If you play the song to your right, while you read this chapter, It has its fully effect ;) If it somehow does not work the song is called "Never be the same" by Jessia Mauboy.

You might have to play it twice or three times since it might not last while you read, or really play it from page 2.5, you don't have to 

Not edited, so spelling and grammar mistakes are inevitable. 

"You're late,"

I looked at Alex and shrugged squeezing into the space next to him with my plate full off food. I was absolutely starving. I wasn't even going to show up, but I was angry and food seemed like the best idea. Maybe if I cut this chicken into ten ways making sure it was smothered in sauce it might made me calmer.

Doubt it.

"Where were you, you missed your patrol,"

"I don't do patrols?" I said showing a spoonful of salad in my mouth, which was surprisingly good and made sure to give Alex a nice view while I talked. I never did patrols, patrols wasn't my duty.

"Yes but I wanted you there,"

I shrugged, "Too bad,"

Cutting my chicken wasn't satisfying, probably because it was cooked to perfection and simply fell off the bone, no struggle. Killing someone this easy wasn't fun, I mean eating this easy was not fun.

"Where's your uniform?"

I looked down at the clothes I was wearing, I was still in my jumper and jeans, "In my room?"

Where else would it be? Hanging from the oak tree?

"Why is there grass on y-,"

I slapped his hand away with the knife I was holding and glared at him, "What's with the interrogation? Sheesh give me a break,"

Alex turned around staring back at his plate, he was already up to dessert which was cheesecake, and I shuddered, cheesecake, I'm going to skip it.

I was not in a happy mood, I was so confident I would find the middle, and no matter how many times I came close there was like a block at the end, and I had no way around it. It was like a square, with no secret entry, I searched.

Who cares, it was probably some sit out area anyways, finding the middle was over-rated.

"Do you want some?"

"No I'm fine," 

Alex dropped the spoon of cheesecake he was holding and I felt bad for being mean to him, but then it wasn't like I could actually control my emotions at the moment. I was like a hormonal pregnant woman, mines being pregnant of course, I was too sexy to be pregnant.

I scoffed at that very inappropriate mind joke and choked.

Alex slapped my back, hard, which I probably deserved till I stopped choking, "You okay?"

I drained my water glass nodding, "Yea just choked,"

He raised an eyebrow when I didn't expand and stood up, "After you eat go see the king, I told him about you wanting to leave,"

I paused, he did?

"If you're not happy here, then I don't want you to be here,"

I watched letting my eyes follow him as he walked out. The lunch room was relatively quiet since it was nearly over so it was weird sitting here by myself finishing it off. I could see the new novices in the corner eating in hushed voices, staring at me every once in a while.

No doubt gossiping as usual. I made eye contact with one of them who looked away.

No Isandra, you are not allowed to throw your knife across the room, especially when you never miss.

Walking to the king's private talking room was nerve wrecking, last time I thought I was going to be hung, instead it was an impromptu trip to Russia, this time I really didn't want to end up in China guarding him or anywhere else.

I wanted to stay.

I waited outside the big doors till one of the guards came back out telling me I could go inside.

I nodded straightening my uniform that I changed into, maybe it would be too casual to walk in and talk to him in jeans. 

"Ah Isandra," he said as I bowed in front of him. He put whatever he was reading down and looked at me across the room, the way he said my name felt familiar, but I couldn't put a finger on it. 

"Your highness, you wanted to see me?"

He waved a hand standing up, "Formalities, your brother came to see me. He said that it might be better if you were...placed somewhere else for a while," 

I remained quiet, especially since I had no idea what Alex told him, and the reasoning. Would it be unprofessional if it was because some wh-person was causing me annoyance, and especially when that person was the future queen. 

"I'm glad he came to me, because I was wondering who to send for this," 

Send for what?

"You look the party and I'm sure you can play the part of student perfectly,"

Yes, please tell me this is what I want to do, even if I didn't really get to study there, I would love to see what it looked like, how the people were. I could feel my heart beating a million miles per hour as I wanted to hear the king quickly say I was going to college.

"You know Nikolevich,"

I nodded, he was Ja- the prince's cousin. 

"His recent guard has been injured, and I know we usually have male guards but why be sexist," I tried not to smile when the king said sexist, like it was a foreign word.

"I'd like you to be his guardian, I grant you full power to do what you think is in his best interests, as we all know he isn't the smartest pea in the house, till I send recruitment's for graduation,"

I nodded and then slowed myself down only nodding once, I must look like a excited girl, because let's be frank I was.

"Excellent,  you leave tonight,"

That was...soon? 

But soon was good, soon was perfect, soon was great. The faster I got out of this place, the quicker I could forget about anything.

The irony was incredible I came to guard the future queen and did everything but that, well apart from the first few days. I couldn't wait to leave. 

Waiting outside the door as I came out was Alex, "How did it go?"

I nodded, "Good, I leave tonight,"

He nodded walking beside me solemnly. I watched him as he sat on the chair by the window as I dragged out my suitcase, was he okay?

I could see faint dark circles around his eyes, was he pulling more shifts that needed again?

"Everything okay?" I asked opening my wardrobe.

I could see him nod from the corner of my eyes, "Just work,"

"You should sleep more,"

"I know, but with the new t-just been busy," he said scrunching up his eyebrows and leaning forward rubbing his hands together.

"New what?" I asked. Was there something they weren't telling me? When Alex didn't pursue the topic, I let it go. It wasn't my problem anyways. I had a new problem to worry about, and I was glad. 

I shoved everything into my bag, trying to fold them but gave up after a bit. I looked at Alex every few glances to see he was in deep thought, something was bothering him, and I believed him when he said it was work, if it wasn't he wouldn't hide it from me.

And if it was work I had no right to ask, even if I wanted to, he never questioned me on work and I owed that back to him. It was just how things were.

I grabbed the other things from my draws placing them on top of my clothes, including my silver gun and I smiled as I wrapped it around in my jumper, I loved this gun.

"I'm sorry,"

I looked up, "You should be," I joked and saw him half smile, "But what for?" I asked in a more serious tone. Sorry's weren't easily thrown around in our family.

"For bringing you here. I thought maybe if you spend time guarding the family I could spend more time with you, you know we are family, I guess I was being greedy and selfish"

I smiled zipping up my case, we barely did spend time together. I saw him when I was changing missions, things to go, when we were assigned in the same location.

"You know Alex," I patted the plain black case, it looked so boring, maybe I should buy another suitcase, and make it bright yellow.

"I'm not a people person,"

I grabbed my smaller case that had more personal belongings and nearly laughed when I realized I hadn't even opened it. There was no point unpacking here, maybe I just knew that I wouldn't need to unpack it. 

"I don't feel like you do. You know when I kill someone," I said looking up at him, I placed my hands on my hips, "I don't feel sad, and I wouldn't say I feel nothing, because sometimes I'm happy when I shot that bullet three centimetres into their skull, or maybe when I puncture their lung, and as much as I love you, you're probably the only person there ever will be in life. I'll come to visit you. But some people, people like me, are solo, for life,"

I don't blame anyone but myself for that. I was brought up in isolation, the way I was messed up when it came to emotions, I don't feel, like a robot, without parents. Alex knew them. He knew them more than myself, that was probably why he knew how to love, finding those warm memories in his heart he held them close to bring me up to the way I am.

And I was happy with the way I was, he tried, I wouldn't change it, or else I wouldn't be good at my profession. When you were a kid yourself and you had to raise another kid, it took a lot of strength to be how you were, that's why I admired Alex. 

"Everyone needs someone Izy, you, me, an ant," He said chuckling.

I shrugged, "Maybe, but I prefer being alone, as good as it was to spend time here, with you, with people, I think it's time I went back,"

And sure I had to spend time with people in college, but it was just different. I looked up seeing his eyes watering even though he tried to look strong, it was a shame I didn't feel the same sadness as I left. In fact it just felt like another mission, it was duty.

The rest of the day was Alex watching me pack, both of us quiet, the only time I did speak to him after that was to tell him to get out of my room so I could change. And then when he said bye kissing my cheek and to take care, well didn't I always take care. 

But I felt something as I got into the car as my eyes searched the small crown, even the king had come to say goodbye and give me a file. It wasn't till the car drove out of the gates I saw someone perched on the veranda staring that my stomach flipped.

Maybe I shouldn't have had such a heavy dinner.

*

College. 

I stepped out breathing the air swinging my backpack over my shoulder, I was excited. I had been dropped into a room in the early morning hours which only let me sleep for two hours but I was to excited anyways.

And then I woke up early to decide what to wear, what would girls wear? Would they be slutty as depicted in some movies, or would they be shy? Would there be a mix? Would they like me?

And then I scoffed pulling out grey jeans, I was going as an undercover guard, blend in, but I still had to wear clothes that allowed me to carry my weapons.

No standing here in tight jeans, and a green sleeveless top I didn't regret my decision when I saw girls shivering and huddling in short dresses, were they idiots? Didn't they know it was winter?

I shook my head treading over the grass as I walked across the oval, I had my first class, or really Nik's first class that I was pretending I was a student in. As I looked around I knew the people who went here, rich, famous, important bratty kids. Hopefully I could pull off my 'role' of a bratty business man's daughter.

Shouldn't be that hard, Catherina did teach me that.

"Heads up!"

Who is throwing heads where?

I turned around only to have something obstruct my view and for once I faltered as something punched me in the face and I fell backwards my vision going blank for a second before blood rushing through my veins.

Did someone just throw a football in my face?

I blinked tyring not to swear as hazel eyes came into my vision, followed by a soft face that was too familiar and a cheeky smirk that didn't belong.

"Aren't you meant to be protecting me?"