The next day I was up like usual, getting ready for school, when my Father appeared at my door.

"I am going to be out of town for a few weeks, I expect you to take care of things here. Don't disappoint me, do you understand?"

I remembered to breathe. "Yes, sir. I understand."

"Good, be productive."

And just like that he was gone. I released a breath. Gone for weeks? I could finally get a job?

I waited till the front door slammed to even move. Once I couldn't hear the car anymore, I stifled a girlish shriek. He had said 'Weeks'!

In the middle of my glee my phone dinged. I picked it up.

Clint

you still busy this Friday?

I could say no. l should say no. They did try to kill me last week. But I did want to go, I did want to talk to them just a little bit more and my Father was going to be gone. Maybe just once more.

Kira

No, actually I am currently free of this world's burdens.

Clint

Finally!

It's game night this Fri. Happy'll pick you up after school. I never did get to destroy you at Mario Kart last time.

Kira

I will have you know I am a Mario Kart champion!

Clint

Oh, really?

Kira

No, I've actually never played.

Clint

No, worries, you'll learn fast

Also Bruce wants to check your stitches again.

Crap.

Kira

Actually, my dad took me to the doctor and had they removed them, so they don't need to be checked.

Clint

Okay, you sure? Bruce wouldn't mind.

Kira

Yeah, it doesn't even hurt.

Thanks though

Clint

Okay

See you friday

Kira

okay byed

On Friday Mr. Delightful picked me up from school and again the drive was silent and at least for me, tense.

Tar had settled in my stomach and I couldn't help but regret my choice, again. I had done it twice. THis is what I had felt the first time, yet here I was again digging myself a deeper grave. What am I doing? Making excuses? Why?

There weren't answers and again it was too late to do anything. Oh, god I must be doomed to curse myself.

The car pulled into the garage and I rode the elevator up to the penthouse suit by myself. When the doors opened I was accosted by arguing, music, pot and pans being clanged together as well as the smell of something burning.

My whole body was immediately paralyzed and I couldn't see through the smoke. There was a fire in the apartment. I could hear the screams of people below, someone was talking in my ear. My Father.

".....Okay? Kid, are ...." Someone touched my shoulder and I jolted. "....you okay?" It was Bucky standing next to me in the hallway

"Oh, Oh, I'm fine." As soon as I said it I knew I'd said it too fast. I took a step back and let his hand drop off my shoulder.

"You sure? You don't seem okay?" He asked again.

"Sorry I was just lost in outer space for a moment."

He squinted suspiciously at me for a moment.

I leaned back, trying to make myself look more relaxed. "I promise, I'm fine."

Finally he took a step back. "Well, we'd better go or Tony's going to eat without us."

I quickly scrambled on the opportunity to change the subject. "He'd eat without us?"

"He'd eat without the president if he thought he was taking too long."

Mr. Barnes led me into the dining room where the Avengers were milling about. As we entered I could feel the energy in the atmosphere change, all the attention shifted to me. I gulped and shifted backwards ever so slightly. This was a terrible idea. I hate myself. I hate my idiot self.

"The Tiny Oyster has arrived." Tony announced grandly. "Now we can eat."

For the third time I was ushered to sit and eat with Earth Mightiest heroes, this time for lasagna and other American-Italian food. And again people dished out food onto my plate, all of which I happily ate, while watching them all enthralled in their discussions. They seemed content not to force me into the spotlight and I was content to watch from the sidelines.

Somewhere in me a voice was whispering, This is actually real.

A bitter melancholy filled me. It might be real, but it was always going to be ephemeral. The moment any one of them found out any of my secrets I would be killed or thrown into a cell for the rest of my life and that's only if my Father didn't find out first. Once my Father came back I would have to throw all of this away and become their bitter enemies again. I would have to give up their friendship as well as my life as the Morning Star.

After dinner, the Avengers and I played several board games as well as some video games. I spent the rest of the night pretending I was a normal person with a normal life, pretending I wasn't a killer. For just a moment in time I got to live an imaginary life of peace.

The next night I decided to make the most of the time I had and went out as the Morning Star. I had a tally going, now, of how many lives I had saved. Five. It wasn't even close to the number of lives I had taken, but every time I saw it scratched on a piece of paper I felt just a little bit better. These people had a chance to live, one more chance.

I spent a few hours perched on a fire escape waiting for trouble to find me when it did. A building just across the street exploded. Shattered glass flew from the windows instantly replaced with angry flames. People screamed and ran and I could see flailing bodies still inside the building as only a few people had managed to run and leave the building entirely.

I was over at one of the windows in a flash trying to count how many people were still in the building. My sixth sense was charging off the track giving me signals from everywhere and nowhere. It must have been a gas leak.

I picked a window with the fewest flames and vaulted inside immediately noticing at least four still and flaming bodies. a woman was on the floor trying to crawl away from the flames. I helped her up and through the window, that was one. One of many.

The smoke was becoming very thick and hard to see through, I had to rely mostly on my other senses to guide me to another victim, this one badly burned. I picked her up and ran her outside. I could hear sirens approaching but it would still be a few minutes before they would be here. They'll be too late. The building was already starting to groan and collapse one one side and I could still hear the screams and cries of at least ten more people in the building.

"You!" I said, grabbing a bystander. "Give this lady first aid!" After giving the command I took another deep breath and darted back into the building searching for another survivor. It didn't take long before I found a little girl with what seemed to be a broken leg.

"I'll take her!" Said a voice behind me. I spun around. It was the Winter Soldier.

He reached down and picked her up trying not to jostle the leg too much. My sixth sense flared just as a beam in the roof collapsed. I instinctively threw my hands up and caught the burning metal and threw it to the side. My hands ached with the burns no doubt already blistering, but I would think about that later.

The flames were getting larger covering more and more portions of the building. Around me I could see the other Avengers helping people to safety.

I reached out with my enhanced hearing to pick up the faint wheeze of breath coming from a back room. It was more difficult for me to navigate through the flames now with them mostly covering the hallway, but I did manage to jump through most of them unscathed. It didn't take me too long to find a man on the floor feebly crawling towards a window.

I lifted him under his arms and dragged him closer only putting him down to smash the window with my fists, but before I could A red white and blue shield did.

"Need some help?" The Captain asked, grabbing the man's legs helping me lift him out the window. No sooner had we done that then the roof finally gave way.

I screamed as the flames hit me full force and I was slammed onto my knees by falling debris. Something impaled my shoulder and pain sliced through the haze with white hot fury. Everything was scorching my skin. Captain America grabbed my arms, igniting an explosion of pain in my shoulder. He dragged me out the window and onto the grass. Hazily I felt for the object in my shoulder and before I had a second thought I yanked it out.

The world went Blurry and quaked beneath me. I couldn't feel the pain, I couldn't feel anything, just a dull throb. Gradually I realized someone was touching me, unzipping my hoodie. A blurry figure stood over me and my eyes slowly sharpened, it was Mr. Rogers and he was holding something against my shoulder.

He was also talking to me. "Hey, Hey, I need you to breathe. Take a deep breath."

I tried, but it was more like a gasp, I couldn't pull the air through the mask, there wasn't enough oxygen.

Someone else was beside me looking into my face, Ms. Rommanoff. Before I knew what she was doing she pulled my mask off. Suddenly I could breathe, I gasped and took in several gulping breaths.

"Kira?" That's when realization hit me. I was now unmasked and four Avengers were standing in front of me.

"You told me you were twenty!" Clint said. I didn't know how to respond, I'd failed. I'd failed on such a fundamental level.

"It doesn't matter." Steve said. "We need to get her to the tower."

That was the last part I comprehended before Iron Man knelt down and picked me up. Somehow I was soaring through the air just above the buildings. Distantly I thought the lights looked like fireflies from this high, so pretty. There weren't many Fireflies in New york, but from up here there were millions of them, blinking and flitting around, so quiet and noiseless.

I shifted in the metal arms, they were uncomfortable, almost like they were stabbing into my shoulder. I groaned.

"Hey, Stay with me kid." It was Mr. Stark. He was talking to me, he sounded awfully concerned, like I trying to run away. I wasn't going to leave. or was I already leaving?

Dully I could hear my Father, far off in the distance. "Once you go into shock, you're dead. Dead."

That's what this was, shock and now I was dead, helpless, weak....Useless. But it was mostly painless.

There was an earsplitting clang of metal and a jolt that shot bullets through my shoulder. I cried out, but no tears escaped my eyes. It was like lava had been poured into my veins.

I was gently lowered onto a soft gurney and it took me almost minute to recognize Dr. Cho pushing on my shoulder.

Things a people moved around me, sometimes their faces would morph into people I knew, sometimes they were just featureless. All I could pick up were bits and pieces of conversation, some close up some miles away.

Someone injected me with something and for a moment reality crystallized. I was in a bad situation, the situation I had been avoiding for weeks. They had found out and what was coming was entirely my fault.

"....Your metabolism?" Dr. Cho was leaning towards me asking a question.

"I'm sorry what?" I asked quietly.

"Do you know how fast your metabolism is?" I must be burning through the drugs.

shook my head. "No, not exactly." She was impressively calm and soothing, considering the circumstances.

"That's alright, I'll just make an educated guess." She grabbed another syringe and injected me with something again.

A voice prodded at the back of my head, telling me I should be more concerned than I was about the drugs. It was right, but I couldn't bring myself to care about anything except the thought that they knew, I had exposed myself. I had made multiple bad decisions in a row that had led me here and now I might as well pick my grave stone, because someone was bound to kill me now. And then the world faded out again.

Consciousness was touch and go for a while, I don't know how long. But Cho was always there, working on my shoulder and she did it quietly, without questions or judgement.

Finally I did find consciousness and Dr. Cho was there next to me.

"How are you feeling?" I groaned in reply, sitting up.

She pushed a cup full of a green liquid towards me, "Drink this."

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's a protein shake," She said. "It'll help you heal faster, since your glucose levels are down."

I drank the whole cup quickly trying not to taste how bitter it was to my extreme taste buds.

After I was done Dr. Cho helped me into another zip up hoodie, not mine, though, this one was black just a touch too big. She then put my arm in a sling and told me not to move it too much then left. As soon as she had gone I felt like curling up in a ball and pretending the world didn't exist. I appreciated the familiar comfort of my hoodie, I could let its sleeves swallow my fingertips and pull the hood up around my face so I couldn't see anyone, I could pretend I wasn't exposed. But I was, they knew now at least half of my story and whatever they felt about me now they would be ten times worse once they found out the other half.

I felt like running, Just down the hall to the stairs. I could make it outside and just keep running, but no. It would never happen, there was no way it would be that easy. Getting out would be a miracle.

Disappointment.

Worthless.

Weak.

Useless.

The door swung open and in stepped Clint. Now he was wearing cargo pants and a T-shirt, his hair was wet and I could smell a tropical shampoo.

He studied me, eyes slightly squinted. I tried to read his body, but couldn't come up with anything. His posture was tightened, but he didn't look furious, His hands were casually in his pockets, but his face was anything but passive.

He took a few steps closer. "How's your shoulder?" Was that really the first question he was going to ask?

"It's fine." I cringed at how quiet my voice was, I'd been taught my whole life to speak up or not at all.

Clint nodded and moved to sit on the table beside me. "Dr. Cho said it'll probably be just fine in a week."

I nodded and scooted away, slightly.

"Why'd you tell me you were twenty." He didn't sound angry, and not quite disappointed, but maybe something akin to disheartened?

"I didn't want you to know."

"Oh, really?" He scoffed. "I'd've never thought."

I shrunk just a little bit beneath his chastising eyes.

"Why'd you not want us to know?" his voice had lost its edge, it was almost calm.

My mouth opened, but I didn't have an answer so I just closed it again, well aware that he was watching me closely.

"Is it your father?" My whole body went rigid and ice solidified in my chest. "Is that why you only go out when he's gone?"

He'd checked our files, he could know almost everything about me. I was still processing this when I realized he was waiting for an answer, but what do I tell him?

"I don't think we would agree with each other." I said meekly.

He was quiet for a second before he nodded. "I could see that, with you being sixteen and everything." I winced, he was well aware that I had lied to him.

"He's gonna have to know." He said.

No, no, no, no, please no!

He saw the panic on my face and made an amendment. "I can let you tell him?"

"Can I tell him in person?" I asked, pleading with my eyes.

He took in a deep breath and then slowly let it out. "So long as you do tell him."

I couldn't help but release a relieved breath, I wasn't saved, but at least I could postpone telling my Father until I maybe had a better plan.

I wanted to ask him why. Why hadn't he issued some kind of recompense? Why did he care about my age? Why wasn't he angry? Maybe he is angry, maybe he likes to stay calm before unleashing himself.

He slid off the table and I almost snapped, but he was facing away from me and I forced a steady breath into my lungs. Hyperventilating wouldn't help anything.

"Let's get you some real food to eat." He said, indicating I should follow.

I took a deep breath, I might as well have a full stomach when I die.

A/N

Hey guys I am so sorry for the wait. Life has kicked my butt and I will no longer judge the writers who have prewritten the next chapter, but didn't have time to publish it because this is very difficult!!

The story is finally building up pressure. Please vote and comment they keep me alive on the inside.

:)