As Gilbert lay next to Matthew, stroking his hair and watching his chest move up and down, he felt like he was alive, more alive than he had ever felt. He was comfortable. He was...
He guessed he was...
In love?
It was such a light feeling, much nicer than he remembered.
Did that mean this was stronger or did it mean that the last time was overclouded with hurt? Maybe all that time with the fizzling romance had dampened what he had felt before.
"What time is it?" Matthew slurred softly. Gilbert's heart skipped a beat.
"It's almost eight."
"I want to go back to sleep."
"It's okay. Sleep as long as you want."
"Okay." Matthew clung onto Gilbert's shirt, eyes still closed against the fading light.
"Are you comfortable? Do you need me to move?"
"Don't move." A smile played on the Canadian's lips. "Warm."
"Matthew,"
"Yeah?"
"His name was Roderich."
"Whose name?"
"My ex fiancé. He was in some of my old videos but when we broke up..." Gilbert paused. "That's what that question was about."
Matthew didn't answer. Gilbert pushed the hair out of his eyes.
"You awake?"
No reply. He was sleeping again.
Gilbert went back to petting his head.
Another half hour passed before Matthew shifted. "Can you put a movie on or something?"
"Are you just going to sleep through it?"
"It's too quiet." The way he said that...it sounded so sorrowful.
"Yeah. Of course." Maybe he was used to the noise since he came from a large family.
The Prussian grabbed the remote from his nightstand and turned Netflix on.
"Is that good?"
"It's perfect."
"Matthew,"
"Yeah?"
"I...don't...normally kiss people..."
"Huh?"
"I don't kiss people...but I kissed you..."
"So?"
"So...I love you."
Matthew sat up, swallowing. "No."
"What?"
"No...don't...uh...hockey."
"Huh?"
"Hockey! Hockey!! Don't say that!" Matthew shouted, eyes starting to water. "This isn't what we are!!"
"Matthew, please,"
"I have to go." The blond declared. He crawled out of the bed, backing up like Gilbert was a wild animal.
"I won't say it again, Matthew, please!"
"Don't...just...don't..."
Gilbert didn't even get a chance to run after him before he was out of the room and out of the house.
"Fuck!" He shouted, kicking his wall. Why did this always happen? Why did Matthew reject him like that? What had gone wrong?
He stormed into the kitchen grabbing a beer out of the fridge and popping it open on the side of the counter.
"Fuck this shit." He uttered, taking a huge sip of the drink.
He reached for his phone on the table and noticed another one right beside it. Matthew had forgotten his.
He would probably come back for it. All he had to do was keep it safe until then. Maybe by the time he had come back, he would have cooled off enough that they could talk about this. Gilbert would do anything to get Matthew back.
Even if it was just as a friend.