The constant ringing from Nicholas's phone woke him from his slumber. He put a pillow over his ears, attempting to muffle the annoying sound. For a small sliver of time, the ringing stopped. Nicholas sighed as silence filled the air once more. Finally, he thought.

He removed the pillow from his ears and snuggled closer into the warm haven of his bed, relishing in the peace and quiet. The occasional sounds of cars zipping past were heard, but Nicholas was a city boy, he was used to it. The busy city became a buzz in the background and his thoughts were once again drifting to a certain girl with a headscarf.

Ring Ring.

Nicholas swore under his breath, burying his head into his pillow to muffle his frustrated scream. He would not answer that phone, he would not. Whoever was calling would have to wait until morning because Nicholas was not a functioning adult this late at night. He refused to talk to anyone until he got his much needed rest.

The room went silent again, allowing Nicholas to relax his tense body. Darkness engulfed him, dragging him away from the cruel realities of life, and taking him to a new world where there was nothing that stopped his aspirations. For the first time, he was invincible against everything. A girl stood beside him in his fantasy, a girl who stayed on his mind all the time now. He smiled as he gazed into her dark brown eyes. Dina.

His phone rang, erasing all images of the perky Muslim girl, and bringing Nicholas back to the cold-hearted world he had found himself hating. More specifically, he hated his phone because at that moment, the small metallic device disturbed his peace.

"For Christ's sake, Nick. Answer your damn phone!" yelled Elijah from the other bedroom.

Sighing, Nicholas outstretched his arm to his bed. He fumbled over his glasses and pens before finally feeling the smooth surface of his phone. Latching his fingers around it, he brought the touchscreen device to his face. Nicholas's blue eyes squinted at the bright screen. His finger hovered over the green 'answer' button as he bit his lip, wondering if he should answer.

"Nick!" Elijah shouted. "If you don't answer that stupid phone, so help me God, I'm gonna break it along with you."

Nicholas pressed the button.

"Hey, honey," a soft voice greeted him.

"Mom."

"You didn't answer your phone. I called three times," she stated, her voice drifting off.

Nicholas squeezed his eyes shut. "Sorry," he said.

His mother sighed, "Nicholas."

"What?"

"Can you at least talk to me?" she snapped. "You don't answer any of my calls anymore, you refuse to leave a message or tell me how you're doing, you don't even visit me!"

Nicholas stayed silent, hearing her heavy breaths over the phone and her choked up voice, asking, begging, pleading him to respond. Deep in his heart, he knew her efforts were pointless.

"Nicholas," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

He heard her quiet sobs over the phone, her voice faltering, her sniffles, and still Nicholas couldn't even find any remorse for his actions. He felt cold, unaffected by her tears, her falsehood. She never cared. He was the unwanted child that she wished was never born.

"Sorry, huh?" she bitterly, laughed. "You're always sorry, Nicholas. When do you ever take the time to show it? When do you ever pick up your phone to answer my calls? When, Nicholas? Tell me."

He stayed silent.

"Never. You never show it, not even to your own mother," she hissed.

"Really, Mom? You're going to play that game with me?" he questioned as he felt the small tremors of anger blazing within him.

"What in the world are you-"

He cut her off. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not a puppet like your employees, Mom. I'm not a prize for you to show off. I'm your son, your child," he emphasized.

"I know that. Nicholas, I'm your mother, I know you."

He shook his head, even though he knew she couldn't see it. "No, you don't. You think you know me, but you don't. You don't even know who I am anymore, Mom," he whispered. "You never knew."

She went silent.

Nicholas felt his throat begin to clog up. He swallowed the lump that was forming and forced himself to speak, his voice quivering. "W-Where were you when I needed you the most? Why did you leave me all alone?" he managed to get out. "Why, Mom?"

"Sweetheart-" she started in her motherly tone.

"You left me."

"Nicholas, please. Don't do this to me," she begged.

"My own mother, she abandoned me, sent me away from her because her son was broken. I was a wreck, wasn't I, Mom?" he heartlessly taunted her as he felt tears well up in his eyes. "I was too much to handle. I was just a boy who was too damaged beyond repairs, a boy who didn't fit the perfect family picture, right?"

"I didn't leave you! I only wanted what was best for you, Nicholas," she cried, "I didn't mean it. Please, sweetheart."

"I wasn't worth it."

"Nicholas-"

"You and Dad, both. I wasn't perfect for either of you. I was a mistake, trapping you into a marriage that you didn't want. How can I forgive when I can never forget?" he continued, brokenly.

"You were never a mistake," she argued.

Nicholas chuckled, humorlessly. Small teardrops began dripping down his cheeks and his vision blurred. "When did you ever show it, Mom? When did you tell me that you loved me?" he asked.

She didn't say anything.

"You may be my mother by blood but you'll n-never be my mother by c-choice. I'm sorry."

Nicholas hung up before he could hear her protests. He stared at the screen that flashed her picture to him, more tears rolled down his face and touched his screen, blurring his mother's image. His grip tightened as he saw the phone rang again. He muted it and threw it on the nightstand beside him, sitting upright on the bed. His shoulders shook as he breathed heavily, letting all the anger he bottled up for years come out.

How could she?

His parents never gave him the love and comfort that most had. They didn't care that their son was internally destroying himself. They didn't care that their son stopped eating. They didn't care that Nicholas contemplated suicide. The second he was old enough, they forgot about him and sent him away. They left him for the world to dig its teeth in, for reality to sharpen its blades, for darkness to engulf him.

They abandoned Nicholas, an act that he could never forgive because when he needed his parents the most, they were never there. The thought alone shattered him into pieces. His heart felt as though it were tearing itself from his chest, his body became aware of a familiar pain. This pain was heavy, dragging him down with weights of sorrow. His pain was incurable, and he was just waiting for it to destroy him.

----

School started, hella scared about SATs, and trying to learn how to drive. God, help my soul. At least I'm keeping up with the weekly updates, right?

Back to the story, that was some heavy chapter. My poor baby ;-;

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