So i realised i write best when I have about 20 different things due in 2 days and I have such a big workload I don't even want to think about it because I am so lazy i sit there in bed all day decided to look out the window, because homework sucks. That's when I write. In other words the only reason I come on wattpad is to procasti-write. I dont think I can find a day when i came on just to update. I need some serious help.

Result: A longer than usual chapter

"Do you need help?"

"I'm fine," just a bit more, reach Isandra, reach.

"You don't look fine," My eyes snapped up to the mirror and meet Eden's who was having more fun laughing at me.

"Can you not? Go guard Nik, that's your job." he rolled his eyes at me, the man had the nerve to roll his damn eyes at me.

"You look like you're struggling, just offering my help,"

I slammed the gauze on the bathroom counter and untucked the back of my shirt from my bra which was holding it up, I really was a genius.

"You know what, screw this," I was frustrated, I couldn't get a single gauze to stick, my elbows just didn't bend that way, that was not my fault. Clearly the human body couldn't do it by itself.

"It's going to get infected,"

"Yea well I'll see to it then," I said grumpily, I didn't want to take it out on him, hell he didn't deserve it but the lack of sleep was really starting to get to me. What was this my third or fourth day with no sleep?

All I could do was lay in bed at night staring at the ceiling and take watch even though Eden was outside.

"Hey look who I found-who crawled up your arse?" Nik said as he saw my face.

"I'm going to sleep,"

"About time," he muttered as I stormed towards the bed but stopped when I heard the voice. I turned around smiling as I saw Alex standing there.

"Hey little kid," he said as I literally leaped at him like some toddler throwing my hands around him, "What did you do?" he asked a bit confused that I was hugging him.

I would have been suspicious too, I just don't hug people like that, especially not my brother who had a rocky relationship while I was younger. He did everything right by the book, I just liked making him suffer.

"I did nothing," I said turning around and heading to my bed. I flopped down sighing.

"Sure you did," muttered so quietly I opened my eyes glaring at him as he sat down on his bed, one look at me and he blushed scratching his neck scared. Better be scared.

"She's hurt," he blurted out and I sat up.

"You little rat back," before I could even strangle him there was a hand on my shoulder, actually two hands holding me back.

"Honestly you haven't changed one bit," muttered Alex irritated but I knew he had a bit of a smile on his face. I shrugged his hand off but there was still another one.

I looked over plucking the hand and chucking it away like it was diseased, "Do I seriously need to break that hand of yours?"

"Maybe," I looked up to the owner of the hand biting my lip, Carter.

"What are you both doing here, don't you have more important sh-stuff to do?" I asked scooting away on my bed.

"Yes protecting the prince, that's why we are here, where are you hurt?"

"No where," I lied laying down on my back managing to suppress a wince when it dug into the mattress. I closed my eyes, sleep come at me.

"Lies," I rolled my eyes inside my eyelids, I really needed to stop doing that. I thought I got rid of that habit. I frowned.

"Turn around,"

"Go away Alex, I don't want you here,"

"Isandra,"

"F*ck off,"

"She hasn't slept for a few days," said Nik from across, no he was way closer than where he was before.

"Nik don't make me snap your neck in half,"

"You can't do that!"

"Where is it?" Alex probed and I sighed opening my eyes and seeing Eden across the other side looking amused.

"Eden already fixed it, I'm fine, go do something productive like actually guarding the prince,"

They all frowned at me before Alex grumbled and walked out.

"Ha suckers," muttered Nik laughing and i agreed.

I closed my eyes praying that sleep would come. And for once it did.

*

"Where is everyone?" I grumbled trying to get up. My legs caught in the stupid blanket.

Screw this. I ripped it chucking it out of my way and got up patting my stomach. I was hungry.

I walked to the fridge opening it and looked inside. Heaven.
The fridge was well stocked and I grabbed the bread pulling it out.

Toast it was. Toast was great for any time of the day.

I popped it in taking out my phone, nothing new.

I went to the barroom washing my face trying to brighten my face up. God I hadn't slept like that in ages. I felt like a baby.

I stared in the mirror at my reflection, my hair had grown again. And I didn't want to comb it trying to get all the knots out.

Let's just cut it my conscience said again but I frowned. It was always in a bun so it wouldn't matter.

I undid my pony tail meeting my thick dark hair fall down like a waterfall, except there was nothing elegant about the way it fell.

I ran my fingers through it wincing every-time it caught around a knot.

Fine I'll comb in.

I grabbed the comb, the whole process taking longer than necessary.

By the time I was done I looked in the mirror, there it was all out. I looked so different with all my hair out, it made my face seem more, lively.

I pursed my lips before wrapping it in a pony tail and then into a bun clipping it up. There now that looked more like me.

What was that smell. Oh crap.

I ran into the kitchen as I could smell the toast burning. Oh lord. How on earth did I burn the toast.

I grabbed the charcoal hot squares chucking them into the bin. Who the hell puts the setting to max.

I heard the door open and looked up sheepishly as Carter walked in pausing in the doorway, still not seeing me and sniffing.

"Is something burn-" his eyes met mine and I scratched the back of my neck as he realised what the smell was.

His lips quirked up, "did you burn toast?

"No," I said clearing my throat. I meant it was an accident. But toast. Toast of all things, this was embarrassing.

He kicked the door shut walking over, "you burnt toast. Isn't that the easiest thing to make?"

"I was pre-occupied," I said moving over to cover the bin when he tried peering inside. My toast, my burned charcoal who was he to judge.

I mean maybe I just liked my toast burnt.

"Do you want me to make you something,"

Well no cause you cant, oh wait he can.

I have him a single nod and then moved out of his way walking around. The counter and sitting on the bar stool.

"What do you want?

I tapped the the counter with my right hand while my head was leaning on my left hand that was perched up on the counter.

What did I want? why was that such a hard question

"Food?" I asked not sure. He simply chuckled shaking his head and dragging out items. My curiosity picked up when I saw salami. Was he making pizza?

Oh I like pizza.

No right. Sandwhich.

"Thanks," I said as he passed me it, placed on a plate perfectly. How did he make it so fast? He shoved two slices in the toaster and by the time he got everything else and cut them up the toasts were done perfectly, not burnt.

*

"What are you doing?" I asked biting into my apple as I watched Nik kick the rock, again.

He looked up at me before muttering to himself and kicking it again. Further. His aim was terrible.

"Can you stop?" he said suddenly and I paused. Stop what? breathing? probably not.

"Stop what?" I took another bite.

He threw his hands in the air frustrated, made a huff and sat down. Good. The rock had no chance against him.

"Eating," I paused and narrowed my eyes. Just cause I have food.

"I'm just hungry okay what's up your arse?" I took another bite but chewed softer. I mean I didn't possibly chew that loud, did I?

"Nothing,"

But his stare was anything but nothing. I turned the apple frowning to see I had little left. "I'm just really hungry," granted it was my second apple after a punnet of strawberries and a packet of maltesers.

Which just showed how hungry I was, I hated apples. 

But a girl had to eat.

"Maybe you're pregnant. You've been eating the whole day,".

That made me snort, loudly, "don't you wish," don't we all. That' also won't keep me still for nine months. Or however long babies take to pop out.

"What? don't like children?"

I shrugged. "I like children I just don't want any,"

He knotted his eyebrows in confusion and I shrugged digging into my pockets sadly I ran out of food.

"Why?" I ignored his question by pulling out my phone. Because no one would want a twisted cold blooded killer for a mother. Plus, I didn't do relationships.

"Where are they?". We were currently waiting for Alex and Carter to come out after the 'price' was finished with his lecture.

And they were late.

"Probably coming,"

I uncrossed my legs relaxing against the picnic bench, no shit. They're coming.

"There's another party tonight-"

"No-". Nik cracked a grin at me "I won't let you get drugged again,"

I rolled my eyes "my answers still a no. Take Eden with you,"

"Eww no,"

"There's nothing wrong with me thank you". I blocked the sun looking up too see Eden walk towards us with a packet of chips. He hopped onto the bench and I leaned over taking some.

He raised an eyebrow, Well it doesn't have his name on the packet.

"I uh-" Nik went a lovely shade of red and I shook my head smiling.

"yeah but you're not a girl," Nik sighed and hopped onto the ground in front of us and I shared an amused expression with Eden, "What do  you have against men?" I asked confused.

Niks hook his head, "No, everyone brings dates so I was going to take you," I choked on my sweet and chili chip while Eden broke into laughter and patted my back while Nik just turned redder, if that was even possible.

"Not like that Isandra!" He grumbled wriggling in his spot, "Like you can't come without a girl, it's strange,"

I stopped coughing and cleared my throat, "Don't you um," I scratched the back of my neck,"Have like a girlfriend or something," I mean Nik acted like a cocky bastard half the time I was with him, now seeing this side of him, it was damn strange.

"There is this girl,"

"Perfect," I said waving an arm, "Just ask her out, and take her," I reached over and took another chip  ignoring Eden's raised eyebrow,choking was not going to stop me from taking more. 

"I don't know  how to, I mean if a random guy came up to you and asked you to go to a party with him, would you?" It took me a moment to realize he was talking to me and I shrugged looking at both of them.

"Well don't ask me, I never had that before," I shrugged.

"Seriously?" Eden muttered and I shrugged, "yeah, never really been to schools and stuff," not that I minded. Because like Nik said, I probably would have shoved his hand up his mouth and told him to piss off in a colourful way.

I winced, yep better staying away from guys.

"Like you've never had a relationship?" My hand froze centimetres from my mouth holding a delicious chip as I frowned, "I don't think so?" I never really did have one, or even felt close to one I guess.

I looked at Eden, "Did you?" I asked back. He shrugged and Nik sat up looking more interested.

"Really?" he asked and Eden sighed, "Wasn't this about your love life, not mine," Nik reached over plucking the packet of chips from Eden's clutches and shoving a handful in his mouth, very gross.

'Tell us,"

"There's nothing to tell," 

I was curious myself about Eden's so called love life, I mean he had one, what? Some poor girl put up with him?

"Where is she now?"

"Dead,"

My heart flipped and I looked away from the chips packet in Nik's hands and at Eden, did I just hear that right. Nik stopped chewing and his eyes widened and then he cracked a grin, "You are joking right?"

Eden's eyes met mine, "Why would I joke about this?"

Why was he looking at me like that?

"How did she die?"

Eden looked away from me and I looked at the grass Nik was sitting on, she died. 

Eden shrugged beside me crossing one leg over another, like we were talking about sports, or parties, not a care in the way he talked, "I wasn't there, someone got to her, no biggie,"

What did he mean no biggie. Someone was dead, someone he cared about, didn't that make him angry, what revenge, or I don't know, not talk about it like tonight's dinner

Nik showed the same concern I did, "And you're okay with that?"

Eden cracked a grim, bending down and taking his chips packet back, not that there was much left in it. There was an awkward silence before I felt his gaze on me, but I didn't have it in me to raise my eyes to meet him.

"I'll be with her one day, plus we all die don't we?"

That sentence alone, when it sank in, was enough to make my stomach flip and heart clench

After that there wasn't too much to talk about, Nik slowly took the awkwardness away telling us about some other event that was coming up, one that we should all go to, to celebrate the end of exams, however we weren't sitting the exams.

"It'll be great fun," he said nodding his head and I shook my head, not interested, but of course he ddn't realize yet that if he went, we had to, we were his security and guards after all. 

Something suddenly pushed me and I slipped of my chair with a yelp, but before I fell arms grabbed my waist pulling me onto the seat nad I look up, that arse wipe, Carter's eyes were amused yet concerned, "Since when do people catch you off guard?" he asked as I shrugged his hands off me and sat myself back on the seat.

Since recently. I realised he was sort of right, my head was all over the place the past few days, and that was affecting my work.

"I was half asleep," I said shrugging him off as I saw Alex and Jax walk towards us. They were strolling casually talking about something. 

"Come on Isandra,"

What? I looked at Nik who was still whining about something, "I'll make you amazing breakfasts everyday till the day I die-no till we leave here," he said and I cracked a grin. Eden smirked at me and I shook my head, the poor kid still didn't realise that if he went, I had to go.

I decided to put him out of his misery, "Yeah whatever," I nodded peering into the chips packet, which was empty, damn I was still hungry.

Nik met up with his other friends and Eden went back to the quiet observant person he was when I first saw him around them. and this time I knew why, because he really wasn't friends with most of them, he still had his input was more reserved.

I followed them as we walked around towards the shops they all wanted to go to, whoever shopped on a weekday, I never knew. 

 They walked to the local shopping complex that was surprisingly big. I followed them into the mens clothing departments, slightly feeling out of my comfort zone as I was surrounded by shirts, lots and lots of shirts. 

I hung back more interested in my shoes than the clothes as I waited for them to pick something. 

"Having fun?" I was surprised to see it was Eden who spoke up. I shrugged as I saw a few of them go into the change rooms, well, there was no way I was going in that direction, even if I was meant to protect a few of them.

Thankfully Carter and Alex were already onto that part. 

"Lots of shirts," I said looking around, I had never seen so many shirts in one place, or maybe I haven't been out shopping in a while, a long while.

Eden chuckled and I followed as he walked towards the other end of the store, still having the change rooms in sight but not going into it. 

Felix was the only one hanging outside on his phone saying he already had enough shirts. 

There was a comfortable silence as we both stood there waiting, before I had to ruin it because I was just curious.

A curious little beaver.

"Eden?" I knotted my eyebrows not sure how to approach the topic, but I really wanted to know. He nodded his head to say he heard me and I continued, I was sure he knew what I was about to ask him, after the recent discussion, he can't expect me not to be curious.

"Did she really die?" I asked. The words came out of my mouth so simply, so emotionless, i was sure a robot was capable of more emotion than me at some times

"What do you think Isandra?" 

I shrugged, to be honest I didn't know what to think, "Surely we aren't heartless to not feel emotion for the past, are we?"

It was Eden's turn to shrug as he rocked back on his feet and placed his hands into his pockets, "I believe we are capable to do so," 

Capable not to feel emotion? You could try, but there would always be a time to let it slip by. Hell I thought I was one of those type of people, except I felt anger and hate, that was a type of emotion. You had to feel something, that was the only thing that reminded you that you were still human.

"I also think, that deep down, when we know the real truth, it makes it harder to mask it," 

"What?" I asked confused looking up at him, his eyes had been narrowed, like he seemed angry but he was anything far from it.

He shrugged it off shaking his head and changing the topic, fast, but of course this new topic wasn't much of welcome, to me anyhow.

"What's with you and him," he asked nodding towards the change room. Me and who? I was sure there were five of them in that direction.

"Who?"

"The prince,"

I froze, "What do you mean?" I asked, my tone warning him that this was not a welcome topic.

'He seems to like you,"

I scoffed at that part. 

"A lot of people like me," I joked, I was just a likable person. And apparently the paparazzi liked my butt. 

"You know what I mean," he said nudging my shoulder with his playfully. I sighed.

'He doesn't like me Eden," there was a difference, "He liked the fact he can be rebellious by liking someone else. Probably just wants a fling before his wedding. He likes the fact that most people are too afraid to say no thanks to his authority"

There was a time when I thought he liked me too, hell I was sure I thought I felt something. I mean he was one of the first guys to look at me like I wasn't about to rip his heart out and feed it to the bears. 

Hell I was never around people who were normal before, where relationship was an everyday thing.

the prince was no different he liked the idea of being with me, but not me. If he knew what I was half capable off he would run in the other distance. He got caught up in lust like every other man presented with a female would.

It was nothing more.

"He cares about you,"

"Everyone in this room cares about me, tell me, if I died tomorrow, would you simply shrug it off?"

He raised an eyebrow and I shook my head, I knew he wouldn't simple just brush it off. They would care, either in the way of despair, or how did she die. 

"People want, what they can't have," I said shrugging, "Human nature."

"Did you study psychology as well as learning how to kill someone?"

I winked, "Don't you know it,"

He shook his head and started walking towards the change rooms, they were taking an awfully long time.

"What I do know, is that everyone deserves happiness, including people like us," I frowned at that, I don't think people like us deserved happiness, well people like me.

I took a life so easily, without a second glance.

"I know you don't believe it Isandra," he looked at the change rooms, "Hurry up you lot, we don't have all day," he yelled banging on them hearing them all shout back "Yes sir, General Sir" mockingly.

He turned to look at me, his eyes piercing into mine, "But you deserve more happiness than anyone one of us in here does,"