Since I forgot to get Lucas, I decided to call him. "Hey bro, where are you? I've been waiting for an hour now. It's kinda cold out here." "Sorry man, I totally forgot to get you. Is it okay if you go home and we will do the project? We will of course send you everything." "Sure thing, don't wanna be with you lovebirds anyways. Have fun and we'll see each other tomorrow anyway."

I put my phone away after ending the call with Lucas and laid on Annas bed. She was working on some of her homework while I just stared at her. She was so beautiful, her hair was perfectly combed, her little bit of makeup sat perfectly on her face, her clothes fit her so well and her face scrunched up when she starts to concentrate really hard. I fell hard for her but I can't let her know. I can't risk it. It is a high risk I will not take. Never.

I probably stared for for too long because I heard her sweet loving voice talking to me. "Ag, you okay? Are you still with me?" She waved her hand a few times over my head and in front of my eyes before I shook my head and looked at her again. "Sorry boon, I must have slipped away." We smiled at each other as she laid next to me. "You know you have a very beautiful face. I could look at you all day and wouldn't get tired of looking at you."

Wait, what?! Did she just tell me that my face is beautiful and she could stare at it for a long time? What the fuck? Does she enjoy playing with my feelings? "Anna please don't start something you can't finish. You can't just say those things when in reality we both know, a relationship, can't work between us. Our friendship would be destroyed. Maybe in our early years we would be happy. But what happens afterwards? When we have kids and we get divorced because we don't work? I can't be divorced knowing I loved you for so long just to lose you in the end and not having you on my death bed, telling me life goes on. I don't want it Anna, not without you. Even if it means to only have you as my bestfriend on my side."

As I looked into her ocean blue eyes, I realised what I just said.Fuck, Ag keep your shit together. You just basically told her you like her in a romantic way. What is wrong with you? You know she is straight and now you are talking to yourself which is also myself but you talk in the second form so it's you but also me. What the hell? Grammar is confusing. Always hated grammar and writing.

I saw little tears running down her cheeks, her cheeks were rose red, just a tiny little more than an average blush you would buy in a drug store. Some of her mascara got stained in her face and on her shirt she wore. "How can you say that? What if things actually might work out for the two of us? What if we get married and we will be the happiest lesbian couple there has ever been? What if we make an amazing career where we have money to support whatever our children will need in the future, so they can grow up without being scared their mums can't pay the bills this month. What if we love each other so much that we won't ever give up our love because it's something unique and worth fighting for? What if we can be the role models for all those lesbians out there who don't think they can fight as they haven't found their special someone yet? What if we can make it and be the best versions of ourselves because we might be soulmates? So many what ifs but you still think I wouldn't want you. Why? Why should anyone reject a Mary Annagrace McDaniel? This would be like saying you don't like girls romantically. Bullshit. So Ag McDaniel, I want you to tell me we can do this together. That we can make a difference for the people who can only see black and white at the moment. Tell me that you want to be by my side for eternity."

I didn't know what to say. She said a lot about loving me aswell. I just didn't know if I could take the risk of losing our friendship. There was one answer I had to give Anna in this very second. It could determine my entire life and future.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am sorry for the cliffhanger but I promise to update on the weekend. Keep going guys, I am proud of all of you.

Please make sure to drink and eat something, even if it's just one sip or bite. I am proud of everyone who keeps pushing through. Let me be your reminder that you are valid, beautiful and loved.

Date of publishing: 28th of January 2021

Words: 845 words