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thirty-five

"Hey, Dina."

She glanced up, her wide brown eyes searching for the intruder before landing on Nicholas's tall frame. Slowly, her lips curled into a bright smile, blinding him with its radiance, its purity, its beauty. The sudden drumming against his ears vibrated throughout his body, nerves bundling together, tongue twisted, and eyes purely focused on the perfect girl before him.

What is wrong with me?

"Hey!" she grinned. "Sorry for ignoring you a bit. I was searching for the next two books after Stalking Jack the Ripper. I have to know the details of Thomas and Audrey's relationship. I'm going insane over it."

Nicholas pulled a chair out next to her. "Are you seriously that obsessed?" he asked with a knowing smile. "Just google it on a fandom page."

"Nemo," gasped Dina, jaw dropping. "How dare you utter such forbidden words?"

Nicholas shrugged. "We might as well use our resources. Besides, you don't even have time to read. Finals are in two weeks."

"So what?"

"You should be studying."

"Studying is for scrubs," she scoffed, holding her book closer to her chest. "My books are my oxygen. Don't tell me otherwise."

"Says the girl who freaked out the second she got below a ninety percent," he muttered under his breath.

"Nemo! That was our secret!" exclaimed Dina, cheeks flushing a light red as she scanned the room for any witnesses.

Nicholas couldn't help but chuckle, feeling it rumble within his chest. The past few days had brightened his mood, clearing the dark skies, removing the heavy weights on his shoulders, and introducing Nicholas to a world that had been veiled to him. The Younes twins, Elijah, and Dina had all managed to pull Nicholas away from societal pressures.

Their constant reminders of hope was the flame he needed to move one, the leg that he needed to stand, and the freedom that he needed to succeed. However, Mother's Day was right around the corner, his anxiety running laps around him as he remembered his own mother, his own father, his family.

The smile had fallen, replaced with the empty cavity of numbness.

"Hey," started Dina softly, noticing the mood shift, "is everything all right?"

The word 'yes' tasted bitter on his tongue, a lie he had been telling for years, but around Dina only the truth surfaced, only the sweet taste of release from his torturous chains surfaced. Nicholas needed her comfort during a time where most spent their days rejoicing in their parent's endearment.

"I need your advice."

She nodded, encouraging him to go on. Her beloved book sat on the library desk untouched, idly sitting while her unwavering attention focused on Nicholas. As he stared deep into her dark brown orbs, a familiar circle of warmth stared back at him, urging him to confess his deepest secrets to the girl that he wished to spend the rest of his life with.

Desperation clawed at his jaws, tensing them. "I... it's just..." he trailed off, not knowing where to start.

"Nemo," she whispered, expression softening upon hearing his stumbled heap of words, "you can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

I can do this.

I have to do this.

I need to do this.

Taking a deep breath, Nicholas began to confer the secret he held for ages, a harsh reality that he kept hidden from the public eyes, a whip that he burned in the back of his mind. With a faltering voice, Nicholas recalled the holidays and the dread pooling in his stomach like a flood ready to wash him away.

"Mother's Day is coming up and usually my parents force me to spend it with them, especially my... my mom," he whispered the word, averting his gaze to the carpeted floors. "I... I can't do it. I can't survive a minute longer with them. I can't."

"Can I ask why?" she asked softly like she was speaking to a scared child.

He sighed, threading his fingers into locks of blonde hair. "Dina," he stressed, lifting his gaze to bore into hers, "they sent me to a mental institution."

A barely audible gasp was heard, empathy coating the clear glaze of her eyes, lips shaking as Dina tried to fathom the world in which Nicholas was raised. The evident pain that lurked in her eyes mirrored his, shocked and speechless at the naked truth. He felt vulnerable.

"One night in high school, my friends and I got in a very bad car accident. The accident left me broken and bruised, but it left my best friends with... with torn limbs, bloodied bodies, and a stagnant heart," he breathed, a sharp pain throbbed against his skull, eyes remembering the crimson liquid that stained his clothes. He squeezed his eyes shut when the memory became unbearable.

Gentle fingers stroked the edge of his cheeks, wiping at damp spots. Opening his eyes, he saw Dina working her magic with only her presence and her silent support. From their seated positions, she cradled his cheeks, brushing the stray tears away with only the tips of her fingers, with only her love.

"Did they send you there because of the accident?" she whispered.

He nodded, more tears falling like deserted rivers polluted with despair. "I-I don't want to go back," he cried, arms holding her close. "I can't. T-They left me when I n-needed them the m-most. I don't want to go back."

"Shh," she murmured, "it's all okay, Nick. Everything is going to be alright."

"I-It hurt to know that t-they hated me."

"Hey, I'm sure they don't hate you. They're your parents, Nick. No matter what, there is a part of them that will always love you, that will always care for you, that will always mourn for you. They don't hate you," she tried to reason.

He pulled back from her embrace. "Then why have they never said it? Why did they send me there for a year? Why would they leave their son like that?" questioned Nicholas, anger coating his every word as defeat hovered over his head like a target ready to be hit. "I just want to know why."

"I'm sorry but I can't answer that question, Nicholas. Only your parents can."

He slumped his shoulders in defeat.

"But I can go with you if it makes you feel better. My brothers and Elijah could go too if you want," she offered with an optimistic smile. "You're not alone anymore, Nick. We'll find the answers together. After all the trauma you experienced, it's time to get some closure."

He knew that she was right, but he also knew that Dina's religious beliefs prohibited her from going anywhere alone with him, especially meeting his parents. Nicholas had been reading a little about Islam everyday in hopes to understand Dina's complexity and to seek answers that he chased after. He wanted to find a way for them to be together with no criticism or fear of the forbidden.

But he knew that he couldn't go through another meeting with his parents alone.

"Will you help me?" he asked, legs shaking as he awaited her refusal.

She grinned. "I'll go assemble the crew."

Confusion swirled his mind like a tornado setting havoc to his mentality. Once again, Dina surprised him with her unexpected take on life, a bubbly personality that ran after those in need. He found himself falling deeper in love with the Muslim girl who managed to melt his heart of ice.

"Why are you doing this?"

The question caught her off guard, causing Dina to drink in the meaning behind his question. Biting her bottom lip, she became uncertain in her answer and almost fearful of Nicholas's reaction. He simply gazed at her with fondness, wondering how such a beautiful creature was ever created.

As if giving herself a burst of confidence, Dina smiled. "Because I love you."

And that was exactly what Nicholas needed. 

----

A lot of you guys have been asking to update my three ongoing books, but believe me when I say that I am really trying to. It's AP exam season and studying, debating, tutoring, and even driving lessons are really taking up my free time. 

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I WON'T UPDATE. 

I still will, but the week of all my AP exams, which happens to be the first week of Ramadan, will have either one or no updates that week. I'll still try no worries. Just cut me some slack these next three weeks. 

What do you think Dina will do to help Nick?

Don't forget to vote, comment, and follow!

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