I'm hollow.

Like literally hollow. I have no idea what to feel.

I think that my body hasn't fully registered that Voltron is over, and is like hoping for something more, like another season or another episode since half of the fandom is currently hating season 8, and wants Lauren and Joaquim to make up for the ending. I think that my hope for some kind of continuation is the only thing keeping me from really breaking down. I really am not ready to let this show go. And especially not the fandom. Even if I wasn't even that involved in it; the only platform I really participated in the fandom in was here on Wattpad, with an anonymous profile. Otherwise, I was always an observer on Instagram, but that was okay, because it still felt like I belonged in the fandom. I won't say that I've made friends through this show like most people say, because I really haven't, since I didn't participate fully, but I have got the honor to interact with so many here on my stories, and got my first audience to read what I've wrote.

That was honestly one of the best things to happen these past 2 years of sticking to this fandom. The fandom is what's been the best thing, and I think it will be harder to let that go rather than the actual show. I've learned so many things from just watching Voltron posts on Instagram, and I've also developed a new kind of love for drawing since the show and every fanart has inspired me and showed me so many different styles. I don't think my drawing would have looked the way they are right now if it wasn't for that.

The Voltron fandom is the first one I have been in, so this is all a wonderful experience to me (despite all the toxic things to happen, since I choose to see past that). It will be heartbreaking to let it go, but I know that I will ultimately move on. But just not now.

Although, some of you maybe are already ready to move on, so my question is:

Will you stick around for more of my stories? Will you still read my stories and stick to the fandom a little more? I say we make Voltron last for as long as possible
❤️💙💛💚🖤🧡💗

And of course, Klance shall live on in our hearts. Like it's always done💜

۝ ۝ ۝

I had no excuse as to why I should be leaving the castle these quintants, since Nyma was on her "unfinished mission", and would be on that mission for some time, even if me and Keith were in fact friends now and I didn't need to use that lame excuse for not going out anymore. But I had to keep it convincing; I could just decide on a quintant were Nyma would "be back" and everything would go back to normal. I could then visit Keith in his cave whenever I wanted. But for now, I had to refrain myself from seeing him for at least one movement more. I could do that, right?

I really couldn't. 

Every tick was painful, dragging out on my already low patience. I tried to fill up my head with every sort of nonsense all quintant, getting to a point where I was desperate enough to ask for another lesson in etiquette, to make up for every lesson I missed. It ended with me falling asleep whilst our preceptor kept ranting about why it is so important to maintain a straight posture at the dining table, and that rant lasted for a varga. In my short little dream I kept seeing Keith swinging from a chandelier with a juniberry in his mouth, and it made me jolt awake just as the preceptor turned around to announce that the lesson was over and that I was dismissed. My brain really knew how to play tricks on me, taking things I'd see in a quintant and basing off the weirdest dreams out of that. So in conclusion, the etiquette lessons wasn't much of a distraction.

I went with another tactic; asking Hunk and Pidge to come over to the castle. It was nothing wrong with that, since they often visited, anyways. Hunk and Allura went straight for the kitchen, but I silently checked up on Pidge in the dining room, sinking down into the chair beside her, watching wordlessly as she typed away on her little computer, waiting for her to acknowledge my presence, but she didn't. Eventually I asked:

"Hey, whatcha doin'?"

She typed in some more things, and I was wondering if she was ever going to answer me. Numbers and letters flashed over her screen, so I was assuming something was happening. I couldn't know; I didn't speak programmian.

"I'm glad you called me over, Lance", she mumbled eventually, not looking away from the computer screen. "I've been developing ideas on how to upgrade the castles shields, you know, for future incidents. I'm running a diagnosis right now."

My brain yawned, already getting bored of the conversation, but maybe this was the perfect way to lead my thoughts onto another track. 

I tried to seem infatuated by her words. "Really? And how would you do that?"

She stopped in her action, looking up at me, surprised over my curiosity. "Well of course, I'd have to transmute the particle barrier's polarity. And to do that, I'd need some kind of quantum shift network to stimulate a collapse of the wave pocket into a darkening perplexity, and that'd be impossible without changing the Planck Constant, which would originally be something like h = 6,6261·10−34 Js..."

۝ ۝ ۝

After taking a nap with open eyes during Pidge's jargon, I decided to dismiss myself out of the dining room in the most natural way, slithering into the kitchen where Hunk and Allura were intensively discussing something over the table. This ought to be good. Food is always better than technology.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I asked as I entered the kitchen. 

Hunk looked over his shoulder, smiling. "Oh, hey Lance. Me and Allura are just working on a little project I've started."

My stomach cheered in delight, and I made my way over to them. "Ooo, a project, you say? Could that project perhaps have something with food to do? In that case, my stomach is very ready to taste your project..."

I halted to a stop, looking down at the empty table. Well, not quite empty, but not filled with what I wanted it to be. Instead it was suffused with different holograms with various pictures and way too much text. The despondency was overwhelming.

"Actually, this project is a little bit different", Hunk started while Allura wrote something on one of the cyan screens. "I'm working on translating my recipes into different languages, so every species has a chance to take part of the cooking. You know, I really think they need it now, after the whole... Zarkon thing. I'm hoping that my recipes will spread happiness to every planet."

I would have found what he said extremely cute if my stomach wasn't so adamant right in that moment. "Huh? So no cooking? No food?"

Hunk rolled his eyes. "Lance, cooking isn't just about the food, you know. Cooking is a language. A language I want everybody to understand..."

"Yeah yeah, language, I get it..." I sighed and turned around, ready to leave, disappointed that I had to leave with an empty stomach.

"You want to help us, Lance?" my sister asked.

"No thanks", I said over my shoulder as I went out of the kitchen, looking for my third tactic as to how I could occupy my mind with anything else but the thought of him.

۝ ۝ ۝

I ended up in the garden again, encompassed by the heavy scent of juniberries. Which wasn't such a good idea, since whenever I closed my eyes, the same picture of Keith hanging from the chandelier with the damn flower in his mouth kept popping up in my head. But anywhere were better than my room. In my room, the picture of him in my head would have been twice as horrifying. I had to appreciate it was just Keith swinging from the chandelier, and nothing more than that. 

Instead of pushing the thought of him away, I let it advance into something more. Something deeper. 
How long would this go on for? How long could we secretly visit each other before it would feel like not enough, like some kind of dissatisfaction? I knew for a fact that my family would never approve of this whole thing, and Keith overall, and the longer I kept this a secret form them, the angrier they would get if I told them (which I certainly did not plan on doing). Who knows what they could do to him and his other galra friends if they knew about his existence. Could this trigger a galaxy war? Zarkon was laying on the low now, but would dad get angered enough to start something so atrocious as a bloodshed? How would even Altea look if something like that occurred? 

I sat up with a shudder. Best to just not tell anyone.

"What's with the frown on your face?" someone asked from beside me.

My head whipped around, and Keith was sitting beside me. I opened my mouth to scream, but before the sound could got through, his hand was firmly pressed against my mouth, silencing me. I still hollered, only this time it was muffled and would attract no attention. My heart jumped out of my chest and gave up in life.

His glove was the only thing preventing my lips from touching his skin, which shouldn't have disappointed me so much, but what could I say, I was being irrational these days, so none of my thoughts made any sense anyways. 

My scream lasted for a dobosh, and we stared at each other the whole time. Keith was patiently waiting for me to calm down, and when I somewhat did, I studied the color of his eyes. Or more like the kind of purple in his eyes; today they looked almost mauve, which was interesting, since his irises often looked neon like. Today they were bright, but dull.

Keith smirked just a little. "Calmed down yet?" 

I grunted against his hand. That shithead. Why ask, when he must have clearly heard that my heart was far from calming down. The irritation was of course momentarily, and it made me impulsive, so I acted pure on instinct.

Which led me to biting down on his palm, the thick fabric between us making my front teeth twinge. 

Keith withdrew his hand calmly, not showing any sign of pain whatsoever, and he looked down at the little mark my bit had left. 

"You bit me", he stated matter-of-factly.

"And you scared me to death", I retorted, showing up two fingers up in his face. "For the second time. I'm double dead, Keith. Show me some sympathy."

"Hm", he snorted, leaning back a little. "Count the jump-scares as a profit. You get to test your own senses, which we can now tell is utter rubbish. What if I were a bad guy? Silently approaching you to kill you? You wouldn't even notice a thing."

It was a conclusive point, but I wouldn't give him that satisfactory by telling him so.

"I don't need to have good senses to know that everything you're saying is bullshit, and that your mullet is terrible", I snapped, trying to push the previous dream of him out of my mind again, frustrated that it had somehow came to life in my head again, looking even clearer now that he was actually in front of me, and so darn close.

Keith kept his smirk, but his eyebrows knit together. "Keep talking shit about my mullet, and you might actually turn me into the bad guy, and no sense can help you with that."

Well, time for me to shut the hell up, then. 

His face immediately relaxed, and the emotion switch was giving me a headache. "You're not going to ask me what I'm doing here?"

It took sometime to recover from the consternation, but when I did, I said: "I assumed you would answer that anyways."

He nodded a few times, sitting down on his bum, bringing his knees up, resting his underarms on his kneecaps. His hair blew in just the right direction, swaying in a way that made it seem programmed to do just so. Like the motions were on repeat. 

"Well, I guess we've swapped roles", he said in an undertone, not looking at me. "Now I'm the one seeing you in a clearly forbidden place for me to be in. You know, like you always do when visiting me in the cave. I was lucky that my wild guess of you being out here was true, though."

Something bubbled in my stomach, and I was engulfed in a sudden wave of euphoria, a sudden pull in the abdomen, like falling from long heights and experiencing the adrenaline right after, just like when Blaytz once took me for a ride in Blue, doing such an abrupt spiral dive that I almost broke my vocal cords from screaming.
But why that feeling appeared now, I wasn't so sure of. Maybe it was the fact that he wanted to see me, and took the risks in doing so, when he was all about how dangerous it is and babbling on about the consequences. As if I didn't know about the consequences. I just chose not to focus on them and put more thought on what I really wanted. Maybe he was starting to do the same.

"Huh", I said with a snigger. "I guess my stupidity is growing on you."

"It is", he conceded, looking up at me, his irises narrowing into small slits. "It's only a matter of time before the universe rebukes us for our actions, but if it's something you've taught me, it's to not care about that. You always seem to live in the moment, and I'll try to do the same." His eyes twinkled, the mauve looking even brighter now. "I'll show you, a reality where no consequences exists for me."

۝ ۝ ۝

This was good. Talking to him. A good talk, and no screaming included, the only anxiety felt concerning if someone was going to disturb us, but even that anxiety was feeble. I knew he had it all under control.

For half a varga, Keith explained something about an event in Earth called Christmas - since I asked about typical Earth things -, and I would say, it sounded very gratifying. An old man riding a sleigh driven by his flying reindeers (animals Shiro had showed me pictures of before) and handing out presents to kind children around the world in only one night - that sounded awesome. I wonder why Shiro and Adam never told me anything about it.

"I wish Alteans had something like that", I sighed, twirling a strand of grass around my index finger. "Christmas sounds like so much fun."

"You can make it happen", Keith said with a shrug. "Just get a tree, decorate it, eat lots of food, sing Christmas songs and give each other presents, and then you have the typical Christmas celebration."

I turned to look at him, grimacing. "You don't sound too keen on it. Is it bad, or something?"

His face was turned downwards, but I could see how the purple in his eyes had gone very dark, almost looking black. His eyebrows twitched. "It used be fun, when I had someone to celebrate it with." 

I pressed my lips together, feeling how I was starting to sweat.

"Oh... U-um...I guess... you don't want to... elaborate?" I squeaked, feeling my teeth rattle.

He pierced his eyes into mine, any sign of glee gone from his face. "There is nothing to elaborate."

My eyes widened, and my hands flew up in defence. "Yeah...yeah, of course..."

But he was already starting to stand up, bending over and side to side to stretch his muscles after not moving for almost a varga. The suit he was wearing showed clearly how his muscles swelled when he moved, and oh boy, if I stared.

"H-hey...", I stammered when I managed to get out of my own trance. "Hey, wait, don't leave, I'm sorry if I upset you..."

Keith straightened his back again, cracking his fingers before looking down at me, and my bones melted when he flashed me a gutsy smile. "Don't worry, Lance, you did nothing wrong. Just being here overtime, that's all. I still have that unmentioned mission to take care of, you know."

I refrained myself from emitting a loud, relieved sigh, and I stood up as well, temporarily wobbling on frail legs. "Oh, okay, good. Not that you're leaving, of course...! I just... I don't want you to leave..."

"I know", he muttered. "I don't want to leave either, but I have to."

"But you'll visit me like this again, right? Same time?" My voice was pitchy from hope. 

"Only if you make sure not to die for the third time when you see me, and to be here the exact time. It's not like you can call me, or something..."

I snorted with a small smile, experimentally stretching out my legs, wincing at the cracks. "Hm... Not like I can call... oh... ooooOOHHHHH, you just gave me an idea, holy shit, I've got an idea!" I was already stumbling backwards, away form him. Keith looked baffled, and I pointed at him. "You stay right here!" I turned around and ran back inside.

۝ ۝ ۝

"Oh thank Quiznack, you're still here", I said as I bolted inside the dining room, seeing Pidge in the exact same position she had been in when I first left. She looked up from her computer when she heard me enter.

"Lance", she simply said. 

I stopped when I reached to the table, leaning against it, panting. "Pidge! I need you to do me a favor."

She brought up her hightech glasses higher up on her nose, raising a brow. "Bold of you to assume I will do you any favor at all."

"Piiddgee", I whined, whisking off her baloney. "I really need this favor. It's a simple one, too. I need is as a present for Nyma."

Pidge eyebrow rose higher. "Oh, your girlfriend? Go on, then..."

"I need one of your communicating devices you always carry around, you know, to be able to talk to her without having to go visit her all the time."

She gained a dubious look on her face. "Now? Allura said something about Nyma being away on a mission, or something. So why do you need it now?"

Of course Allura told you that. "Because otherwise I will forget to ask for it! Best to just give it to me now so I have it, and don't risk forgetting about it."

"But..."

"Just give me the damn device!"I frantically said, growing impatient. 

Pidge frowned, starting to roam around in her pocket. "Okay, okay, geez..." She took out her hand and handed me the tiny square device, dropping it down into my grasp, and then she looked up at me. "But hey, do you even know how to use i..."

But I was already at the door.

۝ ۝ ۝

Keith was wasn't there when I returned, but I wouldn't let that fool me. 

Running over to the tree, I got to the other side of it, panting.

"Keith! Keith, look what I've..."

I stopped, looking down at the very empty spot in front of the tree. 
Okay, now I was definitely fooled. Where had he gone? Did I take that long that I had eventually bored him to a point where he felt like leaving? Personally, I felt like this have been the fastes thing I had ever done, and I always managed to take forever on me.

"I didn't think your senses could get any worse", he said behind me. 

This scream was short lived, but strident. My own ears throbbed at the sound.

Keith chortled, and his laugh made the angels jealous.

I furrowed my brows, glaring at him. "Wow Keith, you managed to make me trippel dead now. Do you think that's a good achievement? Making my heart stop three times?"

He tittered, and took a step forward, tapping my ears. I held my breath. "Use these better, you need to be aware of your surroundings." When he backed away again, my face felt heated. He looked down at the device in my loose grip, quirking an eyebrow. "What's that?"

His question reminded me of what I wanted to show him, and it was enough to briefly steer away the anger, and I was filled with a new kind of fad. I lifted my hand to show him the little miracle in my hold.

"Look! I managed to get a communicating device for you, so we can talk to each other without having to put up with all this sneaking and caution. It's already connected to mine, so I'll just send you a signal later on so you know it's me. It'll be awesome, right!"

I urged him to take it by stretching out my hand, beaming at him when he glanced at my face, before hesitantly taking the object into his own grasp, turning it and appraising it in his hand, getting a focused look on his face. I chewed on my lip, ardently awaiting his reaction.

None came for some ticks, and my botheration rose high. I dug my teeth deeper into my lip.

But then Keith looked up, and the worry dissipated in an instant.

۝ ۝ ۝

Well then, here was the next chapter. I'm not very proud of it, but it's something, considering that I have had no motivation to do anything these past days. But I'm slowly getting back on track, so you'll just have to be patient with me 😅

And I'm going on vacation today, which means I'll be away for nine days, but of course I will try to write whenever I have the time to!

I hope you're enjoying this story so far, and of course it'll become more exciting later on, just you wait.

Oh, and guess what happened! I got otitis again :'D Yay. So it hurt like quiznack the first two days, but now I'm just half deaf (I can't hear shit in my right ear)

Anyways, 

Merry Christmas everyone! ❤️