time, she had become the air I breathed. I was comfortable in the knowledge that they wouldn't kill her. She was alive and will remain alive because they needed her.
What I couldn't control, however, was their ability to hurt her. I could kill them, but I wouldn't be able to undo the damage, and that is what scared me the most.

In preparation for this day, I had made a few calls. It was just a matter of time until they got her anyway, but I needed to be ready when the day came. It was imperative to have every tool required to save her.

"Call Matteo," I told Devonni, who had been leaning on the door since I told him to close it. He was scared, I could tell. The kid had a soft heart; he probably thought I might blow his fucking brains out, I would have if I didn't like him.
"You're going to Italy with Matteo. I need your ears on the ground, and on your phones, in case I need anything from you." He nodded, shaking his head vigorously as he dialed Matteo's number.
"Visit Father Jose first," I said, pacing around the room, urgently waiting for Stefano's calls.
"Priests always know every goddamn thing about everyone in the area." I heard Bruno say.
"Listen carefully to what he says, as a matter of fact, write every goddamn thing he says. He won't say anything to you directly, but if he knows something, he will tell you in the form a story, a riddle, or a joke. Listen."
"Why can't he just tell me?" Devonni turned his face at Bruno, wearing a confused look. "He is a priest. It is his duty not to disclose anything told during confession."
"Is it not disclosing it by telling it in a riddle or whatever else you've mentioned?"
"You think he is going to disclose it?" Raph asked, sitting on top of the conference table. He was probably thinking of the time Sophie was kidnapped; If there was any person on earth who understood exactly how I felt, it was Raph.
"I like the man, but getting anything from him is like pulling teeth. You will probably not understand anything he says."
"What do we do then?" I could hear the panic in his voice.
"Devonni, I should be the one panicking, not you!"  I snapped, resuming pacing. Stefano was doing it on purpose; he was keeping me on tenterhooks just to fuck with me, and he was winning.
"Don't worry, Matteo will probably be able to decipher his message. But you must understand nothing happens around him without his knowledge."
"Fuck the seal of confession!" I muttered under my breath. 
The four of us were standing, lost in our thoughts when Stefano called, just like I knew he would.

There was mocking laughter in his voice. A celebratory tone that transcended the distance to raise my hackles to the point of wishing I had killed him the last time we met.

I had a chance to erase him then, but I believed that remaining alive was the best for Mia; I still did, but that didn't stop me from thinking I should have killed him when I had the chance.

I could feel the beginning of a headache. My head was spinning so much I started feeling disoriented.

Rubbing my forehead, as if I was scrubbing off dirt, listening to the son of bitch going on and on about how smart he was. I wished I could tell him he was more stupid than a fucking sheep. But I did not. Instead, I remained calm and collected until he got tired of hearing his own fucking voice because I did not want my anger to rule over me. I didn't trust him not to let it out on her.

"Can I speak to her,"

"Why should I let you speak to her?" Stefano spat out, his voice so loud I had to move the phone from my ear.

Slowly letting out a breath I wasn't sure I held, I stood by the window, looking out at people without actually seeing anyone while listening to Stefano state a litany of reasons as to why he wouldn't let me speak to her.

There are more than a few lessons I have learned since I was fifteen; one of them is that the best way to get something out of weak ass men was to boost their ego, feed their self-importance, and that precisely what I did with Stefano. The son of a bitch was so impressed he let me speak to her. But not without giving me the warning to keep it short.

God, I'm not sure you exist, but if you do, please make sure she is okay. I thought, changing the phone to my left ear.

"Hello," Her voice sounded calm, probably for my benefit, but to my ear, her voice at that moment was the most beautiful sound I ever heard. It was a sign of life, hers. I was so happy to listen to her speak; it felt like the heavens opened and embraced me.

I knew we didn't have much time. Any moment now, Stefano was going to halt our conversation, so I had to exploit those few minutes to my advantage without tipping him off.

"Are you real?" I asked in a low voice, still looking out the window. I heard her breathing, and I knew she was struggling to keep herself from crying.

"No, Im not." She whispered. It was the first time she ever said that. Every time I asked that question, she always answered with, "yes, I am."

My girl was scared, and hearing my voice probably will make her cry, I hoped she wouldn't.

"Bella Mia, why are you not real?"

"Because Manuel was right." She whispered. I stood still, listening to her breathing until she cut off the phone call.

"They're taking her to Mexico?" I announced, rushing to the door with Bruno walking by my side.

Raph would remain to make sure his family was protected, and brief Matteo and Devonni, but I was glad to have B with me.

"How do you know?"

"Mia told me. She said Manuel was right."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Bruno asked as he slid in the driver's car of the BMW, starting the car before I could even get in.

"It's a long story, but Manuel represents Mexico.

"I guess that is the reason you borrowed Matthew's jet, you knew those fuckers would find a way to kidnap her."

"Yes. I knew it was just a matter of time. Stefano is a man living against the clock. "